


Two Bro's Sitting In The Hot Tub Five Feet Apart 'Cause They're Not Gay.

by 2kitsune



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bi-Curiosity, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Dry Humping, Exhibitionism, Explicit Sexual Content, Exploration, First Times, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Themes, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Making Out, Multiple Orgasms, Rimming, Sexual Content, Sexual Themes, Slow Burn, cumming in pants, handjobs, unprotected anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:09:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 86,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24387238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2kitsune/pseuds/2kitsune
Summary: Mark's straight, that's what he's told himself his whole life, but when he and Donghyuck propose 'practicing' on each other for when they have girlfriends after a fateful encounter in Shanghai, Mark starts to wonder if maybe he had been wrong this whole time.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 62
Kudos: 769





	1. Beginnings.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! It's Kyn. First of all, thank you so much for clicking onto this story, it's taken me almost half a year to get it to the point where I can start posting and so now I'm really excited to share it with you. This whole story idea came from that iconic vine - yes, that one - and to start with it was just meant to be a oneshot, but then my thoughts and ideas got away with me and well, you'll see how it ends. 
> 
> Thank you once again ! and thank you to my wonderful Beta, Shan ! they don't have an ao3 but still I want to thank them so much for putting up with my bullshit and helping me - you're awesome ! their tumblr is: https://absolutelymonstrous.tumblr.com if you're interested. 
> 
> My tumblr is: https://2kitsuneao3 if you'd also like to follow me, I post updates of stories / chapters but also if you want to come talk to me there then please feel free!

It’s around midday and Mark is bored. They’re in Shanghai again, fresh out of a tour and having a few days of rest and recuperation before they had to fly back to Korea. Mark had spent the whole first day sleeping, only waking up to go swimming, shower, and have dinner with a couple of the others before going straight back to sleep in the early hours of the morning. However, he had overestimated how much he had actually wanted to sleep, and now he was awake sitting in his shared hotel room with Donghyuck bored out of his fucking mind because although they were on ‘holiday’ they weren’t actually allowed to leave the hotel, and there was _fuck all_ to do.

Mark’s resorted to aimlessly scrolling through tumblr when Donghyuck looks up from the Gameboy in his hands, fixing Mark with a peculiar look, and Mark is just about to open his mouth and ask why the fuck he was being stared at like that when Donghyuck opens his mouth and says, in a completely deadpan voice, “I want to go in the hot tub.”

“Now?” Mark cocks an eyebrow at his friend. It’s the middle of the week, so most of the hotel was empty and they practically had it all to themselves. It's midday, so no one with any common sense would go to the hot tub at this time. “Why?”

Donghyuck’s full attention is on him now and it’s almost comical the way the sandy blond rolls his eyes at him, the corner of his mouth turning up. “I’m bored, duh. Come on, Mark, _fuckin’_ live a little.”

The thing about Donghyuck is that he’s incredibly good at convincing people to do the things he wants, or getting people to do things for him. All he has to do is give that mischievous look, maybe pout a little or smirk depending on what he was proposing, and most of their members were putty in his hands. This, unfortunately, included Mark. Although by now, with how long they had been friends, it really shouldn’t.

“If the others heard you swearing like that, you’d be in so much trouble.” Mark deflects, not sure how to proceed. All Donghyuck was asking to go to the hot tub, so why was he being so weird about it?

Donghyuck, knowing this, doesn’t reply. He just sits there, his eyebrow slowly sliding higher, the curl of his lip lifting further. Mark feels his conscious slip before he’s sighing and locking his phone, dropping it on the bed beside him. “Okay, fine,” he says. “We’ll go to the hot tub.”

Mark watches as Donghyuck jumps off his bed to get ready, hastily rushing for his suitcase with a loud shout. Mark rolls his eyes and pretends like a little thrill doesn’t go through him too as he climbs off of his bed, stretching out his lanky arms and joining Donghyuck in rifling through his own suitcase. He’s so engrossed in doing so, finding the swim trunks that he’s sure he did pack and finding them after a good five minutes, that he didn’t even think about what Donghyuck was doing and turns to find a very half naked torso barely a foot away from him.

It shouldn’t affect him, but it does. Mark turns a little pink, coughing as he turns away again. Donghyuck was his best friend, but over the last year Mark’s thoughts had been a little less than innocent as he had watched Donghyuck slowly fill into his lanky frame. Muscles (although not big) visible where there had once been an absence in his arms, his thighs, even his stomach in the form of abs, and Mark would be lying if he hadn’t eyed the line of Donghyuck’s adonis belt before. There was also that damn deepening voice, because of course Donghyuck’s was perfectly husky and deep in the morning when his own cracked. Sure, he wasn’t that far ahead of his friend, and Mark knew they both still had some growing to go through, but he also knew he was more than eager to see exactly how Donghyuck fills out once he’s finished going through puberty.

Suddenly a little self-conscious, Mark escapes into the bathroom before he turns and sees Donghyuck fully naked this time. He keeps the shirt on that he had been wearing, a simple grey one underneath a black zip up hoodie and strips out of his sweatpants and underwear on before pulling on his board shorts. He’s not quite sure if he should be going naked underneath his board shorts, which is odd because usually he wouldn’t even think about it, but there is that moment of hesitation before Mark shakes his head and leaves his sweatpants and briefs in a pile on the floor before exiting the bathroom.

Donghyuck’s leaning against the bed, but he stands up once he sees Mark ready. He’s already got two towels, and so they exit the room and head towards the elevator. The outdoor pool area has a hot tub that’s hidden towards the back behind a fake forest, the tiles a bright sea blue that match the feeling of the wooden shelter over top of the hot tub. It’s that hot tub that they head for, on the ground floor, and the whole way Donghyuck bounces his foot until Mark is really tempted to tell the younger male to keep fucking still.

As Mark had previously thought, the lobby is empty apart from employees, and when they exit from the hotel into the pool area it’s completely empty out here too, meaning that they basically had the whole area to themselves. Seeing that, the two rush for the hot tub, a new kind of excitement building in Mark’s chest. aA Mark slides off his converse, Donghyuck throws their towels to the side and the two quickly step into the hot tub.

The hot water scorches Mark’s skin as he wades in, pushing out the air pockets that form in his board shorts. He settles onto the deep seats off to the right, the water hitting the middle of his chest, just covering his nipples. It’s not until he’s settled and brings his arms up to stretch out across the lip behind him that he looks up and realizes Donghyuck has taken a seat across the tub from him; far enough that Mark could just touch him with his big toe if he stretched a little. It’s a little odd that Donghyuck is so far away, but Mark doesn’t really put that much thought into it.

Donghyuck groans, “This is nice,” Mark ignores the stretch of Donghyuck’s throat as the sandy blond leans his head back against the lip of the tub, “so fucking nice.”

It’s odd hearing Donghyuck swear, but Mark isn’t going to complain. He makes an affirming noise low in his own throat and leans back similarly, just enjoying the feeling of the hot water, the bubbles, and the twin jets that are pressed on either side of his spine. It’s a really nice day, warm and kind of humid with no clouds in the sky, and the sun high in the blue stretch of sky. But there’s a pleasant breeze that dances along Mark’s skin and contrasts against the heat of the water, unsettling the dark brown locks of his hair.

He continues to sit there like that, just enjoying the moment, when suddenly a giggle alerts him to the fact that they were no longer alone. Mark open his eyes and immediately falls on a male and female together on the lounge chairs, stilling so that he can watch them quietly. It’s no big deal that they were there together really, and not something that would capture Mark’s attention for that long, but then suddenly the girl was rolling so that she was on top of the male before leaning down to capture her lips and Mark, well, Mark was instantly more interested than he had been a moment before.

Blame his hormones, blame the fact that he was going through puberty, but as the kiss between the couple started to get deeper and Mark sees the flash of tongue, accompanied by the deep roll of the girl’s hips as she grinds down on her boyfriend’s lap, Mark feels his cock fill; and Mark watches in awe as the male reaches up and places his hands on her ass and forces her to grind down on him harder. They obviously think they’re alone, probably not even aware he and Donghyuck were here, and Mark doesn’t have the presence of mind to feel bad about watching, not even when the male pulls back from the kiss and reaches up to slowly slide the girl’s bikini top apart and expose the girl’s tits.

Mark’s cheeks turn red, but it doesn’t stop the sound that escapes from low in his throat. Subconsciously he slides his hand over his crotch and feels it twitch, feels it filling with blood, and without really thinking about it he presses a hand down on himself as he admires the bounce of the girl’s breasts. He had never seen them in real life, only through very limited amounts of porn that he manages to sneak from the older members when they’re drunk, and so he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be the guy underneath the girl, to be able to touch them with his hands, to be able to lean forward and wrap a mouth around those perfectly peaked nipples.

“Fuck.” He curses underneath his breath.

“Fuck.” A much louder voice sounds from the other end of the hot tub and that’s when Mark remembers; he’s not alone.

Quickly he whips his head around, immediately locking eyes with Donghyuck. The boy looks like a mess, his cheeks bright pink and his pupils blown and dark, lips red from where Donghyuck had definitely been biting them far too fucking hard. It was obvious just by looking at him that he had been just as affected, if not worse, by the couple currently grinding in the lounge chair like they were alone; and when Mark spots movement underneath the water, his suspicions are confirmed.

Wanting to save Donghyuck some embarrassment he turns back to the couple only to find the guy standing by the lounge hair, hand reaches out for the girl to take, and (after tucking her breasts away) the girl takes it and they disappear inside to presumably go to their room and fuck.

With nothing left, Mark turns back to Donghyuck and finds the younger already looking at him. The flush on his cheeks is darker, presumably less from arousal and more from the fact that he had been caught in such an open, aroused state. Mark was a little embarrassed, a little more than just plain awkward, but there was no way he could leave right now with the bulge in his board shorts, one that he covers and then immediately regrets doing because Donghyuck’s gaze flicks down and follows the movement before he’s back to looking at Mark.

“That was,” Donghyuck starts suddenly, seeming to want to fill the silence between them more than anything, before he’s slouching a little and saying much slower, “something.”

Mark nods, “Y-yeah,” and shifts on the seat. Fuck, he was so hard, and this was so awkward, and all he wanted to do was go back to their room and fucking jerk off.

“I’ve never-“ Donghyuck starts, still not seeming to be thinking before speaking, but he seems kind of determined to say this. When he pauses Mark nods, encouraging him and trying to ignore the odd pressure in his chest. “You know, even kissed someone and those two-“ It’s odd to see Donghyuck like this, all pink cheeked, as he was generally the more confident kind of person. He was the one who used sarcasm and biting remarks and had a laugh that filled up the whole room; but Mark found this Donghyuck oddly attractive. The thought of Donghyuck being all innocent like that, like him, makes Mark’s cock twitch and fill more in the confines of his board shorts.

However, the fact that Donghyuck had never kissed anyone was news to Mark, which was really surprising considering that they were literally best friends and knew everything else about each other. He raises an eyebrow, trying not to sound as surprised (and hopeful and a little less turned on) as he was but he’s not sure if it comes across right when he chokes out a,

“Oh, uh, really?”

Donghyuck nods and seems to take that as cue to continue. “Have you, you know, ever-“

Mark’s mind, of course, immediately goes down the filthiest route but he tamps that down and asks, “Kissed someone?” God, this was so fucking awkward, but Mark wanted to know more, wanted to have this conversation, and wanted to know where this conversation might potentially go. Swallowing, Mark shakes his head, muttering, “No, I’ve never had the chance to try.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck doesn’t look perturbated, instead he looks interested as he sits up straighter in the hot tub with his pink cheeks and slightly glassy eyes, “really?”

“Mmmm,” Mark nods. A question is forming in the forefront of his mind, one that he was aware would either make this situation highly awkward no matter the answer, curiosity screaming at him to just take the chance and ask it. “Did you-“ Mark falters, mouth sticking to the roof of his mouth and he swallows around the lump in his throat, flicking his tongue out to lick across his dry lips. Donghyuck follows the movement, and in that second Mark decides to just come out with it, “Did you wanna try?”

Donghyuck, for a second, looks repulsed and Mark really thinks he’s fucked up, opening his mouth to apologize and promise that he’ll never bring it up and oh god, he couldn’t loose his best friend. But then Donghyuck’s expression loosens up and Mark watches as he goes from peach, to pink, to red, the color even reaching the tips of the younger males’ ears. “I mean,” he says finally as he looks up at Mark from under his eyelashes, biting absentmindedly at his bottom lip. “With you?”

“Yeah,” Mark says before he can stop himself, and then word-vomits the rest of his sentence. “I mean just as practice so that you know what you’re doing in the future, of course, I’m not gay or anything-“ He realizes how stupid he sounds as soon as the words come out of his mouth. Effectively, he’d just ‘no-homo’d’ Donghyuck, when really Mark had feelings for the younger that Mark didn’t even know he had. There’d be no point in divulging those feelings either, not right now, and so Mark tamps them down and waits for Donghyuck to reply.

Donghyuck nods his head and Mark effectively ignores how the red in Donghyuck’s cheeks and ears doesn’t seem to be going away. “O-oh yeah, I’m not either, but yeah, for practice we could try.”

Neither of them makes a move, not even after confirmation that they both want it. Mark pauses, not sure what was happening, but when Donghyuck just keeps looking at him expectantly Mark finally gives in and, ignoring the weird pressure in his chest, moves across the hot tub so that he’s sitting right beside Donghyuck. Being this close makes it a little more real, makes Mark realize that this was really happening, but still he oddly didn’t want to back down from this. A little belatedly he realizes he’s still hard, and that if Donghyuck’s hand moved anywhere near him he would definitely able to tell, and so Mark slowly moves his hand to cover himself underneath the water, resisting the urge to grind up into his palm, and hopes that Donghyuck doesn’t notice.

Ignoring the nervous bubble growing in his chest, Mark leans in, realizing that Donghyuck wasn’t going to be the one initiating this and that it was up to him. “I’m going to kiss you.” He says stupidly, like Donghyuck doesn’t realize that from him leaning in, his words barely audible in the space between them, their noses already brushing and when he’s this close Mark can count the freckles that span across Donghyuck’s cheeks.

“Y-yeah.” Donghyuck whispers, his hot breath fanning across Mark’s face.

Mark holds his breath, takes another inch, another push, and then their lips touch together. Donghyuck’s lips are plush, ever soft and yielding underneath his, and Mark lets out this stupid fucking gasp that he’s fairly sure he hears Donghyuck copy a second later, pushing in harder. Throughout his body, tingles erupt, but Mark tamps them down along with the groan in his throat as he kisses Donghyuck. It’s not much, just the press of their lips, and Mark desperately scrambles to remember how he had seen that couple kissing from not long ago, how he had seen the actors kissing.

He tilts his head, nose brushing along Donghyuck’s, and this time Mark isn’t able to keep back the sound that bubbles up his throat, noting how immediately better it feels like this, like they were kissing properly. Donghyuck responds well, pressing back against him, tilting his head the other way, and when Mark slowly begins opening his mouth the younger doesn’t pull away, he just makes this soft sighing nose and yields.

Testing the waters between them Mark hesitantly pushes out his tongue, tracing the line of Donghyuck’s lips, enjoying the warmth of kissing the younger male. However, all of that suddenly disappears and Mark opens his eyes, surprised, to find Donghyuck staring at him. At first Mark thought he had done something wrong, or grossed the younger out, but the pink of his cheeks and the hooded nature of his eyes, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, told Mark that maybe Donghyuck had enjoyed it, that maybe he hadn’t offended or grossed the younger male out at all.

Mark opens his mouth to ask what was wrong, to ask if Donghyuck wanted to stop, to apologize, but he doesn’t get the chance because the younger male is quickly opening his mouth and speaking over Mark.

“What was that?” he asks, eyebrows high.

Mark quirks an eyebrow, “My tongue?” had he done it wrong? He was sure that’s what the actors had done, and the same people on the seat over there.

That seems to take the wind out of Donghyuck’s sail, “Oh,” he says, and Mark doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck’s gaze flicks down to his lips and then back up, like he was afraid he was going to be caught, like they hadn’t been locking lips a second ago. “I- sorry.”

Mark shrugs, “It’s okay,” and then, throwing caution to the wind. “Did you wanna’ keep going? For practice, I mean.”

“Yes.” Donghyuck says a little quickly.

Still, it sends a throb of arousal through Mark’s body, making his cock throb and he presses his hand down on it a little. This time there’s only a second of hesitation before he’s leaning in again, titling his head to the side and pressing his lips against Donghyuck’s once more. Still, he’s slow in flicking out his tongue again, letting them both get used to having their lips pressed together. As Mark traces the seam of Donghyuck’s lips this time the younger doesn’t pull back, instead he lets out this soft moan as he opens his mouth (albeit kinda awkwardly) and allows Mark’s tongue in. He wants to reach out and touch so bad but he’s not sure if that was crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed, and so he keeps one over his crotch (hiding the bulge in his pants) and the other on his thigh.

Mark is just as hesitant, getting used to the push and pull of their lips and the inclusion of his tongue, not doing much more than just tracing the line of Donghyuck’s lip. Mark stutters halfway through the kiss and their lips meet at a much wider angle and Mark groans when he finds Donghyuck’s tongue meeting his own. They try again, accidentally nicking each other a couple of times and clacking their teeth together, but then they find the right angle and Mark’s whole body erupts in tingles, flicking his tongue eagerly against Donghyuck’s and hearing the younger male shakily huff. It’s messy and there’s absolutely spit on their chins, but Mark can’t help his own shaky sigh as Donghyuck’s tongue traces the cavern of his mouth and a familiar bloom of warmth starts in his lower stomach.

The subject of touching hadn’t been approached, and yet when Mark relaxes and leans into the kiss more their knees suddenly brush under the water. He half expects Donghyuck to spring away again, to turn around and tell him that he wants to stop, but nothing happens and Donghyuck continues to eagerly meet Mark’s tongue in the middle. Surely it wouldn’t too much to touch, would it? Surely Donghyuck wouldn’t mind if he touched his knee a little, or his thigh, it’s not like he minded either nor did it make them gay.

So, he tries. Slowly, like he’s trying not to startle an animal, Mark slides the hand off of his thigh to touch Donghyuck’s knee, and when nothing happens apart from a small stutter in their kissing, Mark continues. He slides his hand so that it’s sitting fully on Donghyuck’s knee, fingers digging in a little, but if anything, the sandy blond male just presses his knee into Mark’s hand. It gives Mark the encouragement to slide his hand a little higher, all the while pretending like he wasn’t, and the small breathy moan Donghyuck releases at the touch goes straight to his cock.

“Mark.” Donghyuck says suddenly against his lips, pulling back just enough to speak, their breaths mingling in the minimum amount of space between them. Mark thinks for a second that the sandy blond is going to continue his sentence, is going to say something enlightening or even better beg for Mark to touch him more, but instead what Mark gets is Donghyuck boldly climbing onto his lap so that he’s straddling Mark’s hips and Mark thinks for a split second that maybe he’s died and gone to heaven as Donghyuck immediately re-establishes their kiss, pushing their lips together with bruising force.

He’s sitting far enough away that their cocks don’t brush, and Mark thanks the heavens for that despite how much he’s kind of aching for touch, because he’s not sure if he could handle Donghyuck knowing how achingly hard he was at this point and definitely leaking pre-cum that was mixing with the water. Instead he accepts Donghyuck’s kiss, battling for dominance but right now neither were really winning, instead engaging in a heady heavy kiss full of sensation. Mark feels as though he’s going dizzy from the fog in his head created by the slide of their tongue, the press of their lips, and (when he’s feeling particularly brave) the bite on Donghyuck’s bottom lip that draws a shaky moan from the sandy blond’s throat.

Mark startles a little when Donghyuck’s hands, initially placed on the lip of the tub behind him, slide onto his shoulders before relaxing into it. It’s not like Donghyuck hasn’t had his hands there before, usually platonically of course, but just because they were kissing doesn’t mean it means anything Mark tells himself. He, however, is unsure of where he should place his own hands. Currently they were hovering in the water just over Donghyuck’s hips. If he had continued to try and cover himself it would have been far too suspicious, unsure if Donghyuck would allow him to actually place his hands there.

It’s when Donghyuck’s hands slide down a little, lying flat over Mark’s collarbones with his fingers digging in slightly, that Mark throws caution to the wind and places his hands on Donghyuck’s hips and is met with no rebuttal. Feeling a little more confident he slides his thumbs across the start of Donghyuck’s adonis belt and feels it when the sandy blond male shudders on top of him, taking it as encouragement to continue. Mark keeps stroking across the area slowly, reveling in the feeling of the soft skin underneath his fingers. Not being pushed away adds an extra burn to his stomach and pressure that’s quickly becoming more noticeable, and Mark wonders faintly if he’d be able to cum just from having Donghyuck on top of him, pliant and soft.

So far Mark had been careful not to let out any sounds, unsure if that would cross the line, but when Donghyuck’s hands slip (whether on purpose or not) and end up resting on his pecs he does let out a loud sound that reverberates through his chest, immediately regretting it and tensing up, waiting for Donghyuck to push him away, but is surprised when the sandy blond just matches the sound, moaning right back and Mark feels a surge of pining go through him.

Donghyuck’s hands slide back up his chest only for the sandy blond to then wrap his arms over Mark’s neck and entangle his digits into Mark’s black hair, bringing Donghyuck closer to his body. Mark’s head is swimming at this point, lost in the haze of pleasure and heat and the intoxicating push and pull of Donghyuck’s lips, the feeling of his tongue on Mark’s, and he groans and in the heat of the moment grips onto Donghyuck’s hips and pulls him closer so that their chests were touching; initially it was an amazing idea, the feeling of their skin together a goddamn blessing, but in the haze of his mind Mark had forgotten why he hadn’t wanted Donghyuck that far onto his lap in the first place.

Under the water their groins brush together because of the proximity, and Mark gets about half a second of bliss where the firm line of Donghyuck’s erection slides against his own and brings that delicious friction Mark hadn’t realized he had been so desperate for, bringing a wrecked sound of his and Donghyuck’s mouth; before everything catches up to the two boys and suddenly Mark’s lap is cold and empty as Donghyuck pulls away.

Mark opens his eyes to find Donghyuck across the hot tub from him, sitting in the same spot that Mark had been before. He’s red in the cheeks, in the ears, and partially down his chest but what gets Mark the most is the look in Donghyuck’s eyes. His pupils are huge, blown out and dark, glazed over and half-hooded from lust; his hair a mess too, ruffled and kind of an obvious give away as to what they had been up too. Mark is sure he looks the same though, in fact he’s positive. It’s the embarrassment apparent in Donghyuck’s expression a second later that gets him, the sandy blond having to look away as he reaches under the water and (very obviously) adjusts himself. Mark is in the same boat, still achingly hard, and feels the same burn of embarrassment in his cheeks and chest a second later. They hadn’t meant to get that carried away, all they had been doing was practicing kissing, and now Donghyuck knew (and he knew in return) just how hard they had both gotten from it; hell, they had practically been about to grind in each- others lap. Mark ignores the pang in his lower stomach at that thought, quickly brushing away thoughts of what all of this might have led too if they hadn’t stopped.

“Sorry,” Mark pants, although he’s not sure why he’s apologizing. “I didn’t mean-“

Donghyuck quickly shakes his head, “It’s fine,” he says, cutting over Mark. “Let’s just go back to the room, okay? I’m tired.”

Mark bites his lip, nodding instead of speaking, and surreptitiously adjusts himself under water too, trying not to let too much show on his face as he carefully tucks his erection into the waistband of his board shorts. Although it was no longer obvious, he had one if you looked, and the fact that Donghyuck had felt it a second ago kind of made it pointless. but Mark wasn’t about to walk through the hotel and up to his room with an obvious erection.

Slowly he exits the tub, walking behind Donghyuck and grabs his towel only to immediately wrap it around his waist. The walk back up to the hotel room is equally as silent, both boys lost in their own thoughts, and the only time Mark even remotely says anything is when their hands accidentally brush when they both reach for the button in the elevator and Donghyuck lets out this little gasp. The rest of the ride up, however, is spent on opposite sides of the elevator and when they exit onto their floor Mark is the first one out so that he doesn’t have to look at the goddamn pink of Donghyuck’s cheeks or the way the sandy blond keeps biting at his bottom lip.

Mark has the key card so he’s the first to unlock the door, muttering a, “I call first shower.” Normally Donghyuck would complain, but all Mark gets this time is a non-committal sound that he doesn’t get time to look back to check what it means. Mark hurries for his suitcase, grabbing whatever shirt, underwear and shorts he first finds, before quickly stepping around Donghyuck and hastily heading into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He undresses automatically, his mind miles away as he shimmies out of his board shorts and leaves them in a wet pile on the tiled floor. The water isn’t fully heated when he steps in, but Mark isn’t in the right mindset to care, standing in the full stream of the water with his head bowed as it slowly warms.

He really fucked up. He’d let their practice kissing go too far and now Donghyuck surely hated him for taking his first kiss away from him, for taking it too far, for getting hard. Sure, Donghyuck had gotten hard too, but all they had promised to do was kiss and Mark was half embarrassed that he had even been caught in that state. The other half of him, the half that Mark tries to tamp down, is kind of proud that he had managed to turn Donghyuck on, was proud that he had gotten Donghyuck to moan like that, and Mark voices his half displeasure half arousal in the form of tilting his head back and letting the water drown him for a good minute.

When he looks back down Mark takes himself in hand, pretending that he wasn’t really doing this, and lets the water guide his way with quick, firm strokes. It doesn’t take long, he had been hard before he and Donghyuck had started kissing, hard since they had watched that couple. But still, Donghyuck is all Mark thinks about as the pressure forms in his stomach and heat crackles in his veins. He strokes over the head, following the water as it travels down his cock and cums as he passes his thumb over the slit, canting his hips forward with Donghyuck’s name in his throat. He’s shuddering and shaking as he watches white explode from the tip of his cock, till he has to reach out and steady himself against the wall. He’s still twitching by the time the water catches up and he watches it wash the evidence down the drain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading, and please leave a kudos or a comment if you'd like ! I'm really glad to finally be posting this story as it was in production for so long. Chapters will be updated every two weeks due to my schedule and my beta's schedule, no specific time but my time zone is NZST so it may be posted at weird times for you ! Thank you once again for reading and supporting my work, I really appreciate it.


	2. Mixed Signals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter two for you all ! To be honest this fic took so long to finish that I think chapter 2 was actually written sometime last year, so I had to re-read through it just to familiarize myself - plus I feel like the difference between back then and the later chapters yet to be posted are so different so I'm really sorry if the writing is just .. weird hahah. Once again I hope you like the chapter, and thank you so much for reading and supporting my silly ideas.

The next morning they’re surprisingly OK. Mark wakes up at eleven, their flight back to South Korea not being until the evening and finds Donghyuck already sitting up in bed idly watching TV. He half expects Donghyuck to ignore him, half expects an awkward air between them after what had happened yesterday, but as soon as Mark stretches and makes it known he’s awake through a small groan (mainly because it’s goddamn bright in here with the curtains opens, making Mark blink rapidly against the light) Donghyuck turns to him with an arched eyebrow and a snarky smile.

“’Morning lazy ass.”

Mark doesn’t reply for a good minute, moving off his stomach so that he can turn and sit up, the covers bunching around his waist. He takes a moment to yawn and runs a hand through his messy hair before turning and replying to Donghyuck, his voice thick still with sleep,

“Mornin’.” He’s a little surprised that Donghyuck is talking to him so naturally, like nothing had transpired the day before, but he’s also definitely not going to bring it up. Instead he reaches for his phone, unlocking it to check twitter for the morning and see if any of the members had messaged him.

Donghyuck, apparently, is two steps ahead. “We’re meeting everyone in an hour and a half,” he says, and then when Mark looks back at him a little startled, adds, “It’s just for lunch, check out isn’t till like five.”

Thank god for small mercies because there was no way he would have been able to pack up all his stuff in an hour and a half. Instead he nods his head and drops his phone back down, not finding anything that exciting on it anyway, and nods absentmindedly, “Guess I better get dressed then.” He doesn’t look back at Donghyuck until he’s pushed back the covers, stood up and stretched. He reaches his hands up high towards the ceiling, a pleased groan escaping his throat, not noticing it when his tank top rides up to expose the flat line of his stomach.

When he does look back at Donghyuck though, after he’s finished stretching, the sandy blond male is looking at him with his mouth open. Mark quirks and eyebrow, wondering if Donghyuck wanted to say something, and asks,

“What?”

Donghyuck starts, shaking his head and hurriedly looking away. “No, nothing,” he says, “I Just zoned out. Go get dressed, I don’t wanna be late ‘cause of your ass.”

Mark bites back a scathing remark about his ass, instead rolling his eyes and muttering a, “Yeah, yeah.” He doesn’t need another shower, and he doesn’t think he can have another shower without thinking about what he did in there last night, but still Mark grabs his clothes for the day (trying not to wonder if Donghyuck is staring at his ass as he bends over) and heads into the bathroom to change. It’s not that he doesn’t like the idea of Donghyuck looking at him, but he can’t help but think after yesterday they need to cool it down a little, even if Donghyuck doesn’t seem like he’s going to bring it up.

-

The first instance in which something seems wrong is when Donghyuck doesn’t sit next to him at lunch. It’s no big deal, really, it’s not like they’re attached at the hip and Donghyuck is definitely allowed to talk to their other members, but it’s when Donghyuck doesn’t look at him for the entire meal that Mark can’t help but feel like something is wrong. There’s a second when Mark feels like he’s being watched, and when he turns he sees Donghyuck turn his head like it had been him, but nothing further happens and Mark turns back to his food more confused than ever.

Youngho seems to notice something is up because he leans in close, muttering in English because they both know they’re less likely to be overhead and understood if they’re away from the other members who also speak it. “Is something up with you and Donghyuck?” he asks, “He keeps looking at you.”

Ah, so it had been Donghyuck. “Yeah,” Mark replies hastily, nodding his head. “We’re fine, nothing is up.” The lie burns in his throat a little, and he kind of wishes he could tell Youngho what had happened because he was really one of the members Mark trusted the most, but there’s no way he could explain this and he also didn’t really want to potentially out Donghyuck or himself like that.

“OK,” Youngho says, but it’s obvious in his tone that he doesn’t believe Mark. “If you wanna talk I’m here though, yeah?”

Mark keeps his eyes on his food, “Yeah.”

The rest of the meal, Mark is hyperaware of Donghyuck and what he’s doing. Of course, he doesn’t actively catch the sandy blond looking at him, but the feeling that he’s being watched doesn’t disappear the whole time they’re sitting in the restaurant, so he assumes Donghyuck is still watching and waiting.

-

The second instance is later when they’re boarding the plane to fly back to South Korea. He’s tired and exhausted even though he had slept in till eleven in the morning, and so he’s not even thinking about who he might be sitting next to as he takes his window seat in first class, reaching into his bag for his headphones. All he plans to do for this flight is sleep, and so music was a priority to drown out the noise of the plane. He’s too busy scrolling through his music to try and decide what he wants to fall asleep too that he doesn’t notice when someone stops by his row. In fact, he doesn’t notice anyone there at all until he’s selected a song and has looked up again, seeing that someone is now sitting in the seat next to him.

“Hey.” Donghyuck offers, but he looks kind of awkward. Normally they would fight to be seated next to each other, mostly because it was just nice to travel next to someone who understood when he needed to be left alone but would also be willing to laugh and share music. But now Mark completely understood that awkwardness.

“Hey,” Mark pulls out an earphone, twisting the cord idly in his fingers. Donghyuck opens his mouth but doesn’t reply, and Mark feels this odd pressure in his stomach. The silence stretches a bit and they just continue to stare at each other, and although Mark knows this really isn’t the right time to try and talk about this, it might be the only chance they get to have half of a decent conversation before they’re interrupted. “Are we-“

“Good-evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to –“

So much for not being interrupted. Donghyuck turns and looks up like he’s oh so interested in what the captain was saying, and Mark knew that the conversation was lost. Ignoring the lump in his throat he puts his earbud in, ignoring the drone of the captain over the loudspeaker, and leans back in his seat. He would wait until they were back in the dorm to set things right, to make sure that Donghyuck didn’t fucking hate him and that he hadn’t completely messed up their friendship. Suddenly feeling tired beyond his years Mark closes his eyes, quickly falling asleep.

-

Despite them not having a schedule to get back to for a least another two weeks, meaning they still had lots of free time, Donghyuck still manages to find numerous ways to stay out of Mark’s way, or to make sure that Mark can’t find him not for want of trying. He gets the message after a couple of days of Donghyuck refusing to be in the room alone with him and escaping whenever that was a possibility, sometimes leaving even though there were other people in the room too. He especially gets the message when he goes looking for Donghyuck in places where the other members say he is only to never find him. Mark isn’t sure if that’s because the others are in cahoots with Donghyuck, or if the sandy blond is just moving around a lot, but either way there doesn’t ever seem to be a moment when they can be alone or when Donghyuck isn’t running away from him.

If anything, it just makes Mark’s guilt worse. He’s convinced by the end of the week that Donghyuck hates him, that there’s no way he still wants to be friends with Mark anymore, and it gets so bad that he starts losing sleep over it. The other members notice his mood dropping, notices how quiet and almost subdued Mark is because the black-haired male was often lost in thought about the whole situation, but whenever Mark is asked, he fakes innocence and says that nothing is wrong.

When Donghyuck does finally come to him, it’s out of the blue.

Mark’s up late again, lying back on his bed with one arm under his head and his other arm over his stomach, hand resting over his stomach, staring up at the ceiling like it has the secrets of the universe but really he’s just deep in thought about this entire situation. Around him the dorm is quiet as everyone went to bed hours ago, but the silence only serves to make Mark’s thoughts louder. He’s tempted to play some music, or even play a game, just to get out of his head for a second, yet he makes no move to and just continues to lie there wallowing in his own thoughts.

When the door opens suddenly Mark jumps, not expecting anyone to be coming in as Doyoung had said he’d be sleeping somewhere else for the night. He sits up, desperately trying to peer through the dark to see who it was but so far all he can make out is the dark shape of a person.

“Hello?” he whispers, “Yukhei, I swear to god if you’re fucking with me.”

The person steps into the square of moonlight on the floor, he had kept his curtain open so he could stare at it, and Mark’s heart thuds painfully in his throat. It’s Donghyuck, looking sheepish and kind of small in his grey hoodie (hood up and covering his head) and his black basketball shorts. Everything Mark had been planning on saying to whoever it had been, as well as what he had been planning on saying to Donghyuck once they were finally face to face again, suddenly disappears from his mind and leaves him staring blankly at the sandy blond with his mouth open.

“Hey,” Donghyuck says. He steps forwards quietly and takes a spot at the end of Mark’s bed, crossing his legs underneath of himself. Mark copies the position, leaning forward slightly. Donghyuck looks like he hadn’t slept in years, dark circles apparent underneath his eyes, and Mark realizes for the first time that maybe Donghyuck had been just as affected about all of this as he had been. “How’re you?”

Mark shrugs, “Fine.” Biting his lip at the lie.

Donghyuck nods but falls silent. Mark fall silent too, a thousand words bubbling up his throat, waiting to be said, but still he says nothing. It seems like Donghyuck is in the same boat, wanting to say something but also not sure what to say. In the end they just sit there and stare at each other, both waiting for the other to go first, before finally Mark has finally had enough and throws caution to the wind.

“I-“ he starts at the same time Donghyuck says,

“We-“

Both pause, opening and closing their mouths, waiting for the other person to start.

“You go.” Donghyuck finally says.

Mark nods, despite not really wanting to be the one to start but recognizing that if he doesn’t go first there’s a likelihood that nothing would happen if he didn’t. “I’m sorry,” he keeps his gaze downwards on the duvet just in front of Donghyuck, not able to look at the sandy blond right now. “If- if I made you uncomfortable or something. I didn’t mean to do that, and I’m sorry if you-“ fuck, this was fucking hard. Mark forces the pressure back in his chest, picking at a loose thread at the sleeve of his own black hoodie, “If you hate me or something.”

“Hate you?” Donghyuck repeats so fast it’s almost like Mark has an echo. “Why would I hate you?”

Mark looks up and meets Donghyuck’s gaze, confused, “I don’t know,” he says, “I pushed you too far and crossed a line, or something, and I didn’t mean too.”

“Mark,” Donghyuck shakes his head, looking ever his age. “I don’t hate you.”

If there was ever a better sensation than an orgasm, it would be the instant relief Mark feels when he hears those words from Donghyuck’s mouth. Instantly he feels a thousand times better, feeling more relaxed and like he was actually alive rather than the shell he was before. That relief, however, is short lived as more questions bubble up and out of his throat.

“Then why were you ignoring me? I thought I had really fucked up.”

Now it was Donghyuck who looked down first. “I didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just a little overwhelmed,” the younger male confesses after a moment, picking at a thread in the duvet below him. “Sure we were just practicing, and it’s not like what we were doing was real or anything, and I’m definitely not gay, but it was just a lot all of a sudden and then you were -,” he pauses, throat bobbing as he swallowed, “and I –.” He shakes his head unable to continue, but Mark gets the gist.

“I understand,” Mark says, sensing Donghyuck’s discomfort. “You don’t need to say it.”

Donghyuck nods, and Mark takes that as the end of the conversation, but then Donghyuck looks up again and says so quickly that Mark almost misses it. “I don’t want to stop, though.”

Mark blinks, “Huh?” he asks, wondering if he heard that right. “What did you say?”

The expression Donghyuck gives him is almost pained. “I don’t,” He starts slowly as his picking at the duvet only gets faster and faster. “I don’t want to stop what we were doing? I still don’t really know how to kiss, so we should continue what we were doing? If you’re okay with it, of course, if you’re not I can leave and go throw myself off a cliff because fuck this is embarrassing and I-“

“Donghyuck,” Mark says, shutting him up immediately. “Talk slower, I’m not going to bite.”

It’s almost comical the way Donghyuck nods, gasping for air like he was a marathon runner. The picking comes back, but slower, as he obviously becomes more relaxed. “I was just saying I think we should continue with this and maybe mess around a little?” he suggests, and Mark ignores the way his heart thuds at those words, wordlessly motioning for Donghyuck to continue with a nod. “Like, I don’t wanna cum in my pants just from kissing, or a little grinding, so maybe we should mess around? Build up stamina and stuff for when we get girlfriends? And it’s not like you’re not in the same boat, so it could be beneficial for us both.” By the time Donghyuck finishes he manages to look up, his signature mischievous smile back in place and Mark immediately knows they’re cool again.

“Stamina huh?” Mark asks, arching an eyebrow. On the inside his heart continues to try and break out through his ribcage at thought of what Donghyuck was implying, but he doesn’t let that show nor does he dwell on it.

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow too, “Oh please,” he says, “Don’t pretend like your ass isn’t as much a virgin as mine is.”

Once again Mark has a comment about that, and once again he bites it back. “OK,” he gives in. There’s no way he could lie anyway because he’s literally told Donghyuck before that he is a virgin and there was no way he would have had time to no longer be a virgin since the time he had told Donghyuck that. “That’s fair.”

That gets a laugh out of Donghyuck, an honest laugh and it makes Mark feel warm inside because it had been all too long since he had heard his best friend laugh, let alone talk to him.

“So that’s a yes?” Donghyuck asks.

“Yeah, sure.” Mark replies easily, leaning back on his hands and glancing at the clock beside his bed. It’s almost fifteen past two now and Mark knows he won’t be tired for a while, and with that thought he turns back to Donghyuck and asks, “Do you wanna try again now?” he’s not sure where the initial confidence comes from, but it quickly disappears, leading to Mark quickly adding, “Just ‘cause I don’t know when we’ll be left alone next, yeah? It makes sense.” His statement is full of holes, mainly because they’re still free from schedules right now meaning that they potentially had a lot of time free, all they had to do was find an empty room with a lock and an alibi.

Donghyuck, probably knowing this too, still nods and says, “Sure.”

Mark tells himself the way his heart throbs doesn’t mean anything. He watches Donghyuck move, a little surprised that he was making the first move but ultimately into it, onto his hands and knees before crawling up the bed; what he did not expect, however, was for Donghyuck to bypass the space Mark makes between his legs as he tugs his legs out from underneath himself and instead take the space on Mark’s lap so that Donghyuck was straddling Mark’s thighs.

“Is this OK?” Donghyuck asks and god, he’s already so close, his warm breath fanning across Mark’s face, “We’ve already done just kissing so I thought- I mean, no homo, right? We’re just-“

“Donghyuck,” Mark says, “It’s fine.”

Nodding, Donghyuck visibly relaxes, but adds, “If we go too far just say stop and we’ll stop.”

Mark can agree with that, but the thought of them going even remotely further than kissing still sends some thrill of excitement through him. “You too.”

He doesn’t end up having to initiate things this time, because Donghyuck quickly leans in and suddenly they’re kissing again. They quickly go past just pressing their lips together to kiss, Donghyuck licking across the seam of his lips, and Mark quickly allows the younger male entrance and lets Donghyuck take charge. Absently he feels Donghyuck’s hands find his shoulders again and resists the urge to snigger at the parallels of now and of them in the hot tub, not giving it a second thought before he’s placing his own hands on Donghyuck’s hips.

Unsurprisingly, Mark is quick to feel a familiar pool of warmth in his lower stomach. Donghyuck still isn’t straddling him fully, siting so that he’s more on Mark’s upper thighs than sitting directly in his lap, but Mark doesn’t want to push it just yet by pulling Donghyuck properly into his lap so that their groins will be touching. He’s still a little awkward at the thought of Donghyuck knowing if he was hard, of Donghyuck feeling his erection, but still the thought of Mark himself knowing he’s turned Donghyuck on to the point where the younger male was hard is enough for Mark to feel a familiar surge of arousal.

They have to be quiet because they’re in a dorm full of other people, and if Mark doesn’t want to be overheard masturbating he definitely didn’t want to be overheard fooling around with Donghyuck. But still, it doesn’t keep back the groan that escapes from him as he pushes his own tongue together and Donghyuck slides them together. Donghyuck seems to take that as a cue because he lets out his own shaky little moan and slides his hands down Mark’s chest till they’re over his pecs, pressing their upper bodies closer. At this point all Mark would have to do was tilt his legs up higher and Donghyuck would fall into his lap, but he resists.

Mark finds that Donghyuck touching his chest makes his own member stir, heat in his lower stomach as he throws caution to the wind. He places his own hands on Donghyuck’s hips, now they really were paralleled from the hot tub, but quickly pushes his thumbs underneath Donghyuck’s hoodie and shirt to find hot flesh. Mark really does expect, for a second, that Donghyuck will still push him away (because this was still slightly too good to believe), but when he doesn’t Mark explores further. He pushes his whole hands underneath Donghyuck’s hoodie until he’s touching skin with all five fingers, gripping slightly at Donghyuck’s hips, and feels his cock throb because wow, he was really touching Donghyuck like this and it was really turning him on.

He grips tighter and takes charge of the kiss, overpowering Donghyuck as his hands wrap around the sandy blond’s waist. God, he really was tiny, a perfect fit in Mark’s lap, and Mark feels a surge of dominance come over himself as Donghyuck lets out a shaky moan and presses himself into the kiss, allowing Mark to explore the cavern of his mouth. In Mark’s shorts, his cock fills with blood, twitching and throbbing as it quickly hardens -- and while he’s not achingly hard, Mark knows for sure he’s already leaking pre-cum that’s probably staining the inside of his own basketball shorts.

It’s then, with that dominance still in his veins, that Mark growls into the kiss and it’s loud enough that it reverberates through his chest. He presses forwards into the kiss, back leaving the wall behind him, almost like he was going to flip them so that Donghyuck was lying flat on the bed and when Donghyuck moans in response Mark wonders if he thinks Mark was going to too, filing that away for later under ‘possible things that turn Lee Donghyuck on’.

Donghyuck takes control back, lifting himself on his knees as he slides his hands up onto Mark’s shoulders and pushes the black-haired male back against the wall. It’s hot, seeing Donghyuck taking some control back, and Mark suddenly decides that he wants Donghyuck as close as possible or nothing at all. In one movement he tugs at Donghyuck hips and yanks him into his lap, twin moans escaping both boys’ lips as their groins meet and they grind together.

“Fuck,” Mark husks, “Oh shit.” It’s a hundred, no, a thousand times better than Mark could have ever imagined, to have Donghyuck on his lap and grinding against him, creating the friction that Mark had apparently been more desperate for than he had realized as his cock only grows harder. He can feel Donghyuck’s cock against him, a firm shape against his hip when Donghyuck moves a little too far forward and finds that the sandy blond is just as turned on as he is.

Donghyuck pulls back just enough to be able to gasp, “Is this OK?”

“Y-yeah,” Mark groans back. “Just- “ he shifts Donghyuck again, manhandling the younger male, till their hips were aligned and their groins were firmly pressed together, and the two let out twin groans again, “Move?”

As someone who had never been touched by anyone but his own hand, the feeling of Donghyuck slowly beginning to grind against him was already a lot. Surprisingly Donghyuck was good at grinding down on his lap, finding a slow but firm pace of searing heat and friction, one that dragged their cocks together in a long line and then back again, and Mark has a sneaking suspicion that maybe Donghyuck had had some practice under his belt but he sure wasn’t complaining.

Donghyuck’s hands slide back down to Mark’s chest to brace himself as he grinds a little harder, a little deeper. Mark’s body is hot with arousal, a flush in his cheeks that reaches to the tips of his ears and disappears below the neckline of the tee-shirt he was wearing. There’s no way he was going to last long, this was his first time getting any kind of friction on his cock that wasn’t his own hand, and there’s heat in his veins, pressure in his stomach.

Experimentally he bucks up too and this time it’s Donghyuck who pauses, hips stuttering as he breaks the kiss and lolls his head back, letting out a loud moan. It doesn’t really make it any easier on Mark, in fact the added movement only makes Mark’s orgasm grow faster in his abdomen, but the tanned line of Donghyuck’s throat and the way he bites his lip, the flutter of his eyelashes on the high arches of his cheekbones, will be forever ingrained in Mark’s mind and makes it worth it. He pushes his hips up again and now Donghyuck tilts his head back down, finding Mark’s gaze and the lust in his dark pupils sends a thrill through Mark, making his cock throb.

“Fuck, Mark,“ Donghyuck groans, “Again, come on, please.”

Mark groans back, “Fuck.” And works his hips. The two start out a pace, shaky to start with as they try and get their hips to meet in the middle, before they finally find it and Mark grips harder at Donghyuck’s hips to keep himself in check. It doesn’t work, the pace soon turning desperate with the two of them rolling their hips together to chase their orgasms more than to please each other. Mark forgets, he does, that the whole point of this was that so they didn’t cum in their shorts like teenagers, but the friction is so good and Mark is already too far gone and when Donghyuck lolls his head back and lets out another moan Mark chases the glimpse of Donghyuck’s collarbone and firmly attaches his lips too it.

The moan Donghyuck lets out is delicious, and suddenly it’s not enough, Donghyuck isn’t close enough. Without thinking Mark’s hands slip from the sandy blond’s hips and down to his ass, gripping at the taut skin hard enough that he’s undoubtedly left imprints of his fingertips, maybe even marks that will be there a day later; and, amazingly, Donghyuck doesn’t push him away, instead he just pushes back against Mark’s touch. Like this it’s easier to control Donghyuck’s movements, forcing the younger male back and forth at a desperate speed, fueling the pressure and the heat that crackles throughout his veins and into his abdomen until Mark is ready to sob against Donghyuck’s collarbone because fuck, he’s already so fucking close.

“Oh fuck,” Donghyuck says, “I’m-“

Mark just grips harder, aggressively manhandling Donghyuck so that he can grind their cocks together and jumps to instead attack the tanned line of Donghyuck’s throat, sucking purple and red blossoms into his skin. He’s losing the pace now, stuttering and starting but keeping at the same bruising pace till he’s dizzy with pleasure, head spinning, not able to do much more than groan against Donghyuck’s neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gets kind of feral towards the end, biting down on Donghyuck’s neck as the pressure rises and rises until it’s uncomfortable, until the heat rises to the point where Mark feels like he’s got an active volcano in his veins, and with one more forceful pull of Donghyuck’s hips he’s burying his face into the space between the sandy blond’s shoulder and neck and cumming harder than he ever had in his life.

In the back of his mind he acknowledges that Donghyuck cums too, but he’s too busy blinking at the white spots behind his eyes and shuddering, rolling his hips through his orgasm until it’s too much, too much, too much. He’s so oversensitive that it hurts, that the press of Donghyuck against him burns but he’s still so tense, so tense that he stays buried half into Donghyuck’s body as she shudders and rides out his orgasm, eyes screwed shut. After what feels like years, Mark finally slumps backwards, back hitting the wall a little too hard and making an audible thump, sweat visible on his forehead and neck, prickling underneath his armpits, still shaking a little but otherwise completely spent and exhausted.

Donghyuck follows a second later, and Mark suddenly finds himself with an arm full of very tired and very heavy young adult who copies Mark’s position from earlier and presses his face into Mark’s neck. it’s oddly comfortable, and pleasantly warm, and now Mark was sleepy and sated from his orgasm. In the back of his mind he knows they should really get up and clean themselves otherwise they would have a mess on their hands in the morning, but exhaustion was currently winning and the longer Mark lay there the heavier his eyelids became, the smoother his breathing becomes, and slowly Mark drifts off to sleep; Donghyuck following him close behind.

When they’re caught like that in the morning, pictures are taken. Teasing follows until eventually everyone has had enough, and they slowly trickle out. Mark, who had been awoken to the sound of camera sounds, shakes Donghyuck awake and prays that the heat he was still feeling in his cheeks wasn’t apparent in the pictures because there is definitely still dried cum in his basketball shorts. He really has no idea how any of the other members hadn’t thought anything of the position they were in; but ultimately thanks whoever was listening that they were all so goddamn dense.

“Oh ow, fuck,” Donghyuck groans once he’s awake and he tries to get off Mark, looking down at his crotch and then back up at Mark only to hit the black-haired male on the chest. “Why did you let us go to sleep after that? Now I need to try and get out of these shorts without pulling out half my pubes.”

“What pubes?” Mark teases. It’s not worth it though, because Donghyuck can (apparently) hit a lot harder than it looks like he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading ! please a kudos or a comment if you want too. I'm so happy that this fic is finally being published because I was writing it for such a long time. Chapters will be updated every two weeks on a Tuesday, no specific time but my time zone is NZST so it may be at weird times depending on where you are in the world.


	3. Hands on approach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya ! I just wanted to pop in and thank everyone for reading and commenting and leaving kudos over the past weeks, you're all great. The beta for this chapter took a little longer than usual because I (apparently) must have written this chapter very late at night and there was a lot that didn't make sense - but we got there in the end ! 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy chapter three !

Things get a little harder after that. After reconciling, the fact that they weren’t ignoring each other anymore was being picked up on by all the other members, everyone seemed to want to include them in on doing things together again. Whether it was watching a movie, going grocery shopping, or going out for any kind of meal, they never seemed to get a moment alone. Plus, Doyoung returned to sleeping in his and Mark’s shared room rather than sleeping wherever he had been, meaning that Donghyuck couldn’t stay the night in his room anymore.

However, that doesn’t mean they don’t try.

Mark sets his alarm extra early one morning, using headphones to make sure that it doesn’t alert Doyoung and wake the older male up. What follows next are possibly the quietest maneuvers that Mark had ever managed in his life. He pushes back his covers, pressing a hand against his mouth to keep his yawn as quiet as possible and touches his feet to the ground before standing. There’s floorboards that creak in his room that, after years of living here, Mark knows how to avoid and he thanks the fact that he knows which ones to avoid when he’s at his bedroom door and is quietly twisting the doorknob, opening the door just enough to slip through and then shutting it behind him just as quietly. Once he was outside Mark lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, taking a second to brush back some locks of hair that had fallen into his eyes before starting off across the apartment to where Donghyuck’s room is. Donghyuck’s roommate is out early this morning for solo schedule, and so Mark has no fear of being caught as he opens the door to Donghyuck’s room and steps inside.

He turns and finds Donghyuck lying on his back on the bed, one arm over his head and the other on his shoulder with his legs sprawled. Shaking his head, Mark crosses the room, not bothering to keep quiet because no one was likely to hear unless he was super loud, and climbs onto the bed, moving over Donghyuck and into the space between him and the wall. For a second, he wonders how he’s going to wake the younger male up, but as soon as he lies down and slides an arm over Donghyuck’s chest, the sandy blond male startles and wakes.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asks when he’s opened one eye, blinking at the light coming through the curtain. His voice his so husky and deep that it sends an odd surge of _something_ through Mark’s veins. “What’re you doing here?”

Mark shrugs, “We haven’t had a minute alone in a bit, so I thought we could practice a little.” As he says it Mark realizes how it sounds and feels kind of silly, ready for some kind of rebuttal. It really was too early to propose ‘practicing’ as they call it, although maybe Mark was starting to think of it something more subconsciously (as in he hadn’t even realized it himself).

Donghyuck chuckles, “Is that Mark Lee being horny on main?”

“Shut up,” Mark hits him, “I can leave.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, muttering, “No homo, right?”

“Yeah,” Mark nods, swallowing heavily. “No homo.”

Making a non-committal noise in his throat, Donghyuck tilts his head down and presses their lips together, quickly sliding his tongue out to ask for permission into Mark’s mouth. Both males are aware they’re short on time, and so Mark doesn’t waste time in pressing his hand against Donghyuck’s stomach over his shirt. They hadn’t gotten past the grinding and cumming in their pants, but Mark was no longer shy about touching Donghyuck above the waist without having to ask permission first, so he has no qualms in quickly pushing up Donghyuck’s shirt and instead pressing his hand to the sandy blond’s bare stomach.

Things quickly get heated, and when Donghyuck presses a knee between Mark’s legs it becomes apparent how hard he already was. Mark was just about to reciprocate, hand slowly starting its descent over the waistband of Donghyuck’s waistband to cup him over his sleep shorts, Donghyuck letting out a shaky moan as Mark’s fingers get closer and closer, when suddenly a loud knock on the door has the two springing apart like they had been burnt.

“Donghyuck?” Taeyong doesn’t bother knocking further, and Mark watches in mute horror as the doorknob twists and the door swings open, remembering in the last second to shut his eyes and feign sleep but he manages in just enough time that Taeyong doesn’t notice he’s awake; Mark can only hope that their positions aren’t too suspicious, his hand is back to bring pressed against Donghyuck’s stomach and although he’s lying on his own stomach Donghyuck’s knee is still between his legs too, as he listens in too their conversation.

“Oh, you are awake. Are you OK? I thought I heard you moving around.”

Donghyuck’s voice comes, low and husky, chest reverberating underneath Mark’s cheek. “Yeah, it was Mark coming in here complaining about Doyoung snoring,” Donghyuck lies easily, faking a yawn like he had just been woken up again by Taeyong, and the sleep present in his voice his pretty darn convincing. “I’m not ready to get up yet though, and I’m pretty sure Mark isn’t either.”

Mark doesn’t need to be looking to know that Taeyong is nodding, “That’s fair enough, it’s only six in the morning.” He hears Taeyong say. “I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

Mark waits until he hears the door shut again before he opens his eyes, peering over at the door just to make sure that Taeyong really had gone. When he sees that he had Mark lets out a sigh of relief and turns back to Donghyuck, the corner of his lip curling up, “That was close.” He says, “At least no one thinks it’s weird we share a bed.”

“Yeah, because that’s not something to be concerned about.” Donghyuck replies sarcastically.

Mark’s about to ask if Donghyuck wants to continue, or sleep, when he hears multiple voices from outside the door in the common area, immediately letting out a sigh. They couldn’t continue if the others were up already, knocking wasn’t always a given and really anyone could barge in, not to mention that Mark couldn’t promise he could be quiet if Donghyuck actually touched is dick, and he was sure Donghyuck wouldn’t be able to be quiet either if he touched the younger males’ cock either. Donghyuck seems to come to a similar conclusion, shaking his head and muttering a quiet,

“Next time.”

Mark wants to complain, mostly because he’s still half chubbed in his shorts, but settles for lazily kissing (all practice of course), until they hear too many people outside to comfortably continue what they were doing without being caught; instead heading out into the communal area to have breakfast together.

-

The next opportunity doesn’t present itself until four days later, three nights of Mark quietly touching himself underneath the blankets, turned away from Doyoung and trying his best not to moan. He doesn’t moan Donghyuck’s name, he’s not gay, but he doesn’t stop himself from allowing thoughts of Donghyuck’s fingers around his cock and the younger males’ lips pressed against his own; because that’s okay, that’s what he had experienced so far, apart from Donghyuck actually touching his cock rather than them just grinding against each other.

It’s still a break so not everyone is here in the SM building, but Mark, along with some of the others, are down here in the practice rooms and studios that everyone gets to use. Mark himself is using one of those studios working on some solo songs, stuff that he’s sure will never see the light of day for a while yet but still and is so focused on his music with noise cancelling headphones over his ears that he doesn’t hear the knock on his door.

The sudden touch on Mark’s shoulder makes him jump almost a foot in the air. Mark whirls around, hands raised like he was going to hit whoever it was, but he quickly loses his gusto when he sees Lucas standing there, hands raised and palms out in a sign of surrender. Mark pushes his headphones off of his head, letting them rest around his neck, and leans back in the seat with a loud sigh, “Don’t scare me like that, Xuxi. What is it?”

“Sorry,” Yukhei says, but the grin on his lips tells another story. “Anyway, we’re all leaving now to go eat, do you wanna come? We asked Donghyuck too, but he said no.”

Initially Mark had been about to say fuck yes, because who said no to potentially free food, but as soon as he heard that Donghyuck was here that died on his lips. This could be his chance, and so Mark shakes his head and motions towards the computer where his work was displayed, “Nah, I think I’m gonna stay and work a little more. Thanks though.” He even half turns back to the computer, like he really was that focused on his work.

Yukhei seems to buy it because he just nods, “That’s fine, see ya.” He says, waving over his shoulder as he turns and exits the small studio. As soon as the door closes Mark pulls of his headphones and peers at the clock on his computer, tapping his foot impatiently. He needed to wait at least five minutes just to make sure everyone was gone, because sometimes it really did take that long for bags to be grabbed, jackets to be put on, and shoes to be toed on, and every minute feels like fucking torture as Mark leans over his desk and watches them tick by.

In the end he only manages four minutes. Wiping his palms on his sweats, Mark slowly opens the door just enough to peer out to make sure the cost was clear, sighing in relief when he doesn’t see any of the members in the hall. Last time he had checked Donghyuck was in one of the studios further down working on his singing, backed up by the fact that Mark can hear someone singing down the hall, and follows the noise. He’s careful not to run into anyone, from his group or otherwise, and when he eventually comes to stop outside the studio in mention Mark does a quick sweep, trying not to think how suspicious he probably looks on the security cameras (though all anyone was likely to think was that he was pulling a prank) and twists the doorknob to step inside.

As soon as he’s in, the door shut back behind him, the music cuts out. He turns and finds Donghyuck staring at him through the glass of the recording booth, one eyebrow cocked and mouth opening like he was going to speak, but Mark just shakes his head and foregoes heading to the desk to use the communications button. Instead he heads for the door to the recording studio, opening the door, but before he gets to speak Donghyuck says,

“Yes, how can I help you Mark?” The sarcasm in his tone is obvious, and the line of his raised eyebrow proves a point, and suddenly every reason Mark had for being here died in his throat. It was kind of weird going out of his way just to come in and mess around, maybe Donghyuck would think he was weird and wouldn’t want to continue with all of this with him.

Mark brushes a hand through the short hairs at the nape of his neck, ignoring how hot his face suddenly feels, “Well, everyone else has left,” he says slowly, trying to word his sentence in a way that wouldn’t make what he was propositioning that weird, “So I thought- I mean, we haven’t had a minute alone for almost a week to practice so I-.”

Donghyuck, bless his heart, is already four steps ahead but seems to just live to watch Mark suffer because he lets the black-haired male continue to stutter until Mark eventually gives up trying to explain. “Mark,” he says, beckoning the black-haired male with his finger and Mark feels his heart thud in his chest. “Come here.”

“Fuck you,” Mark says, but steps into Donghyuck’s space all the same. There’s barely enough room in the tiny recording booth, but they manage with the space given, with Donghyuck pressed against the wall and Mark pressed against him in turn. They’re slightly more hidden like this too because the booth extends past the window, so if anyone came in and only gave a brief glance, they would easily miss the two.

The slide of Donghyuck’s lips against his own feels like home Mark notes quickly and then just as quickly represses, instead focusing on sliding a leg between Donghyuck’s as their mouths open and their tongues slide together. Both boys are more than aware of the time limit and are also both aware of how far they want to go, but that still doesn’t stop Mark from pausing and pulling back so that he can speak, one hand on Donghyuck’s hip and the other pausing in its slide down Donghyuck’s adonis belt.

“Can I touch you?” Mark’s voice is deep with arousal as he digs his fingers in, feeling the fold created by Donghyuck’s growing arousal in his jeans even though Mark hadn’t touched him yet. 

Donghyuck quickly replies, “Yeah.” And pulls Mark back to him with a hand wrapped around the back of the black-haired male’s neck, his fingers digging in as he deepens the kiss and the moan he makes when Mark’s hand slides closer yet to his growing bulge reverberates in Donghyuck’s chest. Despite the time limit Mark still plays a little, moving closer and then sliding his hand back, but when Donghyuck growls and bites at his bottom lip suddenly (the pang of pain quickly turning to pleasure, searing through Mark’s veins) that Mark gives that up and starts down, down, down-

“Mark? Donghyuck?”

Mark pulls away like he had been burnt, head whipping towards where the door would be through the wall. He looks back to Donghyuck, bringing a finger up and pressing it up against the sandy blond’s lips, before he quickly reaches up to mess with his hair and fix his hoodie where it had ridden up, takes a quick breath, before quickly stepping into view of the door through the window. In the doorway stands Taeyong, and as soon as he sees Mark standing there his eyebrows furrow, very clearly looking Mark up and down.

He, apparently, decides its more trouble than what it was worth to ask what Mark had been doing. To stop Taeyong from entering the studio and coming and opening the recording booth door, in which he would definitely see Donghyuck, Mark quickly crosses the small space and opens the door, shivering at the sudden influx of cold air against his heated face and keeping his hips carefully angled behind the door-frame.

“Hey,” Mark says in what he hopes is a casual voice, but his voice cracks a little and he has to clear his throat before speaking again, “what’s up?”

Taeyong rises an eyebrow, his gaze flicking towards the window of the studio before flicking back. Mark is pretty sure that Donghyuck would be smart enough to stay out of view, so he relaxes a little, leaning further against the door and looking at Taeyong inquisitively when the older male looks back at him.

“Nothing,” says Taeyong. “the managers just say we can’t leave you guys down here without supervision, so either you come with me or you face a starving Yukhei. Your choice.”

Mark winces at the thought. Yukhei when he was hungry was not a pretty sight, and so he quickly concedes. “Okay, I’ll be there in a sec.”

Taeyong smiles, “Awesome,” he turns like he’s about to leave, but looks back at Mark at the last second, the corner of his lip turned up in an expression Mark doesn’t quite understand. “And could you tell Donghyuck if you see him? I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Sure,” Mark hopes the nervous grin on his lips isn’t telling, “I’ll tell him if I see him.”

Mark waits until the door is shut behind Taeyong, counting to five to make sure that he would be far enough down the hall that he wouldn’t hear Mark, nor could he turn around and surprise them, before turning and finding Donghyuck pressed against the wall with one hand pressed against his mouth and the other pressed against his crotch. It sparks a fire within Mark, but he quickly tamps that down because now really wasn’t the time now that they had just almost been caught.

“That was far too close,” Says Mark, breaking the silence. “If he had found us-“

Donghyuck nods a solemn, “Yeah,” but then shakes his head, reaching up to fix his hair and clearly not wanting to talk about it any further. “Come on, we better go before they send out a search party.”

Mark nods, silently agreeing, and turns back towards the door, hearing Donghyuck hesitate a second before beginning to follow him too. Just before Mark opens the door into the hallway, he fixes his clothes a little better and hastily pushes a hand into his jeans to tuck his member into the waistband, before pushing open the door and stepping into the hallway. Out here Mark puts on a neutral expression, like he hadn’t had Donghyuck’s tongue in his mouth a second ago, but that doesn’t stop both boys quietly linking their pointer fingers as they walk towards the exit, only letting go once they entered the lobby and caught up with the others.

-

Apparently being patient does end in favorable situations, because when Mark wakes up after falling asleep through a movie with some of the other members, he finds that he’s alone. He blinks, disorientated because he doesn’t remember falling asleep in the first place, noting how the silence rings in his ears, only broken by the faint music coming from the movie home screen. A quick look at the clock tells Mark it’s well past midnight and he wonders why he had been left out here in the first place while everyone else went to bed, but ultimately assumes it’s because he was sleeping so deeply the other didn’t want to wake him up. Stretching out on the couch, arms reaching way above his head, a pleased groan escaping his lips.

He’s slightly still out of it, head still a little fuzzy, eyelids swollen and his mouth feeling as though it was filled with cotton, when he turns his head and abruptly pauses as he notices for the first time that he’s not alone. Stretched out in the corner of the couch, on the bit of couch that makes a right angle so that someone could stretch out fully, lay Donghyuck with his head leant back on the cushions and his legs bent towards his chest but what surprises Mark is the fact that Donghyuck is awake and already watching him already.

“Hey,” Mark’s voice scratches in his throat. “Where did the others go?”

“Bed,” comes Donghyuck’s quiet answer, “They didn’t want to wake us up because we ‘looked tired’.” He says, using air-quotes as he speaks. In the dark with just the light from the TV it’s a little hard to see, but Mark doesn’t miss how awake Donghyuck seems, his eyes alight.

Mark realizes a second later, “So,” he starts, “We’re alone?”

The grin on Donghyuck’s lips when he realizes what Mark is implying is contagious, and Mark finds himself smiling back. They don’t utter the words ‘practice’, they haven’t in a while, both mutually assuming that they both understood that that was what they were doing, nothing more, nothing less, and definitely no longer needed to be followed with the words ‘no homo’ because yeah, they had stated that already and there was no way that they could be catching feelings like that; at least, that’s what Mark tells himself.

Nothing more is said as Mark crosses the couch in one movement, situating himself in Donghyuck’s lap, but just because was here didn’t mean he wasn’t in the dominant position. He had figured out early on that although Donghyuck tried, although he had the fight, Mark often won between them; however, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy the fight because it usually ends nipping, rough biting and some manhandling, all things that Mark enjoyed.

They were both well versed in kissing each other now, having practiced as much as they have, and Mark goes for all of Donghyuck’s weak spots and the younger does the same. In the dark, in the silence, the sound of their lips meeting seems far too loud in Mark’s ear, but he still greedily drinks in the sound of Donghyuck’s moan when Mark bites down on the sandy blond’s bottom lip, feeling heat surge through his veins in response. He presses his hips forwards, slotting them together with Donghyuck’s, and now both of their moans fill the air between them, quickly hushed by Mark surging forwards and pressing their lips together more firmly, tongues battling in the space between their mouths.

It had been a long time coming and yet Mark still pauses in the descent of his hand onto Donghyuck’s lap, instead pressing it firmly against the sandy blond’s stomach and feeling Donghyuck place his own hands on Mark’s hips in response. He kind of wants to take this slow, to relish in the feeling of being touched and touching someone else for the first time, but the other part of Mark knows that all of this was being labelled as practice for any further partners they have and isn’t meant to mean anything, so he really shouldn’t be relishing in any part of this.

Donghyuck makes this noise in the back of this throat and bucks his hips forwards, and it’s then when Mark feels the growing hardness in the younger’s sweatpants as it meets his own. Donghyuck is a lot further gone than he is already, but Mark knows he’s not far behind either. It’s then that his patience, his reverence, goes out the window and Mark hurriedly pushes his hand underneath the hem of Donghyuck’s shirt to press his fingertips into the hot skin there, feeling it twitch underneath his touch. In response Donghyuck pushes his own hands under Mark’s shirt, digging his fingers into the black-haired male’s skin, but he does it a lot slower, and it’s then when Mark realizes that so far, he had really been the one touching Donghyuck more than the younger male had been touching him.

“It’s okay,” Mark pants against Donghyuck’s lips. “You can touch anywhere, I don’t mind.”

Underneath him Donghyuck relaxes further into the seat, which is kind of alarming because Mark hadn’t even realized he was tense at all, like he had needed to hear Mark’s words, like they had come exactly at the right moment. “Yeah,” Donghyuck mutters back breathily, hot breath fanning across Mark’s lips. “You too, pl-“ he cuts him off, but Mark isn’t stupid, and Donghyuck’s unspoken word echoes in his head.

‘Please, _please_ , **_please_**.’

Maybe it should be a little frightening how easy it is for Mark to slide his hand down and push his fingers underneath the waistband of Donghyuck’s sweatpants, biting at the sandy blond’s bottom lip to distract him a little. But Mark isn’t sure if it works or not because Donghyuck seems pretty damn responsive when Mark’s fingers finally push past that thick waistband and find heated skin, arching up into Mark’s hand with a loud moan that he barely manages to muffle with his own mouth. The angle is kind of awkward, but Mark perseveres, wrapping his digits around Donghyuck’s cock. He really should be more awed, more wierded out about the fact that he was currently touching his best friends dick, but all Mark feels is a surge of arousal that makes his own cock throb painfully.

Donghyuck isn’t as long as he is, but he’s thicker, and Mark is hit with the sudden thought of what it would be like to have Donghyuck’s cock in him before he forcibly removes that thought from his head. He wasn’t gay, and he’s pretty sure wanting another guy’s cock in your ass made you gay. To distract himself, he slowly begins working his hand down Donghyuck’s cock and wrapping his fingers a little tighter, so far hearing nothing but the slight hitch of Donghyuck’s breath against his own. He brings his hand up and thumbs over the slit to collect the pre-cum he can feel leaking and this time it evokes a full-bodied moan that bubbles up Donghyuck’s throat.

Mark’s own cock is throbbing, begging to be touched and created an obvious bulge in his own black sweatpants, but still he doesn’t relent, intent on finding what Donghyuck likes. He wraps his fingers tighter, twisting his hand as he strokes upwards and receives a moan back as his hand slides over the younger males’ frenulum, nail just nicking the head of his cock. Oh, so Donghyuck like it’s hard and rough, obviously more focused on getting an orgasm than going slow and stretching it out; like most, if not all, fresh young adults still were. He was the same sometimes, when he had no time to go slow or stretch out the experience, but most of the time he made a proper session of touching himself.

“Mark,” there’s fingers on the waistband of his sweatpants now, tucking inquisitively underneath the fabric and tugging. “Take ‘em off, I wanna’ help you too.”

Mark pulls back from where they hadn’t really been kissing, more like leaning on each other and panting into each other’s mouths, to look at Donghyuck for the first time since he had started touching the sandy blond’s cock. Donghyuck is obviously flushed even in the light of the TV, the pink apparent on his cheeks and his ears, and when he looks up Mark can see how red and purple his lips were from kissing, and Mark is sure his are probably in the same state.

“Okay,” Mark swallows around the lump in his throat, finding it oddly hard to think with Donghyuck’s cock still in his hand. “but only if you do too.”

He barely waits for Donghyuck’s nod before he’s climbing off of the younger male’s lap, pulling his own hand out of Donghyuck’s sweatpants and wiping it on his own. Maybe he should have been a little weirder to just strip half naked like this, even if Donghyuck is his best friend, but Mark doesn’t think anything of it as he tucks his own fingers into his waistband and hurriedly pushes them down, shimmying them off. His cock bounces up as it’s freed, catching briefly in the waistband because of how hard it is, and smears pre-cum against his blank tank top. Mark doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck follows it, doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck arches his eyebrow and then looks back up at him with a curl to his lip.

“Shut up,” Mark says, “Take yours off too.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes but complies, arching his hips off the couch enough that he can tug his sweatpants off of his waist and under his but till it’s resting on the back of this thighs. He hides himself as he tugs his sweats off, whether on purpose or not Mark doesn’t know, as Donghyuck tucks his knees to his chest and tugs them off the rest of the way with his knees still up against his chest before eventually pulling them over his feet and away.

“Commando huh?” Mark asks, arching an eyebrow like Donghyuck had at him.

He’s promptly ignored, but Mark can’t stay mad for long because then Donghyuck drops his knees, feet flat on the floor, and Mark finally catches sight of Donghyuck’s cock in the light from the TV. He had been correct in his assumption that he was thicker, but the shine of pre-cum smeared all over the head of Donghyuck’s cock is what has Mark quickly moving to assume the same positions as before, wanting his hand back on that as soon as possible; he himself is probably just as wet with pre-cum, but Mark can’t help but be so fucking turned on at the obvious proof of Donghyuck’s arousal.

Mark wraps his hand around Donghyuck’s cock, and although he really should be expecting it Donghyuck’s hand around his own cock has Mark jolting, surprised, and he end up collapsing forwards, his free hand bracing on the back of the couch over Donghyuck’s shoulder as he bows his head in the space between them. For a good minute he forgets what he’s doing, lost in the feeling of Donghyuck’s hand on his cock and unable to do much more than buck into the feeling and breathe heavily, eyes screwed shut.

It’s a completely different feeling to be touched by someone else, to be touched by a hand that is not your own. Donghyuck’s hand is smaller, smoother with a less callouses, and he’s wicked in the way he twists his hand relentlessly just before the head of Mark’s cock, making sure to pay extra attention to the sensitive underside, before stroking downwards and squeezing maddingly around the base of Mark’s member. Donghyuck jerks him off exactly how Mark expected the younger too, knowing far too soon how to push Mark’s buttons and turn him into a groaning mess.

With pressure in his stomach and heat in his veins, Mark gets a little more used to the touch and it’s in that moment that he decides to give it back to Donghyuck just as hard as the younger was too him. He finds Donghyuck’s cock with his free hand, wrapping his fingers around the shaft a little tight and beginning at a slow pace, just to make sure he wasn’t hurting the younger or anything, before going a lot faster and harder. The affect is instantaneous, and the moan Donghyuck lets out echoes in the air between them, almost loud enough to wake people up but just in case Mark leans upwards and captures Donghyuck’s lips. It’s not so much of a kiss, more of a way to shut the younger up, and Mark allows Donghyuck to whine and gasp against his mouth as he thumbs over the tip, stroking downwards and playing dirty by reaching down far enough to squeeze at Donghyuck’s balls.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck groans against his lips, “Shit.”

Any patience they both had quickly went out the window, and the two boys solely focus on getting each other off, panting curse words into each other’s mouths and muffling moans with kisses all while being hyper aware that someone could walk in on them at any second. Mark’s orgasm catches up to him, speeding along faster than he was used too when using his own hand, although he guesses it makes sense seeing as this was his first time being touched by someone else. His head quickly goes hazy and he can acutely hear his heart pounding in his ears, can feel the shortness of breath in his chest.

“Close.” Mark has the presence of mind to mutter and then, as Donghyuck ups the ante and grips him tighter, working so fast that Mark is sure Donghyuck’s hand looks like nothing more than a blur right now. The slick sounds produced further Mark’s arousal, as they’re as loud if not louder than the moans from the two boys, and Mark rocks his hips forwards, urging Donghyuck on as his own hand stutters and he hurries to catch up. Neither boys are worried about technique right now, just focusing on the pleasant friction created from the tightness of their grip and the way their hands speed over each-others cock.

Donghyuck groans something back that sounds like, “Me too.” But Mark can no longer hear much more over the pounding of his heart in his ears, and the sound of Donghyuck’s moans in the space between them. For a second he think he’s going to last a little longer, because his orgasm appears to ebb away a little, but then suddenly the pressure in his stomach is growing to the point where it’s uncomfortable and his toes are curling, body crumpling inwards, before it overpowers him and Mark cums with a pathetic groan released against Donghyuck’s jaw; stars burst from behind his eyes as he shudders, bucking his hips forwards and he rides out his orgasm, the hand on his cock still going and milking out thick ropes of white from him, covering Donghyuck’s hand as it escapes.

As he slumps against Donghyuck, body shuddering and twitching, cock oversensitive as Donghyuck keeps stroking him, face pushed into Donghyuck’s neck, he picks up the pace of his previously slowed hand and hears it clearly when Donghyuck finally cums, the younger male finally letting go of his own cock and instead relocating both hands to Mark’s hips. The younger male is much louder than him, his moan loud enough to echo around the room and fuck, someone had definitely heard that, he thinks, his cum landing hot and wet on Mark’s hand. Mark keeps milking him through it like Donghyuck had to him, feeling the younger shudder underneath him and let out an actual whine. The male is obviously oversensitive, at which Mark relents and let’s go.

There’s cum between them and it’s probably making a mess on their shirts, not to mention that their cocks are still out, but Mark doesn’t move from his slumped expression against Donghyuck, every inch of their bodies pressed together. There’s a high chance that they’ll be caught if they linger much longer, but Mark is exhausted and he’s sure Donghyuck is in the same boat, and so the two boys lay there in silence as they slowly get their strength back.

“We can’t stay here,” Mark says eventually, voice quiet to match the dorm around him. He feels sticky and kind of gross, cum drying on his skin and sweat still apparent on his neck and forehead. When Donghyuck doesn’t reply, nor even make another move, Mark lightly hits the younger male with his non dirty hand and sits up. “Come on, we need to clean up and go to bed.”

“I don’t wanna,” Donghyuck whines. Without them pressed together, Mark sitting back on his thighs, Donghyuck can look him in the eyes and he pouts at Mark. “It’s comfy here.”

Mark rolls his eyes, “Yeah, but do you really wanna be found here in the morning with cum on your clothes?”

The answer is obvious. Mark climbs off Donghyuck’s lap, suddenly very aware of how naked his lower half is as he bends to pick up his sweatpants, but still reaches out to slap Donghyuck’s foot. “Come on, we don’t need to shower, but there are cloths in the bathroom.” He turns, hearing Donghyuck get up off the couch and follow him, his footsteps heavy.

They spend far too long in the bathroom, cleaning themselves up and awkwardly not meeting each other's eye as they clean their hands where the evidence of the others release was still apparent. Sweat pants are put back on for modesty, but Mark finds himself following the bulge of Donghyuck’s cock through the material now that he knows the younger isn’t wearing underwear. Shirts are taken off and thrown into the hamper in the laundry on the way back, buried down to the bottom so that they weren’t found (because no matter whose cum it was, Mark would never ever want to explain why it was there).

“Night.” Mark mumbles at his door, so tired he can feel his eyelids drooping. He hears Donghyuck mutter it back, but Mark is already opening his bedroom door as quietly as possible and stepping inside before shutting the door back behind him. He has this weird tightness in his chest that he decides very quickly to not entertain further, at least not tonight, as he crosses the room as quietly as possible so that he didn’t wake Doyoung up. He grabs a shirt off the floor, tugs it on, and climbs into bed, and all it takes is for his head to hit the pillow before he’s fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading chapter three! I can't wait to see what ya'll thought of it ! see you at the next update !


	4. Oral fixation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ! welcome back to this fic ! I'm so happy and excited to be updating this story again. As some of you know from the update that I had on this chapter, my computer was broken and I was unable to upload any chapters - well thankfully my computer is now fixed, and I'm able to start updating this fic again. Thank you to everyone who has kept up with this fic, who are here reading whenever this fic is updated and leaving me wonderful comments, and thank you to all the new readers to this fic ! I appreciate you all. 
> 
> Unfortunately, in the weeks I've been away my beta has started uni again, and now has a job, so they very little time to beta for me so this chaptered was beta'd by yours truly. If my beta finds time then they might still update chapters here and there, but for now it's just me so i'm sorry if suddenly the chapter's quality goes down because I'm not actually that great at that kind of stuff ! 
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter four ! enjoy !

Surprisingly, it becomes a lot easier for the two of them to sneak around and find moments alone. Mark puts it partially on the fact that he’s seen Donghyuck dick properly rather than a passing glance when he accidentally walked in on the younger, both flaccid and erect, it’s no longer weird for them to shower together and he no longer feels weird about Donghyuck seeing his cock too. They manage in the quiet of the morning, waking up a little earlier than most to wake up together under the spray, hands around each other’s cocks. They manage in the studios under the premise of working on music, ever thankful for the soundproof padding. They manage in each-others beds in the early hours of the morning just after everyone had finally fallen asleep, careful not to wake their roommates and muffling their moans with kisses and their hands. And, they even manage on the communal couch again when they know they have the dorm to themselves.

Then, they get a little more adventurous. It starts when they’re watching a movie with their hyungs, all piled together on the couch, and a sex scene comes on. Gone are the days where Mark is shoved out of the room, Donghyuck too, and although there are some side looks, Youngho sniggering and Taeyong letting out a pointed cough, nothing is said about the two younger members as they all watched.

Despite the fact that nothing is said, Mark is still young enough to not be able to control his bodily reactions. He turns pink when he feels his member slowly start to fill with blood, thankful for the blanket over his and Donghyuck’s laps because when he bends his legs it creates enough space that he can press a palm against his crotch without being caught. Donghyuck, who is literally sitting right next too him seeing as Mark was using Donghyuck’s shoulder to rest his own head, does the same, and Mark thinks nothing of it until he feels Donghyuck’s hand push his own away from his crotch.

Mark stiffens, not wanting to give away what was happening but also unsure if he should let this continue. In the end he gets no say, because when Donghyuck presses his palm down harshly over Mark’s lap the black-haired male decides very quickly that he doesn’t want Donghyuck’s hand away from him even if they were surrounded by the others. Instead he pulls the blanket up enough to cover his mouth and his nose, breathing heavily but keeping his eyes strictly on the tv so that it seems like he’s really intent in watching the movie.

It’s not until Donghyuck has his hand inside of Mark’s basketball shorts, nimble fingers wrapped around his cock, that Mark thinks to reciprocate. It takes a little maneuvering to make sure that their arms don’t bump against each-other, and to make sure that both of their movements are hidden underneath the thick blanket they are sharing, but soon they fall into an easy routine. It gets a little hard to keep silent as Mark reaches the peak, hand faltering on Donghyuck’s cock as his hips twitch onto the sandy blond’s hand, his entire body tensing, but he manages in the last second to tilt his head downwards and press his free palm against his mouth to mute his sounds as he has one of the best orgasms of his life. Donghyuck follows soon after, but Mark plays a little dirty and milks the sandy blond for all he had until Donghyuck was twitchy and oversensitive and has to push Mark’s hand out of his basketball shorts.

From there they just keep finding new ways to mess around in semi-public without being caught. In the communal showers attached to the dance studios Donghyuck pins Mark to the wall and jerks him off hard and fast, the two turned on from watching either dance, mere meters away from their bandmates. In the kitchen under the table as they eat dinner, Donghyuck holding a full conversation while Mark touches him over his jeans and brings him to completion without ever having to pull Donghyuck out of his pants. Behind the scenes at music bank as they pre-film a stage, the two stumbling into the nearest empty room and managing to pull each other off in less than the five minutes they were given for a break. They’re most daring, and most current, is in the van on their way back to the dorm from a long day out, curled up together in the backseat with a blanket over their laps, Mark’s face pushed into Donghyuck’s neck as they jerk each other off while everyone around them sleeps.

As much as Mark enjoys having a hand around his cock, and his around Donghyuck’s, he soon subconsciously begins looking for something more they can do; the answer comes on a Saturday at three in the morning while Mark idly scrolls through his private twitter, not really looking for anything specific he was just trying to make himself tired enough to sleep, when he comes across a video that makes him start. He spares a glance over at Doyoung, glad to see that he was still asleep, before rolling onto his stomach and pulling his blankets up and over his head before tapping on the video, thankful he had already had the foresight to put headphones in.

The video starts and Mark stares as a male sits on a couch playing video games, Xbox controller in his hand. The shot is angled so that Mark can’t see his face, but Mark already knows why. The reason steps into the frame a second later, walking over to the man with the controller and standing right in front of him, blocking the TV. There’s a wordless conversation in which the controller dude tries to push the other away, before suddenly the other male is dropping to his knees and ducking his head under the controller to reach into the controller-dudes sweatpants and hurriedly pull out his cock.

Mark watches with rapt attention as the black haired male (Mark caught a brief glimpse of hair as he leaned in) lent in and licked a long stripe up the other males’ cock, and although there was a brief struggle where the controller male (Mark catches a glimpse of blond hair a second later when he lets his head roll back onto the couch) ultimately the black haired male wins and eagerly takes the blond males’ cock into his mouth and begins sucking. Already he’s imagining Donghyuck is the one on the couch and he’s the one sucking cock, feeling his own cock eagerly fill in response.

Briefly he wonders if this was something he should really do, even if it was labelled as practice. Surely there were lines that shouldn’t be crossed and another males’ cock in his mouth sounds like one of those lines, but Mark can’t ignore the odd giddy feeling in his chest, the pounding of his heart against his ribs; but surely that means nothing, right? He was probably just excited about getting his dick sucked, it was most males’ ultimate fantasy, definitely not because he was excited about the fact that it would be Donghyuck’s mouth on his cock. A mouth was just a mouth, it didn’t matter if it was attached to Donghyuck or not, and so with that

Mark quickly repressed any thoughts he was having about possibly feeling more for Donghyuck than he was letting on; he wasn’t gay, and they were just being horny young adults looking for the easiest way to get off and practicing their skills with each other for future relationships.

The video switches angles as it finishes, and Mark is treated with a downward shot on the dark-haired male as he kneels on the ground, the blond haired males’ cock resting against his lips as the blond works his hand over his cock. It barely lasts a minute before the blond is letting out a deep moan and cumming all over the black-haired males’ lips, in his mouth, and partially over his chin, and Mark watches with rapt attention as the black haired male sticks his tongue out to lick it up, show the camera the cum collected on his tongue, before he swallows and when he next opens his mouth it’s all gone.

Mark has to sneak off to the bathroom this time to jerk off, because he just knows he’s going to be too loud if he stays in his bed and end up waking up his roommate. He ends up standing over the sink working his cock over the porcelain bowl, his free hand resting against the mirror ahead of him, his eyes screwed shut as he desperately jerks himself off; and if he thinks of Donghyuck’s mouth on his cock, sucking eagerly over the head before taking Mark’s cock down his throat till his nose presses against Mark’s pelvis, hand working what he can’t reach; if he thinks of Donghyuck eagerly opening his mouth, Mark’s cock resting against his bottom lip, until finally he is thrown over the edge and fills Donghyuck’s mouth with his seed, moaning Donghyuck’s name, Mark lies to himself and tells himself he hadn’t imagined any of that.

The evidence is washed down the drain as sink later, and as Mark curls back up in bed he ignores the tightness in his chest and instead drifts off into an uneasy sleep.

-

As much as he wants to approach the subject of blowjobs with Donghyuck, Mark doesn’t. There’s just never the right time to bring it up, and Donghyuck seems most comfortable just jerking him off, and so Mark partially forgets about even bringing it up by the end of the week because he never gets a chance too. It ends up that that isn’t the end of it though, because on Sunday morning the opportunity presents itself with Mark ever having to bring it up verbally.

Mark’s drifting between sleep and being awake, the bright late morning sunlight streaming through his net curtains and hitting his face, his upper body, and that with the additional heat from his blanket is keeping him perfectly warm, as was the body pressed up against him, when he heard it. It startles him a little and he cracks his eyes open, blinking sleepily at the ceiling, but when the noise fails to happen again Mark becomes convinced he had imagined it and closes his eyes again to slip back into a light sleep. It was Sunday, one of their days off, and if he wanted to sleep to the early afternoon he would.

The noise comes again and this time, this time, Mark registers it as what it is, a moan. He opens his eyes again and looks to his left, finding Donghyuck lying there. He had snuck into Mark’s bed last night but they had been too tired to fool around, instead falling asleep curled up together like they often did, but now Donghyuck lay away from Mark on his back, face scrunched up and mouth hanging open, hips twitching underneath the duvet. It takes Mark a second to recognize the signs for what they are, but once he realizes heat blooms across his cheeks, heat pooling in his lower stomach.

Mark watches as Donghyuck tilts his head back, a moan escaping his lips as he searches for friction on his cock. It’s obvious he’s having a good dream, Mark notes, when he looks down and can see Donghyuck’s bulge even through the duvet. Wanting to see more Mark reaches out before he can think about it, sure in his head that Donghyuck won’t care, and pushes the duvet back off of Donghyuck’s hips as slow as he can. Just as he thought the sandy blond male looks like he’s achingly hard, the line of his erection prominent where it strains against the dark grey cotton of his shorts, and Mark can even see pre-cum escaping from where the head of his cock is, creating an obvious wet area.

It’s fucking hot. Mark had never been in the same bed as someone who was having a wet dream, nor had he had a wet dream while he was in a bed with someone else, and it sent a surge of arousal throughout his abdomen, making his own cock twitch in his sweat pants. Seeing Donghyuck like this was already giving Mark ideas, ideas centered around that video he had watched a couple of nights ago, and he absently eyes Donghyuck up as he considers it. He’s sure that Donghyuck wouldn’t mind, and it’s not like they had a better chance than right now, at least not for another couple of days, and Mark kind of just wants to try.

With his mind made up, Mark shifts on the bed. It’s easy to slip between Donghyuck’s legs as the sandy blond already has them lying open, and move so that his elbows are on the outsides of Donghyuck’s hips. Once he was here the prospect of what he was about to do was a little more intimidating, as was the bulge in Donghyuck’s shorts, but Mark shakes that thought aside and preservers, telling himself that this was practice and that he might as well do this now while Donghyuck was hard and ready.

Instead of reaching for the waistband, Donghyuck’s shorts are loose enough that all Mark has to do was push up the leg and reach in, pushing the fabric away from the sandy blond’s cock. Without the fabric in the way Donghyuck’s cock springs upwards, standing tall and to attention, and Mark notes how the head of his cock is slick and shiny with the amount of pre-cum he had been releasing. Mark briefly looks up to see if Donghyuck had noticed anything only to find that the sandy blond was still completely out of it, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes moving rapidly behind his closed lids, clearly enjoying what was happening in his dreams, and Mark wonders if he’s imagining a similar situation to what Mark was doing.

Mark finds it’s as equally as daunting as before to have a cock obviously achingly hard standing to attention right in front of him, but Mark refused to be perturbed. He wraps his hand around the base first, working Donghyuck’s cock a little, just to build up some confidence, before lifting himself up so that he can lick at the head of Donghyuck’s cock. It’s salty, Mark notes, but with an underlying sweetness that has him continuing with his kitten licks around the head of Donghyuck’s cock, licking right over the slit where he already knows Donghyuck is the most sensitive. Surprisingly, he quickly gets over how weird it is, getting more confident as he goes, and with his first broad lick against the head Donghyuck lets out a loud moan in his sleep.

He does it again, just to hear Donghyuck moan, and it fuels the fire in his own abdomen. The thought of taking all of Donghyuck down his throat right now seemed a little too much, so Mark starts with taking the head of Donghyuck’s cock into his mouth, being careful with this teeth, and sucking lightly. It’s accompanied by working his hand over the base, albeit slowly because Mark wants most of the feeling to come from what he was doing with his mouth, and as Mark gets used to the fullness in his mouth he quickly sinks deeper.

It’s not till he’s halfway down that Mark stops, feeling Donghyuck’s cock hit that middle ground between still being in his mouth but also being almost in his throat, before bobbing up again. In the initial video he had watched, plus the ones after that for additional ‘research’, it seemed like he was supposed to bob his head and so Mark does, going slow at first before moving faster and faster, not neglecting anything as he makes sure to still swirl his tongue over the head whenever he comes up. It’s a little difficult to be doing more than one thing, the bobbing of his head, the swirling of his tongue, the movement of his hand, but Mark manages it; clumsily at first before he gets used too it.

In fact he gets so caught up in what he was doing, addicted to the obscene sounds created by his mouth on Donghyuck’s cock, the slick and the spit on his chin, that Mark completely misses it when Donghyuck jolts, letting out a long deep moan that Mark just assumes is in the sandy blond’s sleep. It’s not until a hand suddenly touches his head, fingers twining into his hair, that Mark realizes Donghyuck is awake and he quickly pulls up and off of Donghyuck’s cock, wiping his mouth, only to forcibly be stopped from moving any further by the hand on his head. He ends up with the head of Donghyuck’s cock still pressed against his lips, unable to move further.

Mark looks up to find Donghyuck watching him, and all he has to do is take in those dark, lust blown pupils, hooded gaze and bright red lips from where Donghyuck had been biting at them, matching his cheeks, to feel an almost overwhelming jolt of arousal go through him. He’s so fucking tempted to raise his hips a little off of the mattress and reach down between them to touch himself, but he resists the urge; barely. Mark watches as Donghyuck opens his mouth, flicks his tongue out to lick his dry lips (a movement Mark follows closely) before huskily saying,

“Keep going, ‘m close.”

Donghyuck’s hand on his head, fingers twisted in Mark’s black locks, doesn’t lessen up; instead, the sandy blond presses down harder, encouraging Mark. Biting back a scathing remark about Donghyuck already being close, Mark instead sinks down on Donghyuck’s cock again, ignoring the pitter patter of his heart, taking the sandy blond as far into mouth as he can, smoothing his tongue over the head of Donghyuck’s member to collect the leaking pre-cum there. The hand on his head lessens up just enough that Mark can pull off, breathe, and then bob back down, mimicking what he had seen online. However, nothing prepared Mark for the sudden spark of arousal when Donghyuck doesn’t let Mark come back up and Mark ends up taking the sandy blond accidentally down into his throat, Donghyuck rolling his hips up as he keeps Mark’s head still, breathing heavily through his nose.

It’s a lot, and Mark is starting to not be able to breathe, but still he holds on, hand wrapped around Donghyuck’s thigh so that he could sign if he needed to be let go immediately. He’s never given a blow job, nor taken a cock right down into his throat, but the longer Donghyuck is there the easier Mark finds it when Donghyuck does let him up momentarily to breathe before he’s being pushed back down again. This time Donghyuck winds both sets of fingers into his dark hair, keeping his head completely still, as he fucks up and into Mark’s mouth, into his throat, Mark breathing through his nose. It’s dizzying, and Mark is so fucking aroused at the fact that Donghyuck is basically just using his mouth, his throat, for pleasure.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck, “Shit, I’m gonna-“ It’s funny, from down here Mark can actually feel Donghyuck’s thighs tense up, his stomach tense up, and can feel the sandy blond’s balls tighten upwards when he reaches down to play with them, edging Donghyuck along and playing a little dirty when he slips down further and pinches the sandy blond’s inner thigh. It ends up being what sends Donghyuck over the edge and the sandy blond hurriedly lets’ go of Mark’s hair, barely giving the older male time to pull off of Donghyuck’s cock, and Mark looks up to see Donghyuck screw his eyes shut and loll his head back, mouth falling wide open and his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed before Donghyuck was cumming in long stripes over Mark’s plush red lips, nose, and chin with another cry of, “Fuck!”

Mark grins, working his hand slowly over Donghyuck’s softening member. The sandy blond moans, rolling his hips slowly as he works through his orgasm and Mark keeps stroking him up to the moment where Donghyuck settles back down on the bed with a sigh before pulling his hand away. He pats Donghyuck’s thigh and absently flicks his tongue out to lick up the cum on his lips and chin, hesitantly tasting it, and immediately screws up his face; it’s bitter, more bitter than his, but with an underlying sweetness that has Mark licking up the rest, having to use his shirt to get the cum off of his nose. It’s not till he looks up that Mark finds he’s being watched, Donghyuck’s eyes half lidded as he quietly observes the black-haired male lick up his seed.

“Let’s switch,” Donghyuck eventually says. He pushes at Mark’s shoulders, but the black-haired male doesn’t initially understand what Donghyuck means, so he arches an eyebrow and just looks back at the sandy blond confusedly.

“You dumbass, switch with me. I’m gonna suck you off.” Mark still doesn’t really understand but he still gets up, letting Donghyuck shove him, and it’s not until the sandy blond is rolling onto his knees and crawling to pass Mark on the bed that the black-haired male understands what he means.

It takes a little bit, it’s deceptively harder to switch places on a small queen-sized bed than Mark thought it would be, but eventually he’s the one reclining against the wall, Donghyuck’s pillows cushioning his lower back. Donghyuck himself ended up between Mark’s spread legs on his stomach, and the sight of the sandy blond there makes Mark’s twitch obviously against the black cotton of his sweats. It would have made more sense for him to take his pants off, but Mark is becoming more conscious of the larger amount of voices he can hear out in the common room, and so he wants something to cover himself with quickly in case someone comes in.

Donghyuck seems far less nervous about this than Mark was. He pushes his hands up Mark’s shirt, pushing it up and off of Mark’s stomach to expose the flat expanse of skin and the small snail trail heading from below Mark’s navel to where it disappears underneath the waistband of his sweatpants. Mark flinches as Donghyuck’s hands slide down his stomach, nails digging in to leave faint impressions of red, until he hits Mark’s waistband and curls his fingers underneath it. Donghyuck, in typical fashion, teases him, pulling down Mark’s sweatpants far too slowly, letting the material catch on his cock and Mark lets out a pathetic moan at the friction his sweatpants creates on his cock.

“Please,” Mark mutters, getting to the point where he was 50% sure he was going to end up cumming in his sweatpants, and bucks his hips upwards. “Please.”

It seems like the younger does take pity on him, because he tugs down Mark’s sweatpants down with a rough tug so that Mark’s cock finally springs free and slaps against his skin loudly. Mark takes one look down at himself and lolls his head back against the wall before placing a forearm over his eyes, suppressing a low moan. His cock is red, making it obvious that he was painfully aroused, and wet around the head and onto the start of the shaft, veins sticking out along the side. Mark doesn’t think he’s ever been as aroused as he was right now, and it was oddly embarrassing that Donghyuck could see that firsthand.

“For me?” Donghyuck asks, his tone obviously teasing. “You shouldn’t have, Mark.”

Mark refuses to look down and entertain Donghyuck, in fact he plans to just keep his face covered the entire time that Donghyuck blows him. He manages too as Donghyuck leans in to the point where Mark can feel his breath against his cock, his hips rising subconsciously in anticipation, and it’s not until a moment passes before something hot and wet wraps around his cock that Mark finds keeping his face covered impossible. He yanks his arm away from his head to look down and lets out a shaky moan, nearly cumming at the sight before him.

Donghyuck has the head of his cock in Mark’s mouth, one hand wrapped around the base of the black- haired males’ shaft, but it’s the fact that Donghyuck was looking right up at him, his eyes eager and lust filled, thick eyelashes making him look oddly innocent, that drives Mark quickly towards the edge. As Donghyuck sinks a little lower he swipes his tongue over the head of Mark’s cock and Mark’s hips twitch desperately at the feeling, the pressure that was already present (but dormant) quickly beginning to grow again, his body beginning to heat up additionally.

“I’m already-“ Mark starts as he squirms, because Donghyuck has reached down with his free hand and is switching between fondling Mark’s balls and following the line of his perineum, making tingles erupt throughout Mark’s body. “Close. Fuck. I won’t take much mor- ah!”

Donghyuck had taken immediate advantage of the fact that Mark was close, taking more of the black-haired male into his mouth until Mark was just beginning to disappear down his throat. Mark kind of expects him to start bobbing and prepares for it, only to have to violently reach down and twist (read: yank) Donghyuck’s sandy blond’ locks between his fingers because Donghyuck starts fucking _humming_ with Mark halfway down his throat, one hand wrapped tightly around the base of the black-haired males’ cock and the other back on his balls. It’s a sensory overload and Donghyuck knows it, but it seems like the sandy blond is enjoying watching Mark suffer because when the black-haired male manages to open his eyes again (he had screwed them shut at the same time he had pressed his fingers into Donghyuck’s hair) there’s obvious amusement in the sandy blonds’ eyes.

Opening his legs wider, mainly to encourage Donghyuck to touch him more, Mark’s fingers tighten in Donghyuck’s hair and he presses downwards. It works, and Donghyuck sinks down lower on Mark’s cock, breath coming heavy out of his nose, but he never complains, only keeps looking at Mark. The black-haired male assumes it’s because Donghyuck is good at being able to hold his breath, because Donghyuck just stays there and keeps humming, working his tongue over and over the head of Mark’s head to taste the pre-cum escaping there, ever working Mark higher and higher.

Mark’s orgasm ends up sneaking up on him. He gets to a point where he’s so fucking close, literally about to be tipped over the edge, when Donghyuck lets go of Mark with both hands, lowering his humming so that it’s a lower pitch but further down in his throat, stimulating Mark further. The loss of touch of Donghyuck’s hands on his cock makes the pressure, the electricity in his veins, suddenly lessen, and he’s just about to open his eyes and ask why the fuck Donghyuck was teasing him when Donghyuck suddenly passes his finger over Mark’s hole.

“Oh- oh fuck!” Mark shakily groans, a stutter in the middle, far too fucking loudly; eyes still screwed shut but his eyebrows showing his surprise (the inner corners drawing together) before relaxing into an obvious ‘O’ face, hips bucking wildly at first, then slowing, then bucking again. It’s a weird mixture of feelings, because at first Mark isn’t sure he was even going to cum, the feeling sneaking up on him, but Mark happily rides it out with a roll of his hips, his bottom lip caught in between his teeth as he paints Donghyuck’s throat white. Eventually he relaxes back against the cushions, sated and his body still buzzing, and only then is he able to crack open one eye and reach up to push back the hair that was stuck to his sweaty forehead.

They make eye contact just as Donghyuck pulls off, and it’s not until the sandy blond opens his mouth and shows the cum pooling on his tongue that Mark, amidst a weird pang in his stomach, that Mark realizes Donghyuck had kept Mark in his throat as the black-haired male had cum. As Mark watches, hands gently pulling out of Donghyuck’s hair, the younger male smirks at him before swallowing heavily and opening his mouth once he had finished to show that he had swallowed it.

“Maybe warn a guy next time,” Donghyuck says immediately, “I nearly choked.”

“Sorry,” Mark smooths some hair away from Donghyuck’s eyes before he realizes what he was doing and stops, finding it far too intimate for what this was between them, “It kind of snuck up on me.” As his body cools and his orgasm fades he can’t help but feel increasingly tired, limbs sluggish as he reaches down to tuck himself away when Donghyuck doesn’t bother.

“It’s all good,” Donghyuck sits up, brushing back his own hair, and reaches for some tissues beside his mouth to wipe his mouth. His cock it still out and although Mark has now had it in his mouth, he still can’t help looking down at it in curiosity before looking back up when Donghyuck says, “There’s always more practice.”

Mark’s heart stutters a little in his chest, but he doesn’t let it show. He nods, swallows around the lump in his throat, and says, “Yeah, more practice to come.”

Once Donghyuck was tucked away, and they had made sure to clear away any further evidence of what that had been doing, the two end up curled up in each other in Donghyuck’s bed again. Donghyuck falls asleep quickly, head on Mark’s chest, but the black-haired male stays awake, hand absently pushing through Donghyuck’s hair as his thoughts swirl around in his head and he sinks further and further before it’s too much and eventually Mark just closes his eyes and slips into a very light sleep; it would have been better if he didn’t though, if he had of gotten up and just had some coffee, because his dreams are filled with Donghyuck and his heart feels tight with an emotion Mark isn’t willing to admit he was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading ! please leave a KUDOS and a COMMENT if you wish. This fic is updated fornightly every Tuesday (NZST) and I look forwards to seeing you all next time ! 
> 
> My tumblr is: 2kitsuneao3 if you wish to follow me there, I post updates on when new chapters / fics will be up and also I'm always willing to just chat to people on there so come talk to me if you want too!


	5. New realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ! here is the new chapter of '2bros'. Thank you to everyone who has been patiently waiting for each new chapter as they go up and sticking with me as this fic continues ! and welcome, to the readers who have just found this fic now ! 
> 
> Once again this chapter is unbeta'd as my beta is now very busy, so I hope it's not too bad.

The next couple of days almost pass as a dream to Mark. He didn’t regret sucking Donghyuck off, no way in hell did he regret that, but it just bought up unwanted questions about his sexuality that he didn’t really want to address right now. The afternoon after he had woken up to Donghyuck having a wet dream and everything that had followed afterwards, Mark had awoken to still find Donghyuck’s head on his chest and spent another good half hour staring down at his best friend, chest tight and head swirling with thoughts until he couldn’t handle it anymore; and, like the wimp he was, had gently lifted Donghyuck’s head off of his chest and onto the pillow before quietly slipping out of bed before fleeing.

If anyone had noticed his mood that morning, they hadn’t noticed. Mark had slipped into the shower, thinking that he had his emotions in check, only to break down once he had slipped under the hot water, fists curled at his sides and head bent under the stream of water. Not once in his life had he ever had to question his sexuality, not once had he ever had to think that maybe he wasn’t as straight as he thought, but now everything was just coming down all at once and, as Mark bites his lip and blinks away the stinging in his eyes, Mark is forced to confront all of that.

Donghyuck notices. Of course, he does, but maybe he was just as stubborn as Mark or maybe he’s confronting his own feelings because he doesn’t bring it up. For the most part they’re able to act normal, laugh in front of the camera, fool around behind the other member’s backs, but there’s always that niggling in the back of Mark’s head; the thoughts of why was he feeling like this? Why was he feeling like this now? Why was he feeling this about Donghyuck? And why, oh god why, wasn’t he straight?

-

It turns out that Mark spends a little too long in this dream state. He does get better, is able to push those thoughts back and reciprocate Donghyuck’s touch more and more, although he does always have this moment of clarity afterwards where the answer is _right there_ before it’s gone and Mark has to spend some time to himself again, but it seems like he’s not fooling everyone as best as he thought he was.

It’s late Friday night and everyone is spread out around the dorm after a long day of training, some already sleep, some watching tv shows, and some just sitting quietly in their room. Mark is in his room lying on his back as he blasted music, keeping thoughts out of his head because he’s tired, and kind of stressed, and just wants to relax. Like this he’s able to keep _those_ thoughts out of his head, able to keep thoughts of Donghyuck out of his head, and is relishing in the quiet in his head kept at bay by the loud music when a knock sounds at his door.

Mark looks up to find Youngho standing there, hand raised like he was going to knock on the doorframe again just in case Mark hadn’t heard him. Mark sits up, nodding Youngho in, as he pulls his headphones out and watches as the taller male steps in. He thinks nothing of Youngho coming to find him, to talk to him, until Youngho shuts the door kind of firmly behind him and locks it before looking up and there’s this _look_ in Youngho’s chest that sends and odd tightness through his chest.

“Hyung?” Mark asks, finding his voice oddly stuttered.

Youngho doesn’t offer any explanation until he’s sitting on the end of Mark’s bed, long legs crossed underneath himself and his eyes on Mark, in which he utters a soft, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Mark replies, questions on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t voice them just yet. “What’s this about?”

It’s then when Youngho seems to notice something because he visibly relaxes, leaning forward slightly with a smile, “Relax,” he says, “I’m not here to tell you bad news.”

Mark isn’t sure how he didn’t notice, but now he does note the sharp lines of his shoulders and forces himself to relax more too, slumping in and leaning over his own crossed legs to pick at the blanket below him.

“Okay,” he says, “now tell me what this is about.”

Despite his previous words, Youngho still hesitates, breaking Mark’s gaze to look down at his own hands picking at the blanket too, before looking back up. “You know,” he starts, taking a breath, and it’s not often that Mark sees Youngho looking this unsure of himself so he’s caught between this weird mix of feelings where he wants to reach out and touch Youngho but also really wants to know what Youngho was going to say. Finally, Youngho looks back up at him, bottom lip caught between his bottom teeth, “-that you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?”

Of course, of course Youngho noticed. As two people who had quickly become close because of their similar backgrounds of growing up in English speaking countries, Youngho was quick to notice if something was wrong with Mark, and Mark had been stupid to think that no one else would notice this war that was going on in his own head. Still he feigned innocence, wanting to see what Youngho might have deduced, or thought about why Mark was perhaps not 100% right now, and just raised an eyebrow at the taller male.

“Yeah, I know,” Mark hears him say, “and I’m thankful of that, hyung, but I’m still not sure-“

Youngho shakes his head, cutting over Mark, “Did I ever tell you about one of my friends from before my trainee days?” he asks.

Now Mark is really confused. “No? what are you talking about? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Shh,” Youngho says, reaching across them to touch Mark’s knee, “Just let me talk about this, OK?” and there’s a particular tone in Youngho’s voice that makes Mark stop, nod, and lean back into his own space, motioning at Youngho to let him continue. He’s buzzing with questions about what Youngho wants, what this is about, and why he was telling this story to him now, but Mark keeps his mouth shut in favor for letting Youngho talk.

Youngho pauses for a second, and when he starts talking it’s quiet, like he doesn’t want to be overheard. “Back when I was living in the U.S I had a friend, a guy friend, and we were really close,” Youngho starts, dropping his gaze back down to the duvet below him. Immediately Mark fails to see the point as to why Youngho was telling him this, but he keeps his mouth shut, knowing that Youngho would only tell him to shut up again, nodding at Youngho to continue, “Well, we got really close, like we were brothers, and then we kind of – we got – we got physical.”

“What?” Mark is unable to keep quiet this time, meeting Youngho’s eyes quickly when the older male looks up again. “You got physical with him?” now he has a million more questions; did Youngho mean physical like Mark thought he did? Was Youngho fooling around with this guy? Were they still talking? Does this mean that Youngho was – was?

Youngho holds his finger up, and although Mark is finding it basically impossible not to speak right now, shifting on his bed, he forces his lips shut to let Youngho talk.

“It’s just what you’re probably thinking right now,” Youngho says, “we just started out with kissing, then some you know,” Oh god, now Youngho was turning kinda pink, something Mark hadn’t seen him do much, and it makes him feel oddly hot around the neck too, “getting off together, and eventually sex and,” finally he manages to look up, and Mark is kind of put off by the sincerity, the emotion, he sees in Youngho’s eyes when the older male looks at him, “-you have to promise not to tell anyone this, ok?”

Mark quickly nods and says, “Ok.” In a quiet voice too, soft to match Youngho.

Youngho nods, looks down at his hands that he’s twisting on his lap, and looks back up before saying, “That’s how I figured out I was bisexual.”

That’s something Mark had heard before, he knew what it meant, but that still doesn’t stop him from tilting his head and asking in the same quiet tone, “bisexual? So, you like-“

“Both,” Youngho nods, breathing out shakily and leaning back, running a hand through his hair to get it off of his face. Visibly it’s like he had just got a huge weight off of his chest, and when he looks back at Mark he looks more confident, “I like boys and girls.”

And it’s odd how those words, those few words, send a sort of ease, an understanding through Mark. Suddenly everything he had been thinking over the last week, it had really been that long, seemed less scary, more manageable, and he finds himself relaxing too because wow, here was someone just like him right in front of him, here was someone with similar life experiences, right underneath Mark’s nose and best of all he had been given a word, a single word, to help Mark understand and come to terms with something that he had been struggling to understand and come to terms with himself.

Mark has a lot of things he wants to say, lots of things he wants to confess, but all that comes out of his mouth is, “Why are you telling me this?” and there must be some kind of vulnerability in his voice, some kind of softness, tenderness, that has Youngho reaching out to gently touch his leg; his palm a comforting weight against Mark’s shin.

“Because I just wanted to tell you it’s OK. It’s all Ok, Mark.”

He doesn’t notice the wetness in his eyes till it’s too late, and before Mark can blink away the tears they slip out and then he’s crying, red faced and raw with Youngho’s palm on his shin; but he’s not crying because he’s sad, he’s crying because finally, finally he has confirmation that it’s OK, that all of this is OK, that he’s allowed to maybe not fit in a particular box that had been set so firmly in his conscious that he had never even noticed it until it was questioned, and that he’s allowed to question whether to step outside that box until he finds a space more comfortable for him to fit in. Finally he feels like maybe he can breathe through the water that had been circling higher and higher, threatening to pull him under, and that all this sadness, all this guilt, all this confusion, all this sadness, and all this happiness is OK, it’s OK, for him to be feeling.

“I won’t force you to tell me anything you’re not ready to tell,” Youngho is saying in a soft voice, hand ever present on Mark’s skin like a lifeline and Mark reaches for it, placing his own hand on top of Youngho’s, “But if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I’ll listen and I won’t judge you Mark, not ever.” Before he’s pulling Mark into his circle, and it’s not strictly comfortable with Mark in a sort of sideways position, but he accepts Youngho’s comfort and pushes his face into the older males’ chest, sobbing and holding on for his life.

-

As much as a shitty thing it may or may not be, Mark takes some more time away mentally from the situation he and Donghyuck had placed themselves in. Outwardly he doesn’t let anything show, doesn’t let anything seem out of the ordinary, and continues to end up either in Mark’s bed or Donghyuck’s bed after fooling around, or fooling around behind their hyungs’ backs, but gone are the days when Mark feels so guilty about it, so overwhelmed about what he was doing with another guy and end up either in the shower staring blankly at the wall or curled up in his bed listening to music. Instead he’s more accepting of himself, reminding himself whenever things seemed overwhelming that there were others out there like this and that he wasn’t the weird one, the outcast, the pervert.

Whenever it’s possible Mark searches for more people like him, for more people who were questioning or were confident in their sexuality and finds strength in what he finds. There were a lot more people in the world than Mark thought who weren’t strictly straight, or were questioning, and some of them were even influencers, or high media people, and he spends maybe a little too long searching for others in his industry that were like him; that was harder to find, but he does find one in particular who Mark then spends far too long listening to his music, sitting up straight and leaning a little too close to the camera when the artist features himself kissing another male kind of explicitly on screen.

In turn he examines his attraction to girls. He was attracted to them, could imagine kissing them and perhaps going further, going on dates with them, and to end up with a girlfriend; but, he could also now imagine what it’d be like to date a guy, to kiss and go further with a guy than Mark had so far, and to end up with a boyfriend. It was scary at first, because to start Mark did have trouble imagining it further than just wanting to do explicit things with boys, but the further Mark pushed past that comforting haze and broke into an unknown territory, the less scary that territory became to the point where Mark could comfortably imagine doing the same with both genders.

He doesn’t entertain thoughts of going that far with Donghyuck, in fact he purposely imagines blank faced males, or other males that he had noticed on the street that to start he had thought, ‘ _oh, they’re handsome_ ’ to what he now realized was actual physical and mental attraction, because he first wants to understand this completely before opening that potential can of worms. It’s after that conclusion, and after a night where he had his room alone where Mark purposely switched between straight and gay porn and found, with equal amounts embarrassment and equal amounts arousal, that both managed to make him hard, that both turned him on, that he could imagine himself pushing into that tight heat; and, with less explicit videos of gay couples and straight couples kissing that he stumbled upon, that Mark could imagine himself in both kind of relationships; that Mark realized that maybe he was bisexual.

And it’s not that he means to jump on the same train as Youngho, or that he can’t think for himself and just because that’s Youngho’s sexuality it’s his too. No, Mark spends lots of time staring up at his ceiling going over possibility after possibility before he comes to that conclusion, reads through far too many internet sites and watches far too many coming out and ‘how to know if you’re –‘ videos on YouTube; and he knows, he does, that sexuality can be fluid, and that maybe in the future it might change, but right now bisexuality seemed to fit the mold of what he was experiencing and he felt like he could breathe a little easier with at least a title, an explanation, of what he was feeling.

Outwardly nothing changes, and his sudden realization doesn’t make everything in Mark’s life suddenly better, he still has his down days and his up days. Otherwise, he’s still Mark, and this new realization doesn’t bring about any major personality changes, but Mark knows the other notice when he’s suddenly a little more outgoing again, a little happier, a little more smiley again. Of course Youngho is the only one who probably has an inkling as to why he is suddenly a lot happier again, but he doesn’t say anything; and Donghyuck just seems happy to have his friend back when he goes in for a hug and Mark doesn’t push him away like he had been burnt.

The only thing is that he becomes oddly tempted to tell people, to blurt it out at random times during conversations or when the entire room is silent. He doesn’t, because that would be stupid, and he’s not really ready to tell everyone just yet; maybe just one or two particular people.

-

It’s not often that Mark finds himself alone. With being an idol he’s almost constantly supervised when dancing, training, and doing vlives and the only times he’s not being watched is either back at the dorm, but of course all the other members are there too, and the studio. As much as Mark loved his bandmates, he needed time alone to work on songs, and so when he was told he had free access to one of the studios later tonight, he was beyond happy.

The other members had decided to go out for dinner, something about it being Friday and that they were all young, but Mark’s studio slot was right in the middle of when everyone had planned to go out and so he stayed behind; not that he minded, it meant that even if he were to be bothered it would most likely be once everyone got back from dinner, and with how many of them there were plus the fact that they had no schedules tomorrow, Mark was counting on everyone coming back from dinner late. He would eat dinner in the studio anyway, so it’s not like he was really missing out on anything.

So, when everyone was putting on their shoes, pulling on their coats, and getting ready to go out; Mark was instead pulling on his sneakers and his most comfortable hoodie for the short taxi ride down to the studio, built away from their dorms. With his laptop, a charger, and everything else he needed Mark made sure to say goodbye to everyone at the door of their dorms before getting in his taxi and settling into the seat. The ride was quick, Mark listened to music the whole way, and before he knew it he was inside the company building and shutting the studio door behind him, locking it for good measure.

He worked hard for the first couple of hours, playing around with a beat that had been stuck in his head for about a month now and trying to get it how he wanted, before breaking to have some food and idly watch some videos. It’s then when he finally checks his phone to see if he had any important messages that he might have missed, the headphone over his ears blocking out enough sound that Mark often didn’t hear his phone going off. There were a couple from Youngho just updating him, and a whole bunch of texts that were obviously sent from a very tipsy Taeyong telling him not to forget to eat; there were none from Donghyuck though, and Mark isn’t really sure why his heart sank a little in his chest before he shook away the feeling, wondering why he was acting like that.

Mark works for another solid three hours until almost one in the morning before he feels his attention wavering. He had finally gotten the beat to how he wanted it, although he was sure he would go back later and clean it up a little, and had been messing around with some lyrics. Deciding that he would have another small break Mark drops his pen and stretching his arms above his head, feeling his joints pop and loosen as he stretched them out and idly wondered what he should do. He didn’t really feel like watching any more YouTube, and he couldn’t be bothered heading out his studio to purchase a drink or anything from the machines, when a thought popped into his head.

No, he couldn’t. He was in a studio where he was supposed to be working, had been trusted to be here alone so that he could work, but as Mark tilted his head to the side and peered at his computer his strictness wavered a little. The door was locked, and there were no cameras in here, so why couldn’t he? All he wanted to do was relax a little, and he didn’t have to do anything more. Besides, what he had in mind could be helpful knowledge.

With that thought in mind Mark reached for the mouse, opened an incognito tab (if this was traced back to his work account Mark would be screwed) and types in his favorite porn site. Immediately he’s met by thumbnails of naked, or half naked people, in compromising positions, and felt his cheeks warm a little as he scrolled down to see what popular videos had made it to the main page. A lot of it didn’t pique Mark’s attention enough to watch it, not that he was watching for his own pleasure Mark told himself, an obvious lie, when a particular video of two men caught his eye.

The title read ‘rimming’ and the thumbnail had one male between the other males’ legs. Mark wasn’t quite sure what rimming was, and it kind of just looked like a blowjob, but it got his attention enough to click on the video. As it loaded Mark quickly turned his head just to check the door, noting how the lock was sideways meaning that it was engaged, before turning and scooting his chair back a little so that he could lean comfortable against the back, his feet flat on the floor. Idly he placed a hand on top of himself, although he still firmly told himself that he wouldn’t get off too this, not here, as the intro sequence played.

Mark’s cheeks color further as the video actually starts. There was no build up, no plot, and instead had opened to one of the males being pinned down on the bed. Both were already naked, cocks hard and straining against their stomachs, and Mark swallows heavily as the two men grind against each other and a soft moan falls from the lips of the male on the bottom. Mark’s cock twitches a little as their kiss was broken, the male on top quickly kissing down the others torso and Mark furrows his eyebrows when the bottom males’ cock was completely ignored and instead the top male kept moving until he was well past the bottom males’ balls and perineum.

“Oh.” Mark says to himself. Suddenly he understands what rimming means and watches attentively as the top male places a kiss over the bottom males’ entrance before slowly flicking his tongue out. Mark had never really thought much about being touched, well, down _there_ let alone kissed, but he had watched enough men fucking each other to know how that worked. Immediately he’s interested, and he’s unable to stop the thoughts that stream into his head of someone eating him out down there, or vice versa and _fuck_ it’s definitely enough for his cock to twitch again, blood slowly pooling.

Mark hadn’t really planned on touching himself, in fact this was half research and half because he hadn’t known what rimming was, but now he can’t help but push a hand underneath the waistband of his sweat pants to rest over his cock, the barrier of his underwear his only safety right now. On screen the top male was becoming more absorbed, the bottom male voicing his pleasure, as he licked, flicking his tongue like Mark had when giving a blowjob. It’s too much of an overload already and Mark can’t help it when he tentatively grinds up into his palm, promising himself he was only going to do it once; of course he doesn’t end up doing it only once, the first roll had only been the start and now Mark can’t stop as small zings of pleasure go through him, making him twitch.

With blood steadily rushing to his cock, making it fill and harden under his own touch, Mark watches attentively as the top male pushes his tongue out to breach the rim of the bottom males’ entrance. The sounds the bottom male had been making had been steady, loud, but as his entrance is pushed into his moans raise in pitch until they’re almost mewls and he reaches out to twist his fingers into the top males hair as he tries to push into the feeling only to have the top male place his hands on the bottom males hips to stop him.

Mark inadvertently makes his own sound, a low groan in his throat. The temperature in the studio seemed to be rapidly rising and Mark shifts, feeling his underarms prickle, as his cock throbs in his underwear and Mark can’t resist rolling into his hand a little harder with the hope of it helping; only to find that it made things worse. He could feel a wet spot where the head of his cock is when it brushes against his palm, leaving a little smear of wetness, and Mark realizes all of a sudden that he had already let himself get too far to possibly stop; and maybe it was that thought, or his own hindered mind, that Mark doesn’t think before he’s reaching into his underwear and the first touch of his fingers against his heated cock makes Mark shudder and groan.

He starts off slow, leisurely sliding his hand down to the tip before returning to the base, his movements hindered a little by the fact that he was still fully dressed and the crotch of his underwear bump against his knuckles as Mark downstrokes, but he’s not brave enough to pull off his pants completely in the studio even if the door is locked.

On screen the bottom males’ moans had gotten much louder, pumped through the headphones over Mark’s head until he feels like it’s being streamed directly to his brain. It was so fucking hot to hear him so vocal, so lost in his own pleasure that he couldn’t control himself, and Mark watches closely as the top male pushes apart the bottom males legs even further apart so that he could push deeper with his tongue; the affect instantaneous and the bottom males moans go higher still. The top male seemed really into it, hellbent on making the bottom male cum just from being eaten out, and the slick sounds plus the visual plus both males being so vocal about their enjoyment was quickly making Mark loose control.

As he strokes downwards Mark’s slides his thumb over his tip, making him utter a sharp, “Fuck” as his body shudders. He’s being vocal himself, Mark knows, but because of the headphones Mark couldn’t hear how loud he was being, couldn’t hear it as the lock in the door slowly turned and opened.

Mark lolls his head back, eyes closing momentarily, lost in his pleasure. He really fucking wants to take his pants off, or at least pull them down enough to free his cock, and the fact that he was here and getting off in such a carnal way, all out in the open with porn so obviously displayed on the screen, turns him on further. On screen the bottom male was loosing it, head thrown back much like Mark’s, as he quickly climbs to his orgasm and Mark hands tightens on himself, the slide of his hand gaining speed and aided by the slick of his pre-cum as he watches, getting lost himself.

It hadn’t been long since he had jerked off, being a hormonal newly legal adult, but still Mark could feel that the heat flooding his body was starting to accumulate in his abdomen, and he was just about to say ‘fuck it’ and stroke himself as hard and fast as he could handle when something touched his shoulder.

“Fuck!” Mark yells, yanking his hand out of his pants like he had been burnt and wheeling around to see what had touched him, panic flooding his veins as he thought he had been caught by a manager or worse, the CEO, when his gaze falls on Donghyuck just out of reach and bent over as laughter wracks his form. Even with head headphones on Mark can hear it and as he (sulkily) reaches to hit the space bar, minimizing the tab and pulling his headphones off, the laughter is much louder.

“Oh god,” Donghyuck laughs, “You should have seen your face!”

Mark’s face was surely firetruck red by now. “Shut up.” He says, wishing that Donghyuck was in kicking range, as he leans back into his chair and tries to make himself as small as possible. Mark had been caught jerking off before, of course he had with the amount of people in their dorm, but it just as embarrassing every time it happened; and to make it worse this time Mark had had porn openly out, compared to the times when he had just been caught in the shower or in his bed.

“Who would have thought,” Donghyuck had straightened up now, wiping away fake tears as he rolls his weight onto one leg and places his hand on his hip, a shit eating grin on his face, “That you would be using your studio time to watch porn. You’re lucky it was me checking on you and not Taeil or Doyoung, they would have had your head.”

Mark scoffs, “Like it’s really any better that it’s you, by tomorrow everyone is going to know anyway.”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply to that, just smirks and steps forwards, reaching for the mouse. When Mark realizes what’s happening he tries to reach for it too, tries to get Donghyuck’s hands away, but the younger male is faster, and he knocks Mark’s hands away before securing the mouse in his own grip.

“What were you even watching?” Donghyuck says, although Mark knows the younger had surely gotten a good look while Mark had been unaware he was there. Mark sinks into his chair, covering his face with his hands, and watches in mute horror as Donghyuck slides the mouse across the screen and maximizes the screen that Mark had shut. The page springs open and Mark sinks further into his seat, there was no hiding now as Donghyuck takes in the stilled screen of the top males’ tongue very much still on the bottom males’ entrance and the title, his smirk only widening. “Rimming, huh?” Donghyuck asks, tilting his head, “Interesting.”

Mark’s excuse rises on his tongue and he opens his mouth, ready to blurt out that he had only been curious, that he had accidentally clicked on it by accident, that it had been a mistake and that his hand had just somehow ended up around his cock; but all of that quickly dies when Donghyuck turns to him, jerks his head to the screen, and asks,

“Wanna’ try it?”

It throws Mark and he gapes at Donghyuck until his brain and his tongue work again and he splutters, “What?”

Donghyuck, still seeming unbothered, asks “Want to try it?” and reaches for Mark’s shirt, tugging at it, “Come on, it’ll be fine, you and I both showered before going out.” Mark allows himself to be tugged up and out of his chair, although really he let himself go far too easily, and lets Donghyuck maneuver him mid step so that Mark ended up being shoved onto his back lengthways on the couch. While Mark lay there, a little breathless from being shoved so hard, Donghyuck climbs onto his lap and straddles him, that half smirk half smile ever present in the curl of his lips.

It’s a little odd. Mark is kind of used to be the instigator, but having Donghyuck on top of him, having Donghyuck be in charge, was doing something odd to Mark’s heart. He’s helpless as Donghyuck leans down, hands pressed against Mark’s pectorals for stability, to eagerly lock lips and Mark readily opens his mouth to allow Donghyuck in. The press of Donghyuck’s tongue against his own, the slide against the caverns of Mark’s mouth, makes Mark shudder and let out a breathy moan into Donghyuck’s mouth.

Mark arches up into Donghyuck’s body, pressing them together. He finds Donghyuck half chubbed against his hip and grinds, trying to find friction against his own aching cock and moans at the feeling. At that Donghyuck pulls away, sitting back up, and like this their cocks are perfectly aligned and Donghyuck wastes no time in chasing his own pleasure, grinding his hips. They had done this before, ground against each other until they came, and so Donghyuck knows exactly how to rolls his hips and Mark knows exactly how to reciprocate.

“We might as well try it,” Donghyuck stops all movement as he stills, but it’s the oddly somber look in his eyes that has Mark’s protest stilling in his throat. “I mean, you could still do this with a girl –“

Mark isn’t sure what comes over him, but suddenly the room is too hot and his eyes sting a little and he realizes, with crystal clarity, that he had to tell Donghyuck, he had to tell his best friend, even if it could make or break their friendship. Slowly he pushes up, giving Donghyuck time to react and hold on so that he doesn’t fall off of Mark’s lap only for Mark to maneuver Donghyuck off of him. It would be too much to have Donghyuck sitting on him right now, as long as Mark managed to speak around the currently growing lump in his throat. He hadn’t even thought beforehand how he was going to tell Donghyuck, or anyone, but he knew that it was the right thing to do to tell Donghyuck this now before they keep fooling around, that he couldn’t keep it a secret and pretend that everything was 100% all right, couldn’t pretend like he was straight and that they were doing this to practice for girls, even if he was terrified.

“About that,” he finally starts when Donghyuck looks like he’s about to ask what was wrong, confusion and worry prominent in Donghyuck’s gaze. “I have something – I mean, there’s something-“

“Mark,” Donghyuck reaches out and places his hand on top of Mark’s knee, and when the older boy looks up to meet Donghyuck’s gaze he’s a little shocked to see the sincerity in Donghyuck’s gaze, the trust, and Mark knew right then and there that no matter what he said Donghyuck would stay by him; if only he could get out what he really wanted to say, “What is it? you can tell me anything, you know I won’t judge. You’re my best friend after all.”

Which is just totally unfair. Mark is hit with this odd wave of emotions, realizing suddenly how much Donghyuck trusted him and wanted to stay by his side, so that when he finally blurts it out it comes out more like a sob, voice a little too high and pitchy as he stutters and stumbles over his words;

“I think I might be bisexual.”

Out of all the possible reactions Mark had gone over, imaging from the very worst to the absolute best, he had never once thought about silence. It was far by the worst reaction he could have asked for, mostly because he didn’t know whether it meant Donghyuck outright hated him or was accepting. It takes a lot from him to look up from his hands which were sitting his lap, he had been absentmindedly cracking his fingers to help get over the tension, his stomach a bundle of nerves and his heart thumping so loudly in his throat that Mark thought for a split second he was somehow going to throw it up, so sure that he was going to be met with Donghyuck pulling a disgusted expression before telling Mark he never wanted to see him again.

What he was met with is the complete opposite. Donghyuck meets his gaze and he looks, well, relieved, happy, accepting, empathetic; all good things that made Mark’s worry, fear and anxiety disappear so quickly that it almost felt like he had whiplash, his stomach and heart quietening so quickly.

“Mark,” Donghyuck sees all of this, obviously, because he hasn’t looked away from Mark’s face once. He reaches out, giving time for Mark to withdraw, and gently places his hand over Mark’s. “It’s OK. I know you can’t help like what you like, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” And it’s so unlike from how Donghyuck acts normally during the day, showing emotions and acceptance in such a way that Mark is pretty sure he is the only one ever to see in the rare moments they do have hearts to hearts, that Mark suddenly feels such a different range of emotions he can’t express them in any other form than starting to quietly cry.

Donghyuck knows better than to treat him like a child, so when he reaches out for a hug he’s chuckling, patting Mark’s back like big brother would to comfort their little brother. “Hey, it’s OK,” he says, a teasing tone in his voice but it’s not too much that Mark thinks Donghyuck is really picking on him. “Don’t cry. What would the hyungs think, they’d think I made you cry, and I’d be in trouble, so don’t cry. It’s OK, Mark.”

Which, in turn, just makes Mark shake and Donghyuck tuts, pausing for a moment before muttering. “Hey, I have something to tell you too, so stop crying and listen for a sec.”

Mark nods and pulls away from him, nonchalantly reaching up to wipe away the wetness in his eyes. His tears hadn’t reached the ‘rolling down his cheek stage’, but there was still an embarrassing amount of wetness pooling, even if they were tears of relief. “OK,” Mark says, wincing when his voice cracks but Donghyuck doesn’t say anything about it, “Tell me.”

It’s Donghyuck’s turn to look faintly nervous, but he looks like he’s handling his emotions a lot better than Mark was, making the older male wonder if he had already told someone whatever it was he was about to tell Mark. Mark has a feeling he knows what it is, but he doesn’t want to assume things, so he sits, ready and waiting, for whatever Donghyuck was about to tell him.

Donghyuck pauses for only a moment longer before he meets Mark’s gaze and says, the corner of his lips turned up slightly, “I think I might be gay.”

It takes a little, embarrassingly so, for Mark to comprehend what Donghyuck had said because it was so far from what he had assumed Donghyuck was going to tell him; in fact, he hadn’t expected anything like that at all. He blames it on this, as well as his general ineloquence, that the first thing he blurts it,

“- but, at the pool with the couple-“

Donghyuck looks a little embarrassed, cheeks coloring to a light pink, but he still looks faintly amused at Mark’s floundering as he replies, “Yeah I was uh – looking at the guy the whole time.”

“Oh,” Mark blinks and then blurts out without thinking, “Is that Lee Donghyuck being horny on main.” He teases, like Donghyuck had once done to him. For a second Mark does worry it was the wrong reply because Donghyuck doesn’t reply, just sits there and stares at Mark with his eyebrows raised, his mouth hanging slightly open, before all of a sudden Donghyuck leans over and punches Mark on the arm.

“Hey,” he laughs, “Don’t copy me.” But it works, the two relax back into a comfortable silence as the odd tension in the air, and Mark’s previously wet eyes, dried. Mark thinks absently as he gazes at Donghyuck how he couldn’t have asked for a better friend, one who would love and accept him no matter what. He feels as though a huge weight had been removed from his chest now that he had told Donghyuck his secret, and he was glad that it was Donghyuck who was the very first person Mark had told he was bisexual, not counting Youngho who probably already knows Mark is at least questioning.

Mark is content to sit there, looking fondly back at the conversation, glad that he had trusted Donghyuck enough to tell him and in turn Donghyuck had trusted Mark enough to come out too, until his thoughts head in a different direction; his feelings for Donghyuck. Mark quickly pushes away that train of thought, not wanting to confront it or say something that would be too much after they had barely just come out to each other, and instead tilted his head to the screen and said whatever nonsense first came too his head.

“So uh, now that we know we both like boys, do you still wanna’-“

Donghyuck is a mile ahead of him, smirking before Mark had even finished his sentence. “I guess it makes more sense now,” agrees Donghyuck, “I mean, just in case we get boyfriends or something in the future.” Donghyuck seems a whole lot more comfortable with this topic than Mark did, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head back to fix Mark with a piercing look. It was a lot, and it made that heat stir in Mark’s lower stomach again, making him absently shift.

“Exactly,” Mark murmurs, “I mean, not to be gay but-“

“Mark,” Donghyuck says, cutting over him. Mark looks up again, his gaze had been stuck somewhere around Donghyuck’s collarbones, “Come here before I die of old age.”

Mark moves quickly, quicker than he possibly had ever before, eager to be on top of Donghyuck as he climbs onto the younger males’ lap and yanks at Donghyuck’s tee-shirt to pull him in for a bruising kiss. Their teeth clack a little and Mark accidentally bites at Donghyuck’s bottom lip only to receive a moan in response, encouraging him to do it again so that he can hear those noises that go directly to his cock. He had gone half chubbed during their talk, too many conflicting feelings, but with Donghyuck’s lips on his own and Mark sitting on the younger males’ lap so that their clothed cocks rub against each other perfectly, he’s quickly getting there again.

“So good,” Mark groans as he pushes his hands into Donghyuck’s hair, tugging at the sandy blonde locks with his digits. In response Donghyuck pushes his tongue out in a silent question, and Mark opens his mouth willingly underneath Donghyuck’s command, tugging at the younger males’ hair even harder in response when their tongues slide together. “Fuck, Donghyuck.” In such a short time Donghyuck had gotten so good at kissing, and it was enough to make Mark’s cock throb with arousal.

Donghyuck hums in agreement against his mouth, “We should hurry,” he murmurs, “The others might show up.”

There’s absolutely other reasons why Donghyuck wants to hurry, but Mark isn’t one to complain. He wants to get this going as fast as he could too, still wound up from the video he had been watching and from being perched on Donghyuck’s lap like he was, loving the feeling of being the one in control. To his delight Donghyuck allows himself to be the one now pushed down onto his back, Mark still sat on his lap.

It doesn’t last for long. “Pants off.” Donghyuck commands, slapping Mark’s thighs to get him off of the younger male. Mark curses that he hadn’t thought of that earlier but still moves, climbing backwards off of Donghyuck so that he can kneel on the couch between Donghyuck’s legs. He’s quick to push his hands underneath his sweatpants and his boxer briefs, yanking them down his thighs before rolling onto his ass so that he can yank the clothing the rest of the way down and off of him, throwing them onto the floor of the studio. When he looks back up Donghyuck is doing a very obvious once over of him, eyes stilling noticeably on Mark’s cock on the way back up, making Mark feel far too warm in his cheeks.

Wordlessly Donghyuck does the same, unbuttoning his jeans and undoing the zipper before lifting his hips so that he can pull the stiff denim down his thighs. A throb of arousal goes through him when Mark realized Donghyuck was going commando and continues to silently watch as the younger male pulls his jeans off the rest of the way before throwing them into the same pile as Mark’s clothing. It’s not until Donghyuck looks up that Mark cocks his head to the side, one eyebrow raised and says,

“Commando, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Donghyuck growls, “Come here.”

Mark ends up between Donghyuck’s legs again, lying flat on the younger male as he attacks Donghyuck’s collarbones, nipping and biting until Donghyuck hisses and intertwines his fingers into Mark’s hair, yanking at it roughly. Having his hair pulled makes tingles zip down his spine and he feels blood rush to his cock, quickly hardening against Donghyuck’s hip, although maybe the attention was getting to Donghyuck a little more because Mark can feel the hard line of Donghyuck’s cock against his own hip. Donghyuck is even leaking pre-cum, if the little wetness Mark can feel against his skin means anything, and it turns Mark on immensely to know how much all of this was getting to Donghyuck.

Kissing down Donghyuck’s body Mark pushes up Donghyuck’s shirt, tucking it under his chin, and diverts a little to wrap his mouth around the sandy blond’s nipple, using his tongue to flick over the perky nub. He smirks as Donghyuck arches up into his touch, and Mark feels the sandy blond dig his nails into Mark’s scalp, holding onto him to keep Mark there. Donghyuck is so sensitive, so fucking sensitive, and Mark uses that knowledge to his advantage to find where Donghyuck is the most sensitive, to rile the younger male up as much as he can. Mark keeps going until Donghyuck’s nipple is a pointed peak, the area around it wet with Mark’s saliva, before he moves to the other one and the sound that Donghyuck makes when Mark’s mouth first closes around it is enough to make Mark’s cock throb.

“Mark,” Donghyuck pushes into the feeling, encouraging Mark in his conquest. “I’m- you’re gonna-“

With another flick of his tongue that has Donghyuck letting out this high-pitched moan, Mark relents and pulls off of the younger male with a wet sound. He looks down to find that Donghyuck does look achingly hard, his cock red and the tip wet, obviously incredibly turned on; Mark is getting there, especially from the noises that Donghyuck was making, but he’s more interested in making Donghyuck loose control, finding his own pleasure there. Mark reaches down to wrap his fingers around them both as best as he could, not quite getting his hand closed, and on his first stroke Donghyuck’s hands fly to his biceps and grips onto him with bruising strength.

Mark wastes time in stroking them both, rolling his hips into his own touch. The feeling of Donghyuck’s cock against his own, as well as his own hand, is enough to have Mark dropping his own head to Donghyuck’s chest, unable to keep it held up as his body shudders. Now he understands what Donghyuck was implying with his stuttered speech, not wanting to finish before they could even get too what they had been planning, and so with one final firm stroke Mark lets go.

“Mark,” Donghyuck reaches for him as Mark sits up, the older male slapping the youngers thigh. “What are you-“ Mark cuts him off as he grabs Donghyuck’s ankles to pull him further down the couch, just enough so they’d have enough room, before looking back up at the younger.

“I thought we were trying – ya know,” Mark doesn’t wanna say it outright, it was still a little embarrassing that he had been caught watching and getting off to porn in the first place, so instead he motions towards the studios monitor with his chin. “I’m just getting into position.”

Donghyuck looks at him for a second, silent, before he’s laughing and rolling his head back. “Position,” he echoes, “you sure have a way with words, Mark.”

“Shut up,” Mark tells him and moves before he realizes he doesn’t really know how they were going to do this, quickly stilling again before looking back at Donghyuck. “So, how-“

Donghyuck raises his eyebrow back, and it strikes Mark funny how the younger pretends like he knows what he’s doing before he realizes that maybe Donghyuck had already watched, or at least knew how, rimming worked well before he had walked in and seen Mark watching porn of it.

“Come up here,” Donghyuck pats his chest as he talks, eyeing Mark up. “Like you’re gonna’ sit on my face but face away from me, towards my cock.”

Mark gets caught on the ‘ _like you’re gonna’ sit on my face_ ’ part for a second, hating how the thought sent a thrill through him, but Donghyuck is still looking at him expectantly and so Mark moves. It’s a little awkward, nerve wrecking and embarrassing even to crawl up the couch, pausing for a second to get the confidence, before slinging his leg over Donghyuck’s chest so that he was sitting with his ass facing Donghyuck’s face. Mark can feel Donghyuck’s hot breath washing over his most intimate place and he turns red, cock throbbing, because he liked it so much already before Donghyuck’s tongue had even touched him. Mark’s glad he’s still wearing his oversized shirt because it covers his arousal and means he can tuck his mouth into the neckline.

“You showered recently, yeah?” Donghyuck asks quietly, like if he spoke too loudly he might spook Mark.

“Yeah, before I left. Did you?”

“I did.” Donghyuck says. There’s a light touch to Mark’s hips and he starts a little before he realizes it’s just Donghyuck, the younger male pushing up Mark’s black shirt so that he can press his fingers into Mark’s hip bones hard enough to leaves bruises. “I’ll start, OK?”

Mark swallows around the lump in his throat as he nods, “OK.” He’s not quite sure what he had been expecting, not sure how he had thought it would feel, but at Donghyuck’s first hesitant touch against his entrance with his tongue Mark shudders and groans a quiet, “Oh.” It prompts Donghyuck to press inwards with his tongue a little harder, and Mark is so overwhelmed immediately that he has to lean forwards grip onto Donghyuck’s thighs with his hands, dropping his head between his shoulders. Against Donghyuck’s chest his cock leaks pre-cum, beading out pathetically, enough to leave a small puddle of wetness against the younger males’ sun-kissed skin.

He had never felt anything like this, obviously, but it was so mind-bendingly good that Mark can’t think straight. He moans as a new wave of pleasure moves through him, making Mark push his hips back against Donghyuck’s tongue. They had barely even started but Mark already knew he wasn’t going to last, not when it’s this good from the very start, not when he had already riled himself up by watching porn before Donghyuck even snuck in and caught him.

“Fuck, ‘Hyuck,” Mark voices as he continues to push back into the feeling, trying to be subtle but, in the back of his mind, he knows he’s not being subtle at all. “Shit.” Absently he reaches between their bodies to try and touch himself, to try and relieve some of the tightness of he feels in his stomach, only for Donghyuck to slap his hand away none- too gently.

Donghyuck clicks his tongue, “Nah- uh, no touching,” he pulls away just enough to say, but Mark can still feel the youngers breath puffing against his entrance. “I wanna’ see if you can cum just from this.”

It’s not fair, not fair at all, how some simple words from Donghyuck can make Mark’s body erupt in heat like it did. “Agh,” he verbalizes, not being able to think properly to say anything else. In the next second he’s pushing his ass back again, hands clenching hard enough on Donghyuck’s thighs that he knows there will be bruises there tomorrow, because Donghyuck resumes with flicking his tongue over Mark’s entrance teasingly.

“Hey,” Donghyuck’s hand suddenly appears on what he can reach of Mark’s thigh, “As much fun as this is, you wanna try too?”

Pink dusts Mark cheeks and he nods, ducking his head. It’s a little intimidating, he’s never done this before, and so Mark goes for the safe options for now, ducking his head and wrapping his mouth around the shiny tip of Donghyuck’s cock. Behind him Donghyuck makes a loud noise as soon as Mark does, and he bucks his cock up into Mark’s mouth. It’s obvious the younger is likely aching, his cock red and angry looking, the tip leaking enough pre-cum that it drips against the flat planes of Donghyuck’s sun kissed skin.

It’s hard to suck cock while Donghyuck is licking across his entrance like he is, the feeling distracting him from what Mark is trying to do. It doesn’t help that sounds Donghyuck are making are downright illegal, all breathy sounds and high- pitched whimpers, and Mark finds it arousing as hell that he’s the one making Donghyuck make those noises.

Mark doesn’t go as far as deep throating Donghyuck, he doesn’t know if he can from this angle, everything was confusing upside down, and so he pulls off of Donghyuck’s cock to instead kiss down his balls. Immediately he feels Donghyuck’s touch leave him and now it’s the sandy blond who is whispering-

“Fuck.” As Mark continues lower, kissing over Donghyuck’s perineum and even nicking him a bit with his teeth before he finally comes to Donghyuck’s entrance. It’s a little intimidating being up close to a place that Mark hadn’t even thought about before, but he feels a surge of arousal from the way Donghyuck’s pink hole is fluttering, reacting to Mark’s touch, and before he can think any further Mark leans in and tentatively licks across it.

“Shit! Mark!” Donghyuck bucks into his touch and now he understands the small chuckle he heard from the younger before, as it’s arousing as hell to see Donghyuck so affected from even the lightest touch. Mark’s hands tighten further on Donghyuck thighs as he closes his eyes, going by feeling, trying to remember what he had seen in the video from before and the sight in front of him right now was all too distracting. It’s Donghyuck now who needs to pause in his ministrations on Mark, and Mark can feel how hard Donghyuck’s breathing against his skin as Mark gains confidence and uses the broad line of his tongue to lick across Donghyuck, hearing the sandy blond let out a breathy moan in response.

It makes Mark’s stomach feel tighter, heat quickly growing in his body. He gets away with teasing Donghyuck, gets away with reducing Donghyuck to absolute mess underneath him before the younger finally retaliates. Mark pauses for a second at the initial push of Donghyuck’s tongue against the rim of his entrance and pushes just past it, his hips twitching and pushing back at the feeling subconiously. It seems to please Donghyuck that he can do as much as Mark feels him grin against Mark’s skin, and it only fuels Mark to retaliate.

Mark does the same, catching his tongue against the rim of Donghyuck’s entrance and feels the younger push his ass further into Mark’s touch. Blindly he tries to match what he had seen in the video and it seems to wok because he hears Donghyuck’s breath stutter, Mark swirling his tongue around Donghyuck’s entrance in an attempt to tease rather than give Donghyuck what he wanted straight away; knowing that if Donghyuck was anything he was impatient, and if the way Donghyuck’s hands tighten on his thighs mean anything it must be working.

They must be such a sight, both trying to please each other through the pleasure they were feeling themselves. Mark gets off, only slightly, at the thought of someone walking in one them and seeing how absolutely absorbed they are, and it makes his cock throb, makes the pressure in his stomach only heighten. Under the neon lights of his studio, the quiet only broken by their sounds, Mark is completely and utterly lost in this feeling.

Mark finally pushes past the rim of Donghyuck’s entrance, and he feels the younger’s whole-body shudder.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck sounds breathless, sounds so turned on that he can barely think, and Mark can’t help but find that arousing as fuck, a deep pang going through his own body. “If you- fuck, if you keep that up I’m not gonna- shit, last.” Before Mark can reply Donghyuck retaliates, messily licking across Mark’s and any smug reply Mark may have had before it quickly dies in his throat at the feeling, moaning back.

Swallowing, Mark replies, “Fuck, me too,” and then, adds, “Don’t stop. Please.”

Donghyuck makes a noise of acknowledgement and presses in, fucking into Mark’s entrance with his tongue. He’s surprisingly good at this despite it being his first time, making Mark full body shudder from the feeling, and the older male definitely wants to try this again if they ever had time. He can’t really think through the immeasurable heat running through his body in waves, through the weight settling in his stomach, and it’s messing with his head but he’s trying his best to make sure that Donghyuck gets just lost in this as he is.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” Donghyuck’s voice is low and throaty, something that Mark had only ever had the pleasure of hearing a couple of times and it makes his insides burn. “Fuck, Mark, are you gonna’ cum from just my tongue?”

Mark hates admitting it, hates how Donghyuck’s words make his cheeks color red, “Yes,” he finally admits, “Fuck, yes, ‘Hyuck, it feels good.”

Donghyuck groans, “You too,” and swallows heavily, “it feels good too.”

The next press of Donghyuck’s tongue makes Mark’s back arch and he has to pull away from Donghyuck to breathe, pressing his cheek against Donghyuck’s thigh to pant for air. Donghyuck doesn’t let up, doesn’t even seem to care that Mark isn’t returning the gesture right now. Mark is sure it’s because he probably looks like a mess, eyes wet with tears and face red, his hair curling against his head as he digs his nails into Donghyuck’s thighs, presenting his entrance and pushing back against Donghyuck’s tongue like some kind of whore.

Donghyuck isn’t done. He grips at Mark’s hips and forcibly pulls him closer, using that leverage to fuck his tongue in and out of Mark’s entrance before pulling back to instead lick broad stripes against the area, and just when Mark thinks that he’s handling it, that he can hold out for just a little bit longer, Donghyuck lets go of one of Mark’s hips so that he can push his fingers against Mark’s perineum and it sends a jolt through the older males body, one that makes white dots appear behind his eyes.

“Fuck,” he whines against the skin of Donghyuck’s thigh, “What was- fuck.”

“Your perineum,” Donghyuck tells him, sounding smug as hell and Mark would usually hit Donghyuck for that kind of thing but right now he’s pretty sure he’s unable to move. “Just relax.”

Mark laughs dryly, knowing for a fact that he wasn’t able to just relax when Donghyuck was making him feel so fucking good and opens his mouth to tell Donghyuck that when the younger male slides his finger more firmly against Mark’s entrance and the words die in the black haired males’ throat. He can feel himself quickly approaching orgasm in the way his stomach is only tightening further, body continuously spasming and shuddering from the tingles that are erupting throughout his body. For a second he’s convinced he’s not going to be able to make it, that he’s going to pass out before he even reaches orgasm, but then just as Donghyuck seems to relent and Mark thinks he’s going to be able to relax he feels Donghyuck’s fingers press upwards against his perineum alongside tonguing against his entrance, angling in the direction of Mark’s bellybutton, and Mark’s orgasm blindsides him.

“Fuck! ‘Hyuck!” Mark yells as his orgasm rips through him, pushing past that final precipice and over the edge so quickly that Mark’s head spins. His whole body erupts in tingles as white dots his vision and he shudders, shooting white stripes all over Donghyuck’s chin and chest, covering the younger male’s shirt, and his nails dig into Donghyuck’s thighs hard enough that they break skin but Mark feels that if he doesn’t hold onto something he’s going to lose himself completely.

It takes a while for Mark to be able to think again through the fog in his head, through the ringing in his ears. His whole body feels heavy and weak as he lets go of Donghyuck’s thigh and tries to get up, lifting himself from how he’s completely slumped against Donghyuck’s body. He’s so disoriented that Mark isn’t quite sure how to get off of Donghyuck and the right way up, blinking at the sight of Donghyuck’s legs stretched out underneath him but not moving.

Mark jumps a little when Donghyuck’s hands find his hips again, missing the low chuckle from the younger male at Mark’s state, but the younger male does nothing more then help Mark sit up on his knees so that Donghyuck can slide out from underneath him. Once they’re clear Mark slumps against the couch, sitting sideways with his legs crossed so that he can face Donghyuck.

“Fuck,” Mark has to clear his throat, his voice deeper than usual, and runs a hand through his hair. He glances at Donghyuck, completely tired out, and laughs, “That was- fuck.” He really has no words for what happens, for the intensity of the orgasm he had just had. It was nothing like the orgasms he had had before, and it had really taken it out of him.

Donghyuck half smiles, half smirks at him and wags his eyebrows at him. “You’re welcome.” He says, and apparently Mark just has enough energy to reach out and lightly slap Donghyuck on the leg. They lull into a moment of silence before Mark notices Donghyuck’s hand moving and he looks down, cheeks only heating up a little, finding out that not only is the younger male still hard he’s also touching himself idly. He’s too tired to get hard himself again, or to have another orgasm, but that isn’t his motive when he slowly reaches out, keeping eye contact, slaps Donghyuck’s hand away from his cock.

Mark keeps silent as he reaches out and grabs onto the meat of Donghyuck’s thighs, pulling them apart so that the younger male was no longer sitting crossed legged. Still maintaining eye contact Mark gets up on his knees and crawls closer until he’s close enough to push Donghyuck against the arm of the couch and, in the same movement, grabs onto Donghyuck’s hips so that the younger male is more accessible.

“How close were you?” Mark asks conversationally as he reaches out and grabs a pillow from the floor. Donghyuck doesn’t need to be asked to raise his hips and Mark slides the pillow underneath them, instead quirking an eyebrow to prompt the younger to reply to Mark’s question. In the meantime, Mark slides down onto his stomach, close enough to do what he needs to do, but doesn’t move further until Donghyuck answers him.

Donghyuck’s adams apple bobs as he swallows, eyes trained on Mark. “Uh,” he says in a small voice and when Mark flicks his tongue out to lick his lips Donghyuck follows the movement. Mark barely resists the urge to laugh at that, because it’s not often that Lee Donghyuck was genuinely speechless. “I was – close.”

Mark knows Donghyuck well enough to know that meant he was really fucking close, even possibly about to cum seconds after Mark had, but he pretends like he doesn’t notice any of that. Mark makes a non-commental noise and reaches out to wrap his hand around Donghyuck’s cock lightly, biting back a smirk at how the younger male jumps at the touch, but it’s nothing compared to the stuttered gasp Donghyuck makes when Mark leans in and pushes the younger males legs wider with his free hand so that he can lick across Donghyuck’s entrance.

“Fucking hell,” Donghyuck swears as he leans his head back against the arm rest, pushing his body into Mark’s touch, only too seem to change his mind a second later and look up again so that he can watch Mark slowly jerk him off while licking at his entrance, “Shit, Mark.”

It’s hot as hell to see Donghyuck so helpless under Mark’s touch, even with Mark going as slow as possible both because he wants to tease and also because of his recent orgasm. Donghyuck was absolutely lying about how close he had been, because as Mark uses his tongue to push past the rim the younger male shudders and has to reach out and grip into the sofa. When Donghyuck meets Mark’s gaze his pupils are blown and dark, his lips bright red from where he had been biting them, from where he was biting them, and Mark knows that Donghyuck wasn’t going to last long at all.

Donghyuck is spurting pre-cum all over his hand, evidence of his arousal, but Mark doesn’t speed up at all and settles into this leisurely pace. As he watches Donghyuck gets more and more flustered, his noises getting louder and breathier as Mark licks at him harder, pushes his tongue past the rim of his entrance, arching his back and trying to roll his hips to get Mark to go faster but Mark refuses to comply. He pulls back for a second, letting Donghyuck think that he was going to give him a second to get back under control, but then Mark does what Donghyuck had done to him earlier and slides his fingers against the younger males perineum and Donghyuck arches and lets out a loud cry of Mark’s name as his orgasm rips through him.

Mark blinks at the younger male, surprised that Donghyuck had been _that_ close, but continues to milk Donghyuck through his orgasm as the sandy blond paints his own stomach with cum and arches off the couch, his eyes screwed shut. It sends a thrill through Mark to know he had been the one to cause that, and he continues to pump Donghyuck’s cock even once the younger male had slumped back against the couch and had opened his eyes until Donghyuck reaches down and pushes Mark’s hand away.

“Fuck.” Donghyuck breathes, “I see what you mean.”

Mark laughs and slaps Donghyuck’s thigh before sitting up. He leans back against the couch and watches Donghyuck try and sit up too, the younger males’ limbs shaky and weak, before reaching out to pull the pillow out from underneath Donghyuck to help. Any awkwardness that Mark thought they may have was non-existent as Mark settles, just sitting quietly and basking in the warm silence of their shared orgasm.

It’s Donghyuck who comes to him, climbing into Mark’s lap and not pausing before kissing him. It’s slow and sweet, nothing like what had just happened between them, and Mark presses back, smiling against Donghyuck’s lips as his heart blooms in his chest; it was a nice thank you and so typical of them, and Mark settles into the comforting feeling of having Donghyuck pressed against him, the comforting feeling of Donghyuck’s lips against his own.

“We should clean up,” Mark says when he moves and feels the first hint of cum drying on his skin, whether it was his or Donghyuck’s, Mark wasn’t sure. “I have wet wipes in the top drawer.”

Donghyuck laughs, “Oh, I wonder why.” he teases but climbs off of Mark anyway to go grab the wet wipes, too fast for Mark to have time to hit him for the comment. Instead Mark admires Donghyuck’s form against the lights of his studio and waits on the couch, not finding it weird at all that the both of them were still half naked from the waist down, and when Donghyuck comes back he grabs a wet wipe to clean himself. They both clean their lower halves enough to pull on bottoms, Mark in his underwear and Donghyuck in his jeans, but it’s not until Mark looks away to throw his wipe in the bin that Donghyuck speaks.

“Oh, god damnit,” Mark looks up to find Donghyuck scowling at him, his shirt pulled away from his body and when Mark looks down at it he sees the large stain cum stain on the front of it. “Did you have to get your cum all over my shirt?”

Mark looks Donghyuck right back in the eye, pauses, and says with a completely deadpan expression, “Yes.”

Donghyuck looks back, completely still, and then replies, “Son of a bi-“ and lunges for him. It’s completely in jest, and Mark laughs as he’s pushed back on the couch, wrestling with Donghyuck to try and pin him, the both of them laughing the whole time. They wrestle for a while before relaxing on the couch, gaining their strength for the walk back to the dorm. It’s well past two in the morning now and their hyungs were surely worried, in fact when Mark checked his phone he visibly grimaced at the amount of texts he had from Youngho and the amount of calls from Taeyong, flicking a text back to the both of them that he and Donghyuck were coming back now, before packing their stuff up and leaving.

They held hands under the long sleeves of their hoodies the whole way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave a KUDOS and a COMMENt if you'd like ! the chapters are starting to get longer now as more story actually comes into play, rather than just pwp, so I hope you all look forward to that. 
> 
> Also, peep that reference to Holland - a ksolo artist who is openly gay ! I love his music so much. 
> 
> my tumblr is: 2kitsuneao3 if you'd like to come talk to me there, I also post updates on new stories or when new chapters come out. 
> 
> Reminder that this fic is updated fortnightly on Tuesday NZST.


	6. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ! here's the next chapter of ''Two Bro's' I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is really long, longer than the other chapters, and the next chapter is also really long - I was going to shorten them, but I couldn't find a good place to break them up, so I hope you all don't mind reading something so long. 
> 
> Once again this chapter is beta'd by me.

Youngho corners him a couple of days later. Really it should have been a little more obvious to Mark that it was going to happen, after their initial conversation Mark hadn’t approached Youngho again and Youngho, being understanding, had stayed away long enough to not be pushy. They have another day off right in the middle of the week, and Mark is using the free day to lounge in bed and watch videos. It’s still kind of early so Mark has earbuds in so he won’t wake the others, meaning he doesn’t hear it when the door quietly clicks open nor does he see the figure stepping towards him until they’re right at his bed and pat Mark’s attention to get the black-haired males’ attention.

“fuck!” Mark swears, loud to start off with but he quickly changes his pitch halfway through, yanking his earbuds out to quickly twist off of his stomach and fight off any potential attacks. Of course, when he sees it’s Youngho, who is half-bent over with a hand covering his mouth to stifle his laughter, Mark deflates; but it takes a little more time for his heart to get the message to stump almost jumping out of his chest.

“Don’t do that,” Mark hisses once Youngho has stopped laughing, “You scared the shit outta’ me.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Youngho replies in English as he motions for Mark to move his legs, sitting down in the space provided. “I thought you would hear me.”

Mark sends him a look as he locks and puts his phone down, screen first, on the mattress, “Oh yeah, because with both headphones in of course I would hear you.” He says as he sits up, folding his legs underneath him. It’s colder in the dorm than Mark had thought it was, and so he pulls the covers back over his bare legs, glad he had thought to wear a hoodie to bed. With a quick look at the clock, which blinked back the large red numbers of 8:34AM, Mark added, “Why are you awake by the way?”

Youngho opens his mouth like he was going to respond but his gaze flicks back towards Mark, eyebrows furrowing a little, before he opens his mouth again. “If I’m being completely honest, it’s because I wanted to talk to you uninterrupted.”

“Oh,” Mark scrunches his face up, trying to think of anything he might have done to annoy Youngho (he did steal some of his yogurt a couple of days ago) but otherwise couldn’t come up with anything else. “What about?”

Pushing his hand through his hair, Youngho leans in a little closer and says, “About the conversation we had last week. You remember?”

Oh. Leaning back again, Mark slides his eyes away from Youngho’s face and down to his own lap, picking at the skin around his nails. “Oh, yeah, I remember.” The thing is he did want to tell Youngho, and he wasn’t ashamed of the conclusion he had come too, it’s just the whole topic was still a little foreign to him and he didn’t want to say something wrong; not that Youngho would ever laugh at him.

Pushing a little, but still clearly in a tone that implies Mark could back off if he wanted, “So, have you thought about it? come to anything solid?”

“Yeah, uh,” Mark looks up, runs a hand through his hair, and finally looks Youngho back in the eye. He takes a big breath, steeling himself like he was about to deliver the most important news the world had ever heard, before finally stuttering it out before he can stop himself, “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual.”

“Oh?” Youngho pauses for a second, pursing his lips and for a second Mark thinks he’s fucking up, that all of this was a joke and Youngho had played him somehow, before he grins and reaches forward to punch Mark lightly on the arm, “That’s awesome, I’m happy for you dude.”

A feeling of relief surges through Mark and he visibly relaxes, all of the tension exiting his body, and he grins right back. “Thanks, it took me a little to come to terms with it, and I can’t say I’m 100% there, but I’m happy with it right now.”

Youngho nods, looking understanding. “Yeah, I get that, it took me a bit to be OK with it too, even with how open the states are about that kind of thing.” He pauses, like he’s that was the end of it, before adding with a sly grin, “So, is there anyone you have your eye on? Maybe someone who helped you figure it out a little sooner than later?”

Mark ducks his head, pulling at the neckline of his hoodie, flashes of tanned skin and a boxy grin flitting in front of his eyes, anxiety bubbling upwards from his stomach to settle uncomfortably in his chest, “No,” He says in the most convincing voice he could as he looks away from Youngho’s face, eyes finding a space just over the brown-haired males’ shoulder, “Just the normal stuff, you know.”

There’s no way Youngho believes him, especially not with the half-smirk on his lips that Mark finds when he looks back only for Youngho to quickly conceal it with a smile. “Sure, OK. Well, I’m glad you figured it out. It really takes a load off your chest.”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees easily. There’s a thought that’s beginning to niggle at the front of his head, one he kind of wants to ask even though he doubts Youngho will answer it; I mean, he already kind of had the answer with what Donghyuck had told him. He looks away a bit, biting at the inside of his lip. “Hyung,” he begins in a quiet voice, knowing that he would have Youngho’s undivided attention anyways, “is there anyone else in our – uh, group that’s also uh, questioning?” he winces a little at his choice of words, but he didn’t really have any other idea of how to word it.

When Youngho is quiet for a little too long Mark finally looks back, somehow expecting the brown-haired male to be angry, but instead he finds that same smile secretive smile Youngho had been sporting before, “I can’t tell you that,” he says eventually, then quickly ads when he sees how Mark’s face falls, “it’s not right to out people who haven’t ‘come out’ yet, even if they are our friends. However-“ Youngho had obviously seen the look now confused look on Mark’s face, because he leans in and continues, “I can’t tell you names, but I will say there are some people in our group who are less-than-straight,” Youngho leans back again, raising his hands up so that they’re facing Mark, palms out, “but you didn’t hear anything from me.”

Mark thinks of Donghyuck, thinks about how maybe Youngho knows the sandy blond is gay, but keeps his mouth shut; he wants to keep it a secret, for now, something just between him and Donghyuck.

-

Things become easier between Mark and Donghyuck now that they both know each other’s preferences, and for a while Mark is genuinely happy fooling around with the sandy blonde on the couch while the others are out, cuddling in bed before they fall asleep, holding hands quietly in the back of the van after a long day of practice. Their guise of ‘no homo’ had quickly become unneeded, but Mark really should have known sooner rather than later that they weren’t going to be able to keep this up forever.

They’re at an awards show, one that Mark had quickly forgotten the name of almost as soon as it had started, he just knew it was one that, for once, they weren’t performing at. It’s hot, and he’s uncomfortable, and there’s sweat making the stiff line of his white shirt stick to the back of his neck; and worst of all, Donghyuck is sitting right beside him, their thighs pressed together, and Donghyuck keeps leaning over to whisper things to him, smelling all pleasant and warm with the small amount of cologne that he had borrowed.

As the performances go on, the less Mark pays attention. He’s hyper-aware of how close Donghyuck is too him, how easy it would be to kiss the sandy blond, how easy it would be to slide a hand up his thigh and touch him, how easy it would be to sneak off to the bathrooms and have a quickie in the bathrooms away from prying eyes; that is, until Donghyuck leans over and whispers,

“That Taemin-hyung is attractive, huh?”

Mark’s attention snaps to the front where he notices, for the first time, Taemin standing in is final pose for Move, skin glistening with sweat and his dark eye makeup smudged, his lips red; and feels a pang of _something_ go through him, pain blooming in his chest. Lips turned down at the corners, and not quite sure what had happened, nor what this heavy feeling in his stomach was, Mark turns back to Donghyuck and raises his eyebrow.

“Oh?” he asks, leaning in so he can be heard, “Is Taemin- hyung your type?” with his heart beating painfully in his chest, thudding so loudly Mark is surprised it can’t be heard over the music.

Donghyuck considers this for a moment, pressing his finger against his lip as he considers. It’s clear when he comes to a decision because the corner of his lips turn up, his eyes lighting up, “Yeah!”

The pain gets worse. Mark subtly brings his hand up to rub it, pretending like he was scratching as he feigns interest. “Ah,” he says, looking away from Donghyuck, “I see.” Back on stage Taemin has started his next performance, something dark with heavy bass that makes the floor vibrate and feels his heart sink low in his chest as Taemin rolls his hips and smirks at the audience. There was no way Mark could ever compete with that, Taemin oozed sex, and he was still a barely legal guy who still got pimples.

“How about you?” Donghyuck asks from his side, clearly not picking up on how much Mark didn’t want to talk about this right now. “Any male idols here you’d – ya know.”

It’s not a question he really wants to answer, but anything is better than watching Taemin right now. Desperately he tries to think of someone as he scans the crowd of countless idols, trying to find someone that would at least get Donghyuck off his back, when his gaze lands on EXO who had just returned from getting changed after their performance. Immediately he finds Minseok, the shortest in the group, in a silk shirt that was open just enough to show some tanned skin, a blazer over top and some illegally tight pants.

“Minseok-hyung,” Mark blurts, “I – I like Minseok- hyung a lot.”

Donghyuck makes a surprised sound from next too him, but Mark doesn’t want to look at him right now, not with this uncomfortable feeling in his chest. “Minseok- hyung?” he repeats and then, after a brief pause adds, “I guess that makes sense, at least you don’t have to worry about him being so much taller.”

Normally at a comment like that Mark would launch into the attack, ready to fight Donghyuck for calling him short when the sandy blond was practically the same height, but instead he just shrugs and settles back into his chair, still refusing to look Donghyuck in the eye. Donghyuck, despite being his best friend, was also incredibly clueless at times and took that as the conversation being over; instead turning in his seat to pester Youngho, leaving Mark alone.

It’s stupid, Mark knows, and he hates this feeling his chest, hates not knowing what it means. For the rest of the night he’s lost in his thoughts, not paying any attention to the performances nor to other members trying to talk to him. When it comes to the end, a little past midnight, Mark sticks close to Taeyong and pointedly sits beside him in the van; missing the look Donghyuck gives him as he settles in the back beside Taeil.

-

It’s quiet in the dorms. Everyone else is out, for once, doing what they wanted on one of their days off, leaving Mark and Donghyuck alone in the dorm. They had ended up the couch with some movie on in the background, an English one much to Donghyuck’s complaints, with Mark on his back and his head propped up on a cushion and Donghyuck lying on top of him so that they were chest too chest. Mark had basically forgotten about that weird feeling in his chest that he had experienced that night at the awards, read: purposely pushed it to the back of his head and ignored it, and had welcomed Donghyuck back; not that the sandy blond had noticed that anything was wrong.

The movie had long been forgotten. Instead the two had been lazily kissing for the past hour, all warm and wrapped up in each other, the quiet sound of their lips moving together the only other noise other than the movie. It wasn’t even to get them all worked up, instead the two were just enjoying their time alone and being close; they rarely got time alone other than in their rooms in the morning and at night, and even then there was the possibility of being walked in on, so being able to lie out here in the open was nice.

Donghyuck is the first to break away, laughing when Mark tries to keep him there by finding Donghyuck’s hips under the covers and placing a finger over Mark’s lips. “The others will be back soon,” the sandy blond looks towards the clock to confirm this, but Mark doesn’t bother and just grips Donghyuck tighter as he lets out a displeased groan. “We should stop before we get too distracted to notice the others coming home.”

Mark smirks, “Are you saying I’m distracting?” he asks.

The smack on his chest is deserved, but it still hurts, and Mark pouts as he rubs at the spot. Donghyuck however is completely unbothered and settles so that he’s comfortable, his head resting on the black-haired males’ chest. The movement brings the soft scent of the shampoo Donghyuck uses, and it takes everything Mark has not to lean in and sniff the sandy blond’s hair, instead settling for playing with it as he too turns to the movie and tries to pay attention.

“Who’s that?” Donghyuck suddenly asks, referencing an actor on the screen. Mark squints, unsure because right now there were two people, and when he takes too long to reply Donghyuck adds, “The guy.”

“Oh,” that feeling was back, the unsettling feeling in his chest. “Jason Mamoa, why?”

Donghyuck snickers, “No reason.” And falls silent again, presumably watching the movie and leaving Mark to stew quietly with this heavy feeling in his chest. He looked nothing like the actor in question, where Mamoa had muscles and abs he instead was skinny and lean, and although Mark knew he was being stupid he couldn’t shake the feeling in his chest, the unease as he watched the actor on screen; all of a sudden it felt wrong to have Donghyuck lying on his like this, and all Mark wanted to do was get away, but there was no way he could without Donghyuck questioning him and so he stays there and hoped the others would come home soon.

-

It’s late, past midnight, and Mark is wide awake walking down the street to the nearest 24-hour convenience store. He couldn’t sleep, going over and over things in his head for almost three hours, tossing and turning in bed until he had finally given up and gotten out of bed to come and have some late-night ramen. No one else had been awake in their dorm, and although Mark knew he really shouldn’t be wandering the streets alone, he had still made sure to dress so that no one would recognize them and toe on his shoes before exiting the dorms.

There was no one around as he walked, the streetlights creating a golden glow through the slight fog. Mark tucks his chin into his hoodie as he walks, his hands deep in his pockets and his shoulders hunched to protect him against the slight cold as he hurries down the street to get there as quickly as possible.

Because he had his chin tucked in, his cap low over his eyes, Mark missed the couple walking up the street towards him until they were one streetlight away from them, the shadow of their bodies catching in Mark’s peripheral and startling him. He looks up, his apology already halfway out his lip, when the two look up as well and Mark immediately recognizes who they are.

“Oh, hey.” Donghyuck says, an easy smile on his lips when he recognizes Mark, and beside him Jeno gives his own greeting, but the black-haired male doesn’t respond; he’s too busy staring at where Donghyuck and Jeno are holding hands, their fingers intertwined.

Donghyuck doesn’t notice anything. Or, at least, he pretends not too, leaving Mark to be the one to have to quickly clear his throat and reply,

“Hey,” so that it seems like nothing is wrong. Feigning indifference Mark reaches up to rub the back of his neck and pretends to look around before adding, “What’re you guys doing out this late?”

The response he gets is deserved; Mark knows. Donghyuck raises the little plastic bag they were holding so that it was in view, rattling it a little so that Mark could hear what was saying, all while arching his eyebrow. “We were just getting snacks so we can watch a movie.”

 _‘A movie you weren’t invited to watch.’_ Mark’s brain supplies, none too helpfully.

“Oh, cool,” Still pretending like he didn’t care, even though his heart was beating uncomfortably in his ribcage, chest feeling weirdly tight. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

Donghyuck opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, Mark sees him do it, even, and for a second Mark’s heartbeat spikes, thinking that the sandy blond was going to invite him too, only for Donghyuck to close his mouth again. It would be funny, really, how quickly Mark’s heart sunk again if only it didn’t hurt so damn much. With nothing more to say Mark murmurs a goodbye before stepping around the pair, hurrying away from the scene with his hands pushed into his pockets and his head hung low, determined not too look.

It doesn’t work. When he reaches the corner, Mark spares a glance to the side, back up the street to where Donghyuck and Jeno had been standing, and immediately regrets it. They’ve moved on too, clearly wanting to get home, without even a backwards glance; but even from here Mark is able to see how Donhyuck still has his hand firmly wrapped in Jeno’s.

-

Mark is a little colder to Donghyuck after that. He doesn’t mean too, he really doesn’t, but he just can’t shake that painful feeling in his chest whenever the younger so much as looks at him, let alone touch his hand or try and get close. He tries to work through it, tries to understand what the feeling meant, and why he was experiencing it, but Mark had very limited life experience with being friends with benefits, let alone dating, and so he was completely stuck. Mark was aware that there were people he could go too, he’s been told countless times from many of his Hyung’s that if anything was bothering him Mark could go to them, but this was something that Mark felt was beyond what they were willing to help him for; plus he felt kind of embarrassed about his feelings, like he was a child because he didn’t understand.

He just didn’t know what this tight feeling in his chest was, nor why it was even making an appearance whenever he saw Donghyuck with their friends. Mark knew he liked Donghyuck, he had come to that conclusion, but he had been acting on it like it was nothing, like they would keep fucking around until one day they had had enough and would stop; and Mark would be able to look back at them fooling around, to reminisce, but then Donghyuck would find someone he actually liked and Mark would just be that _‘one friend Donghyuck fucked around with a long time ago.’_

Unfortunately, the timing couldn’t have been worse for Mark to try and figure this all out. With no comeback scheduled in the near future, NCT were instead scheduled to go spend three days in the woods left completely to their own devices and expected to film it all themselves, before flying off to Shanghai for a small performance that NCT had been invited too. 

Mark is practically on autopilot during the next morning’s meetings, not really listening as their managers went over the details of what would be happening while they were camping, what was expected of them, the kind of small ‘games’ the members were expected to participate in; however much to all of their surprise, and Mark’s when he actually tuned in to listen for a second, was that they were really free to do whatever they wanted too.

On the other side of the room Donghyuck seemed much more interested and although Mark wished he didn’t, the black haired male really couldn’t resist sneaking glances over at Donghyuck. When everyone had first filed in Donghyuck had tried to sit next to him, he hadn’t caught onto Mark’s weird behavior from a couple of nights before at all, but Mark had quickly taken a spare seat between Yuta and Taeyong, leaving Donghyuk to sit beside Doyoung; still, Mark didn’t miss the confused look Donghyuck sent him, nor the small downturn of his lips.

The trip is scheduled for the next day, meaning that as soon as they got home it was packing time. Mark found solitude in his room, Doyoung had disappeared to help Taeyong pack which was really just code for them to sit and talk for hours on end, humming mindlessly to his music as he packed his own bag. Normally he would be one of the last, too busy messing around ‘helping’ Donghyuck pack and vice versa, but Donghyuck was the last person Mark wanted to see right now (or so he told himself that) and so here he was packing on time for once.

Donghyuck, however, didn’t get the memo. Mark had just finished packing some sweatpants when there’s a knock on the door and he looks up, mouth already open to tell whoever it was to come in, when he spies Donghyuck lingering in the doorway.

“Oh,” Mark’s words die on his lips. “Hey.” On cue his heart rate picks up at the appearance of Donghyuck, despite Mark really wishing it wouldn’t.

Donghyuck offers his own, “Hey,” as he walks in, taking a spot on Doyoung vacated bed. “Are you packing already? Usually we’re the last.” As he talks he leans back on his hands, legs crossed underneath his body, and Mark hates how he tracks the long line of Donghyuck’s neck when the younger stretches it out before Mark makes himself look away.

“Yeah well,” Reaching for a tee shirt Mark folds that so he doesn’t have to look at Donghyuck, “I wasn’t doing anything, so I thought I’d pack early.”

“Boring! ~” Donghyuck replies, surprising Mark enough to have him look up and meet the sandy blond’s gaze. “How about instead of that you come hang out with me and Jaemin? We’re gonna’ go to an internet café.” The look Donghyuck gives him is one that says he expects Mark to come with him, which, if Mark weren’t going through what his current problem, would have been his answer straight away.

Except he was going through his problem, was trying to sort it out, and just the thought of having to watch Donghyuck and Jaemin hang off of each other was already making his chest tighten uncomfortably. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t watch that, and so Mark shakes his head looks away so that Donghyuck can’t see his face.

“Nah, I’ll stay here,” Mark says, “Thanks, though.”

-

Mark makes a point not to sit next to Doyoung on the way to their camping spot that Friday morning, settling into his spot with his headphone already in and his hoodie up, chin tucked into the comfortable black material. Mark makes a point of not looking to see where Donghyuck sits, pretending like nothing was wrong however he’s also aware that no matter who Donghyuck sat next to Mark would get that damn feeling in his chest again. The ride itself was pretty uneventful, with Doyoung turning in his seat to instead talk to Youngho. They hadn’t managed to fit the whole group in one car, so instead they were split in two plus trailers on the back of each car with their supplies.

It’s not until the cars turn into the camping site that Mark pulls out his headphones and sits up, tucking his phone into his pocket as he watches out the window. The camp site had obviously been bought out for them, or at least one area of it and so the cars go all the way past the freedom camping spots and instead pull up in front of two cabins and a small outside area for cooking. It reminds Mark of the kind of camps he went on back in Canada, and when he finally steps out of the bus Mark notes how it oddly smells like it too; fresh air and pine needles, the dry smell of the soil under the hot sun.

“Listen up!” Mark looks up at the sudden sound of their managers voice, shuffling into the small half circle the other members had made and ending up beside Taeyong who leans on his shoulder. “The other staff and I are staying in the cabins up there, meaning that we’re leaving you guys completely alone for three days. It’s up to all of you to cook, do your own activities and anything else you want to do, all while filming yourself. Go it?”

Mark and the other members let out a small cheer, some more enthusiastic than others. It’s Doyoung who puts his arm up though, waiting for relative quiet before asking, “So we have to survive by ourselves? Basically.”

“Yes,” The manager smiles, “You have to survive by yourself. We do have first aid around, so don’t worry too much about getting hurt, and if you need anything we’re all up there. Although, we would prefer for you guys to try and survive as much as you can by yourself.”

“Got it,” Taeyong speaks up, “We’ll do our best.”

There’s a brief surge of activity as all the members move to grab their things from the trailers, plus the staff unloading their food and other necessities. After handing the keys to Taeyong, and making sure they have everything, their manager and other staff leave, and the members are left standing together in front of the cabins with their bags by their feet.

“Rock, paper, scissors to decide where we’re sleeping?” Donghyuck asks, peering around at the other members. Mark can’t help but look at him too, the first time he had looked at the sandy blond today, and notes how good he looked today; his hair kind of tousled from sleep, or Donghyuck running his hands through it, with ripped jeans clinging to his legs and a hoodie, that Mark realizes is his, over his smaller frame. He’s immensely glad that Donghyuck doesn’t catch him looking, the sandy blond too pre-occupied with looking around at the other members to make sure they agree and ends up having plenty of time to look away before Donghyuck’s gaze sweeps over him.

They all fill into a tighter circle, Mark somehow ending up with Donghyuck right across from him and so he makes sure to look towards Taeyong who was calling. The first round finds Taeyong and Sicheng in one cabin, and Doyoung and Jaehyun in the other; the second round finds Youngho joining Taeyong’s cabin and Yuta joining Doyoung’s; the second round ends up with Jungwoo in Taeyong’s cabin and Taeil in Doyoung’s.

Mark doesn’t really realize what was happening until he’s standing in front of Donghyuck, the two of them the only ones left, and looks up to meet Donghyuck’s mischievous smile. There was a chance that they would end up in the same cabin if this ended in a draw, there were enough beds, it was only if they had opposites that they would go into different cabins. Mark himself is torn, wanting to be in the same cabin as Donghyuck so that he can at least watch what the younger male does, even if that ends up in him torturing himself, or Donghyuck in a different cabin where Mark can’t see what he’s doing all the time.

“Rock! Paper! Scissors!” Taeyong calls suddenly, Mark responding maybe a second too late because he had been going over things in his head. He closed his eyes on the last pump downwards, not even sure himself what he had pulled, and around him cheers erupt into the tiny clearing.

Mark waits, heartbeat slowing till it pounds in his ears, trying desperately to think what outcome he wants more before finally opening his eyes and when he looks down he sees it;

He and Donghyuck had drawn.

“Same cabins!” Youngho calls from the side as he walks towards them, stretching out to wrap his arms over each of their shoulders. “I guess we’re all going to have to put up with Taeyong’s snoring together.”

“Oi,” Taeyong calls, “I do not snore!”

Youngho pulls away to tease Taeyong, Donghyuck pulling a face but following along under Youngho’s arm, leaving Mark standing there. There was heavy pit in his stomach again, sweat tickling underneath his armpits, as he continuously goes over his and Donghyuck’s draw. Mark isn’t sure if he’s excited or terrified at the thought of sharing with Donghyuck, but what he does know is that pit in his stomach.

-

With their cabins determined, Mark is one of the first to grab his bags and head into his. It was a basic cabin with three sets of double beds and a door leading into a small bathroom with a toilet and a sink, barely big enough to fit one person. Mark guesses the shower is somewhere else, or they were expected to clean themselves in the lake, as he takes the bottom bunk against the wall of the bathroom.

Slowly the others trickle in, Taeyong taking the bottom bunk across from him, Youngho coming in a second later and taking the top bunk, Sicheng comes in alongside Jungwoo and takes the bottom bunk leaving the top for Jungwoo. The more bunks that are taken up the more the hairs of the nape of his neck stand up, and when Donghyuck had finally walked in and took a long look around the room before finally landing on Mark’s set of bunk’s, Mark was about ready to get up and run.

Mark does run. As soon as Donghyuck takes a step towards his bed Mark jumps up and mutters something about checking out the lake, before booking it out of there as fast as he can. Yuta is outside when Mark hurries across their clearing, stepping past the fire pit, and hurrying down the trail towards the lake; if Yuta said something Mark doesn’t hear it, too focused on getting himself away. The further he walks the more his stomach hurts, the heavier it feels, and by the time he breaks through the line of trees and comes out onto soft sand Mark has to sit and clutch at it.

Despite himself, Mark feels tears watering up in his eyes, ones he quickly blinks back. God, he wishes he could just figure out what this pit in his stomach means, why it came up whenever he saw Donghyuck around someone else and what he could do get it to stop. All of a sudden Mark thinks of his mother, how she would know the answer, but she was so far away and Mark wasn’t even sure how he would start that conversation, ‘ _hey mum, I recently found out I like a boy but I get this heavy feeling in my stomach whenever I see him around someone else_ ’ – yeah, right, like he could say any of that.

When it starts getting too dark Mark heads back, walking slower down the track with the wind coming off of the lake against his back. The closer he walks the more voices he hears, and Mark can even see flames flickering through the trees, the firepit having obviously been lit in his absence. No one notices him as Mark initially breaks through the tree- line, but as he steps closer to the fire it’s not long until Mark is noticed.

“Hey,” Doyoung calls. Mark looks up and finds all the members in camping chairs around the fire, some dressed more warmly then others. “Where have you been? We’re about to start dinner.” The others are all looking at him too now, and Mark can’t help but feel a little self-conscious as he steps closer, hoping that his eyes didn’t look to watery in the light.

“Just down by the lake,” Mark steps closer as he replies, reaching for one of the free camp chairs leaning up against a tree and placing in the closest free space, not noticing who he’s putting his chair next too as he does. “I wanted to check it out.” As he talks he opens up the chair and lowers himself into it, it was kind of low to the ground, and only looks around once he’s sitting down. Thankfully, he had chosen a space between Taeyong and Jungwoo.

Taeyong inserts himself into the conversation, “Is it nice down there?” he asks, “I think we’re all going swimming tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Mark turns to look at him, smiling lightly. “It’s a sand beach.”

Everyone starts talking at once, excited at the prospect of a sand beach and effectively taking the attention away from Mark. This gives him a chance to look around the group to see where everyone is, doing so as subtly as possible, and finally finds Donghyuck directly across the fire from him. He had caught Donghyuck in a moment where the younger was looking away, but before Mark can look away again so that he’s not caught looking Donghyuck looks back and catches his gaze; the fire reflects in Donghyuck’s eyes, turning them from a soft brown to deep pools of golden- brown and making him look oddly older, more wicked and wild and Mark would be a liar if he said it didn’t send a deep pang throughout his body.

Mark finds that he can’t look away, finding that despite all of the inner turmoil he had inside of him he felt warm inside again. while he’s staring Donghyuck smiles at him and winks, showing off his teeth, and it feels like Mark had swallowed a handful of butterflies. Suddenly Mark was aware of how much he missed Donghyuck, how much he missed just them hanging out even without all the kissing and touching, how he missed having someone he could just talk too and fool around with, and it was the sudden guilt that came with the realization that he himself was the reason he had lost that that had Mark looking away again. He couldn’t have any of that until Mark figured out what was going on with him, what that sinking feeling in his stomach meant, even how depressing it was that he had lost a friend.

The night progresses quickly. Tomorrow was their only full day to do whatever they wanted, as they went home Sunday, and everyone was kind of tired from travelling down and getting everything set up. The oldest were in charge of cooking dinner on the outdoor BBQ while everyone else talked, at one point Mark looks over and sees Yuta pull some beers out of the chiller before meeting Mark eye, winking, and putting the beers back away. Tomorrow night was obviously going to be wild.

It wasn’t long before they were all in their cabins. Mark had quickly gotten changed in the bathroom, something he hardly ever did, and gotten into bed and was now very firmly keeping his gaze on his phone instead of watching Donghyuck who was getting changed into pj’s at the end of the bed as he talked to Youngho. They had no service and so Mark hoped his game was distracting enough, however as he lost the game he was playing for the fourth time and put it down on his lap with a loud sigh Mark looks up without thinking and goes still.

Donghyuck has his arms up, reaching for something on his bed, leaving Mark at perfect eye level to see the miles of golden skin as Donghyuck’s shirt had ridden up. How bad he wanted to reach out and touch, to mark up that toned skin with his fingers, with his mouth, to leave open mouthed kisses against Donghyuck’s adonis belt where he knows the sandy blond is the most sensitive until Donghyuck was whining and begging and tugging at Mark’s hair. Quickly Mark feel too hot under the cover, it had been so long since he and Donghyuck had messed around, let alone Mark touching himself, and he subtly brings his legs up underneath the covers.

As he watches Donghyuck lowers his arms, cutting off Mark’s gaze. Feeling a little disappointed, but also feeling a little pervy, Mark is prepared to look away only to be drawn back to watching when Donghyuck undoes his jeans and sticks his thumbs into his waistband to begin pushing them down; exposing the sandy blond’s black underwear. It’s when Donghyuck gets his jeans off of his hips and the beginning of his covered member comes into view that Mark finally does look away, tucking his chin into his hoodie and quickly picking up his phone again, bringing his legs up higher underneath the covers.

Mark keeps his eyes on his phone until Donghyuck is safely in the bunk above of him, lights off having been called, before finally putting it away on charge. Jungwoo and Sicheng are still busy whispering to each other, Youngho joining in as quietly as he could, and Mark half listens to them as he turns and faces the wall and tries to fall asleep, the heat in his veins still present. At some point Mark thinks he hears his name being called, but it’s too late and he’s already falling asleep.

-

Mark wakes up early the next morning to birdsong, gentle golden light shining through a gap in the curtains and falls onto his bed. For a second Mark forgets where he is and thinks he’s back in his dorm, sitting up and expecting to see the normal surrounding of his room only to see the cabin room and ultimately being confused before everything comes back to him from yesterday. Now that he pays closer attention, still blinking sleepily around at the room, he can hear the other five people in the room still breathing heavily, some even snoring.

As quietly as possible Mark climbs out of bed, hissing at the freezing cold wooden floorboards underneath him that he can feel even through his socks, and slips into his shoes before quietly exiting the room. It’s a lot brighter out here, the sun already mid height in the sky and a cool breeze coming through the trees making Mark glad he was already wearing a hoodie. It takes a couple of seconds for Mark to realize he’s not alone out here as he blinks against the brightness, rubbing away the sleep in his eyes.

“Hey,” Jaehyun says as he slowly stands up from where he had been getting the fire going again, placing a pot of water over top of it for hot drinks later. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” Mark steps down from the cabin, wanting to take one of the seats, only to notice a white envelope sitting on the makeshift wooden table they have and quickly changing his path. “What’s this?” he asks as he picks it up, turning so he can brandish the envelope at Jaehyun.

Jaehyun shrugs, “Don’t know. The staff dropped it off earlier. We’re supposed to open it all together. Oh-“ he pauses from where he had been starting up the BBQ to pick up a go pro, making sure Mark sees it before passing it too him; they’re lucky it was only a short pass, otherwise Mark definitely would have dropped it. “Don’t forget to record yourself, we’re all supposed to do it.”

Mark looks up from the camera, “Have you?” he asks.

“Yeah, I did it as soon as I woke up.”

Mark nods, walking back to his seat as he opens up the camera. He fiddles with it a little, contemplating about what he would say as he gets comfortable, but before he gets to start filming Mark is stopped.

“Hey,” Jaehyun says, voice quieter than usual. Mark looks up, wondering if someone else had woken up only to find Jaehyun’s attention on him. “Are you OK?”

Immediately panicked, Mark stutters, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

Jaehyun puts down his tongs and leans against the table, making a point to look at Mark directly. “You’ve been kind of quiet lately, I think everyone has noticed. Even Donghyuck came and asked if you were OK.”

Oh wow, that kind of hurt. Ignoring the tightening in his chest, Mark leans back in his chair and nods, “Yeah,” he says. “I’m fine. I guess I’ve just been kind of out of it lately.”

It’s obvious Jaehyun doesn’t believe him. Still maintaining eye contact Jaehyun leans forwards some more, voice even quieter so that only Mark can hear it. “You can talk to me, Mark. I know you prefer to talk to Youngho, or Taeyong, or any of your other hyung’s, but I just wanted you to know you can talk to me too.”

Feeling a little guilty, Mark nods. He forgets so often that Jaehyun came from kind of the same background, that he, Mark and Youngho were all together in being English speakers, when he was feeling down because he was so used to going to Youngho that he often forgets every else still had his back.

“I know,” Mark says, switching to English. “Thanks, Jaehyun.”

They both fall silent, Mark idly playing with the camera in his hands. Jaehyun goes back to cooking, know everyone will be awake soon. Jaehyun’s words circle in his head, and Mark is suddenly struck with the urge to try and get through this, to maybe find the start of the answer to how he’s been feeling. It takes everything for him to gain the confidence to open his mouth again, to just start a conversation, going back and forth in his head of how it was stupid and he was being stupid too, that he was worrying about nothing; to that maybe Jaehyun had some inkling of an answer, that maybe he could help.

“Hey uh,” Mark finally speaks, forcing the words out before his brain can catch up and stop him. He sticks to English just in case someone came out and overheard them, knowing he would have a couple of seconds grace in which that person most likely wouldn’t understand and Mark could switch back to Korean and pretend that nothing serious was being talked about. “Can I ask you a question?”

Jaehyun, who seems to have been waiting for it, nods, and replies, “Of course you can.” While Mark gets the courage to speak he closes the lid of the BBQ, stepping around it and the table to come and sit in the chair next to Mark, body language neutral in a way that Mark realizes later is so that Mark would feel comfortable opening up.

There was really no way to ask without giving away what was happening in Mark’s life, but he still tries his best to give away as little description as possible. “Have you ever, like, felt really shitty when one of your friends starts talking about other, uh, people a lot to you? Or hanging around other people?” He sounds like a dumbass, Mark is fully aware of this, but it seems like Jaehyun gets what he means.

“Shitty?” Jaehyun repeats, “Shitty how?”

Mark doesn’t want to explain the way his stomach sinks, or the heaviness, so he just shrugs. “I don’t know,” Mark says, “Just in general, shitty.”

“Mm,” Jaehyun leans back in his seat, his head tilted as he examines Mark. “I think,” he starts slowly, “maybe you just miss them? That’s perfectly normal when your friends are close with other people too, and I know in groups like ours it’s easy to have a lot of people you’re close too.”

Miss them. Was that right? Sure, Mark missed Donghyuck and he wished that they could talk more, could hang out more and be like they had used to be before all of this started, before they all started fooling around, or hell even just hang out more even after everything that had happened; but that doesn’t seem right, this feeling in his stomach doesn’t seem to just be because he missed Donghyuck, it was far too painful for that. At least Mark can tick that off as what this was, that he wasn’t just missing Donghyuck, that this was something more.

Jaehyun is still waiting, watching Mark quietly. “Possibly,” Mark finally admits, “It could be just that I miss them a lot.”

Leaning forwards, Jaehyun pats Mark’s knee. “You could hang out with them more, spend some more time with them, maybe that’d help.”

“Yeah,” Mark says, nodding back. “Thanks, hyung, I think you helped.”

As Jaehyun gets up more members start slowly coming out of the cabins, all messed up hair and puffy eyelids. As the kettle starts boiling Mark works on making people hot drinks while Jaehyun cooked until Taeyong comes out, looking far too awake for this hour, and takes over the hot drink making for the members. In that time Mark gets up and walks off to film for the morning, explaining where they were and what they were doing today along with some other things; as he’s away he can hear more members coming out from their cabin, their voices becoming louder as everyone wakes up some more, and by the time he’s finished filming and Mark comes back into the clearing everyone is awake.

“Mark!” Doyoung calls almost as soon as he appears, waving the black haired male over. In his hand is the envelope from earlier and he holds it up so that Mark can see, “Did you see this already?”

“Yeah,” Mark replies as he takes a free chair, accepting the hot drink that Taeyong offers him from the seat beside Mark. “I saw it earlier. I didn’t open it though, Jaehyun said the staff told him that we all have to open it together.”

“Well, we’re all here now,” Doyoung says, “I’m opening it.”

Mark sits back and watches, as do the other members, as Doyoung tears into the envelope and peers into it before turning it upside down. From the envelope a set of keys land on his palm, and a letter falls halfway out that Doyoung grabs after dropping the keys onto his lap, unfolding it, and pausing for a second before beginning to read.

“NCT127,” he starts, “Here are the keys to a shed full of activities for a day at the beach. Don’t forget to self- vlog. Enjoy!” Doyoung puts down the letter, looking back at the members, “Well, that was short and sweet. Guess we’re having a beach day.” His eyes crinkle up as he smiles, picking the keys off of his lap and twirling them around his finger. Around him everyone starts talking, Mark included. It’s been so long since Mark had spent a day on the beach, and a light bubbly feeling rises too his chest and he thinks about being able to swim and play around with the others, a large grin pulling at the corner of his lips. Today was going to be great. 

“Everyone!” Taeyong calls louder than everyone around them, startling Mark, and around them everyone quietens down, “Let’s at least finish here and then we’ll go. Sounds good?”

Instead of reply, he’s met with cheers, Mark raising his cup above his head and joining in. Everyone continues chatting about today as Mark hurriedly starts to drink his coffee, wanting to get down to the beach, and he’s so excited about it that he forgets about the whole Donghyuck problem until he looks across the firepit and catches the sandy blond’s gaze from where he’s sitting next to Jungwoo, and that tight feeling in his chest starts to sneak through the light feeling. The conversation Jaehyun had with him in the morning echoes in his head, was it just that he missed Donghyuck?

As Mark stares across, purposely keeping eye contact, he realizes. No, the feeling in his chest isn’t just because he misses Donghyuck, he does miss him a little but that’s what’s not prominent, this was something different; something Mark was still yet to figure out. Finally, he looks away, refusing to let all of this get in the way of enjoying a day at the beach, and breaks into conversation with Yuta.

-

An hour later, Mark is sprawled out on a towel. It’d quickly grown hotter since the morning, the sun trekking its way across to it’s current resting place near the high point of the sky. The heat was a little stifling with the absence of a strong breeze, hence the umbrella currently harpooned in the sand at the head of his towel in an attempt for Mark to try and stay cool, the sand not helping as it was reflecting the heat; yet Mark was still enjoying it.

They had found water guns, floaties, beach balls, umbrellas, a whole volleyball set and lots of other things and everyone was taking full advantage of them. He watches as Sicheng and Yuta mess around in the water, Yuta dunking Sicheng with a loud laugh only to be grabbed around the legs and dragged under himself. Jungwoo is busy hanging off of Youngho as he, Doyoung, Taeil and Jaehyun try and set up the volleyball set, not really helping in any way himself; and Taeyong is off by himself, floating in a lone inner tube on the lake clearly relaxing. Mark doesn’t really notice that someone is missing until that person clears their throat and settles onto a towel beside him,

“Hey.” Donghyuck says, face hidden behind a large pair of sunglasses. He stretches out on his towel, propping himself up on his arms as he looks at Mark. Mark tries his best not to look at Donghyuck’s bare upper body, his sun kissed shining with the remains of sunscreen, but he can’t help but peek a little; following the curves of Donghyuck’s collarbones, the lines of his toned stomach that wasn’t quite abs but was definitely firm, and the sunken skin of his adonis belt that Mark had to quickly tear his eyes away both from fear that he’d be caught and fear that he wouldn’t be able to stop fantasizing one he had started.

“Oh, hey,” Mark replies once he’s fought back some of the inner panic in his chest, hoping that he can at least have a normal conversation with the sandy blond instead of just running and hiding. He was getting to the point where even Mark was getting annoyed with himself, annoyed that he still hadn’t figured this out, annoyed that he was being held back from having Donghyuck as a friend; so, he at least wanted to try and have a conversation. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Donghyuck replies, “I came over here to annoy ya, can’t you tell?” he leans over to shove Mark with his shoulder, their towels so close that he barely has to move to touch Mark. From where they touch warmth spreads, and Mark really hopes that it doesn’t show on his cheeks.

“You’re pretty good at that already,” Mark teases, pushing back. “Just your face is enough to annoy me.” Without even realizing he was doing it, Mark was easily falling back into conversation with Donghyuck like nothing had even ever happened between them, like Mark hadn’t been ghosting the younger male since Donghyuck started bringing up other guys and Mark had started getting the heavy feeling in his stomach.

Donghyuck pretends to be offended, mouth open and eyebrows high, before he’s growling, “Oh, you’re going to pay for that Mark Lee.” He gets up on his knees like he’s going to jump on Mark, hands reaching out to try and get a purchase. He’s barely even moved and Mark’s laughing, trying to shove Donghyuck away, raising his knees to try and stop the younger. It’s futile, Donghyuck just has a way of getting into people’s space, and so Mark had no chance in stopping Donghyuck from getting past his defenses and ending up on top of Mark.

Mark fights back, caught up in the moment, but Donghyuck has the upper hand. He’s got one leg over Mark’s leg, settling into space between both of Mark’s, and one hand holding down Mark’s arm forcefully at the wrist as the two fight with their one free hand before Donghyuck suddenly pauses.

Immediately Mark wishes he hadn’t. With Donghyuck’s pause Mark has time to think, and he’s suddenly far too aware of how having Donghyuck on top of him was making his heart pound painfully against his chest, how the warmth in his veins freezes and his stomach sinks. They’re close, far too close, and if this were any other normal day Mark wouldn’t care at all that Donghyuck was this close, in fact he would gladly get closer, but it wasn’t any other day and Mark had this weird _thing_ going on and right now he really couldn’t deal with Donghyuck being this close.

“I- “Donghyuck smells like oranges and sunflowers, his face so close that his breath washes across Mark’s face, “Did I do something. I- “

Mark’s heartrate speeds up, pounding so loudly against his chest he’s afraid Donghyuck will be able to hear it. He doesn’t want Donghyuck to continue, doesn’t want to open up that bag of emotions that Donghyuck is prodding at, doesn’t want to have that conversation. Not here, not right now, not while he’s pinned under Donghyuck while the younger male smells so enticing.

Something out there must be listening, because suddenly there’s a call from the left.

“Mark! Donghyuck! Stop messing around and come play!”

Mark’s never moved so fast. He pushes Donghyuck off a little too roughly, standing upright before he even really knows who had called for him. Beside him Donghyuck stands too, although a little more slowly, and Mark feels a wave of guilt as he looks at the small frown pulling at the corners of Donghyuck’s mouth.

“Sorry,” Mark says, “Here.” He offers out his hand for Donghyuck to take, worrying more than he had hurt Donghyuck’s feelings than he had hurt him physically.

Donghyuck looks at him, mouth still pulled tight. Three long seconds pass and every second that passes doubt, insecurity, fills Mark’s body.

“It’s OK.” Donghyuck finally says, “Don’t worry about it.” but instead of grabbing Mark hand he grabs the black haired males’ wrist.

Mark tries his best not to think too much into it as he leads them over to the volleyball team, having realized that it was Youngho who had called out to them, but he can’t help that sinking feeling in his chest. He had fucked up, not a huge fuck up but he had still fucked up and now it wasn’t just their relationship at danger, the cracks in their friendship were starting to show.

-

By noon everyone was worn out. There had been large umbrella’s in the storage room, a small miracle, so everyone was crowded around on their towels in the shade to try and keep out of the sun. Donhyuck, however, was out in the water on a tube with his hat over his eyes. Despite getting along well enough to be teammates during the volleyball game, Mark couldn’t help but notice the slight cold air around Donghyuck, the way the younger would refuse to fully meet his gaze and the way his smile wouldn’t quite reach his eyes. It was off-putting, meaning that Mark couldn’t quite enjoy the game, nor could he fully relax here in the shade; his eyes constantly finding Donghyuck’s prone form out on the water.

Too deep in his own head, Mark misses the first call from Taeyong on his right. It’s not until the older male shook his shoulder that Mark finally snapped out of it, startling a little before turning to meet Taeyong’s questioning gaze.

“We were talking about having lunch out here,” Taeyong supplies, “You OK with that?”

“Y-yeah,” Mark stammers, his brain still not fully caught up with his mouth. “I’m fine with that.”

Taeyong nods and stares at Mark for a little longer, as though prompting for him to say more, however when Mark fails too he just offers a small smile before turning his head to talk to Doyoung and leaving Mark alone.

Relieved that Taeyong hadn’t noticed anything wrong, or if he had at least he hadn’t asked what was up, Mark turns his head again to find Donghyuck out on the water only to find the sandy blond now striding through the water towards him. Because he had sunglasses on, it was impossible to tell who Donghyuck was looking at but Mark was wearing sunglasses too, meaning that he was (relatively) free to appreciate the way the water run off of Donghyuck’s golden skin as he stepped up onto the beach, leaving it glistening in the midday sun.

It’s no surprise that Donghyuck ignores him in favor for going and sitting next to Taeil, despite his towel being beside Mark. It hurts, a stinging feeling quickly growing in Mark’s chest and his stomach feeling heavy. Although Mark had made a promise to himself just earlier today to try and still be close with Donghyuck as he worked through his feelings, and as he figured out what it was exactly what he was feeling, it was hard to gain enough courage to stand up and walk over to Donghyuck when just a month ago it would have been nothing.

-

By five in the evening everyone had had enough. After lunch everyone had broken off to do activities in groups or to relax, Mark choosing to go for another swim that had quickly turned into a water fight when Jungwoo had dunked him, before taking refuge up on his towel to lie in the sun for a couple of hours.

With the heat of the afternoon sun slowly beginning to sink beyond the horizon, the boys packed up everything up and slowly made their way back to camp. Mark had put his tank top on, not enjoying the way the cotton rubbed against the red patch of skin on the nape of his neck where he had missed when putting on sunscreen, his towel haphazardly slung over one shoulder; the chilly bin held tight in his other hand.

Once they had returned to camp Mark put the chilly bin down and quietly made his way indoors, ignoring Donghyuck who was laughing as he flicked his towel at Jaehyun, looking to change into new underwear and shorts and by the time Mark had made his way back outside everyone was already getting ready to cook dinner.

“Mark,” Donghyuck calls from beside the BBQ, squatted low to the ground next to Youngho who was trying to get the gas bottle to work. “Can you and Donghyuck go to the shed and see if there’s another gas bottle in there? This one isn’t working.”

Which, really, was no problem, Mark was more than willing to help if it meant he would be fed. However, going with Donghyuck _was_ a problem. Mark opens his mouth, going to say that he could most likely go alone, when Donghyuck’s voice picks up from where he’s standing a few feet away.

“Sure, we can do it. Come on, Mark.”

 _Fuck._ Taking in a deep breath and hissing it out through his teeth, resisting the urge to reach up and pinch the bridge of his nose, Mark nods and begins following behind Donghyuck, the younger male not even looking back to make sure that Mark was following him. The shed wasn’t too far away, barely a five minute walk, but it was through the forest a bit and so as soon as they’re through the line of the trees the noise from the other boys fade out and Mark is left in relative silence.

Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like Donghyuck wants to talk either, leaving Mark alone to this thoughts accompanied by nearby birdsong and the sound of cicadas chirping; it’s cool under the trees, the sunlight filtering through the green shrubbery, but Mark finds he’s still sweating as a bead of sweat breaks off from his hairline and paths down the nape of his neck. By the time they’re at the shed a part of Mark’s back is damp with sweat, whether it be the heat, or his nerves Mark wasn’t sure, but he’s stays silent as Donghyuck opens the shed and steps inside, leaving Mark outside.

Other than the sounds of Donghyuck rummaging around and the sounds of nature, it’s silent. Mark licks his lips, finding the skin dry, and jumps when Donghyuck finally breaks the silence by calling out.

“I found it. Come help, it’s heavy.”

Entering an enclosed space with the very person who was making him so confused didn’t sound like a great idea, but there wasn’t any way that Mark could get out of this. Breathing in deeply, Mark tries to settle the way his heart was starting to pound in his chest as he stepped through the doorway of the shed.

It’s dark in here, darker than it is outside, and so it takes a second for Mark’s eyes to adjust. After a second of blinking he’s able to see Donghyuck in the corner, crouched over a gas bottle and looking up at Mark expectantly. It’s somehow hotter in here than outside, making a cool sweat break out over Mark’s forehead as he ignores his unsettled stomach and steps over towards Donghyuck; crouching down wordlessly to wrap his hands around the base and get a grip.

“Lift.” Donghyuck commands and at the same time they begin lifting, Mark having to switch his grip on the bottle when he finds it was heavier than usual before the two begin walking out of the shed. Mark kind of expected Donghyuck to talk to him further, for the younger to start a conversation, but Donghyuck keeps silent as he kicks the door shut behind him and locks the door with one hand before they both begin on their way again.

It’s nerve wrecking. Mark can’t help but go over all the worst case scenarios in his head, each one worse than the other and before they’re even back between the trees there’s beads of cool sweat slipping down his temples. They’re walking side by side so at least Mark can keep his head forwards and pretend like he’s really interested in the forest, rather than having to looking at Donghyuck the whole time.

They make nearly the whole way back without saying a word, so close that Mark can start to hear the others talking and yelling through the trees, so close that a feeling of relief starts to come over him because it meant he was away from the danger of being alone with Donghyuck; when the sandy blond finally speaks.

“So, are you gonna’ explain what’s been happening with you? Or are we just going to ignore it some more?”

The question comes completely out of nowhere, so much so that it stills Mark in his tracks as he whips his head around to look at Donghyuck. In turn Donghyuck sighs and pulls the gas bottle away from Mark so that he can put it on the ground, then straightening up again. The way he looks at Mark is expectant, with one eyebrow cocked so high his forehead wrinkles.

Mark, however, is unable to speak. There’s a lump in his throat the size of a golf-ball and he’s between feeling like his stomach is so heavy it’s about to drag him down or like he’s about to throw up. He tries, oh god he tries, to get something, anything, out that would explain himself but he’s unable to even form a coherent word.

“Seriously,” Donghyuck starts, looking mad now. “Talk to me. You’ve been ignoring me, not wanting to hang out with me ever since we just sort of got comfortable,” there’s a little furrow between his eyebrows that Mark has this odd urge to kiss, to reach out and press away, but he just lets Donghyuck continue instead. “So, what is the problem? Did you get cold feet and not know how to tell me? Is it something I did?”

There’re no words, nothing Mark can say to explain, not even when he doesn’t understand yet. His flight or flight is beginning to kick in, making his shake in the spot as he clenches his fists together so hard his nails cut into his palms. Mark really should have known this was going to happen, should have known he would eventually have to have an answer or an explanation of what he had been going through, of why he felt this way whenever Donghyuck talked about other people; and, something he had barely even allowed himself to think, what it meant for their future.

“Mark!” Donghyuck was starting to look utterly furious, his whole body shaking, and his bottom lip drawn in between his teeth, “Tell me, what is wrong!?”

It’s too much. “I don’t know!” Mark snaps before he knows what he’s saying, all of it coming it out in some sick word- vomit that Mark isn’t sure is 100% coherent. “I don’t know, OK!? If I had an answer don’t you think I would tell you? I’ve been trying for weeks to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me, ‘Hyuck, but I just don’t know, and I don’t think I’ll ever know because nothing makes sense!” there’s blood underneath his fingernails, the sharp tang of copper in his mouth and his head is pounding, oh god is it pounding but it feels so good to get all this out and Mark doesn’t think he can stop.

“Ever since we started fooling around it’s all been great, but something changed and now I don’t know what it is that I’m feeling but I fucking hate it, I hate it OK? I really wanted to work past this and keep doing this but it’s just too much and I don’t understand, and I can’t ask anyone!”

“Mark.” Donghyuck reaches his arm out like he’s going to touch, his eyebrows furrowed but his eyes wide and expectant, like he knows what Mark was going to say next, like he hoped what Mark was going to say next was what he wanted to hear; but even Mark doesn’t know what that is. All he knows is the way his breathing is caught in his throat, a tight feeling in his chest that made it hard to breathe, and the weird ‘sinking’ yet ‘I’m going to throw up’ feeling in his stomach. These are all feelings that Mark doesn’t know the words for, doesn’t know how to work through them and doesn’t know what it was he even wanted if he ever managed to get through them.

“Don’t,” Mark snaps a little harder than he means too. His chest is heaving at this point and his head is beginning to swirl. He has to get away from here, he can’t do this, not like this. “I – I gotta – I’m sorry.”

Ignoring whatever it was Donghyuck replies Mark turns and starts hastily walking away, desperate to get out of the situation. When it’s not enough he starts walking faster and when that’s not fast enough, he jogs, then runs, until he’s sprinting through the forest; there’s small branches snapping against his forehead that are most likely drawing blood, as well as small rocks kicking up from underneath his feet to hit his legs but still Mark doesn’t stop. The wind rushes through his hair and cools the sweat on his body, but all Mark can hear is his blood pumping in his ears and all he can feel is the immense pain in his chest and the wetness on his cheeks.

When he breaks through the trees everyone turns and looks at him. Immediately Taeyong is on his feet, leader mode kicked into gear, but Mark simply pushes past him and everyone’s questioning looks in favor for hurrying into his cabin. He doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to pretend he’s okay and doesn’t want to explain to anyone how he was feeling; it was just too embarrassing, too much and Mark barely keeps himself in check long enough to get the door shut behind him and lock it, as well as pull the curtain so no one can look in, before he’s diving headfirst onto his bed and pushing his face into his pillow.

Mark’s not sure how long he lies there stewing. He thinks he hears Donghyuck come back into camp, he hears some raised voices, but they quickly quieten down before Mark can lift his head from the pillow and try to listen. No one comes in to see if he’s OK, although he supposes there’s nothing in here than could hurt him or that he could use to hurt himself, and that they were most likely letting him calm down.

It’s dark by the time Mark hears someone knock on the door. He’s calm enough now that Mark could stand to talk to someone, as long as it wasn’t Donghyuck, so he raises his head from the pillow and calls, “Come in.”

The sound of a key sliding into the lock reaches Mark’s ears, to be honest he had completely forgotten he had locked it before the door is slid open. In the brief moments it takes for whoever it was to come in Mark feels the nights breeze wash over him, cooling his overheated skin, yet he doesn’t look up from the pillow even as the person closes the door and pauses. A small sigh meets his ears before the person starts walking over, their footfall light on the wooden floor, but Mark still has no idea who it is until they’ve sunk into the empty space beside Mark’s hip and touch his back.

“Mark? Are you OK?”

Ah, it was Youngho. It makes sense the others would send him. Youngho was the person Mark was closest too aside from Donghyuck, therefore he was most likely going to be the one who could calm him down, was most likely the one who Mark would properly open up too and explain what was wrong with him.

“No,” Mark finally answers, seeing no point in lying. “I’m not.”

Youngho hums, patting his back gently before asking, “Can you sit up? It’s hard to understand you when you’ve got your face shoved into a pillow.”

Reluctantly, Mark does as he’s asked. Youngho doesn’t speak as Mark pushes himself up, wiping his face in what he hopes is subtle, before sitting cross legged. For added comfort Mark grabs his pillow and pulls it to his chest, refusing to look Youngho in the eye and instead focusing on a thread coming loose from the blanket underneath him by his foot.

“Now,” Youngho starts, his voice low and gentle. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong? You can go as slow as you want I don’t mind waiting till you get it all out.”

Mark doesn’t really want to explain everything, immediately thinking about how stupid it will all sound plus the fact that he’s kind of embarrassed he can’t work out his own feelings on his own. However, he also knows Youngho wouldn’t judge him, plus Mark would rather talk to Youngho first about all of this over anyone else in their group. Also, if he hadn’t figured it out by now by himself maybe Mark should come clean, maybe there was a chance Youngho would be able to at least tell Mark what was wrong and how could start to fix it.

It was hard though, getting any of it out and for any of it to make sense Mark would have to tell Youngho some back story which was embarrassing of itself. It was like telling your parent when you had been fooling around with someone, beyond embarrassing and it left you feeling kind of guilty, but Mark know he’s going to have too.

“I-“Mark tries to start, having to pause and clear his throat to get rid of the lump still lodged there. “I really don’t know how to start this without just coming out with it, so please can you like, just not ask questions?”

Despite not looking at Youngho, the short silence is very telling. “Sure,” Youngho eventually says. “I won’t judge you at all.”

The more he thought about it, the harder it was going to be to even get the words out. Mark knows this, knows it all too well, and so before he can mentally block himself he takes a deep breath and blurts,

“Donghyuck and I have been fooling around.” All while blood rushes to his cheeks and the tips of his ears, probably matching the sunburn he had on the nape of his neck. He keeps his gaze firmly on the blanket underneath him, picking at that thread with his fingers, while his heartbeat pounds in his ears as Mark waits for Youngho’s answer.

“Oh,” Youngho eventually says, “OK. Is that what all of this is about?”

It’s that question that finally gets Mark to look at and meet Youngho’s eye, his eyebrows pushing together. Really, Youngho wasn’t fazed by that sudden confession at all? It’s useless to try and get a read on his friend, not with the small smile Youngho was giving him, but Mark can’t help but wonder if it’s because Youngho did the same kind of thing once.

“Yes.” He eventually replies, forgetting that Youngho had even asked. With his confession out of the way Mark loses all the previous confidence he had had, causing him to slide his gaze off to the left, hands now pushing together on his lap.

“Hey,” Youngho says, voice still gentle as he reaches out and placed his hand on Mark’s calve. “You can go as slow as you want, remember? So as long as you still want to tell me, I’m here.”

Ignoring the slight, and sudden, sting in his eyes, Mark nods. There’s another long pause as he tries to think of what to say next, forming the words into sentences in his head in a way that he hopes makes sense until it’s all just a jumbled mess. There’s too much to say and trying to plan it before hand wasn’t working, so Mark goes for what he feels is right.

“We’ve been – uh, yeah,” he makes a sort of wide gesture, one that doesn’t make any sense, and immediately flushes before stumbling on. “And it was fine, for a while, once I got over thinking I was straight and everything-“another pause to lick at his dry lips, to twist his fingers together in his lap and then twist them apart gain. “Recently, though, whenever I see Donghyuck hanging around other people, or talking about other people, I get this sinking feeling in my stomach and this lump in my throat and I just – I’m really confused. I don’t know what it means.”

Slowly Mark trails off until he just stops talking all together, half by expecting some kind of negative reaction from Youngho, half by expecting himself to have to run to the bathroom and throw up. None of that happens and surprisingly, Mark feels better. Not a lot better but better, like a tiny bit of the weight had been lifted off his chest; of course there was all the inner turmoil left there, worry, guilt, confusion, but loosing the small bit of weight made Mark feel powerful enough to be able to look up and meet Youngho’s eyes.

Only to immediately regret it. Youngho’s expression is a weird mixture of worry, a little sadness, and that same calm that makes Mark open to talk to him. When Youngho opens his mouth to reply Mark is tempted to reach across and slap his hands over Youngho’s mouth, before running out of there as quickly as possible and forgetting that this conversation ever happened. Instead he forcibly keeps himself in place, clenching his hands onto his knees as through to brace himself.

“Mark,” Youngho says, “It sounds like you’re jealous.”

“What?” Asks Mark incredulously. “I’m – I’m not jealous, I just-“ he trails off, unable to find the words to explain himself and the more he sits there and thinks the more a pit sinks into his stomach. There was no way, though, that couldn’t possibly be what he was feeling; he knows that Donghyuck was just close with the other members of their group that he hung out with, and he knew it was just passing admiration that Donghyuck had for people he found attractive. Mark had seen _jealous_ , he had seen it in movies where the male leads had gotten over the woman they liked hanging out with other guys, but he didn’t – there was no way, he liked Donghyuck but he didn’t _like_ Donghyuck like that he was just -

“Oh,” he says weakly. “Oh, fuck.”

Youngho stays quiet as Mark has his moment of realization. He looks back at Youngho, making direct eye contact, and weakly utters, “the – the sinking feeling, if that means I’m jealous does that mean I – _like like_ Donghyuck, that it’s not just some stupid little crush?”

“Well,” Youngho started slowly, “I kinda hoped we’d get there a little slower, but,” he pauses so that he can face Mark directly, pulling his long legs up underneath himself so that he was sitting cross legged and bowing his back because otherwise he would hit his head. “When you’re hanging out with Donghyuck do you get a sort of, warm feeling in your chest? Maybe your heart starts beating a little faster?”

Beyond embarrassed, and kind of wanting to back out of the conversation now, Mark nods. “Y- yeah,” he forces himself to say, thinking of all the times he and Donghyuck had simply been hanging out; whether they were playing video games, or lying in bed together just cuddling, or going down to the convenience store and their hands brush against each other. “I think I do – I’m pretty sure.”

Nodding, Youngho continues in a quiet voice, leaning in so that they’re closer. “Have you thought about being with Donghyuck more seriously? Like, if he asked to be your boyfriend or something do you think you’d say yes or no?”

Mark scrunches his nose, looking down at his lap. ‘Boyfriend’ was a big word, and it was a big thing to sort of just be throwing around, and so the way it makes his entire body feel entirely just too cold makes Mark uncomfortable. “I’m not sure,” he replies finally, honestly, as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth. “That’s a big thing to just be throwing around.”

“That’s alright,” Youngho leans back now. When Mark looks up Youngho meets the younger males gaze with a smile, one that makes Youngho’s eyes crinkle. “I guess this is a lot to process and you don’t have to figure it out all now. I think the sinking feeling you’ve been having means your jealous, and it sounds like you at least _like like_ Donghyuck a little, maybe not at a level of anything else yet,” he raises his hand when Mark goes to interject, “-which you don’t have to figure out just yet, whether you want to be with him or back off, as I said. So, at least, you can work from there.”

Nodding jarringly, and purposely ignoring the subject of _like liking Donghyuck (_ for now) _,_ Mark says, “Yeah, you’re right, huh-“ leaning back, Mark uses his arms to prop himself up as he instead turns his gaze to the underside of the bunk, letting out a dry laugh. “Jealous. Who would have thought?”

“It happens,” Youngho replies. “As long as you’ve recognized it and try and talk to Donghyuck to sort this out, I think you’re gonna be OK, Mark.” He reaches out and gently hits Mark’s arm in a weak punch, laughing when Mark frowns at him and tries to hit Youngho back only to have his arm slapped away.

Mark falls silent, thinking over what Youngho had said. The mere thought of talking to Donghyuck now made Mark want to shrivel up and die, made his insides turn into ice, but at least now he had something to go off of and try and to try and figure out, even if that meant more mental growth than Mark thought he was capable of right now. With a loud sigh he collapses back against the mattress and rests his hands on his lap, when had his life gotten so complicated? Everything was so much easier when he was oblivious, even if it meant he would have eventually had to try and figure it out one day.

“So,” Youngho bumps Mark with his foot, breaking Mark out of his reprieve. “You and Donghyuk have been fooling around, huh? I hope you’ve been safe.” Which would be kind and caring if it were coming from literally anyone other than Youngho at the moment and wasn’t asked in that teasing tone of his that Mark knew was accompanied by a smirk.

“Ugh,” Mark whines, “Don’t, I don’t wanna talk about _that_ with you like ever.”

“Eh,” Youngho says, “I kind of already knew anyways.”

It takes a little for what Youngho had said to register, but when it does Mark shoots up, snapping his gaze to meet Youngho’s lightning fast. “What!?” he asks, wincing when his voice cracks.

Youngho looks at him like he was downright stupid, one eyebrow raised, and his mouth pulled into a smirk. “Oh please,” he says, “You and Donghyuck start hanging out around each other more than usual, which I didn’t even know was possible. Plus, you guys start sneaking around at night and _then_ you come to me having a gay crises. I wasn’t born under a rock, Mark.”

Mark stares on, incredulously, as Youngho pauses like he’s done and then _keeps talking_.

“Oh, and then on that night when you went to the studio alone and said you’ll be home early only to come back late with Donghyuck in tow? Looking like you had been messed up in the best way possible-”

“OK! I get it! stop, stop, stop!” Mark hisses, reaching out to slap Youngho on the leg. Youngho takes one look at him, at the bright red on Mark’s cheeks and the wide eyed expression on his face, and bursts out laughing, leaving Mark to look away and glower at the wall.

“Sorry, sorry,” Youngho says, “I’m not trying to be mean, it’s just funny, I’ll stop.”

“Good. Sheesh.” Mark replies, still red.

“So, are you going to come out and join us?” Youngho asks once Mark had stopped blushing enough to meet his eye, although he still feels a little embarrassed. “We’re really bringing out everything seeing as it’s out last day, plus there’s beer.”

As much as Mark wants too, he can’t help but have flashbacks of his fight with Donghyuck just before; now that it’s passed and Mark could process it, he can remember the hurt in Donghyuck’s face as Mark had snapped, the way he had reached out to try and calm Mark down, the way he had tried to hard to get Mark to talk to him and Mark had just thrown it back in his face like all of this had meant nothing to him. Immediately a rush of guilt goes through him, his heart sinking in his chest. He had fucked up so bad, and the worse thing was Mark wasn’t even sure he was still ready to talk to Donghyuck again.

“I don’t know.” Mark replies honestly.

“Well,” Youngho starts slowly, “maybe being around the others will help you get your mind off of this for a second, at least until we get back to Seoul tomorrow. I can keep a close eye on Donghyuck and stay close to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Mark worries his bottom lip for a second longer, thinking it over, before finally he nods. He can talk to Donghyuck tomorrow when they get back to Seoul, tonight he should really focus on trying to enjoy their last night in relative freedom before they have to go back to their training and heavy schedule.

“OK,” he says, “Lead the way.”

They pause long enough for Mark to grab a jersey off of the floor, pulling it over his head and fixing it till it sat on his body right before following Youngho out the door. It had gotten cooler out here, but it was warm enough to still be wearing shorts, thankfully. As they exit the cabin Mark is momentarily blinded by the large fire in the middle of their circle of chairs, before his eyes adjust and he’s able to make out the others. Taeyong and Doyoung were working at the BBQ, with Jaehyun close by, leaving the others to all sit around the circle talking and drinking beers.

It takes almost two counts of the people outside before Mark realizes Donghyuck is missing, but everyone is too busy purposely not looking at him as Mark walks down the steps and more into the general common area that he feels awkward to ask; they obviously know something had happened between Donghyuck and him, Mark had come running out of the woods crying and without Donghyuck for gods sake.

“Where’s Donghyuck?” Youngho chimes in from beside him. At this the others do finally look up to look at the pair properly, rather than pretending like they didn’t see Mark and Youngho standing there. It’s hard to miss the worry in most of their faces, at least in the faces of the people who weren’t very good at hiding their emotions, and it feels like a small stab to the heart; he doesn’t know how much Donghyuck might have told them, whether the sandy blond had told them anything or not, but Mark definitely did not deserve that kind of worry when it had been him who had hurt Donghyuck.

“He went to bed early,” Taeyong says from his place beside the BBQ, looking Mark directly in the eye. “He said he wasn’t feeling well.”

There’s a split moment of silence where Mark feels as though something stabs him in the heart, his body starting to shake again, when suddenly Yuta speaks up from beside the fire. “He’ll be fine. Mark, Youngho, come have a drink, it’s going to be a _long_ night.”

Just like that it felt normal again. Well, normal enough. Mark steps forwards to the fire, still wanting to try and do his best to enjoy this last night and accepts a beer from Sicheng as he sits in one of the empty chairs with Youngho sliding into the chair next to him. The more beer Mark drinks the more he finds himself able to relax, eating till he feels like he’s about to burst and laughing his ass off as the groups conversation quickly changes from civilized to lots of drunk storytelling, embarrassing moments, and dirt they had on the other members; and it’s well past midnight when they let the fire burn down to embers and turn off all the other lights so they can stare up at the nights sky.

It’s then, as Mark’s watching the stars shine in the sky and the moon hum her gentle lullaby, that his eye catches a shooting star and amidst the chaos of the others all seeing it too and urging each other to make a wish, Mark quietly makes a wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading ! Please leave a KUDOS and a COMMENT if you'd like ! the next chapter is the very last chapter for this fic and I can't believe it's gone so fast . 
> 
> My tumblr: 2kitsuneao3 I mostly post links and updates to new fics / chapters coming out, but also feel free to come yell at me on there.


	7. Relief pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there ! now I know some of you might be looking at the 'pt.1' chapter title and already be wondering what the heck that's about - don't worry ! this final chapter actually ended up having a over 30k word count, so I decided that it might be a little easier to read if it's cut into two chapters; so don't fret ! this chapter and the next one are still technically the very last part of 'two bros'.

-

The next morning, Mark wakes up with a pounding head and his mouth feeling like the Sahara Desert. He groans weakly into his pillow as sleep slowly fades from him, forcing his eyes open and immediately closing them again with a hiss. Despite the curtains being closed the sunlight streaming through them was far too bright, quickly making the pounding in Mark’s head worse. While he lay there trying to decide whether he needed to bolt for the bathroom or if he was safe, Mark slowly went over what he could remember of last night.

The fire bright in his eyes, friends (but was someone missing?) dotted in chairs around him, the bitter taste of beer and the rich taste of meat; bright smiles and red flushed cheeks, loud voices and yelling and singing echoing around the small clearing, hackling as two figures broke away from the group to disappear into the brush, the scent of his hyungs and the gentle touch of a blanket, the final glimpses of fire licking against dry wood before his eyelids felt heavier than the world and Mark fell into unconsciousness.

There was something missing though, or was it someone? A shadowy figure, the faint sound of a voice in his head growing louder by the second, red eyes and hands clenched into a fist, harsh words thrown across a small space, sandy blond hair and white teeth slowly swimming into view only to disappear into smoke as soon as Mark reaches for them.

Mark bites back a sudden sob, eyelashes now wet. Donghyuck, it was Donghyuck.

The fight between them comes back slowly, but every second hurts more than the last, leaving Mark’s chest hollow and his stomach heavy. He hadn’t meant it, he hadn’t meant any of it, leaving Mark with the sudden urge to throw back his covers and stomp over to where he knows Donghyuck is in the second cabin; he gets halfway there, hand weakly grasping his blankets in an attempt to throw them back, before shame fills his body and Mark drops it again.

Donghyuck wouldn’t want to see him and even if he did, Mark doubts the younger male would have accepted any semblance of apology that somehow managed to escape Mark’s lips. Mark doesn’t even know where he would begin in apologizing. Despite his and Youngho’s conversation last night, which was also coming back to him just as slowly, Mark still was unsure about his feelings, unsure of where he wanted to go from here.

‘ _Jealous … liking Donghyuck …’_ slowly swims into his head. Mark sighs and squeezes his eyes together, gripping tight at the blanket underneath himself. It was too much to think of this early in the morning. Maybe he’ll think more about it at least once they’re home, where he can seclude himself to his room and hide himself underneath his blankets; maybe it’ll be there too where he can figure out how the hell he’s going to apologize to Donghyuck if he ever figures this out.

Right now, he needs some water and possibly some painkillers.

The effort to open his eyes again and push himself up leaves Mark groaning, fighting against the way his head was spinning and the bile threatening to climb up his throat. Somewhere else in the room a weak moan echoes him along with the sound of someone turning underneath bedsheets, prompting Mark to try and be more quiet as he climbs out of bed, hissing at the feeling of the absolutely ice cold floorboards underneath his feet, and stands on very shaky legs.

Still blinking against the light, Mark wakes his way to the door. He’s thankful that he had been put into his bed in his hoodie, although he was less excited about the jeans, when Mark steps outside and the cool morning air rushes to meet him.

“Morning,” someone calls softly from beside the firepit. Mark squints and makes out the blurry form of Taeyong nursing a cup of something hot, blankets pulled around Taeyong like he was wrapped in a caccoon. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please.” Mark rasps, wincing at the scratch it brings against his throat. Taeyong nods and stands to grab a cup for him, leaving Mark to stumble down the steps and pad across the dewy grass to sit in the nearest seat. While he waits Mark stares into the fire, still trying to find some semblance of humanity and ultimately startling a little when Taeyong suddenly appears at his side with a cup of coffee in one hand and pills in the other.

“Here,” Says Taeyong quietly, “the meds are for the headache you’re probably dying from.”

Mark has never been so thankful of Taeyong’s mothering as he takes the coffee and pills, offering the silver haired male a weak smile. In one go he pushes the pills into his mouth and, fighting the urge to gag, takes a swig of the coffee; Taeyong must have added extra milk, because it’s already a pleasant temperature rather than burning the shit out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you-“Trails off Mark, weakly pointing to his head, “Ya know?”

From across the fireplace he sees Taeyong smile and rolls his eyes a little, “I didn’t drink nearly as much as all of you last night,” he explains, “someone had to take care of everyone. Doyoung and I already decided we would when Sicheng was on his third beer before dinner.”

“Mom and Dad,” Mark says, more to himself than anyone but Taeyong must have heard because he huffs a little. “Thanks, anyways, for taking care of us.” It feels like all he’s done so far this morning is thank Taeyong. Whether it was for helping when Mark was drunk, or for putting up with Mark when he stormed into his cabin alone and ignored them all, most likely being the one to send Youngho in after him, Mark didn’t know. Either way, he was appreciative.

The two settle into silence for a bit. Mark slowly drinking his coffee and returning back to some semblance of a human, enjoying the sounds of the birds around them and the faint whisper of the waves hitting the beach just through the brush. He purposely keeps his thoughts away from Donghyuck, but every creak or soft sound from the cabins behind them sends a flight response through his body only to ultimately be relieved, or was it disappointed, when no one appears.

Mark should have known from the start that Taeyong wasn’t going to stay silent for long. It’s almost comical how it’s when Mark finishes his last sip of coffee when Taeyong clears his throat, getting Mark’s attention, before leaning forwards in his seat.

“So,” he starts quietly, “Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Donghyuck?”

Despite the hot coffee Mark had consumed a second ago, ice floods his veins again and his body breaks out in a cool sweat. Taeyong, oblivious to all of this, patiently waits for some kind of response but when Mark fails to respond fast enough his expressions softens further and he murmurs,

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too, just remember that I’m here to listen. Not just as your leader, but as a friend.”

Mark’s panic subsides a little, although he still finds himself a little short of breath. He knew rationally that Taeyong was someone he could confide it, that Taeyong had worked hard from the beginning to be more of a friend to them than a leader, however he still felt kind of silly after his outburst last night and from his realization after his talk with Youngho.

“Donghyuck,” Mark starts slowly, hating how his once best friends name got caught in his throat, “and I just had small fight. Don’t worry too much, hyung, I’ll fix it, I just need to think a little first. I’m OK.”

Taeyong’s face twists and for a second Mark thinks his explanation won’t be enough, before the silver haired male’s mouth turns into a smile and his expression softens out again.

“OK,” Says Taeyong as he leans back into his seat, picking up his previously forgotten cup of coffee from the ground. “As long as you’re OK, I’m happy. If you need to talk though, don’t forget I’m here.”

Mark ducks his head, smiling into his cup. “Thanks.” Again, with the apologies, but it wasn’t as though Mark didn’t mean it.

“Right!” Taeyong springs up so quickly it makes Mark head spin a little. “I’ll go start to try wake up the others,” Mark’s stomach twists and he goes to stand, feeling bad that he wasn’t ready to help, but Taeyong just waves him back down, “You stay there. I don’t need you throwing up when Jungwoo ultimately tries to fight for his blankets.” With an air of finality, he pushes past Mark’s seat, pausing briefly to pat Mark’s shoulder before he’s on his way to the cabins.

Mark settles back into his chair, sighing into the still quiet morning, only to jump and then burst out laughing when the sound of a pillow finding someones head meets Mark’s ears before someone shouts,

“WHAT THE FUCK, TAEYONG!!??”

-

It takes at least till midday for everyone to pack up, after spending at least an hour getting pills and coffee into everyone who had a hangover and the smallest amount of food they can manage. Donghyuck, who had appeared second to last out of his cabin after Youngho had disappeared twice to get him up, had looked around once, spotted Mark, and quickly looked away just as fast. Mark had kind of expected Donghyuck to come up and talk to him, but the sandy blond had simply ignored him as he had taken a spot around the fire and drank his coffee; Mark had snuck quick glances across at him every couple of seconds, but Donghyuck had firmly kept his gaze on his coffee cup.

The staff had appeared just as everyone had finished packing up their personal belongings, helping with cleaning up the rest of the equipment before shoving a camera into Taeyong’s hands. Mark had stayed on the other side of the group from Donghyuck, trying his best to pretend like he was ignoring the sandy blond, as the group had filmed a video explaining that today was their last day, something they had enjoyed, before ending the video with a goodbye and handing the camera back.

Around 1pm everyone had filed into their vans, settled into their seats and prepared for the long ride home. Mark had chosen the van that Donghyuck hadn’t disappeared into, leading to being a pillow for Jungwoo as the blond male slept the whole way home; despite how tired Mark may had been he hadn’t been able to fall asleep, either he was too anxious to be back in a crowded dorm with Donghyuck or something else, but he had ended up leaning against the pillow and listening the music the whole way home, trying to not let any intrusive thoughts about Donghyuck in as he watched the countryside slowly turn into city.

-

To say that the tension in the dorm after the camping trip and the argument between Mark and Haechan wasn’t rough, would be a lie. It felt as though Mark could cut through it with a knife. Sometimes, when Mark and Donghyuck weren’t in the same room it was tolerable but still tension seemed to poor out from under their doors, capturing everyone in its wake; however, it was much worse when Mark and Donghyuck were actually in the same room. Usually Donghyuck would be the first to leave as soon as it wouldn’t be rude too, although sometimes he just stood up and left after barely entering the room moments ago, leaving Mark’s chest feeling tight.

With two weeks left before the group performance in Shanghai for a show, one that groups had to be invited too, Mark spends most of his time in his room. The manager he usually shared with was away, meaning that Mark had the whole room to himself with plenty of time on his hands. Mark used his freedom to stay up far too late, watching dramas or American tv shows or listening to music and trying not to let his thoughts get to him too much; as much as he wanted to sort through his feelings about Donghyuck right away and get his friend back, he also found just trying to go over it again and again left him mentally exhausted and snappy.

-

Mark makes it a whole two days before he sees Donghyuck again. Part of it is because he spent that whole time holed up in his room, having meals delivered to his door by his hyungs, feeling bad every time he hears them outside because they’re most likely worrying about him, only coming out otherwise to use the bathroom.

The furthest he’s gotten with the _feelings_ problem was that he definitely was jealous, something that now seemed so obvious Mark wasn’t sure how he didn’t see it earlier. He feels a little stupid, if Mark was being completely honest, being so worried about other guys Donghyuck had commented he found hot when there was no way Donghyuck would end up with any of them; of course he doesn’t delve deeper into how Mark had felt it meant Donghyuck was going to leave him, no, that was too much too soon and they were past that.

Now it was just figuring out if he really liked Donghyuck enough to want him as something more than friends with benefits, if the warm buttery feeling in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach really meant anything or if he had just been caught up in the moment, caught up in the rush of endorphins or something whenever they fooled around.

It was past midnight, two days after they had gotten back from the camping trip, when Mark exited his room again for anything other than food or using the toilet. He had had enough of sitting in his cave, eyes hurting from trying to make shapes in the shadows on the ceiling as he tried so hard to work through everything, a faint pounding in his head from wracking his brain over and over again.

Everyone should have been asleep, or out, meaning that Mark wouldn’t be stopped by someone demanding answers from him; he doubted Donghyuck would be around either way, through the door Mark was sure he had heard something about Donghyuck going and staying in the Dreamies dorm for a bit. It’s those thoughts that found Mark padding down the dark hallway, the only source of light a weak night light, before rounding around the corner into the lounge. He had been planning to go outside on the balcony and stare over the city, one of his favorite things to do at night when the dorm was quiet around him, but the city was still alive and bright with people.

Too caught up in getting to the balcony, tugging at his shirt absently, Mark missed the dark shape on the couch until it was too late.

“Mark?”

Mark stopped, heartbeat in his throat, and turns to the couch. It was too dark to see who it was straight away, the only light coming from the bright full moon streaming through their floor-to- roof length windows. Peering through the dark and trying to find any kind of discernable features of the shape on the couch, Mark steps forwards a little, heartbeat still pounding away.

“Oh,” the voice says, and Mark finally catches on the familiar nasally drawl, immediately stepping back once he realized what he had gotten himself in too. “It is you.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark starts slowly as his eyes flit back to the corridor, flight taking control of his body, urging him to run away. “H- hi, I thought you were with the Dreamies.”

Donghyuck snorts but it’s too rough, too filled with some other emotion that Mark can’t pinpoint to sound natural. “I’m surprised you even knew I was away. I just got back, I needed to be alone.”

Which, of course, manages to Mark feel bad immediately. He hadn’t really given himself any time to think about how this was affecting Donghyuck, finding the thought too painful and maybe too selfish to really think past himself at this point, which was shitty, he knows that.

“Sorry,” Mark blurts, not really sure what he was apologizing for; was it for the argument? For completely shutting Donghyuck out? For ignoring him the whole time they had been back here? Or just for being a general shitty person? Either way, he hoped Donghyuck would accept it.

Donghyuck is quiet for a second before his voice rings out, sounding sharper, “Sorry for what?” he asks, “Sorry for walking in on me again? as I said I’m surprised you even knew I was gone, let alone that I was back, considering you’ve been locked in your room _avoiding me_ since we got back.”

Malice. It’s odd to hear it in someone like Donghyuck, someone who was typically happy and bright, sarcastic and teasing, someone who he had been so close too and it hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Just- sorry,” He needed to get out, needed to get back to his room. Mark felt too exposed, standing out here in just his tee-shirt and shorts, all thoughts of going outside onto the balcony gone; he needed the safety of his room again. With his mouth dry, throat working to swallow around the lump forming there, Mark hurriedly muttered, “I need to go. Get some sleep.” And bolted.

Mark’s just rounding the corner, blinking furiously to keep the wetness in his eyes from leaking, his lips clamped together to stop himself from making any noise, when he hears;

“Yeah, you do that.” 

Door slamming behind him, Mark barely makes it halfway across his room before he crouches, hands over his face, and lets out a sob. It hurt, oh god why did it hurt so bad. He and Donghyuck had been so close, twin- like, inseparable, yet now it seemed like the distance between them would ever be crossed again.

-

Mark realizes the day after that he couldn’t keep hiding in his room forever. If he wasn’t an idol and was just any other guy with the same problems, sure, but they had to start practicing to tighten up their performance for the awards show even though they had danced those songs thousands of times.

This is how Mark finds himself awake at seven in the morning. Practice isn’t until eleven, but he wanted some time to have a shower and maybe even get to breakfast before Donghyuck appeared from his room to start getting ready for the day too. When he first steps into the shower, peeling off his clothing slowly and stepping under the hot water only to stand there and stare listlessly at the wall for a little too long as he goes over his interaction with Donghyuck last night, only to have to forcefully shake himself out of it and step out again to dry and get dressed and prepared for the day.

By the time he’s finished and heads to the kitchen, Taeil is awake and cooking omelet in the kitchen while Yuta and Sicheng are so obviously in the process of waking up at the kitchen table, the three of them sharing a quiet morning conversation.

When Mark walks in Sicheng is the first look up, eyes widening when he sees it was Mark. He clears his throat, perhaps going for subtlety, getting the others attention enough to look up too.

“Mark,” Taeil is the first to greet him, voice warm. Sometimes Mark forgets how much he appreciates their groups oldest member, how warm and willing he was to play with the maknae line, how he cooked some of the best food in the house, and how he just generally had everyones’ backs even if he did it from the sidelines. “Good morning, do want an omelet? Im putting them over rice.” As he speaks he picks up an extra egg from the carton and shakes it, prompting a smile from Mark; it feels odd, like he had forgotten how too.

Nodding, Mark replies, “Mornin’, yeah, sure, I would love an omelet.”

As soon as he sits at the table, Yuta slides a coffee towards him with a small smile, easily welcoming him back. It made Mark feel a little guilty that he had been inadvertently ignoring the other members too, too caught up in what was happening with him and Donghyuck; they were all his friends and he shouldn’t have just disappeared like that, shouldn’t have made them worry. He muses over that as he takes his first sip of coffee, letting the taste of it wash over his taste buds, throwing himself into the quiet morning conversation. It takes all of two minutes for Yuta to make him laugh and it’s then, when Taeil laughs too and slides a steaming hot plate of food in front of him, that Mark realizes how much he missed everyone.

The other members slowly file in as Mark sits there and eats, hiding their surprised expressions when they see him at the table. No one makes it weird, easily finding their own places at the table with their breakfast and joining in with the conversation. When Youngho finally saunters in, sleep wear still sitting all crinkled on his body, he gives Mark a smile and pats Mark’s shoulder on the way to get coffee.

Feeling warm, his belly full of breakfast and the morning light gently streaming through the net curtains, dust motes dancing in the air, Mark almost forgets about why he had been secluded at all; that was, until Donghyuck walked in.

It’s apparent something is up before Donghyuck even walks into Mark’s peripheral. Everyone’s conversation goes hushed, not quite tapering off but enough so that the general hum of conversation in the kitchen is apparent when it dips. Mark doesn’t dare turn around, not even when he hears Donghyuck speak from behind him.

“Mornin’.”

It’s crazy how, once upon a time, Mark would find warmth in just hearing Donghyuck greet everyone in the morning; sometimes even finding himself waking up with Donghyuck when they had fallen asleep in the same bed. Now it just brings ice, penetrating it heart and making it hard to breathe.

Forcing himself to act natural Mark picks up his utensils, shoving some more omelet and rice into his mouth so that he can’t say anything stupid. Around him he’s well aware that everyones eyes are on Donghyuck and himself, some even flitting between the two; probably either waiting for one of them to say something to the other, or for a fight to break out. Mark doesn’t give them the satisfaction, forcing them to return to their normal conversations as he keeps his mouth full of food.

When Donghyuck does finally step into view, Mark hates how his heart leaps to his throat, hates how easily the ice in his chest turns back to something warm; nothing like the heat it had once held, though. Donghyuck looked sleep mused, hair a mess on top of his head and his shirt hanging off of one shoulder, showing off his tanned skin and delicate collarbones. Mark hates how he wants to run his hand along it, how he wants to press kisses to the skin there, but most of all he hates how he no longer can do any of that.

Donghyuck ignores him as he moves around the kitchen to make his breakfast, Mark catching himself watching the younger through his eyelashes and cursing at himself. If this was any other fight they’d still be cool towards each other for a day, sure, but soon enough Donghyuck would start cracking jokes and trying to worm his way back into Mark’s space; Mark, in turn, would laugh a little louder at Donghyuck’s jokes, finding all and any opportunities to get close to Donghyuck again before sooner than later the fight would be forgotten and they’d be back to normal.

Now, however, their roles were reversed. Donghyuck was the cool, the collected, ignoring Mark as he takes his place at the table three seats away from him despite there being a seat right next to Mark, leaving Mark to be the one who looked like a kicked puppy as he followed each and every one of Donghyuck’s movements.

He had really fucked this up if Donghyuck was being this cold.

“M’ gonna’ go get ready.” Mark says suddenly around his mouthful of food, pushing the plate away from him and standing up, chair grating loudly against the wooden floorboards. No words follow him as Mark crosses the living room, speeding around the corner and down the corridor to his room, nor as his door slams behind him only for Mark to lean back against it and sink down till he was sitting.

He had done this. He had done this not only to himself, but to Donghyuck too, he deserved this, yet Mark hated the way it felt. He allows himself to sit there until he begins to hear everyone slowly raise from the table and head to their own room to get dressed, pack their bags, some yelling about who was having the first shower, before Mark slowly gets up and begins packing his own bag; training today was going to be hard, but Mark could get through it.

The car ride, once Mark had picked himself up and joined everyone at the door to head down to the basement garage with the rest of the members, was quiet. Mark pointedly kept himself away from Donghyuck, finding comfort beside Doyoung who let Mark lean his head on his shoulder, but that didn’t mean he could keep his eyes away from the younger. Donghyuck seemed unbothered as he laughed at whatever Jungwoo said, clutching his stomach as he threw his head back. It brought warmth to Mark’s chest to see that, to see the way Donghyuck’s eyes lit up, the way he put his whole body into laughing, to see how his shoulders trembled in an effort to keep his laughing at least a little quiet for the manager up front.

Mark can’t help but remember how that laugh fault with Donghyuck against him, pointy elbows jabbing at his stomach at whatever cheesy thing Mark had said, his cheeks all bunched and teeth showing as he ducked his head to laugh against Mark’s chest, or his stomach, or his shoulder, sometimes leaving a kiss that was more of a bumping of teeth. He thinks how it sounds at midnight, when everything is quiet around them, how it sounds in the morning, when the dappled sunlight starts streaming in and kissed them awake, how it sounded when it’s just the two of them watching something stupid, when they’re all tangled up on the couch with Mark’s hands stroking through Donghyuck’s hair.

Training starts off fine. There’re minimal moments during the two songs that had been picked for them to perform that Mark and Donghyuck were near each other, meaning that Mark could just focus on watching himself in the mirror and getting the timing right. That doesn’t mean, however, that his eyes still don’t flit to find Donghyuck through their many members whenever he has a moment.

Mark had forgotten how well Donghyuck danced, how fluid he made it look, how Donghyuck looked like he was having fun with every step; he had also forgotten how absolutely distracting Donghyuck was when he danced, how his tanned skin got all sweaty and made his bangs stick to his eyes, sometimes even making his shirt stick to his chest to define his pectorals, how in some of their bigger movements (and if Donghyuck was wearing a loose shirt, which he was) his shirt would fly up and expose Donghyuck’s taut stomach, the little line of hair from his navel to the waistband of his shorts frustratingly distracting.

He’s so caught up in it that Mark misses a cue, slips, and finds himself on the ground.

Head spinning with images of Donghyuck, of Mark following the lines of his body with his own hands, Mark lays here a little stunned. It’s long enough that, after Taeyong had rushed forwards to make sure he was OK, even their dance teacher came forward and quietly asked if he needed a break.

“Nah, I’m OK,” Mark huffs as he pushes himself back up into a standing position, trying not to push away the comforting hands on his shoulders; he doesn’t need comfort, he needs Donghyuck, even in the simplest of ways. It’s that thought that makes him pause again, wondering where on earth it came from and what on earth it meant, long enough that the worried expression creeps back onto their teachers face, but Mark just waves him away.

“Sorry guys,” he calls, “I’m fine, just slipped. Let’s keep going.”

Mark manages to keep his staring minimal, instead focusing on keeping time and making sure he doesn’t fall. By the time they’re finished with the first song Mark has broken out in a full sweat, lifting his shirt to rub at his forehead as their teacher announces a short break before wandering over to grab his water bottle. He misses the way Donghyuck tracks him in the mirror, still standing in the centre getting some final tips and by the time Mark finds himself watching Donghyuck again the younger has found a spot against the far wall.

Youngho ends up beside him at some point, letting Mark lean into him. They don’t speak but Mark still appreciates the gesture anyways, finding comfort in Youngho as he sits and watches the other members, refusing to let himself look over at Donghyuck. It’s harder than he expected and when they’re finally called back to practice, Mark lets out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realizes he had been holding. Youngho gives him a look but ultimately doesn’t say anything as he helps Mark up, sticking close as they pad over to where everyone was forming a semi- circle around their instructor.

“So, we’re going to switch up one of the parts in this song,” says the dance teacher, looking up and around at each member before returning to his plans. Mark’s heart thumps a little harder as he waits to hear what comes next, it’s most likely that he’ll have a part in one of the switch ups, so he can only hope that it’s nothing major.

“Mark and- “Mark’s breath catches in his throat, waiting for it. “-Donghyuck. During the dance break I’m going to have you two in the middle dancing together. Sound good?”

Mark struggles to focus for a second, forcing through the way his heartbeat jumps, how his mouth goes immediately dry.

“Yeah, sure,” he manages through his teeth, “That sounds lit.”

The other members around them laugh at Mark’s chosen vocabulary, but quickly quieten down once their instructor gives them a firm look and starts talking again.

“So I’m gonna get you two to come into the middle together, Mark you’re going to be behind Donghyuck, then follow the steps I went over earlier with everyone-“ here he pauses to scan the group before continuing, “you’re all going to be doing the same around them, just in a semi-circle.”

Mark resists the urge to look over at Donghyuck when he asks, “So we’re just coming into the middle together and doing the dance break? Easy.”

Expecting a nod, the confusion that pulls Mark’s eyebrows inwards and purses his lips when their dance instructor shakes his head is fair.

“Not quite, I’m going to get you two to turn on the spot so that you’re facing each other, body roll, and then grab at each-others’ shirts like you’re angry before breaking apart. Got it?”

‘ _T- touch Donghyuck?’_ Mark thinks, ‘ _No way, I can’t.’_ but outwardly he just nods, hopes the others don’t notice how he shifts on his feet and refuses to meet any of the others’ eyes, before replying;

“Yeah, got it.”

“Donghyuck?”

Mark keeps his gaze firmly on his own two feet, clenching his fists so hard blood beads underneath his fingernails as a way to ground himself so that he doesn’t look at Donghyuck. He doesn’t know what kind of expression would flit across his own face if he met Donghyuck’s gaze, especially not when he knows in a couple of minutes he was going to have to get up close and personal with the very person he had been trying so hard to ignore since they returned from camping.

He misses Donghyuck’s reply, suddenly finding Yuta’s hand on his shoulder. Mark looks up to find the older males’ gaze, finding worry in every inch of Yuta’s expression. It makes his stomach drop, not wanting to make Yuta worry too much about him, quickly forcing a smile and a small nod. The moment is over as quickly as it happened, Yuta stepping away to find his starting position, leaving Mark to stumble to his own.

Their dance instructor starts the music from just before the dance break, letting it play at half speed as he paces in front of them counting out the beats. The closer it gets to the moment Mark has to step forward alongside Donhyuck, the others stepping back to their own positions behind them, the harder his heart starts beating, pitching uncomfortably into his throat and back down again.

“Mark! Donghyuck!”

They had gone over the choreo before, nothing that Mark hadn’t done a million times before for the dance break, but he stills grits his teeth as he bends at the waist and hurries forwards quickly with the beat, pausing into a wide stance when the music does. At this point his heart is beating so fast it’s hammering in his ears, making it hard to think let alone hear the music, running on muscle memory as he does the half turn and then-

 _And then_ ;

Donghyuck was in front of him.

Mark falters, barely getting his footing right and meeting Donghyuck’s body roll by the time it’s halfway over. He grits his teeth, meeting the next body roll perfectly in sync with the sandy blond. Donghyuck refuses to meet his eye the whole way through, looking somewhere over Mark’s shoulder, however when the third body roll hits Donghyuck looks up and the world around Mark slows.

The dark look in Donghyuck’s gaze in unmistakable, pupils blown wide and piercing as though he’s gazing into Mark’s soul. It makes Mark falter once more, missing the final roll of his hips, caught up in the look. He wants to step closer, to really press his body up against Donghyuck, wants to make them alright again, and the urge is so overpowering that Mark almost relents, almost steps closer when suddenly Donghyuck blinks and the looks is gone.

Deflating, Mark forgets what he’s supposed to do next. He’s caught mid movement, still desperately trying to reboot his brain, when suddenly there’s a fist in his shirt and fire alights over Mark’s body.

 _Yes, yes, yes_ Mark’s body sings. This is the way it should be. The two of them, together, pressed together on the couch after a long day of practice, holding hands in the back of the bus where no one can see, sharing secretive glances over the table at breakfast, passing touches and gentle smiles.

The warm feeling was back in his chest, like the sun descending to sit there and Mark can’t help but think of how Donghyuck was the sun, making a home in his chest.

Donghyuck pushes away from him and the moment is gone, eyes sliding away from Mark and across the group as he turns and retreats to his next position. It shocks Mark out of it, the sudden departure of the pressure of Donghyuck’s fist against his chest, the warmth in his heart. He stumbles, nearly falls, rights himself and nearly thinks he’s made it when the music stops.

Immediately everyone looks at him, all wearing duel expressions of worry. Mark finds Donghyuck in the crowd through them, standing back, and shivers when he sees the dark expression on the younger males’ face; there was nothing of that dark look left, only anger.

“Mark? Are you OK?” The instructor asks above the clamoring of all the other members asking the same, Taeyong the closest to him with a hand on Mark’s shoulder.

Feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, Mark fakes a smile and nods, trying desperately to pretend like he was OK and like Donghyuck wasn’t glaring daggers into his back.

“Yeah, I’m OK. Sorry, the beat was just a little faster than I expected.”

His excuse is accepted easily enough, the other members and the instructor know how hard it was to preform choreography in a different formation, even after dancing it so many times one could do it in their sleep. Everyone steps back, instead now paying attention to the instructor, but out of the corner of his eye Mark sees Taeil slowly slide up to Donghyuck and slide his hand over the younger’s opposite hip. It’s a quiet kind of touch, warm and comfortable just like Taeil was himself, and although Mark already knows how close they are and knows there’s nothing more there he can’t help that painful feeling in his chest.

“Mark, Donghyuck, come here,” their instructor calls.

Mark had been busy staring at Donghyuck that he was startled by the sudden call. Swallowing the butterflies threatening to escape his abdomen, Mark forcefully removes his gaze from Donghyuck and walks to where their instructor was waiting. Donghyuck takes a little longer to get there, leaving Mark to stare at his feet and even when the younger male finds his position Mark keeps his gaze firmly on the little black scuff on the toe of his converse.

A hand touches his shoulder, their instructor, moving him so that they were standing directly in front of each other.

“Here,” The teacher says, patting both their shoulders. “Now, back leg bent, front leg backwards a bit and bent too,” he waits for them to complete the task, Mark doing so robotically, still keeping his gaze everywhere but Donghyuck, “Perfect. Now body roll, one, two, three, four,” Mark stills on the fourth count, breath catching as he realizes what’s coming.

“I need you two to look at each other for this whole thing, not just when you grab each-others chest. Come on, look at each other.”

Mark doesn’t know what he had wished to see on Donghyuck’s face, but he wishes it were anything but the cool, the purely professional, way Donghyuck looks at him. Mark can’t help the small shudder that goes down his spine, tamping down the urge to reach out and grip at Donghyuck so that he can pull the younger closer and press their lips together; all the while Donghyuck kept giving him that look. Even disgust, or anger, would be better.

“Good,” their instructor says almost absentmindedly, “Now on the first two beats you stand and look at each other – no not like that, like you’re sizing each other up” Mark doesn’t think he quite pulls it off, too caught up in the methodical way Donghyuck tilts his head up, arching an eyebrow as he goes, and flicks his eyes up and down Mark’s body. Mark hates how it makes his skin tingle, his cheeks undoubtedly turning pink. “Good Donghyuck, Mark you could use a little work, but we’ll sort that out later. Now, on the third beat you’re reaching forwards to grab each other. Ready?”

He’s not ready, he’s not even comfortable being this close to Donghyuck let alone grabbing him, the toes of their shoes almost meeting; Mark nods anyways, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to say he couldn’t do this and then not give a reason, and tenses almost immediately when their instructor steps away from them and claps.

“Ready! One – size each other up! two and three! Grab each other!”

Donghyuck’s hand is on him before Mark’s fingers even brush the younger male’s shirt, tugging hard enough that Mark’s shirt digs into the back of his shirt. Mark works to do the same, but he knows his grip is nothing compared to Donghyuck’s, nothing compared to the anger the younger must be feeling behind that perfectly calm face.

The moment is gone and with the fourth beat gone, returning to the first, the two let go. The music continues on as Mark stands there, feeling oddly cold without Donghyuck standing so close too him.

“Good,” Says their instructor over the music, pausing it a second later before moving to step closer to them again. “When you grab each other, I want you two to really mean it, OK? pull each other a little, get up in each- other’s space, yeah?”

“Sure,” Donghyuck speaks before Mark can. Mark looks up, he had been keeping his gaze down again, just nodding to whatever their instructor said rather than looking at him to feign like he was really thinking about it. Once again that eyebrow was cocked, but there was no mischievousness in Donghyuck’s gaze, just that coolness that demanded Mark to get it right so they can get out of here quicker. “I can do that. It’s Mark you’ll have to convince.”

Working out exactly what that meant was quickly overpowered by the sudden hot flash Mark experiences, one that makes him tense up and push his eyebrows together. What did that mean, did Donghyuck really think that Mark couldn’t be professional through all of this?

“I can do it.” Mark says, pushing back.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. This time, when he speaks, Mark can finally detect a hint of anger. “Oh, well, thank god you can finally decide on something, Mark.”

The air around them turned frigid. All that warmth Mark had experienced earlier boiled, causing him to dig his nails into his palms. He knew what Donghyuck was referencing too, knew that Donghyuck was making fun of him for not being able to give the younger an answer on what had been bothering him and ultimately lashed out at Donghyuck for, on what he was still bothered about. Of course, Donghyuck still didn’t know that all of Mark’s problems were centered around figuring out his feelings, which Youngho had helped him out plenty with, and where he wanted it go from here; but still, that didn’t mean he was just going to stand here and let Donghyuck be a dick.

“What do you mean by that?” Mark steps forwards before he realizes what he was doing, getting into Donghyuck’s space. It’s infuriates him that Donghyuck doesn’t step down, that he just meets Mark’s gaze. The final straw was when the corner of Donghyuck’s lip twitches.

There’re hands on him before Mark can get any further. His head is spinning, making him disoriented enough to struggle against the people holding him, prompting Mark to let out a little shout. The last thing he sees as he’s being forcefully dragged to the door and lead out, was that small twitch turning into a frown.

“Mark! Hey!”

Everything’s spinning. Mark struggles a little, finding something cool and firm against his back, closing his eyes to try and get it to stop. As soon as the feeling had overcome him it was gone, leaving Mark feeling weak enough to slump against those same hands he had been fighting against, ice rushing through his veins. Once everything had stopped moving enough Mark opens his eyes, vision blurry until he blinks and slowly the faces of Yuta and Youngho swim into view, Taeyong sandwiched between them.

“I’m OK,” is the first thing out of Mark’s mouth. “Guys, I-“

“Breathe a little Mark,” Taeyong voices, stepping more into Mark’s view. “In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

“I-“ Mark starts, trying to do as Taeyong commanded. The breathing does help to make his head feel a little clearer, makes everything spin a little less. “I don’t know what happened – I” Reaching up he presses his palms against his eyes, hating how everything had just happened immediately started replaying in his head.

He had gotten up into Donghyuck’s space, angry, but then everything blurred. Mark wasn’t sure whether he had wanted to punch Donghyuck or kiss him. Either way, he had just wanted to get close and find that warmth between them that had once been present but now seemed so far away.

Tears, unwelcome but present non-the-less, sprung to his eyes. This was all so messed up and he was still so unsure. He had nearly screwed up everything in there, hell, he had probably already screwed things up between him and Donghyuck forever without even a thought to their career. What if they couldn’t get past this? Mark would have to leave the group and go back to his family, give up his dream, because there was no way he would let Donghyuck do so instead.

“I’m sorry.” Mark whispers, unsure whether it’s to the three around him, or maybe to the one person still in the dance studio that Mark wanted next to him right now.

The hand on his right shoulder, Youngho, squeezes a little.

“I’ll go tell the teacher that Mark isn’t feeling well and needs to go home,” Taeyong speaks up suddenly, “One of you needs to go home with him.”

Mark doesn’t even have the energy to fight it. He feels bad, of course he does, their performance is so soon and although they already knew the song there was so much to go over, plus he was wasting everyone elses time; but he was so drained, so tired, and all he wanted to do right now was go home and curl up in bed.

“You go with him.” Says Yuta, “See you guys back at the dorm.”

Still feeling a little bad, Mark removes his hands and opens his eyes just in time to reach out and grab Yuta’s sleeve. The older male turns and looks at him, eyebrow raised, expression soft when he sees the wetness on Mark’s face. If anything, it makes Mark want to cry harder.

“Thank you,” he says to Yuta, to Taeyong, To Youngho. “I’m sorry.”

Yuta’s expression softens even further, and he reaches out, gently wiping away the wetness on Mark’s face. They had always been close, quick to become friend ever since they had first met, bonding over the loneliness they both felt from leaving a country they had grown up in to follow their dreams.

Beside him, Taeyong murmurs a quiet, “It’s OK, Mark.”

Mark disengages his touch on Yuta and with two far too quick hugs, Yuta and Taeyong disappear back inside. Youngho stands silently beside him, giving Mark the time to push off the wall and start down the corridor to the exit. The two stay silent even as they get in the elevator to go down to the basement, silent as they climb into the car and Mark leans on Youngho’s shoulder; the older male doesn’t need to say anything, already knowing what was most likely going through Mark’s head, instead providing the kind of quiet comfort that Mark needed right know. Mark knew that if he needed to speak Youngho would be there to listen, but right now this was enough.

As they pull out onto the street and find that it was raining, Mark watches the raindrops race down the glass and silently thinks of how far the van was taking him from Donghyuck’s side, away from where he could apologize, where he could press close and thaw away the ice in his chest till he was warm again, the entire way home.

-

Mark isn’t expected to return to practice the next day. The other members say it, their manager says it, even their dance teacher, but Mark feels too guilty to miss practice when the performance was so close, and their fans would be expecting to see all of them. He’d be lying if he said it was easy to do, though.

The first time he sees Donghyuck the morning after their fight, Mark can’t look at him. He’s too busy trying to ignore his flight instinct as he keeps his gaze on his toast, desperately trying not to look over at the younger male as Mark tries to eat his toast. It’s almost impossible, Mark is aware of where Donghyuck is every second he’s in the kitchen and it takes all of his willpower not to talk to the younger male.

At one point Donghyuck turns his back to him as he talks to Taeil, giving Mark an opportunity to stare and still have a chance to look away in time that he wouldn’t be caught. It’s almost sickening the way Mark’s heart drops when he sees the usual bright pallor of Donghyuck’s skin dampened, the bags under his eyes pronounced when he turns his head; he had no right at this point to worry about Donghyuck and his health, even more so because it’s Mark who is causing the younger all this pain and yet Mark can’t help it.

Practice is much the same. Mark gets through his parts without ever looking Donghyuck in the eye, instead looking just over the youngers shoulder. Their small part together was supposed to be filled with aggression, with tension, yet Mark can’t bring himself to grip at Donghyuck’s shirt with anything more than a loose fist. Their dance teacher notices, of course, but after the very public fight they had in front of everyone he doesn’t push neither Mark nor Donghyuck to try harder.

The worst part is the butterflies. Once again he has no right still caring after Donghyuck as he does, no right to have those butterflies, yet whenever they get close Mark can’t help it. Donghyuck is just so pretty, even in his obvious mental exhaustion, and his touch on Mark’s shirt shoots warmth throughout his body; it makes him think of what would happen if they hadn’t of fought, if somehow things had only been slightly different and Mark wouldn’t have all these hang-ups allowing him to continue all of this. Who knows what would have happened in the end.

Mark refuses to even entertain the thought of ‘boyfriends’ when it filters into his head. Not yet.

If Mark thought it was bad before when they were ignoring each other, also while Mark thought over Youngho’s words and tried to decide whether his feelings for Donghyuck were at ‘boyfriend’ level or if he just wanted to try and apologize and go back to – Mark doesn’t even know what they would go back too, this was worse. Friends seemed impossible after everything, yet he also knew there was no way Donghyuck would still want to have a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, let alone under the guise that they had only been doing all of this to ‘practice’ with future partners.

More time was spent in his room than ever just to try and not see Donghyuck, although he wasn’t even sure the younger was in the dorm the whole time, only seeing the younger male whenever they had practice and the rare times Mark came out of his room to eat. Sometimes he was bought food like before but that just made him feel worse. Mark hadn’t meant to bring everyone else into this mess, this was just supposed to be him and Donghyuck messing around and nothing more, and now everyone was feeling the side effects of their problems.

The time he spends in his room wasn’t for naught, however. With nothing to do at three in the morning when Mark couldn’t sleep, too many thoughts in his head to try and figure out any kind of progress from here, Mark finds one of Donghyuck’s hoodies under a pile of clothing at the foot of his bed. Donghyuck had probably left it in his room without realizing and Mark, also probably not realizing it was there, had left it at the end of his bed.

Cautiously, like it was going to attack if Mark moved too fast, he crouches and slowly reaches for it. The dark blue material is still soft, even though Donghyuck had worn it so many times, as Mark picks up the hoodie and rests it against his arms. Mark stares down at it for a second longer, thoughts going a mile a minute through his head. This was the hoodie Donghyuck had been wearing the first time they met, the hoodie he had worn when they tentatively became friends and then not even that longer after when they had quickly became best friends; the hoodie he had worn in the van back to their dorm after NCT had received their first win, Mark’s head on his shoulder and their hands clasped together between their legs. It was also the hoodie Donghyuck had worn the thousands of time they had fallen asleep on each other, the hoodie he had been wearing the thousands of times they had collapsed onto each other laughing; the hoodie he had been wearing the thousands of times they had stayed up till the early hours of the morning, shoulders pressed together and eyes locked on the screen, long red liquorice snacks hanging from their mouths, and the inevitable hushed celebration when they finally defeated the boss.

All of this done, together.

Absent mindedly Mark pulls the hoodie close, pushing his nose into it, his eyes closed. The hoodie still smelt like Donghyuck, like he had been wearing it only moments ago and now Mark remembers all the moments of waking up in the morning with Donghyuck, the sunlight just barely streaming through the curtains, painting everything a gentle yellow; the dorm quiet around them as Mark shifts even closer, Donghyuck slowly opening his eyes and blinking a gentle good-morning at him, the scent of Donghyuck around them. He remembers quiet moments in the studio, the blue light from the computer burning his eyes as he and Donghyuck worked, Donghyuck’s sunshine warm smell in the air around them as the younger turns towards him, smiling at their success. He remembers the loud moments in the dorm when they’re playfighting, Donghyuck overpowering him in one movement and bringing the same scent rushing in as the air around them is displaced, the white of Donghyuck’s teeth as he raises his arms over his head and cheers out in victory.

Together.

Mark doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels wetness against his cheek, pushing between his skin and into the hoodie. He remembers, even though it was short, the gentle press of their lips in the slow mornings as they woke up together. He remembers the hurried kisses when the others were around, hiding away in a dark corner together or waiting until they were alone in the room, trying not to get caught. He remembers the passionate kisses when they were finally alone, the ones that burned Mark from the inside out, that made his dizzy headed with lust. He remembers their bodies together, gentle, firm, hard; He remembers their pinkies, their hands, their fingers interlocked; He remembers the way Donghyuck’s eyes shine, the golden complexion of his skin as though Donghyuck had captured the sun in his ribcage, he remembers those quietly broadening shoulders, the softness of Donghyuck’s abdomen, that nose that crinkles during laughter, those petal pink lips.

He remembers and it all comes crashing down on Mark that he does want Donghyuck like that. He wants all the happiness, all the tears, all the victories, all the scares, all the gentle touches, all the warm hellos and the promising goodbyes; he wants Donghyuck back, his friend- no, his best friend – no,

His boyfriend.

The urge to want to go and tell Donghyuck immediately was overpowering. Mark gets all the way to his door, Donghyuck’s hoodie still in his hand, before he comes to his senses and stops himself. He’s a mess of conflictions, wanting to yell to the high heavens just how much he liked one Lee Donghyuck, this itchy warm feeling under his skin that simultaneously made him want to scratch it off or sink into this feeling forever; however he knows that if he went to Donghyuck now the younger would probably refuse to see him, hell he didn’t even know if Donghyuck was here in the dorms right now, which cools his body and adds a heaviness in his stomach in comparison to the warmth and the butterflies battering against his ribcage.

In the end, the voice of reason wins. Mark should wait, he doesn’t know where Donghyuck is, he doesn’t know if Donghyuck would talk to him let alone confess when they’re in the middle of a fight; and on top of all that, he doesn’t know if Donghyuck likes him back like that.

It’s nearing four when Mark collapses on his bed, eyes heavy. Donghyuck’s hoodie is still in his arms and he pulls it to his chest, buries his nose into it, and falls asleep to the comforting sunshine scent.

-

Sometimes, despite new revelations, things have to get worse before they get better.

This, Mark finds out the hard way.

-

The next morning there’s an immediate change. Mark is awake, dressed, and out in the kitchen before anyone else was even awake. It’s a Saturday, meaning no practice as it’s the one day they get off, and yet Mark is found at the table eating his breakfast and scrolling through his phone by a very tired Youngho.

It’s not surprising that the older male starts when he sees him, blinking at Mark a couple of times before finally saying,

“Mornin’, you’re awake early.”

Mark ducks his head, feeling oddly bashful as he says, “Yeah, I woke up early.”

Youngho hums, moving around in the kitchen. Mark knows the taller is just waiting to say something yet Youngho stays silent as he slowly makes his own breakfast and a coffee, only speaking when he’s stirred his coffee and puts the teaspoon in the sink before finally meeting Mark’s gaze and, when he sees the look on Mark’s face, has the corner of his lips turned up as he says,

“You’re looking better too. Did something good happen?”

Was he really that obvious?

“Well-“ Mark stops, suddenly tongue tied as it desperately tries to keep up with his brain. He wants to tell Youngho immediately, but he also kind of wants the first time he admits anything like ‘I like you’ directly to Donghyuck’s face, rather than ‘I like Donghyuck,’ to anyone else, he’ll have to see what ends up happing because truthfully if there was anyone Mark would want to know it would be Youngho first. “N- no, nothing happened. I’m just feeling better.”

Youngho sits at the opposite end of the table with a quiet, “Mmhmm, I see,” and takes his first bite. Mark waits for him to say something more as he watches Youngho chew, only for the older male to finally look up and say, “Can you pass the sugar?”

Mark, to busy looking down at his end of the table to find where the sugar is located, misses Youngho’s smile.

-

For the next week, all Mark can think about is telling Donghyuck how he feels, only to be plagued by insecurities a second later, the happiness he had felt the next morning after figuring out his feelings now gone. Despite Donghyuck having been an equally as enthusiastic participant in everything that had happened between them, aside from the fighting, Mark wasn’t sure what Donghyuck’s stance on him even was; whether Donghyuck actually liked him too, or had just been happy to have a hand or a mouth to fuck when feeling frustrated.

Which, to be honest, really sucked.

Not to mention that he and Donghyuck still weren’t talking. Hell, at this point Donghyuck still refused to be in the same room as Mark unless it was the dance studio; in which he autonomously carried out choreography, refused to look at Mark during their dance break, before disappearing as quickly as possible with Jungwoo in tow to wait in the car or walk back. Donghyuck had also taken to staying in the dreamies dorm whenever he could, meaning that Mark never really found a time to corner the younger member even if he had wanted too.

Youngho eventually comes to him three days after Mark had decided he did like Donghyuck, had decided that he could imagine a future as boyfriends with the younger male. Truthfully, Mark shouldn’t have been surprised, Youngho was oddly perceptive when it came to Mark’s moods, plus already knowing at least half of what had been (and was still) happening between them.

This time Mark is alone in the dance studio. It was late, well past midnight, and Mark hadn’t been able to sleep, tossing and turning and going over scenario after scenario in his head. Eventually he had given up and instead decided to go dance it out, knowing that the recording studios would all be locked and there would be no way to get a key this late.

There’s a lull in the music between where the song he had been messing around with stopped before starting again, in which Mark takes a long look at his disheveled appearance in the mirror before dropping to the floor. His chest hurt, lungs aching, with visible sweat on his skin, making his hair stick to his forehead and his clothes to his body.

It was thanks to that lull in the music that Mark hears the door open, saving himself a fright. Initially thinking it was some staff coming to reprimand him Mark groans and turns his head to try and see who it was, only to find Youngho standing in the door in a thick jacket and a beanie low over his eyes.

“Hey,” Youngho says when Mark meets his eyes, flashing the younger male a smile as he lets the door swing behind him and paces over to Mark. Mark lazily swats at Youngho’s foot when the older male pokes him with his shoe, then rolls back onto his stomach to hide his face in his arms, “What’cha doing?”

Mark raises one arm, his face still resting on the other, and waves in the general direction of the room. He knows why Youngho is here and he appreciates it, but he had come to the dance studio to try and get away from all the drama happening in the dorm, so he didn’t have to think, or talk, about it. However, he also knew that Youngho just wanted to try and help, not to mention that they had been friends for so long that Mark knew Youngho would just listen to what Mark had to say if that’s all Mark wanted.

Slowly Mark rises, still in the process of figuring out if he really wanted to tell Youngho his realization. He ends up sitting cross legged in front of Youngho who, up until now had been crouched down, also moved to sit in the same position opposite Mark. Silently Mark sits there, picking at the pants leg of his jeans and trying to figure out what the hell he wanted to say at all, until finally he blurts,

“I’m sorry.”

Which, to be honest, wasn’t really what Mark thought he would say. Sure, he had been feeling immensely bad about bringing the other members into this; guilty, even, for being so childish that he previously couldn’t even come clean with himself let alone Donghyuck.

Youngho is silent for a moment, obviously trying to figure out what Mark was apologizing for, before he sighs a little and answers, “Whatever you’re apologizing for, I can tell you right now it’s not something you need to be apologizing for.”

Mark doesn’t need to be looking up, doesn’t need to see the look on Youngho’s face, to know that he means it, but it doesn’t mean that he immediately feels better.

“You guys didn’t need to get caught up in mine and Donghyuck’s fights,” Mark presses, “Even if I had figured stuff out earlier, we shouldn’t have fought like that in the middle of practice.”

“Mark,” Youngho’s hand finds his shoulder, startling Mark a little because he hadn’t heard the older male move. “It’s OK. We all fight, you know this, no one hates you for it.”

That placates Mark a little better, makes him feel like less of all of this was his fault. His nod this time is more convincing, both for himself and for Youngho, like he was starting to believe that he hadn’t absolutely fucked all of this up. it makes him breathe a little easier, feel like he was a little more ready to really tell Youngho what was happening between them, and it’s because of that that Mark finally stops playing with his jeans and looks up to meet Youngho’s gaze.

Youngho offers a smile that Mark returns, albeit a little weaker. There was nothing in Youngho’s posture, in his eyes, to make Mark think that the older male was really here to tell him off, or to make fun of him, which only affirms his conviction to tell Youngho what was going on.

“You said something about figuring things out,” Youngho says softly before Mark could speak, eyes gentle, not probing, willing to let Mark either continue this conversation or stop it right here. “Was that about Donghyuck?”

It really shouldn’t be a surprise that Youngho caught that. Mark had already been proven many times that Youngho was perceptive, yet it still threw him for a second. Nodding dumbly, Mark replies,

“Yeah,” which wasn’t nearly enough of an explanation. Unfortunately, this is where things got harder to explain. “I-“ he starts, trying to get the words out in a way that trod the thin line between too much and how much Mark feels comfortable enough for Youngho to know. “Well, you- I mean, I already told you that I thought I liked him right? That night in when we were camping.”

Youngho nods a quiet, “Yes.” Letting Mark continue.

“And you said – you said that I should figure out if I liked him like that. Like past just liking him a little to –“ he’s rambling, oh god he’s rambling, the words coming thick and fast off of his tongue. Mark stops before he gets to that final two words, forcefully keeping the words at bay; there’s no point though, not really, because one look at Youngho again after Mark had dropped his eyes when he began talking, it was obvious he had been understood.

Youngho refuses to complete the sentence for him. Not that he’s forcing Mark to say anything he doesn’t want too, but the words hang heavy in the air and once Mark had stopped himself from rambling and given himself some time to breathe he finds them easier to say than ever.

“- boyfriend level.”

He almost expects some kind of out of body experience once he says the words, yet Mark finds nothing like that; and why should he? This is just what was natural, he liked Donghyuck, he wanted Donghyuck as his boyfriend and it was like Mark had known for a while that he and Donghyuck would always end up like this – as something more.

The smile that Youngho gives him is wide, showing off his teeth. He leans in and punches Mark’s arm, not too hard but enough to make Mark recoil.

“Good,” Youngho is saying, “this is huge. I’m proud of you for figuring this out, Mark.”

It’s so easy, so sudden, that Youngho just accepts him like that, accepts his decision without any qualms. The notion makes Mark laugh, his first laugh in days, because of course Youngho did. He just wanted what was best for Mark, wanted Mark to grow and become comfortable with himself and if Mark really thought about it that’s exactly what he had done.

“Y- yeah,” Mark says, finding himself smiling right back. “Thanks. It’s uh, scary as fuck but yeah.”

They’re past the point of telling off Mark for swearing, but still Youngho rolls his eyes at him. “True. Are you going to tell him though?”

Ah, there it is. Mark ducks his head once more, feeling some weight form back in his chest. “’Hyuck won’t even look at me,” Mark says to the floor, “Let alone let me talk to him. I really fucked things up between us by pushing him out, I doubt he’ll listen to anything I say to him.” it hurts, hurts to admit that he had fucked things up so badly between him and Donghyuck in his own indecision, because now it was going to be harder than ever to try and make things right.

The one driving factor that Mark did have, though, was that he did want to make things right between them; he did want them to go back to the way they were before, plus maybe more if Donghyuck would let him.

“He’ll listen,” Youngho says quietly, disrupting the quiet between them. “Even if it’s rough to start with, he’ll listen, you just have to find some time to talk to without the rest of us botherin’ you guys.”

Mark scoffs, looking up, “Yeah, with all of us here in the dorms and busy with practice that’s totally gonna’ be easy.”

“I know,” Youngho starts, playing along, “I remember when I was trying to – never mind. I can try help get you two alone,” Mark tries his best to ignore the other males’ smirk, “Or you just need to find him when he’s alone.”

Which, to be honest, sounded impossible, but it wasn’t like Mark had a better choice. At least with Youngho trying to help he would have a better chance of getting Donghyuck alone, and with their years of having Donghyuck as a friend Mark was pretty sure he knew the younger enough to know when Donghyuck would be alone.

“Yeah,” Agrees Mark, “OK, that could work. I’ll see if I can talk to him.”

Youngho reaches out and thumps his leg with his palm, smiling. “Go get ‘im, Mark.” Which, really, would have been a good pep talk to get Mark to actually do this, rather than wuss out, but then Youngho wags his eyebrow at him and Mark’s cheeks feel a little hotter when he swipes at Youngho’s hand before pushing out his legs and leaning back onto his own hands.

“Shut up.” Mark says, with no malice really.

Much to Mark’s displeasure, Youngho’s expression doesn’t lessen. In fact, it got worse.

“Oh please,” the older man starts, his grin now widening. “After how long it took you, I’m allowed to tease you a little,” he pauses, and Mark doesn’t have time to move forward and shut the older male up forcefully before Youngho’s raises his voice to mimic Mark’s and says, “Hyung, I get this weird sinking feeling whenever Donghyuck so much as looks at another guy but I don’t know what it means. Do I like him? like, do I like him like him- like a boyf-“

Mark gets a good smack on Youngho’s leg before the older can move it, one that he knows will leave a mark tomorrow morning. His cheeks are absolutely burning in mortification, probably bright red at this point, and all he wants is for the floor to open up and swallow him.

“Shut up,” Repeats Mark, “I wasn’t like that at all,” Youngho pauses in his cackling, holding at this stomach, to raise an eyebrow in Mark’s direction which only prompts Mark to continue, “I wasn’t! you can’t tell me you weren’t like this too when you first liked a guy. Fuck you.”

“You’re right, I was,” Youngho manages, calming down a little, “it just wasn’t nearly as painful as watching you have a crises over your first boy crush.”

Which, of course, just prompts Mark to turn even redder. “Fuck you,” he mutters, but he can’t stay mad, he’s not even really mad in the first place. “You’re so rude, Yuta-hyung wouldn’t be such a dick.”

“Yuta would tell you to go get on that dick.”

Which, to be honest, was pretty fucking funny. Mark couldn’t even stay mad, staring completely slack jawed and silent at Youngho for a good couple of seconds before he burst out laughing too. In the end all his worries, all his fears, felt so stupid when he had people here who would help him, support him, to finally try and confess to Donghyuck and make things right again.

And so, while he could, Mark laughed until his sides hurt.

-

After his talk with Youngho Mark feels better, he does. He feels almost ready to try and talk to Donghyuck, to tell the sandy haired male that Mark liked him, yet whenever Mark got close to Donghyuck his throat closed up; completely making him unable to speak. It also didn’t help that Donghyuck still tried to ignore him whenever was possible. If the younger male didn’t have to be in the same room, mostly when they were at home, he would up and leave; the only times he stayed in the room was for dance practice, or for meetings, and even then he sat on the opposite side of the room.

Still, Mark stayed optimistic. He didn’t want to fight Donghyuck any more, he was happier with himself than he had been in months, and although it was scary Mark knew he had to do this; he had to at least clear the air between them, had to get Donghyuck talking to him again and even if the sandy blond didn’t feel the same way at least they could go back to being friends and this whole situation would be over and done with. 

Unfortunately, things apparently still had to get worse before they got better.

Mark couldn’t really blame Taeyong, nor the other members. To be fair, if two other members also weren’t talking Mark would have done the same thing, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t annoying.

-

“Hey, Mark,” Mark looks up from where he had been lying on the couch idly scrolling through his phone, checking twitter on his private account, to find Taeyong standing at the end of the couch near his feet. As soon as Mark catches Taeyong’s eyes, raising his eyebrow in a question, Taeyong continues, “I have a favor to ask.”

It’s a little odd, but not out of the question. The most annoying part was that Mark was comfortable, all warm in his slightly oversized hoodie (it was Donghyuck’s but of course no one bought that up) and if Taeyong wanted him to do something it most likely meant he was going to have to move.

“Yeah?” Mark asks.

“I left my laptop in the basement studios,” Taeyong starts, “You know, the one with all our songs? I wanted to work on them a little more here, but I forgot it, and now I’m about to leave to meet some friends.”

Mark could see where this was going, “And you want me to go get it? Why can’t you just get it tomorrow?”

Taeyong’s eyes flick towards the clock, and there’s this look that flits across his face for a second before he conceals it and looks back to Mark. Something was off but Mark couldn’t put his finger on it, but it didn’t matter, whatever it was it was something Taeyong was dealing with and if he wanted to tell Mark he would.

“The studios are all booked tomorrow, and I don’t want to interrupt,” Explains Taeyong, “Could you get it, please? It’ll take like ten minutes, but I really need to go now if I want to catch the train on time.”

Inwardly, Mark sighs. Outwardly, however, he nods and locks his phone before standing up. He could easily say no, but he wasn’t really doing anything important, and Taeyong had done plenty of favors for him when Mark could have easily done them himself; besides, it would take hardly any time at all and then Mark can be back at the dorms on his phone and trying to come up with a plan on how to talk to Donghyuck.

“OK,” Says Mark as he tucks his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. “I’ll go get it. Have fun with your friends, hyung.”

The smile Taeyong gives him could light up a whole room, and as Mark walks past him he reaches out and ruffles Mark’s hair, “Thanks, you’re the best.” He coos.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mark smiles, “Just know, I’ll remember this when I want chicken at 3am and you’re the only one awake.”

“Noted.” Taeyong says.

By the time Mark’s grabbed a jacket and shoved his keys and wallet into one of the pockets, Taeyong had disappeared. He was probably already down at the train station, assumes Mark, as he pushes his feet into his shoes and begins down the hallway to the elevator.

It’s not as cold out here as Mark thought it would be when he steps onto the street. In fact, it was nice enough to walk. It might make it take a little longer before he gets back home again, but there’s no point in wasting money when he could comfortably walk. It doesn’t occur to him to ask why Taeyong hadn’t asked anyone else as he crosses the road, nearing the studios, nor where everyone had been in the unnaturally quiet dorm when it should have been loud and full of the other members.

Mark keeps his cap low over his eyes and his face mask high on his nose as he walks up the short path to the studio, pausing for a second to punch in his keycode before the door chimes and he’s let in. The studios here are all in the basement, below the dance rooms, and so while Mark waits for the elevator he taps his shoe impatiently. Once it arrives and Mark has gone down, the doors open into a dimly lit hallway.

That gets Mark’s attention, making him a little wary. It shouldn’t be completely dark down here, not yet, it was only around nine at night and Mark knew that there should be people still around; he had heard the EXO hyungs were having a comeback soon, so surely some of them would be down here.

It was then when Mark realizes Taeyong also didn’t tell him what studio he had been in. Gritting his teeth Mark surveys, the doors that he can see from the dim overhead lights, ones that usually should be much brighter, and his eyes naturally fall on studio number ten. It was one of the smaller studios, the smallest actually, tucked away at the end of the hallway. It was usually the one Taeyong took because it was no one elses first pick, and Taeyong had explained that it was more than enough space for just him, so if there was any studio that the laptop was likely to be in it was that one.

Mark hurries down the hallway, just wanting to get Taeyong’s laptop and go back to his dorm. When Mark tries the studio door first he finds it unlocked, the second weird thing that really should have made Mark suspicious but continues on with this sole task in mind.

Unlike the hallway, it’s bright in here. All the lights are on, but Mark doesn’t get a second to stop and consider that because movement catches his eye and when he looks up Mark freezes; failing to notice the figure behind him until it’s too late and Mark barely catches the sight of Taeyong pulling the door closed behind them, Doyoung standing beside him with an apologetic smile and Sicheng behind them looking mischievous, before the sound of the lock sliding into place reaches Mark’s ears.

Fuck, it was a set up. Mark was so stupid, how on earth had he fallen for that? There were too many suspicious things about Taeyong’s request, and the building being dark, but Mark had been so focused that he hadn’t even thought about it and now here he was, trapped in a room with –

_Fuck._

Mark turns back to face the room, and it’s like the whole world had slowed down around them, the kind of things you’d see in those rom-com drams Jungwoo liked to watch. There, sitting on the low couch shoved into the corner of the room, looking absolutely murderous was Donghyuck.

The two stood, and sat respectively, silently as they eyed each other up. Donghyuck had his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets and, feeling suddenly self- conscious, Mark copies him and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets; suddenly feeling far too hot in this small room. Mark wasn’t sure about Donghyuck, but he definitely didn’t want to make the first move, not wanting to make Donghyuck mad for any reason.

‘ _Or_ ,’ Mark’s mind supplies, ‘ _This could be a good thing, you could tell him now_.’

More silence passes, Mark can hear the others outside talking in hushed tones, telling each other to be quiet. His chest is pounding so hard in his chest Mark thinks for sure that Donghyuck could hear it, his palms all sweaty and clammy. The silence is oppressive, boring down on him, his stomach sinking lower and lower. Eventually he couldn’t take any more of the silence and, against his better judgement, finally blurts out,

“Hey.”

‘ _Great_ ,’ Mark thinks, ‘ _A real conversation starter there, Mark Lee_.’

“Hi.” Donghyuck replies, lips pursed, tone tight. It was obvious he really didn’t want to be in this situation either, but he was just as stuck in here as Mark was.

Back to square one, but Mark perseveres against his better judgement, “How’re you?”

Donghyuck shakes his head, sucking at his teeth, “Don’t do that,” He says in that same cold tone, “Don’t pretend like we’re fine.”

It’s weird seeing Donghyuck like this. Usually he was the bright one, the loud one, the happy one, and although he and Mark had had fights before, like that summer fight so many years ago, it had never lasted that long and Donghyuck was back to his smiley, happy, obnoxiously loud sunshine ass before the day ended.

“S- sorry,” Mark blurts. He fucked up, god he fucked up, there was no way he could tell Donghyuck like this when the younger didn’t seem interested in hearing anything Mark had to say. His whole body felt like it was drenched in cold sweat now, and Mark swore he could feel it collecting on his forehead.

Still, the silence was just as bad, if not worse, than Donghyuck telling him to back off. “So,” he starts, drawing out the vowel sound,” Did Taeyong trick you down here too?”

Donghyuck keeps eye contact for a second longer before looking away, scanning the room instead like he would find some secret on how to get him out of here quicker. The thought sends a painful pang through Mark’s chest. Donghyuck really didn’t want to be in here with him, he really just didn’t want anything to do with Mark and it was all Mark’s fault.

“Yes,” Donghyuck finally admits, and then, without prompting, adds, “He told me something about his headphones being down here, how about you?”

Cold, but still a conversation, one that Mark could hold at least. As long as they talked to each other, even if it meant both boys ignored the painfully obvious elephant in the room, it was enough for Mark for now.

“Laptop,” Mark supplies and when Donghyuck arches eye eyebrow, still not looking directly at Mark, he adds, “The one ‘Yong writes all his songs on, said he needed it do some late night song writing.”

“Ah,” Donghyuck nods. He pauses and for a second Mark thinks he’s not going to say anything else, watching as Donghyuck chews the inside of his lip before he finally spits, “Honestly you’re kind of a dumbass. You know that’s his work computer, he’s never taken it home.” It’s spoken so fast, like Donghyuck didn’t want to think of the implications, that Mark barely manages to understand it; when he does though a warmth spreads through his chest because yes, this is what he and Donghyuck used to be like, a whole lot of banter and calling each other out, and it feels incredibly good to know that even though they were in the middle of a fight it was easy to naturally fall back into doing that.

“Yeah,” Mark admits, cheeks feeling hot. “It was a pretty dumbass move on my part.”

Donghyuk hums, staring at Mark until the black haired male has to look away, gaze skirting around Donghyuk’s converse until he hears Donghyuck sigh,

“Stop just standing around. Sit down, Mark.”

Mark looks up hurriedly, noting how Donghyuck was pointedly looking at him. Right, he was being weird, this was weird. Mark fumbles, almost tripping in his hurry to get to the office chair tucked under the desk, sitting next to Donghyuk was too much too soon. He hears what he thinks is a laugh as Mark pulls the chair out, turns it and plops himself down, but when he next looks at Donghyuck the younger has cooled his expression, making him look nonchalant.

They’re silent for a long time, too long. Mark keeps going what he so desperately wants to confess in his head, over and over until he thinks he’s about to go mad, but every time he opens his mouth Mark second guesses himself and shuts his mouth again. Instead he tucks his hands between his knees, keeping his shoulders slumped and his gaze low. He knows he’s being pathetic, that he looks pathetic, but how do you just confess to someone who’s refused to be in the same room for you for weeks now? Who refused to even look at you until you’re locked up together and they have nowhere else to look any way?

Donghyuk beats him to it in the end.

“Mark,” He says quietly, Mark nearly missing it over the pounding in his heart. “I still can’t understand what happened between us.”

It’s funny how a simple sentence can make Mark’s whole mouth go dry in a second. Snapping his head up he tries to meet Donghyuck’s gaze, but the younger is staring firmly at the door, refusing to look at Mark; almost like he had simply been musing and accidentally said it aloud. No, this was no mistake, Mark sees Donghyuck’s gaze flick towards him before flicking away just as fast, he had asked on purpose. Mark doesn’t know whether to be excited or scared shitless, because if Donghyuck was willing to talk to him that meant that Mark finally had a chance to confess, it was just the actual talking back part that had Mark’s stomach tying up in knots.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Mark replies, still wanting to feign innocence for now, to go slowly and not scare Donghyuck off.

It was the wrong move. Donghyuck snaps his gaze towards him and now Mark can see the furious line of his eyebrows, the straight line of his mouth, the fire in his eyes.

“Oh, fuck off,” Donghyuck says, leaning towards him and Mark feels the sudden urge to back the fuck off before he gets swung at, not that he can, they’re stuck in an incredibly small studio. “One day everything’s fine and we’re fooling around, and the next day you go completely silent and refuse to even talk to me. You shut me out completely, Mark.”

“I know- I”

“-And I thought you were just being a little bitch and got cold feet or something, so I waited, I waited for you to talk to me because that’s what best friends do Mark! Yet you still refuse to talk to me after we’ve fought so bad the hyungs had to step in! what is going _on_ Mark? Did you suddenly realize you were straight or something, is that it? and now you’re too much of a pussy to tell me?” Donghyuck stands up in the middle of his rant, striding across the two feet it takes to get to Mark and standing right in front of him as he yells, eyebrows drawn together so much they pinch, “Well news flash, dumbass, it’s not like what we were doing was special! What did you think I’d do, break down and cry? We were just fucking around dude, it meant nothing to –“

Heat simmers in Mark’s veins, heartbeat pounding in his ears. He moves before he thinks about it, standing up and getting right back in Donghyuck’s face too, so close that he can feel the hot air between them.

“I didn’t talk to you!?” he yells, ignoring the look of shock on Donghyuck’s face when he steps forwards, using his height to an advantage over Donghyuck. “You’re the one who kept leaving whenever I’d get near you! You’re the one who kept picking fights at me before I even got a chance to try and explain! And now you want to stand here and preach that you’re the one that has it hard?” At his side Mark curls his hands into fists so hard that his nails dig into his palms, “I lost sleep trying to figure this all out Donghyuck! So don’t stand there and tell me it meant nothing to you because it meant _everything to me-“_

Donghyuck punches him, hard, and right in the gut. Mark splutters, curling in over himself and clutching at his stomach, desperately trying to get air and over his gasping he hears Donghyuck growl,

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say that, don’t you dare give me-“

Mark doesn’t listen. The blood that was barely simmering in his veins is now boiling and the second he manages to get some air he’s moving, throwing his own punch. He hits Donghyuck in the jaw, hard enough that hears a crack, but it’s too late to ponder where it came from because as Donghyuck falls backwards he manages to latch onto Mark’s shirt, pulling the black haired male down with him.

They land with Mark’s knees on either side of Donghyuck’s hips and he knows he should stop, he knows, but Mark’s vision is turning red and so he hits Donghyuck one, twice, _three_ times till his vision narrows and all he can hear is the pounding of his blood throughout his body, chanting in time with Mark’s hits,

‘ _Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck.’_

Mark’s yelling something, he’s not sure what, and Donghyuck’s holding his arms over his face but there’s something stinging in Mark’s eyes and so he closes them, every blind punch loosing weight until finally he’s barely tapping Donghyuck. There’s yelling, from him, from Donghyuck but Mark isn’t sure what’s being said and before he figures it out there’s the sound of a door being yanked open and more yelling all around him. Hands appear on his arms, gripping tightly, pulling him away. Mark fights against them, not understanding what was happening or who it was but what he does know is that all the fire in his veins is gone, and those are tears streaming down his face and stinging his eyes, and all he wants is –

‘ _Donghyuck.’_

He allows himself to be yanked away from Donghyuck’s prone form into the corridor and further, the hands under his arms strong where his feet were not. The corridors around him are a blur of navy, then steel that Mark shut his eyes too, then poorly lit crème leading into glass doors before suddenly the cool night air jumps at him and the dimly lit street came into view. As soon as the arms underneath his arms disappeared Mark collapsed into a crouch, shoving his face into his hands as everything came crashing down upon him.

His whole body ached and shook, his sobs wracking his form as he crouched there, feeling heavy with regret and absolutely distraught; how could he do that, why did he do that, he didn’t deserve to lay a single finger on Donghyuck and yet Mark had punched him, had hurt him, when all he had wanted to do was confess. Mark didn’t even deserve to confess now, didn’t even deserve to have that kind of happiness. There was no way he was going to be allowed to stay in the group, not when he had let his feelings get in the way of the group, of his friendship with Donghyuck, no, he deserved to be kicked out, he didn’t have a place between them he- he-

“Hey,” a soft touch to his shoulder, “Mark, It’s OK.”

If anything, that just made him cry harder. Why was he being pitied? Why was he being told it was OK? it wasn’t, this wasn’t OK, he didn’t deserve sympathy.

Yet, the soft voice calmed him down a little, quietened the negative voices in his head a little.

Another pair of hands on his right side, the sound of two people crouching down, the touch getting firmer as he was used to keep balance. “Mark,” A second voice says, “Hey, we’re here, let it all out.”

He didn’t deserve it, but that didn’t stop Mark from leaning into the touch, letting it wash over him as he cried, his tears soaking the knees of his pants and the pavement below him. The touches stayed there for as long as Mark cried, if it was barely ten minutes or half an hour Mark didn’t know, but finally he’s able to calm down a little and look up, wiping at his face and blinking furiously at the dark scenery around him until he could finally see.

Looking left and right, Mark wasn’t surprised to find Youngho and Yuta looking back, small smiles on their faces and their hands ever present on his back.

“S-Sorry,” is the first thing out of Mark’s mouth, feeling like a child who had cried because his balloon had flown away, as he wipes at his face a little harder. His head feels all stuffy and his cheeks are hot against the cool air around them, his nose all blocked up. “I didn’t mean – is Donghyuck OK?”

His question stuns even himself. Youngho and Yuta look at each other over his back, then returning back to Mark.

“He’s fine,” Yuta leans in closer, putting his arm over Mark, sharing his warmth. “Don’t worry, Jungwoo, Taeil-hyung and Taeyong- hyung are with him.”

Mark swallows, “But I hit him really hard, isn’t he-“

“Mark,” Youngho says from his other side, “He’s OK. We’re going to take you back to the dorms now and Taeyong-hyung will check up on you tomorrow. Can you walk?”

They’re clearly trying to keep him from making things worse, Mark realizes. The thought doesn’t make him feel better, in fact it sends a heaviness into his stomach that makes Mark doubt whether he’ll be able to get up at all, yet still he nods and allows both Youngho and Yuta to haul him up. The walk back is completely silent, Youngho and Yuta not even trying to make him laugh. They probably both knew nothing would work now, instead waiting for Mark to say something to them.

Mark doesn’t have anything to say, not until he’s sitting in the bathroom on a footstool with Yuta kneeling in front of him, tending to the wounds on Mark’s knuckles (They make him sick to look at, all raw and bloodied) and Yuta’s in the middle of bandaging them when Mark mutters,

“Tell Donghyuck I’m sorry, please.”

Yuta looks up, meeting Mark’s eye but the younger can’t tell at all what he’s thinking. “I will,” Yuta promises, “Now stay still.”

-

When Mark wakes up in the morning it’s not to the sound of birdsong, it’s to the sound of rain. Grey light filters through his net curtains, the blinking red lights on his clock telling him it’s barely past six in the morning, making the room look morbid to match his own mood. Mark sits up, groaning at the stiffness of his joints and way his jeans were digging into him at the waist; he had obviously passed out on top of his bedsheets last night, but one of the members had come in and placed a thick woolen blanket over him, saving Mark from catching a cold.

Against his will, all that had happened last night came flooding back to him. The yelling, the angry look in Donghyuck’s eyes, the furrow of his brow, the feeling of his skin under Mark’s knuckles, the pain in Mark’s chest. He shoves his face into his palms again, trying to make it all go away, but the darkness only makes flashbacks dance in front of his eyelids.

A knock on the door startles Mark out of his self-loathing, making him hurriedly pull his face out of hands. For a second he’s confused, no one should be awake this early in the morning, before he remembers what Youngho had said the night before.

“Mark?” Taeyong’s voice calls through the door, “Are you awake?”

He’s not ready for a talk, but Mark can’t refuse him. “Yeah,” he calls as he wipes his palms against the blanket, trying to calm down, “Come in.”

Taeyong twists the handle and pushes the door open, appearing around the doorframe with two mugs of some steaming hot liquid. He looks just as tired as Mark feels, with dark bags underneath his eyes that are a stark contrast against the paleness of his skin. As Taeyong shuts the door and comes closer he hands Mark a mug, one that Mark takes gratefully, before sitting down on the bed beside the younger males’ feet.

As Mark waits for Taeyong to speak he takes a whiff of the hot liquid, finding it was coffee. His heart jumps a little, glad that although something horrible had happened Taeyong had still bought him some coffee for comfort. Mark takes a sip and feels the hot coffee warm him from the inside, making the grey of the room and the heaviness in his chest alleviate a little.

“So,” Taeyong starts, looking away from Mark at his own coffee. “I actually wanted to start by apologizing.”

Mark’s so surprised he nearly chokes on his coffee, “What?” He exclaims, voice cracking, “Why? I was the one who-“ he cuts off, he can’t even say it, but Taeyong understands.

“True, but I was the one who forced you two together. I should have known better, so I’m sorry.”

“Ah,” He’s not wrong, but still Mark feels odd getting an apology when he had been the one who had fucked up. “It’s OK,” he said lamely, “I don’t blame you.” It’s not a lie, he doesn’t blame Taeyong, he can barely get his own thoughts straight in his head let alone blame the whole thing on someone else.

Taeyong nods, offering Mark a smile when he looks up. “Lighten up a little,” Says the older, nudging Mark with his foot. “Nothing bad is going to happen, you’re not getting kicked out, I just wanted to hear what happened from your side of the story.”

Mark blinks, surprised, “I’m-“ He repeats, slowly, making sure he’s hearing this correctly, “I’m not getting kicked out? But I hit a teammate, there’s gotta be a rule for that, I deserve-“

“Hey!” Grabbing his arm, Taeyong forces Mark to stop, forcing the black haired male to look at him. “Stop. You don’t deserve anything like that. We’re not planning on telling the manager- hyungs, so you need to keep quiet too. Now, like I was saying-“ Mark goes to interrupt, goes to say how they should be telling their managers, how he should be punished, but Taeyong just gives him a look that shuts Mark up straight away. “I wanted to hear what happened from your side.”

“I-“ Mark quickly cuts himself off. He can’t say anything without outing himself, all of his fights with Donghyuck have been because of Mark’s own indecisiveness about how he was feeling. Was he really ready to share that with someone besides Youngho?

Later on, Mark will wonder how Taeyong did it. While he’s in the middle of having a conflict, Taeyong silently reaches out and places his hand on Mark’s arm, snapping the younger out of it and getting Mark to meet his eyes.

“Would it help,” Taeyong says in a quiet voice, one that would surely not be able to be heard outside his room, “If I told you that you aren’t the only one in this dorm who had a similar realization in their life.”

Which, really, could mean anything but with the way Taeyong was pointedly looking at him and look in his eyes, Mark understood immediately what he meant.

Feeling all the wind go out of his sails, Mark whispers, “How did you know? Did someone tell you?”

Taeyong quickly shakes his head, his lip curling, “No one did. I just watched. Having gone through something similar, it was easy to see the signs. Don’t worry, Mark, you aren’t alone. Now, are you ready to tell me things from your side?”

Mark’s still partially stunned, having gone from thinking he was the only one, to finding out Youngho was like him too, then Taeyong, his head was spinning a bit; briefly he wondered if Taeyong was the one Youngho had alluded too so long ago. Still, he nods, eager to speak but still being careful.

“Donghyuck and I-“ he starts, slowly, careful to keep his voice down just in case someone walked past. “We were messing around for a while and I, uhm, I let my feelings get in the way,” Mark can feel his cheeks heating up, not really believing that he was telling someone else this so easy. So much had happened in the span of 24 hours, and Mark was barely holding on. “I stopped talking to Donghyuck, but we went on that camping trip and we had that fight,”

Taeyong nods, urging him to keep going while being careful not to interrupt.

“Then we came back here but he kept ignoring me, and I was trying to figure out how I felt after talking to Youngho about it in the cabin, but we had that fight in the training room before I did,” this part hurts. It hurts to remember the fight in the training room, let alone the one from last night, but still he keeps going, “I figured it out weeks later, but I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t find the right time and he kept ignoring me, and then last night happened and-“

He stops rambling, his cheeks beet red and fire hot, and trails off. Taeyong nods, putting his hand on Mark’s knee, and quietly says,

“I see. So that’s why you were ignoring each other.”

Mark nods, looking down and away from Taeyong’s piercing gaze.

“Yeah.” He says as he stares down at his cup of coffee, feeling a wave of regret and shame wash over him.

Taeyong is silent for a bit, clearly musing over Mark’s words. Mark hears him take a sip of coffee and does the same, finding it odd how the weight in his chest wasn’t as bad as before, finding how he feels oddly comforted by the fact that now that Taeyong knows he can be a little more open, a little more like who he truly was rather than having to pretend all the time to save his own self.

“I think,” Taeyong finally starts quietly, “It’ll be good to stay away from each other for a while, just to let his all boil over. Donghyuck decided to stay with the dreamies until we fly to China anyway.” 

It hurts a little to know that Donghyuck had already chosen to stay as far away from Mark as he can already, but the black haired male supposes it’s for the best. If another fight broke out between here and them going to China then it’d be bad, for them and for the group.

Mark takes another sip of coffee, nodding to let Taeyong know he had heard him. Taeyong falls quiet again, but it’s not long lived.

“Mark, do you really want to work things out with Donghyuck?”

“What?” Mark looks up so quick his neck cracks, his eyebrows shooting up. “Of course, I do. I want him to be my boy-“ he cuts himself off, suddenly aware of what he’s saying, but the damage is done and his cheeks turn red again when he sees the way Taeyong’s lip curls into a smirk.

“Then I’m sure things will work out,” Taeyong says, leaning back on one hand, taking a long sip of his coffee. Mark watches him, waiting for Taeyong to say more, but all Taeyong does is raise an eyebrow and nonchalantly shrug,

“Trust me.”

Mark knows he shouldn’t, not when it was Taeyong who forced them into an enclosed space and made this whole fight happen, and yet he finds himself nodding and smiling back.

“OK, hyung.”

-

Mark’s knuckles heal within five days, but the bruise on his abdomen stays longer. Mark finds himself tracing it absently in the shower, feeling where the skin is slightly raised and tender against his fingertips. It’s horrible but he wishes it would stay a little longer, just so that he had a reminder of where Donghyuck had touched him last, so he had a reminder from when they last saw each other. He didn’t mean too but a couple of times he took a little too long in the shower, tracing the purple skin with one hand while the other dipped lower – it was sick, twisted even, Mark knew, but he couldn’t get Donghyuck out of his head.

The group worked around their fight. Donghyuck didn’t show up for practice at the same time as the group, instead practicing with Taeyong and Sicheng as just a trio. Yuta stood in for Donghyuck for the little dance break they were supposed to do, and yet as the performance loomed even closer Mark wondered if he Donghyuck would even end up performing on stage with them let alone dance with Mark. If their dance teacher knew anything he didn’t say anything, nor did their manager, and yet Mark found himself stuck with this Donghyuck shaped hole in his chest.

He missed Donghyuck more than when they still stayed in the same dorm together, more than when they still danced together despite the fact that it was forced. It’s these reasons that Mark blames when he finds himself awake at two in the morning when his hands have healed but his stomach is still faintly discolored, the mark still hurting if he pressed on it hard enough with his fingers, his phone in near reach. Mark turns and grabs it, unlocking and clicking into Donghyuck’s contact before he can even think about it before he stills.

Mark has no right to be concerned, and yet he still musters up the courage to type in his message, finger pausing on the ‘send’ button. He knows it’s stupid, irrational, and doubts he’ll even get a reply, and yet he can’t help but continue to stare up at his phone held in one hand while the other traces the bruise on his abdomen. It makes goosebumps raise on his skin, thrilling him enough to make Mark twitch and yet he does nothing but lay there and absently trace over the ‘send’ button with his thumb.

He falls asleep before he musters up the courage to send the message, phone landing with a ‘thunk’ on the bed beside Mark, the message on the screen blinking up at the ceiling like it’s hoping it will somehow make its way to the recipient before Mark’s phone ultimately turns off.

To **Lee ‘Hyuck** : I miss you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ! please leave a kudos and a comment if you wish. As I said before, the next chapter is still apart of this one part, so it's right there for you to continue reading. 
> 
> My tumblr is: 2kitsuneao3 - follow me there for updates on new stories / chapters and feel free to come talk to me if you want! my inbox is always open.


	8. Relief pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go guys !! the final part of two bros ! I don't wanna get sentimental or anything but I've really been enjoying posting this and seeing all your comments, this fic took a long time for me to write before I started posting it so seeing everyone enjoy it just makes me really happy - I promise that I do read all your comments, even if I don't reply, and I love seeing what you all have to say. 
> 
> Well, onto the final part !

Donghyuck appears again the day before they fly out. They’re arriving in China two days early so that the team can arrive, have a good sleep, then have a day of exploring before their performance the next night. This, Mark knew, but he was still surprised when he woke up one morning and found Donghyuck lugging his suitcase into the main foyer, already in the middle of a conversation with Taeyong before he looks up and sees Mark standing there awkwardly by the door. The smile he was giving Taeyong immediately disappears and instead replaced with a frown that makes Mark feels small, one that makes all the previous warmth in his body seem to turn cold.

Taeyong notices, Donhyuck had of course turned away from him to meet eyes with Mark, but before he could open his mouth to say something to get the two to talk Donghyuck was pushing past him into the living room as he called out for the others, leaving Mark and Taeyong alone in the foyer.

“Mark-“ Taeyong starts,

“No,” Mark cuts over him, holding his hands up in front of himself, palms out, like he was surrendering. “It’s OK. I’ll be in my room.”

It is like a surrender, the way he goes back to his room, head hung low, eyes on the floor. Mark can hear Donghyuck from the lounge, can hear the smile in his words, can hear the laughter in his voice and it hurts, it hurts so bad, but the one thing that hurts the most as Mark shuts his door with a little more force than necessary is that none of it is for him.

Yet, all Mark can think as lies down on his bed, one hand slipping up under his shirt and his other bringing up his phone to look at the message he’s still trying to send Donghyuck from one night ago, is how he’s determined to make that voice for him again.

-

The flight to China wasn’t long technically, it only took close to two hours, but for Mark it felt like ages. He spent most of it listening to music and looking outside at the sea of white clouds, but every now and again as one song stopped and a new one began he could hear Donghyuck across the aisle laughing with Jungwoo. It’s not that Mark was jealous, he had gotten past that, but more of the fact that Donghyuck was so close and all Mark would have to do was find the courage to confess, or apologize if it turns out Donghyuck didn’t want him anymore, and everything would be OK again.

By the time they get off the plane Mark’s head is full mush. He had tried to sleep and instead floated between conscious and unconsciousness, aware of the noises around him but too out of it to respond. Mark hides himself behind Youngho, hoodie up, as they exit the departure gate and are immediately flooded by paparazzi. Their security team step in, doing what they’re meant too, and get the group outside.

Mark gratefully breathes in the humid air, filling his lungs to their capacity and then breathing it all out again. Ahead of him Donghyuck was already stepping into one of the black SUV waiting for them, and Mark not so patiently waits for his turn, now behind Yuta, before clambering in too. At the back Donghyuck was already settled with Doyoung, clinging onto him and probably annoying the hell out of Doyoung, but he looks up just in time to make eye contact with Mark before the moment passes and Donghyuck turns back to Doyoung and Mark slides into his seat next to Yuta.

They arrive at their hotel in the next half hour just as night was settling in and the sky was quickly turning from gentle pink and fire orange to inky darkness. Mark jumps out as soon as he can and follows behind Taeil into the hotel, momentarily distracted by high ceilings and marble columns, holding onto Taeil while their rooms are sorted.

“Here,” Mark looks up to find Taeyong at his side holding out a hotel room key, “I got you a room to yourself.”

Which is a little odd, considering none of them ever got rooms to themselves, but it’s too sudden for Mark to question why he was getting a room alone. He barely manages a,

“Th- thanks, hyung but why-“

Before Taeyong is moving, pointing towards the elevators, “Come on, the others have already gone up.”

It takes a second before Mark realizes what Taeyong had actually said and, after a quick look around, finds just him and Taeyong and a few other staff members standing in the foyer. Pocketing his hotel key Mark follows Taeyong into the elevator, a few of their staff breaking off to follow just in case. It’s a little awkward, and cramped, meaning Mark kind of has to press against Taeyong’s side just so they all fit, but he watches in awe as the little numbers on the display keep going up and up all the way to the 27th floor.

“This is you,” Taeyong pushes at Mark’s elbow, making Mark stumble out into the hallway. He turns in time to find Taeyong before the door shuts, immediately noticing an odd little glint in Taeyong’s eyes that Mark was sure wasn’t there before. “I’m on the floor above you with Doyoung, same as Yuta with Taeil, and Youngho is with Jaehyun on this floor, same as Jungwoo and Sicheng.”

There’s a name missing, one that doesn’t dawn on Mark until the elevator doors are just about to slide shut and all Mark manages to say is, “Wait- hyung!” before they closed and Taeyong is, presumably, being whisked away to the floor above, leaving Mark standing speechless in the middle of the corridor.

Slowly, like it was going to bite him, Mark reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his room key. In the golden light of the corridor three numbers shine back at him, unassuming and innocent despite everything. Mark isn’t quite sure he can do this, maybe he was overthinking and he really was getting a room alone and Taeyong had just forgotten to mention where Donghyuck would be, or maybe Taeyong had planned everything up to this point and Mark really was about to step into a room he was supposed to share for the next three days with Donghyuck who refused to even talk to him right now.

Either way, he couldn’t keep standing in the hallway like some creep. Taking a second to take a deep breath, Mark looks up to check the numbers on the wall and the ones on his keycard before turning left and starting down the corridor. The closer he gets the louder his heart seems to beat, pounding in his ears to the point where it’s almost deafening, sweat prickling underneath his armpits and at the nape of his neck.

‘247,

249,

251,

 **253’** he was here.

There’s a lump in his throat by the time Mark stops in front of the door, his stomach threatening to overturn and make a mess of the nice carpet. At first he raises his hand to knock and then remembers the door key, the one presently threatening to snap from the way Mark was currently bending it. He takes the time to breathe a little as he unclenches his hand and smooths out the keycard again, hoping to find even just a little bit of courage, before sliding the keycard into the slot.

The light blinks red twice, then stays a solid green followed by an unlocking sound. Mark was in.

Holding his breath, Mark pushes the door open. There’s no immediate noise from the room and the lights are off, but Mark does notice the faintest light coming from further into the room, around the corner from the short corridor the door creates before opening into the actual room.

Mark’s still holding his breath and he steps in the strides down the short hallway, flinching at the sound of the door slamming shut behind him, and his worst fears are confirmed when he rounds the corner and finds not only one of the side lamps on but also a familiar figure on the double bed closest to the window.

Suddenly that light in Taeyong’s eyes made sense. Fuck Taeyong and his meddling, he had seen where it had gotten them last time, what made him think this would work better now? It was too late to turn back now too, Donghyuck was already looking at him, having absolutely heard the door, and shit –

All the words Mark had planned, the speech he had rehearsed to make this all better, all went out the window in one foul swoop as soon as Donghyuck’s eyes met him. Mark tries to get the words out, but his mouth was full of cotton wool, his tongue a useless lump of muscle, and so all he manages is,

“S- sorry.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, shutting his phone off and throwing it onto the bed beside him.

“Wow,” the sandy blond drawls, “Is that all it takes to get an apology out of you?”

Which is so typically the usual level of snark Donghyuck gives that Mark is shocked a little, expecting a much less welcome response. It’s enough to make him pause in his tracks, having already planned on turning around and walking right out, and maintain eye contact with Donghyuck rather than looking away.

“I-“ Mark starts, not sure of what to say next. “I didn’t think you would be in here. Taeyong- hyung said I was getting this room to myself.”

Donghyuck sits up, pulling his legs underneath himself so that he was sitting cross legged and fixes Mark with a smirk. “And you believed him?” He asks, rolling his eyes, “Even after last time?”

“Well I had no reason-“ Mark starts, getting a little angry. How could Donghyuck just completely ignore him but then once they were forced into a room together he went straight back to teasing like nothing had happened, like nothing was wrong?

“Look, I’ll just go get a different room, it’s fine-“

“No, wait-“ Donghyuck says and reaches out like he was going to stop Mark, only to quickly drop his hand back down to the covers, “There’s no point, you’d just be creating a problem for everyone else.”

“So, I’m a problem then?”

“What?” Donghyuck blinks at him, mouth falling open a little.

“I’m the problem.” Mark re-iterates, not sure where he was going with this, or why, but Donghyuck’s words had hit just a little too close to home. That’s what he had labeled himself not so long ago, what he had been constantly telling himself – that _he_ was the problem, that all of this had been created because he had let his feelings get in the way and then before he could figure it all out Mark had instead gone and messed everything up.

Well,” Donghyuck starts, and just for a second Mark thinks he’s going to say something positive, that Mark had gotten all this wrong and maybe Donghyuck didn’t hate his guts, when the younger continues, “No, but yes. You’re not the problem, but you made the problem. We were fine, Mark, and then outta nowhere you fucking went radio silent on me and refused to tell me what was up, and then we kept _fighting_ and-“

“Shut up.” This wasn’t how it was meant to go; this wasn’t how it was meant to go at all. The situation was quickly getting out of hand, Mark loosing those words he had spent so long planning and then planning again because it never seemed to come out right, never seemed to sound how Mark wanted it to sound, and instead they were just heading towards another fight. In the next brief seconds Mark feels a number of emotions go through him, one that made him want to curl up in a ball and cry, one that left him empty inside, one that made him want to yell and throw things, and one that made him feel like nothing was ever going to be OK again; all he wanted was that, all he wanted was everything to be OK again, but it really looked like they were too far past that.

“No, I won’t,” Donghyuck snaps as he climbs of the bed, eyes flashing. Mark steps back, dropping his book bag on the floor with a low _thunk_ , but Donghyuck keeps following him. “We were best friend, Mark,” He’s still stepping forwards, pushing Mark slowly but surely towards the wall. Mark isn’t sure when Donghyuck became so intimidating, or maybe it’s just the feral look in his eye, the one that tells Mark he’s fucked up, “-and sure, we were fooling around, but I trusted _you-_ “ Mark’s up against the wall now, back pressing against it ever so lightly but still Donghyuck steps forwards still he’s right up in Mark’s space and Mark has no option but to press himself uncomfortably against the wall, “-and you completely cut me out without telling me why. So, excuse me if I’m a little fucking pissed off at you.”

“I-“ Mark flounders, unsure of what to say, or do. This was so much information to process all at one, not to mention Donghyuck currently had him pressed up against the wall with no way to escape. All his previous gusto had been completely lost, leaving him completely off kilter.

Donghyuck stares at him for a long time, his gaze piercing as he waits for Mark to say something, but all Mark can think of is apologizing as he stands there, feeling red hot.

“You’re impossible,” Donghyuck finally scoffs, “You have nothing to say to me, still,” He stares at Mark for a long time and, was it just the light pulling tricks on him or were Donghyuck’s eyes oddly misty as he gnawed at his bottom lip, that fury from earlier still present and stronger than ever; in fact it was almost like an aura, one that threatened to expand throughout the whole room and burst. The heat in Mark’s body raises, fueling him, making him clench his hands into fists – this isn’t how it was supposed to go, this isn’t how it was meant to be – it was too much, too much, _too much._

“Come on, Mark!” Donghyuck raises his voice, and for a second Mark is tempted to shush him in case the others hear, but Donghyuck keeps going. “Tell me why we even started this, because we just wanted to fool around in case we got _girlfriends?_ Because we were fucking comfortable and the option was there!? Are we – no, are _you_ really going to let something as stupid as us fooling around get in the way of, oh I don’t know, you talking to me ever again because you won’t tell me what’s _fucking wrong!?_ Mark!” He’s getting so worked up, eyes wet and face screwed up, his face so close that Mark can feel the brush of air every time Donghyuck yells. Mark himself is frozen solid, the thoughts in his head going a mile a minute but his mouth unable to transform any of it into words – too much, _too much, too much._

Donghyuck leans in, “Fuck you, OK?” He spits, “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to be completely shut off by you!? You were my best friend, Mark, we did everything together! I told you things I wouldn’t tell _anyone_ else, I _trusted_ you and then you just throw it back in my face and for what!? What is it, Mark?” Donghyuck’s voice raises to a pitch, to the point where he’s yelling the last half of the sentence and screams Mark’s name, voice cracking painfully and hurting Mark’s ears because he’s so close, too close, close enough that their noses are touching.

_-too much, too much, too much._

Mark moves before the thinks about it properly, reaching out to grab Donghyuck’s wrist a little too hard, fingers digging into bone before he twists them around. Donghyuck’s back thumps against the wall so hard Mark’s half worried their neighbors heard it, but the other half of him doesn’t care as he presses right up into Donghyuck’s space much like the younger male had just been doing to him. Once he’s there Mark slams his hands on either side of Donghyuck’s head, creating a space where the sandy blond absolutely cannot escape, and gets so close he can see the way Donghyuck’s eyes widen, can see the way Donghyuck’s breathing falters and catches in his throat.

“I caught feelings, OK!?” Mark spits and god, it’s such a relief, all his fears and worries diminishing as he releases this torrent of words that had been pent up inside of him for so long. “I stopped talking to you because I got jealous of you talking and being around other guys and I didn’t know what do to, I didn’t know what is was, I’ve never been in a relationship let alone fuck around with a friend for so long and I was _confused,_ ‘Hyuck!” he can’t stop, leaning in as he keeps going and feeling his heart soar as Donghyuck tries to back up but can’t, he can’t, because he’s trapped between the wall and Mark. “So I stopped talking to you, and you got mad, which is fair, but then we kept fighting and I just couldn’t figure out what was _wrong_ with me but then I got it, I figured out that I was jealous because I fucking liked you, ‘Hyuck! But then you wouldn’t talk to me and I couldn’t find the right time to bring it up and then Taeyong got us in the recording booth together and I was so ready to just spit it out but-“

“Mark-“

“Shut the fuck up,” Mark cuts over him. He feels like he’s on fire, like all of his skin is electrified, and his heart is pounding from adrenaline, from nerves, from the relief, “then we fought again and I was ready to drop it, to try again way in the future when maybe we started talking again, but then Taeyong played us again and got us in this room together and you started this stupid fucking argument and now here I am, telling you it’s all because I couldn’t find the right time, or maybe I’m just a fucking coward and I had already thought I had lost you completely, but it’s you! it’s _you_ Donghyuck, I liked you – no, I like _you_ and I want you to be my boyfriend and I just couldn’t – I couldn’t – and –“

“Mark- “Donghyuck says again, tone low, and it’s then when Mark notes how dark, how dangerous his eyes are. They both pause, just staring at each other, Mark’s chest heaving in his struggle to catch his breath after his outburst, Donghyuck’s eyebrow cocked like he’s waiting for something; and then, with adrenaline still rushing through his veins and his skin on fire, his heart trying to escape up his throat, forehead and his neck shiny with sweat, Mark kisses him.

Donghyuck responds immediately and Mark presses harder, not bothering to play nice and instead biting at Donghyuck’s lips till the sandy blond moans and eagerly opens them. Mark dives in, sliding his tongue alongside Donghyuck’s in a heated movement, using his slight height advantage to press his body right up against Donghyuck’s so that there’s no space between them, using his knee to force open Donghyuck’s legs and slide upwards till he’s pressing up against the sandy blond’s crotch. Donghyuck gasps into his mouth, and Mark’s heart jumps as he uses his hands to press against Donghyuck’s shoulders.

If the way Donghyuck was letting out soft sounds from just some kissing, pressing into Mark as best as he can pinned against the wall, the sandy blond must be just as pent up as Mark was. Still, Mark wanted to go further. He doesn’t get the chance too, though, because in his moment of musing Donghyuck gets the upper hand. In a flurry of moment Donghyuck’s unchecked hands find their way to Mark’s upper arms, turning him in one quick movement and disengaging Mark from Donghyuck. The next second Mark finds himself pressed up against the wall in the same position that he had had Donghyuck in a second ago, the sandy blond’s hands holding Mark’s arms at either side of his body.

“Enough,” Donghyuck growls, lips inches away from Mark’s but not kissing him, their breaths mixing between the two. “I’ve waited too long to have your dick in my mouth again.”

Mark’s still busy processing by the time Donghyuck’s sinking down to his knees in front of him, and it’s not until the sandy blond is deftly undoing the button on Mark’s jeans and unzipping them does he finally come around.

“Yeah?” he husks, blood pounding through his body so fast that it makes head spin. “Did you think about it a lot?”

Donghyuck looks up as he’s pulling open Mark’s jeans, exposing his black underwear, and wraps his fingers around the waistband of both before yanking them down far too fast. Mark’s cock appears, half chubbed but quickly growing from the attention Donghyuck is giving him.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says nonchalantly, hand having left Mark’s jeans and underwear around his knees and now coming up to scratch at Mark’s thighs a little. “I jerked off too it, actually.”

Before Mark could even process it, or come up with a coherent response, Donghyuck’s mouth is on his cock. It’s been so long since Mark has had anything but his own hand that the warmth of Donghyuck’s mouth is immediately overwhelming, causing him to let out a low growl of, “Fuck.” and lean his head back against the wall with a muted thud. Mark feels Donghyuck grin around his cock as he licks over the head, tonguing the slit before letting just the head past the ‘O’ of his lips, and with his hands not being held down Mark can’t resist slipping his hands into Donghyuck’s hair and wrapping his fingers around the sandy blond’s silky locks.

“Look at me,” Donghyuck pulls off of him, wrapping his hands around Mark’s wrists and returning them to the wall, pinning them there. “Mark.”

‘ _Shit.’_ Mark thinks, feeling his cock twitch under Donghyuck’s commanding tone. He hadn’t known he was into being told what to do but having Donghyuck take control was immensely hot. Not wanting to see what would happen if he didn’t obey, Mark looks down and immediately groans, “Oh, shit.”

Donghyuck’s eyes are dark and wild when they meet Mark’s, and he grins as he says, “Good boy. Keep watching me, or I’ll stop.”

Mark’s body temperature raises and makes his cheeks stain red, but he doesn’t look away. Instead he watches as Donghyuck leans in again and takes Mark’s cock so that it’s resting on his tongue, mouth wide open, and when Mark’s cock twitches and raises by itself to bump against Donghyuck’s upper lip the sandy blond looks smug. Wanting to keep things going, Mark pushes his hips forwards a little until his cock is resting back against Donghyuck’s tongue, trying to prompt the sandy blond to keep going and hoping he wouldn’t stop and tell Mark off instead.

Donghyuck complies, shooting him a very obvious look that lets Mark know the sandy blond was aware of how completely turned on Mark was right now, but wraps his mouth around the black haired males’ cock all the same. He’s at full hardness now, not quite aching but getting there, and so it’s all too easy for Donghyuck to sink down on him further than before and it sends tingles down Mark’s spine; he wants to lean his head back again so bad, already finding the pleasure too much, but he keeps his gaze on Donghyuck, his fluttering eyelids and the tensing of his thighs the only signs this was really getting to him.

The wet sounds emitting from Donghyuck’s mouth makes Mark’s stomach clench, drool dripping down onto the sandy blond’s chin and possibly onto the floor between them, but still the sandy blond doesn’t stop. They hadn’t done this often, even though Mark would have been happy to have Donghyuck’s mouth on his cock at any time of the day and vice versa, and he idly wonders if Donghyuck had been practicing somehow because the way Donghyuck was hallowing his lips and starting to slowly bob up and down makes Mark dig his nails into the wall.

Finally, Donghyuck lets go of Mark’s wrists so that he can utilize his own, wrapping one around the base of Mark’s cock for where he can’t reach yet. The touch of his fingers adds pressure where Mark didn’t know he needed it, making him flick his hips forwards before he can think about it. Mark goes to apologize, but his words are cut off by the low groan from Donghyuck and die in his throat at the added vibrations around his cock.

“Shit, ‘Hyuck, I’m-“ Donghyuck winks up at him and sinks further, humming again now on purpose, and it’s not Mark’s fault that his hands fly back to Donghyuck’s hair, fingers pulling lightly at the locks; thankfully Donghyuck doesn’t stop, just gives Mark a look and twists his wrist a little harder on the upstroke to meet his own mouth in the middle.

Mark can’t stop the push of his hips when Donghyuck finally sinks low enough for his nose to brush Mark’s skin, humming as he does so, forcing himself a little further down Donghyuck’s throat. The noise Donghyuck makes is a mixture between a moan and him choking, and Mark hates that it makes his abdomen curl again, obviously liking the sound. Still, Donghyuck doesn’t back off, not even looking that pissed as he pulls back and then sinks down again. Idly in the back of his mind Mark realizes that if he lets Donghyuck go much further he was gonna cum far too soon, but he can’t bear the thought of stopping right now.

Donghyuck taps his hand, forcing Mark’s attention to him and raises an eyebrow, head stilled and Mark’s entire cock in his mouth to the point where it’s probably down his throat at this point. For a second Mark doesn’t understand the look Donghyuck is giving him, but then he remembers this exact same situation in that one video he had watched so long before and it’s like all the breath in his lungs has been stolen.

Trying his best to be careful, Mark pushes his hips forwards in a shallow thrust and when Donghyuck doesn’t immediately gag or pull back he keeps going. Twisting his fingers a little harder into Donghyuck’s hair, he uses that as leverage to keep the sandy blond’s head in place as he fucks inwards, groaning when Donghyuck hums around his cock. With Donghyuck’s eyes half lidded, his teary gaze still on Mark, he looks completely fucked out, and Mark can only imagine how he probably looks the same too.

In his abdomen, Mark feels persistent heat beginning to grow alongside pressure. Knowing what it means he groans, not wanting to stop. Still he fucks forwards, feeling the tight heat of Donghyuck’s throat constrict around his cock, quickly going from slow rolls to quick snaps. It’s probably too much but Donghyuck never stops him, hands still on Mark’s thighs, nails digging in more and more as Mark gets rougher, letting Mark use his throat however he wanted; he definitely practiced, somehow, but Mark wasn’t complaining.

“Shit,” Mark growls before he can stop himself, “Your mouth feels so good, ‘Hyuck.”

Hyuck groans in response and it’s too much, Mark feeling like the vibrations are going all the way from his cock up to the rest of his body. He fucks forwards a little too deep and feels Donghyuck’s throat constrict, pulling his cock deeper, but the pressure in his stomach warns him that Mark was closer than he expected and so he slowly pulls back, an idea formulating in his head.

“Come here.” Mark says once Donghyuck’s mouth is off of him, urging the sandy blond to get up with a tug to his hair. Donghyuck follows, drool still shining on his lower lip and his chin, his eyebrows furrowed in evident confusion. Not bothering to explain Mark quickly turns them again and shoves Donghyuck against the wall, ignoring the sandy blonds’ noises of protest as he sinks to his knees.

“I don’t – oh, _fuck.”_ Donghyuck moans as Mark touches him over his jeans, feeling the bulge there. It seems like Donghyuck had gotten really worked up just from sucking off Mark, because he’s hard as rock and twitching in his jeans, and when Mark finds the head he feels a small wet spot from where Donghyuck had been leaking pre- cum.

“You seem a little excited,” Mark voices as he takes his hands off Donghyuck to reach behind himself and push his jeans off the rest of the way, already on his knees but finding it impossible to balance with the denim constricting him, “Did sucking me off get you that hard, ‘Hyuck?”

“Shut up.” Donghyuck replies, but the pink on his cheeks gives him away, his hands finding Mark’s hair and tugging a little too harsh. It sends a thrill through him, making Mark hiss, and he gives Donghyuck a look before returning back to what he was doing, knowing how he can keep pushing Donghyuck’s buttons. It’s a little different undressing someone else after so long, making Mark fumble as he unbuttons Donghyuck’s jeans, but if the sandy blond notices he doesn’t say anything.

Mark unzips Donghyuck’s jeans and goes for the waistband of them as well as Donghyuck’s underwear, pulling them down slowly together and purposely dragging the material of Donghyuck’s boxers just to hear the sandy blond groan and shift on the spot. Finally, when it’s just the head of Donghyuck’s cock caught, Mark tugs and in one go the sandy blond’s dick springs upwards and hits against skin. Just the sight of it makes Mark’s mouth water, wanting his mouth on it immediately, noting how Donghyuck’s cock was red from being pent up and leaking enough pre-cum from the tip that it left a wet mark on Donghyuck’s abdomen. Wanting to get his mouth there as quickly as possible, Mark yanks down Donghyuck’s jeans and underwear and impatiently waits for the sandy blond to step out of them before throwing them to the side absently without looking.

Keeping eye contact with Donghyuck, Mark leans in and licks a long stipe from base to tip, taking just the head of Donghyuck’s cock into his mouth. Above him the sandy blond lets out a shaky moan and his hands appear on Mark’s head, fingers twitching as they twine into Mark’s locks. Feeling a thrill go through him, Mark hastily takes Donghyuck as far as he can into his mouth, hallowing his mouth and sucking lightly, waiting to hear Donghyuck’s low growl before pulling off just far enough to show the sandy blond’s cock resting on his tongue.

“Stop playing dirty,” Donghyuck husks, “and suck my cock.”

It isn’t fair how even though he’s the one with Donghyuck’s cock in his mouth, it’s the sandy blond’s dirty talk that makes Mark’s cock throb with interest. Still, Mark’s starting to get antsy for the next step, knowing that he can always take his time and worship Donghyuck’s cock the next time he gets a chance to do this.

Mark takes Donghyuck into his mouth again, bobbing lower and lower. It’s been a while and so he has to break away now and again, breathing heavily through his nose and accidentally drooling everywhere, but if the way Donghyuck’s eyes go dark at the sight is anything to go by it seems like the sandy blond really liked it. Mark keeps going, getting lower and lower every time but it’s not until he’s almost touching Donghyuck’s skin with his nose that he remembers his hands, wrapping his fingers around the base and feeling the heat in his stomach pitch when Donghyuck jolts and rolls his hips forwards a little with a low,

“Fuck.”

Using his free hand to press against Donghyuck’s hip, not wanting the sandy blond to roll his hips too deep too suddenly and choke Mark, Mark uses his hand to stroke upwards and meet his mouth halfway, twisting his wrist in a way that makes Donghyuck let out a steady set of, “Ah.” that makes Mark’s toes curl. He’s aware he’s making lots of wet noises and it’s embarrassing, even more so if someone can hear them, but it’s doing odd things to Mark’s stomach and he realizes, slowly, that maybe he likes it.

Another press of Donghyuck’s cock leaves Mark tingling, stomach fluttering. Before he can think what he’s doing he pulls off enough to pant, “fuck my mouth.” Before sinking back down, holding Donghyuck carefully in his mouth, hopeful that he remembers how to do this from so long ago when he had looked it up.

“Shit, you sure?” Donghyuck smooths Mark’s hair back from where it had begun sticking to his forehead in an oddly loving gesture, meeting Mark’s eye. Not really being able to talk Mark just hums, giving a jerk of his head that he hopes Donghyuck realizes is a yes. It’s different from before when Donghyuck let Mark do this, the thought of letting the sandy blond just use this throat however he wanted appealing to Mark a little too much, making his cock throb.

Donghyuck pushes forwards slowly, gauging Mark’s reaction. They get to a point where it’s too much and Mark’s throat constricts, in which Donghyuck pulls away, but Mark quickly curls his fingers further over Donghyuck’s hips so that he couldn’t go too far. This time he’s more prepared, able to take Donghyuck deeper, keeping his mouth open and his throat loose, letting Donghyuck use it as he wants. There’s more drool slipping down his lips, dripping onto the floor, but Mark couldn’t care less when Donghyuck presses deep and he purposely hums, immediately rewarded with a low groan from Donghyuck.

The pace quickens and Mark drops one hand off of Donghyuck’s hip to his own cock, fucking into the ring of his fingers and groaning low in his throat. The air around him felt stifling, and all he could smell was Donghyuck’s pheromones in the air, all he could see was Donghyuck as his face contorted in pleasure, and all he could feel was Donghyuck’s cock going deeper and deeper in his throat and how it was making him absolutely crazy.

“Shit- “suddenly Donghyuck is pulling back, pulling Mark out of his mouth, and leaning back against the wall, chest heaving. Mark’s throat feels far too empty, one of his hands still gently pulling at his own cock to keep himself going, only for Donghyuck to grab him by the upper arms and pull Mark up to kiss him passionately. Mark responds, eagerly kissing back and letting Donghyuck push his tongue into Mark’s, shuddering at the slide of their tongues against each other.

“Had to stop,” Donghyuck gasps against his lips, kissing between words. “You were ‘gonna make me cum.”

Oh, he hadn’t realized that Donghyuck was already that close. It makes Mark feel good, a pleasant warmth blooming in his chest as he kisses Donghyuck back.

“I didn’t realize I was so good.” Mark breathes back, teasing.

“Cocky,” Donghyuck laughs against his lips, “Now come here.”

Donghyuck pulls and Mark stumbles, following the sandy blond blindly. At some point Mark must have gotten turned around, too busy pressing himself as best as he could against Donghyuck while they were moving, cock throbbing when the sandy blond nips at his lip, because suddenly he feels something against the back of his knees; before he can do anything about it though they fall against the surface, and for a terrifying two seconds Mark thinks he’s going to fall against something and hurt himself, before finding himself lying on one of California king beds with a very dark eyed Donghyuck on top of him.

They had landed with one of Donghyuck’s knees between Mark’s legs, the other on the outside of the black haired males’ hip, and both hands on either side of Mark’s head so that he was effectively caging Mark in. Mark had never thought of himself as someone who had wanted to be dominated before but having Donghyuck on top of him like this and looking down at Mark like that was making Mark’s stomach do weird things.

Mark rolls his hips up to meet Donghyuck’s, hands tightening where he’s holding onto the sandy blond’s shirt and the back of his neck. Between them their cocks slip together, free from the confines of clothing, creating friction that makes Mark’s head spin as he desperately pulls Donghyuck as close as he can. Donghyuck responds with his own long groan, leaning down to roughly reattach their lips back together, forcing his tongue into Mark’s mouth but before the black haired male can get into it Donghyuck pulls away again.

“Take your shirt off.” Donghyuck wraps his hands around Mark’s upper arm and forces him up, sitting in Mark’s lap, and grabs onto the hem of his own shirt. Mark had seen Donghyuck’s upper half plenty of times, but there’s something in the way that Donghyuck’s stomach stretches, his golden skin becoming exposed inch by inch, that makes Mark’s mouth go dry and his hands twitch from the urge to reach out and touch.

Donghyuck’s already pulled off his shirt, briefly getting the material stuck around his ears, but Mark’s still too busy staring to reciprocate. Instead he leans in, brushing his lips against the sharp line of Donghyuck’s clavicle and dipping his tongue into the hallow there. Above him Mark hears Donghyuck moan and push his chest into Mark’s touch as the black haired male kisses downwards, over the goosebumps forming on Donghyuck’s skin to latch onto the pebbled pink nipple he finds there.

At his sides, Mark feels Donghyuck grab onto his grey shirt, fingers skittering against Mark’s skin. Mark’s too invested in flicking his tongue over Donghyuck’s nipple to help properly, so instead he just raises his arms up so that Donghyuck can pull his shirt off for him, ignoring the muffled grumbling he hears from the sandy blond. In response Donghyuck roughly yanks his shirt upwards, not giving Mark time to pull away properly so that the shirt can be pulled over his head and consequently getting the shirt stuck on Mark’s nose.

“Ow.” Mark pulls away with his arms still above his head, having learnt this lesson, so that Donghyuck can pull his shirt off completely.

“Don’t complain,” Donghyuck says back as the throws Mark’s shirt away to the side, never looking away from the black haired males face. “That was your fault.”

“Still.” Mark grumbles and rubs at his nose.

Ignoring him, Donghyuck motions to one of the side cabinets with his chin, “Go look in there.”

Mark turns to look at the cabinet in question, wondering what could be in there for Donghyuck to want him to go have a look. Turning on the bed, letting Donghyuck fall off of him, Mark turns and crawls over on his hands and knees, eyebrows furrowed and his mouth pursed, to lean over and open the cabinet; behind him he hears some kind of strangled noise, but he’s too busy focusing on what he sees in the drawer once it’s opened.

Lube – _oh_

Mark’s stomach flutters as he reaches out and grabs the items, swallowing heavily, before closing the drawer and turning back to Donghyuck with the items held in front of him.

Donghyuck obviously notices his quietness, leaning in to take the objects off of Mark as he asks,

“Did you not want too?”

That makes Mark start and he quickly shakes his head, leaning forwards on his hands and knees. “No, I want too!” he says, that fluttering in his stomach coming back, cock twitching in interest. “I guess I was just surprised, why were those even in your drawer?”

Donghyuck smirks at him, rolling his shoulders, “I was meant to be in this room alone. It doesn’t matter, come here.”

Mark ignores the way his heart was threatening to escape up his throat as he crawls closer, reaching out for Donghyuck. Instead of meeting him halfway Donghyuck pushes him so that Mark falls on his back with his head just below the pillos, quickly climbing on top of him to sit on Mark’s upper thighs.

“Did you want to be bottom?” Donghyuck asks and Mark hates, he hates, how the sandy blond is able to be so nonchalant as he wraps his hand around the both of their cocks and strokes, making Mark roll his hips upwards.

Trying to work through the sensation of Donghyuck jerking him off and pay attention to what the sandy blond is actually saying, it takes him far too long to realize what Donghyuck had meant, “I – what?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes at him, rolling his hips forwards so that the next upstroke of his hand on their cocks makes Mark hiss and claw at the bedsheets underneath him.

“Did you want to be bottom?” Donghyuck asks slowly, enunciating each word with a roll of his hips and it’s not fair because it makes it ten times harder for Mark to actually be able to pay attention to his words and give a response.

“I- fuck,” he eventually starts, groaning as Donghyuck uses his thumb to hit that sweet spot just under the head of Mark’s cock; the sandy blond was playing so unfairly, purposely making it hard on Mark. “I didn’t really- I don’t really care I just want you.”

“Gay- “Donghyuck intones, making Mark laugh and reach out to slap his thigh. “Next time though you’re fucking me. Come here.”

Mark doesn’t have time to properly understand the implications of Donghyuck’s words before the sandy blond was leaning down to kiss him again, his hand still between them. Mark arches up into the kiss, pushing himself into Donghyuck, and opens his mouth when Donghyuck nips at his bottom lip. While they’re kissing Donghyuck slides off of him, letting go of their cocks, so that he’s lying down on the bed beside Mark and instead reaches down to pull one of Mark’s legs over his hip. Like this Mark felt incredibly exposed, but he’s more eager to keep having Donghyuck’s hands on him then being self-conscious.

As they kiss Mark hears the lube cap popping open. It sends a thrill throughout his body and he breaks away from the kiss, reaching out with the hand smooshed between them dig his fingertips into Donghyuck’s pec. He’s only been fingered once, and even then it was only just Donghyuck testing it while he ate Mark out, so he doesn’t quite know what to expect. To distract himself Mark pushes his face into Donghyuck’s neck, lightly nipping and soothing over the skin there and hearing Donghyuck’s breathing get heavier.

The first touch of Donghyuck’s slicked fingers makes Mark jump, not expecting the coolness against his skin as Donghyuck gently slides his finger across Mark’s entrance up to his perineum before returning. He tries to keep himself distracted as he leaves hickies against Donghyuck’s neck, biting a little too hard in the process, but as soon as Donghyuck slides even just the tip of his digit in Mark’s entire body erupts in tingles and he rolls back his head, moaning loudly.

At his side Donghyuck laughs low in this throat, “You OK?” he asks.

“Y-yeah,” Mark whimpers, hating how breathy he sounds but he can’t help it, even just the simple press of one of Donghyuck’s fingers were leaving him speechless. “Keep going – fuck.”

Donghyuck complies, slowly pushing the rest of his finger inside and keeping it there for a moment. Mark feels like his chest is about to explode, breathing heavily to try and keep himself under control as Donghyuck slowly pistons his finger, opening Mark up. Mark has no idea why he didn’t try this by himself or get Donghyuck to do it again when they were fooling around; it already felt so good, enough so that Mark could probably cum just from getting a few more of Donghyuck’s fingers inside of him.

“Ready for another finger?” Donghyuck asks quietly. Mark looks up to find the sandy blond already watching him, eyes dark with lust.

“Yeah,” Mark says as he experimentally rolls his hips down on the digit, clenching around it in the process and loving how it made his body shake. “Hurry up.”

The look Donghyuck gives him gives away just how hard this was for Donghyuck to be going slowly too, and Mark can bet on how bad the sandy blond wanted to already be inside of him; Mark could relate, he wanted Donghyuck to hurry up and be inside him too, but he knew that they had to take this kinda slow so that he wouldn’t get hurt. Mark goes back to hiding his face away, pressing it into Donghyuck’s chest.

Donghyuck’s second finger slides against his entrance, feeling pleasantly cool against Mark’s heated skin, pausing before pressing inwards. Mark stiffens a little, biting at his lip to try and keep quiet but he can’t help the low moan that escapes at the feeling of Donghyuck’s second digit sliding in against the first. It hurts a little, Mark’s body tight from never having done this before, but it’s nothing that Mark can’t handle and as the seconds pass the pain quickly starts subsiding only to add to the heat starting to pool low in his stomach.

With two fingers inside of Mark, Donghyuck stills, letting the black haired male get completely used to the feeling. Mark feels as though he’s about to burst, his whole body shaking as he clenches around both the fingers and makes himself whine, his cock throbbing and dripping enough pre-cum against his stomach that a small pool was beginning to form. Wordlessly Donghyuck slowly starts widening the gap between his fingers, taking Mark’s reaction as his cue, and Mark’s entire body erupts in tingles.

“Oh- fuck.” It’s embarrassing how just Donghyuck’s fingers were making him react, but it just felt so good. Mark pants against Donghyuck’s skin, leaving a shiny wet spot, and nips at the area in an attempt to keep himself quiet. Inside of him he can feel every inch Donghyuck takes as he opens and closes his fingers, pressing a little further apart each time. All Mark can do is hold on to whatever he can reach of Donghyuck, that being the sandy blond’s upper arm and his far hip, and desperately try not to cum too soon.

Donghyuck leaves a kiss against his head and he scissors his fingers, closing them back together as he pulls his fingers out and then opens them as he pushes in. Idly Mark wonders if he had had practiced on himself, but he can’t think about that too long as the imagery of Donghyuck fingering himself only makes Mark feel hotter. Subconiously he widens his legs, wanting Donghyuck deeper, and with the next press of Donghyuck’s fingers finds himself having to dig his nails into the sandy blond’s skin because Donghyuck hits something deep inside of him that makes his whole body shake and his entrance clamp down on Donghyuck’s fingers to try and keep him there.

“Whoa,” Donghyuck says, “I guess I found your prostrate.” He teases.

“Shut up and do it again.” Mark growls, trying to work his hips himself to get Donghyuck’s fingers where he needs them so desperately.

Chuckling, Donghyuck murmurs something that sounds like, “Needy.” He still complies though, pushing his fingers into that same area while scissoring and brushing Mark’s prostrate again. It makes Mark twitch with each thrust, feeling his cock throb and ache as he pathetically spurs pre-cum all over his own skin and he can no longer contain the noises that escape his lips with each push inwards; Mark no longer cares if anyone else hears them, too lost in the way Donghyuck’s fingers inside of him were making him feel.

“It sounds like you might want three fingers,” Donghyuck mutters, “then my cock, how does that sound?”

Mark’s mouth feels dry, heart thudding as he nods and manages a, “Fuck. yes.” Truthfully, he doesn’t know how he’s going to manage to stop himself from cumming too soon, all of this input was making his insides turn to mush, but Mark also really doesn’t want to stop.

Donghyuck hastily pushes in another. It’s a lot all at once, the jump from two to three fingers, making Mark hiss and have to dig his nails once more into Donghyuck’s skin at the slight burn, thankful that Donghyuck had used a lot of lube to make the slide easier. Still, he widens his legs, allowing Donghyuck to go deeper in the hope that he would find that spot inside of Mark once again. All at once Donghyuck does, sliding his fingers in at just the right angle that Mark has to quickly reach down and grab at the base of his cock, desperately trying to stop himself as a high moan escapes his lips.

“Fuck, ‘Hyuck,” Mark gasps, “if you keep doing that I’ll-“

“Don’t,” Donghyuck replies, withdrawing his fingers to just the tips and it takes everything for Mark to not let out a noise at the sudden empty feeling. “Not until I’m fucking you.” This dominant side of his is not completely out of the ordinary, Donghyuck had gotten the same way playing games and wrestling before, but it does something odd to Mark’s stomach to see it when they were fucking around in bed together.

“Well you’re making it kinda hard,” Mark fights back, but his actions contradict his words when he rolls down on Donghyuck’s fingers anyway, chasing the feeling of Donghyuck’s fingers against his prostrate; in his hand his cock throbs and Mark grips a little tighter, not enough to hurt himself but enough that it helps.

Donghyuck pistons his fingers a little deeper, purposely only brushing against Mark’s prostrate now and focusing instead on depth. “Would you say it’s, very hard?”

Mark pulls his face away from Donghyuck’s chest to stare at him, well aware that the flush on his cheeks and the sweat shining on his forehead and neck lessens the effect, “Are you really making jokes with your fingers inside me?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck says nonchalantly, fucking into Mark deeper and purposely making the black haired male hiss, “Am I?”

Wanting to shut Donghyuck up, Mark rolls his eyes and leans in to forcefully kiss him, taking control by biting at Donghyuck’s bottom lip until the sandy blond opens his mouth. Donghyuck gets him back by hitting Mark’s prostrate dead on this time, causing Mark to shudder and moan into his mouth, but Mark still keeps himself in check as he slides his tongue against Donghyuck’s and earns himself a noise from Donghyuck too. Idly he strokes at his own cock, able to focus now on the kiss rather than be completely overwhelmed by Donghyuck fingering him and squeezes down on the sandy blond’s finger; there’s no resistance anymore, and Donghyuck certainly isn’t hurting him, in fact instead his body feels loose and warm, and Mark knows to listen to his body and know when it was saying he was ready.

“Come on,” Mark murmurs against Donghyuck’s lips, “I’m ready. You can fuck me now.”

“Fuck yes.” Donghyuck replies. Still, he’s gentle when pulling out his fingers. Mark clenches around nothing now, feeling empty and already wanting something back inside of him. Donghyuck pulls away from his side and Mark watches as he kneels on the duvet, reaching out for the lube he had up near the pillows and Mark can’t help but admire the body before him, noting how red Donghyuck’s cock is and the way the head of his cock was shiny with pre-cum.

Noticing his gaze, Donghyuck plays a little, uncapping the lube and squirting some out before putting it aside. He’s slow to wrap his fingers around his cock and equally as slow to spread it, stroking his member at a leisurely pace and twisting his hand at the head both to spread it that extra mile but also to fuck with Mark.

“You dick,” Mark laughs, “Hurry up.” to incentivize Mark plays with himself too, making a show of rolling his head back and biting his lip, letting his usually soft sounds be a little louder.

Donghyuck’s immediately on him and he pushes Mark onto his back again, knees between Mark’s legs as he knocks away Mark’s hands from himself and leans in for a brief kiss. As he sits up again Donghyuck presses his hands under Mark’s thighs and pushes them upwards, opening Mark up for him. There’s a weird pause as Donghyuck scoots nearer him, neither of them touching, maintaining eye contact and the head of his cock brushes against Mark’s entrance. Mark sucks in air at the feeling, noting how much bigger it felt than Donghyuck’s fingers, shifting on the bed and trying desperately to stop shaking as Donghyuck just barely pushes the head of his cock against Mark’s hole, not quite penetrating and instead stilling himself there.

Mark knows Donghyuck is up to something when he pauses, tilts his head, and curls the corner of his lip before asking,

“You want this?” Asks Donghyuck in a low voice, pulling away and Mark is about to complain when Donghyuck lifts his cock and then slaps it against Mark’s hole, earning himself a small yelp from the black haired man.

He hates to admit it, but the feeling makes Mark’s stomach curl, makes his cheeks turn pink. Donghyuck notices, of course he does, his smirk turning into more of a cheeky grin as he does it again, examining Mark’s face for his reaction. Mark refuses to give anything away, but every smack feels as though it’s reverberating throughout his body, making him heat up from the inside. Still trying, possibly wanting to see Mark sweat, Donghyuck uses a little more pressure, making the ‘smack’ echo around the room.

“F- fuck,” Mark finally gasps, hating how hard his chest was heaving. “Shit- Donghyuck, just- “

“Put it in?” Donghyuck finishes for him.

Mark gives him his best disgusted look, but it’s ruined by the way he sniggers a little. “Yes, put it in,” he says, “Way to sound like a porno.”

“You started it.”

“Shut up,” Mark tells him, “fuck me already.”

Donghyuck grins, smacking Mark’s twitching entrance with his cock once more, just enough that Mark opens his mouth to tell the younger male to hurry up or otherwise he was the one who was going to be fucking Donghyuck, when the younger finally stops and presses his cockhead against him.

“Ready?” He asks, an odd sincerity in Donghyuck’s gaze as he looks at Mark again. It makes Mark feel all warm inside, makes him press back against Donghyuck to try and get the sandy blond inside him sooner.

Nodding, Mark murmurs, “Yeah, ready.”

Slowly, Donghyuck starts pushing his hips forwards, his cock entering Mark’s body. It’s an odd feeling, but not so different from fingers, just thicker. The further Donghyuck pushes the more Mark inhales, body shaking as he reaches out to grip onto Donghyuck’s forearm; and once Donghyuck is fully inside him, hips flush against his body, the black haired male finds himself holding onto that breath until he realizes what he’s doing and lets it all out in one shaky breath. It didn’t hurt, doesn’t hurt, more like slightly uncomfortable, but that’s quickly being replaced with little zaps of pleasure now that Donghyuck was inside of him. 

What’s even weirder is that he can feel Donghyuck pulsing against his walls, cock twitching and reacting to the tight heat surrounding it and in turn Mark’s body quivers, hips shifting mindlessly to find some kind of friction. Mark was glad they had taken the time to get him stretched out properly, because he was already getting used to the feeling and wanting Donghyuck to hurry up and move – to fuck him.

Mark urges his ups downwards, pressing Donghyuck’s cock further into him. In response the sandy blond’s grip on his left knee tightens and he presses his lips together, clearly struggling.

“Fuck, Mark,” Donghyuck sighs, “you feel so good around my cock.”

That’s not fair, Donghyuck using dirty talk in that low tone of his, teeth clenched together. Mark had never thought he was particularly one for dirty talk but hearing from Donghyuck in that tone makes his insides pulse, makes him want the sandy blond even more.

“Move,” Mark demands, pulling his hips up and pressing them down again, fucking himself on Donghyuck’s cock while the sandy blond still doesn’t move, “Donghyuck, fuckin’ move.”

Donghyuck listens, finally, pulling his hips back. Mark clenches around the sandy blond’s cockhead, already feeling empty without all of Donghyuck inside of him and arches his back as Donghyuck pushes back into him, filling him so deeply and so perfectly that Mark can’t help but let out a moan. Already so close to cumming, Mark has to pause for a second, desperately holding himself back; Donghyuck, however, doesn’t get the picture and thrusts forwards again, lighting Mark’s body up from the inside out, making him have to grip harder onto Donghyuck’s forearm.

“I’m gonna-“ Mark tries through his groans, tilting his head back and arching his body at another searing press from the sandy blond, the pressure building in his abdomen, “if you keep doing that, I’m ‘gonna cum real fast.”

Donghyuck, surprisingly, chuckles low in this throat and with that same drawl he had uses earlier, the one that makes Mark’s insides clench, says, “Do it then, it won’t stop me from fucking you.” Which was just such an infuriatingly Donghyuck thing to say that Mark rolls his eyes. At least he knew now though that it wouldn’t stop anything, which was what Mark wanted anyways, he wanted Donghyuck to keep fucking him for as long as they could, already addicted to the pleasure it was bringing.

Not having to worry, Mark lets it go. He slowly starts to work his hips back to meet Donghyuck’s thrust, a soft sound emitting from between them when their skin meets accompanied by the slick sound of the lube. Everything was so hot, sending Mark’s body into tingles, the feeling, the closeness, Donghyuck’s sunshine surrounding him and filling his senses and Mark lets himself relax into it, squeezing Donghyuck’s forearm to encourage him to move faster, to press harder, to come a little closer into his space and Donghyuck – who had always been good at telling what Mark wanted without the black haired male having to verbalize – does just that.

Soon, Mark finds his mouth occupied by Donghyuck’s lips, the younger male nipping open Mark’s lips and sliding their tongues together in a searing kiss. It’s enough to distract Mark a little from what was going on down further, slinging his arms around Donghyuck’s nape to pull the brunet closer and moan into his mouth when Donghyuck snaps his hips forwards, sliding just sly of where Mark was almost too sensitive.; suddenly it’s all he can think about again as it only makes his stomach tighten further, the pressure building, and he knows it wouldn’t take much more for him to be pushed over that edge.

“There,” Mark gasps, rolling his hips, his body positively singing. “fuck, ‘hyuck, right there, please.”

Donghyuck exhales against his lips, no longer kissing, just the two with their mouths over each other. “Needy,” he reiterates, like he had much earlier but before Mark can complain back he adds, “I like it though. I like you like this, so desperate for me.”

Mark wonders briefly if Donghyuck could make him cum from just talking. A second later though he couldn’t care less, because Donghyuck pulls his hips back, adjusts the angle, and pushes back in, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves inside of Mark dead on and Mark’s toes curl as he arches into Donghyuck’s chest, desperately clawing at his nape as everything inside of him tenses and he’s pushed over the edge, pathetically spurting onto his stomach with a cry of,

“Oh f- fuck! Donghyuck – don’t stop.” He arches, seeing stars, and works his hips through his orgasm to keep meeting Donghyuck’s thrusts, well aware that he’s probably breaking skin at the back of Donghyuck’s neck with how hard he’s holding on.

Chuckling against Mark’s lips, Donghyuck listens, thrusting back into that same spot and Mark opens his eyes (when had he shut them) to see amusement shining in Donghyuck’s eyes when his body shakes. It was almost too much, having just cum, but not enough that Mark wanted to stop, it felt too good for that.

Suddenly his arms are empty as Donghyuck sits back up, cock stilling inside of Mark.

“Here.” Donghyuck says as he wraps his hands underneath Mark’s thighs, pushing Mark’s legs up so that he bends them and spreading them wider. Like this Mark felt incredibly exposed, especially when he sees Donghyuck look down to watch as his cock disappear inside of Mark, yet he liked it. Donghyuck looks up again, making eye contact, as he pulls out, pauses, and thrusts inwards to hit Mark’s prostate dead on once more. It makes Mark let out a loud cry, one that makes him slap his own palm against his lips – he’s oversensitive, cock somehow still fucking hard against his hip, but god it felt so good.

Immediately Donghyuck reaches out and grabs his wrist, forcing Mark’s hand away from himself, and with a questioning look from Mark he rolls his shoulders and says,

“I wanna hear you.”

Returning his hand to Mark’s thigh, Donghyuck gives the black haired male a look of warning, and starts fucking him again; this time Mark is mindful of his hands, keeping them away from his mouth and instead reaching out to grip at the duvet beneath him, twisting the material between his fingers to keep himself centred. Each thrust against his prostate makes Mark whine, gaining pitch each time till Mark is sure that the rooms on either side of them could hear him. He doesn’t dare to try and muffle himself again, knowing that Donghyuck would simply force him to remove his hand again; or worse, stop fucking him.

Against his stomach Mark’s cock throbs, showing interest in what was happening. Mark briefly wonders how many times he could possibly go as he reaches down and wrap his fingers around himself, working past the oversensitivity to stroke himself slowly when Donghyuck doesn’t slap his hand away; instead, Donghyuck’s eyes darken as he watches Mark touch himself, his sharp teeth showing for a split second as the younger male bites at his bottom lip.

Donghyuck bears more weight against Mark’s thighs, forcing them open even further as he snaps his hips forwards. Thank god for all those times Mark worked hard to open his hips before dancing, because now he could have his legs open like this for Donghyuck without it even hurting, letting Donghyuck thrust into him deeper and deeper till Mark felt so perfectly full. Moaning, Mark tugs at his cock harder, pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock to fleck off with every thrust of Donghyuck’s hips and mix with the cum still painting his own stomach.

Frustratingly, Donghyuck’s thrusts slow. Mark looks at the younger male, a teasing remark already on his lips, when he catches the look in Donghyuck’s eye.

“I wanna’ switch positions,” Smirks Donghyuck, reaching so that he can push his arms underneath Mark’s armpits. “Ride me?”

For a split second, Mark is unsure, but then he thinks about what it would be like to sit on Donghyuck’s lap like that, riding his cock, getting the younger to fuck him even deeper, and agrees. It’s a little difficult with them still being attached, Donghyuck obviously not wanting to pull out of Mark for a second, but the two boys quickly realize it’d be better if they did. Mark barely suppresses a moan when Donghyuck pulls of out him, feeling far too empty immediately, and barely waits for Donghyuck to sit back on his ass before Mark was climbing on him again.

Mark kneels just above Donghyuck, his hands on the sandy blond’s shoulders, and reaches down between them to grip onto Donghyuck’s member and guide the sandy blond to where his slick entrance was waiting, Donghyuck taking the lead and raising his hips so that the head of his cock slips inside again. Mark is quick to sink down on Donghyuck, grip tightening on the sandy blond’s shoulders the entire way, eyes screwed together, until finally Donghyuck was completely inside of him again.

It takes a little longer for them to get the rhythm going again, it mostly being Mark just swiveling his hips at the start to see how it felt being in this position. His body shakes when he finally lifts up a little, legs straining, before sinking back down. Donghyuck uses his hips to meet Mark halfway and it’s not long before Mark is desperately clinging onto Donghyuck’s shoulders as the sandy blond grips onto Mark’s hips and pistons into him. Mark was right, being in this position allowed Donghyuck to get deeper inside than ever, but the sandy blond was _just_ missing where Mark wanted him to hit.

“A little-“ Mark pants, moving his hips sideways a bit so that Donghyuck would slide in at a different angle, “to the – OH!”

His body erupts, legs shaking and hands scrambling to grip onto Donghyuck’s biceps, nails digging in so hard that there’ll definitely be marks there tomorrow. To keep his noises quieter Mark dips and pushes his mouth against Donghyuck’s shoulder, teeth grazing his trapezoid, trying to stop himself from biting down but when Donghyuck tightens his grip on Mark’s hips and fucks into that spot harder, Mark can’t resist. His cock, was achingly hard again against his stomach, making a mess of the mixture of cum and pre-cum on Mark’s stomach; there was no way he, no, there was no way the both of them would last much longer, not in this position.

“Fuck, Mark, you’re squeezing my cock so tight,” Donghyuck positively growls, “You feel so good baby boy.”

“Shit-“ Curses Mark, feeling the heat spread in his stomach at Donghyuck’s low tone, desperately trying to keep his head clear through all the stimuli. “”Hyuck that’s not, _fuck_!”

Donghyuck grunts in his air, hips losing rhythm as he fucks into Mark but still keeping up with those deep dead-on thrusts that are making Mark slowly loose his mind, “Shit, I’m gonna cum soon, you’re too much.”

Mark lets out a laugh that quickly changes into a moan with Donghyuck hitting his prostate again and again, going far too fast for Mark to be able to keep up or do much more than cling on for dear life and try and meet Donghyuck’s thrusts while his body is shaking. It wouldn’t be long for him either, that pressure quickly tightening in his stomach, the heat starting to withdraw from the end of his limbs and accumulate in abdomen – who cares if it was embarrassing, Mark was getting dicked down better than he had ever thought he would for his first time.

“Me too,” Pants Mark, “If you keep fucking me like this, that is.”

Seeming to take that as a challenge, Donghyuck picks up the pace, relentlessly fucking into Mark until the black haired male’s head starts to spin. Mark pulls away from where he was biting onto Donghyuck’s shoulders, still gripping on as tight as he can to the sandy blond’s biceps so that he doesn’t fall.

“Kiss me,” Mark groans, “Fuck, Donghyuck- I.”

Donghyuck helps him, leaning up and locking their lips together, kissing Mark sloppily yet passionately. It’s wet, with spit dripping over Mark’s bottom lip as he desperately tries to keep up with Donghyuck, barely remembering to breathe. The coils in his stomach were mere seconds away from snapping, his ears beginning to roar, the wildfire in his stomach threatening to burst and burn him from the inside out till all Mark can do is try and keep up with Donghyuck’s thrusts and hold on.

“I’m – shit, Mark, please tell me- “the sandy blond pants against his lips. Mark can taste salt from how hard Donghyuck was overexerting himself, although Mark was sure he probably tasted the same.

“Yeah – I’m!” Donghyuck snaps his hips in once more, twice, and Mark feels himself race to the very edge of the proverbial cliff, everything inside him tensing, and with a third thrust he was gone –

“Donghyuck!”

The coil in his stomach snaps, Mark’s ears roaring as the wildfire is released and he tips his head back, nicking Donghyuck’s lips on the way, as a loud yell left his hips. He’s reached nirvana, stars exploding from behind his eyes, leaving all his bodily senses behind him and it’s like Mark’s thousands of miles away, feeling everything and yet nothing at the same time, when he faintly hears Donghyuck yell out as the sandy blond reaches climax too. It’s not until Mark’s body has stopped shaking, his hips shuddering and jerking from overstimulation, that Mark slowly starts drifting back down and his senses come back to him.

Mark first notices that he’s still in Donghyuck’s arm, body covered in quickly cooling sweat, and that he was still gripping onto Donghyuck’s biceps like they were his lifeline. On his stomach is the evidence of his completion, his skin now completely covered in white and when Mark looks a little further he finds it’s reached all the way up to his collarbones too – however most importantly of all, Donghyuck was still inside of him.

“Fuck,” Mark husks, his voice completely gone, “That was a lot.”

Donghyuck, who had wrapped his arms completely around Mark at some point and shoved his head into the crook of Mark’s neck, chuckles softly and slowly begins’ pulling back from him. Mark is quick to find the younger’s gaze once Donghyuck’s pulled far enough back, surprised to see how utterly dark fucked out the sandy blond looks and wonders if he looks the same.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck replies, his voice equally as ruined as Mark’s, “That was fucking amazing.”

Mark laughs, tipping his head to give Donghyuck as kiss. There’s a cut in his lip that stings when Donghyuck passes his tongue over it, but Mark doesn’t care, kissing the sandy blond back and finally releasing his death grip from Donghyuck’s biceps to instead wrap his arms around the sandy blond’s shoulders. They sit there for a good minute, just gently kissing and enjoying each other, too tired to get vamped up again.

It’s not until Mark’s body has cooled significantly and it was starting to get a little uncomfortable to have Donghyuck still in him, his insides so sensitive that every time either he or Donghyuck shifted even the slightest bit it would lean to the side of painful, Mark pulls back.

“As much as I love this,” He starts, “I think I need you out of me.”

Donghyuck grins at him, tongue poking briefly between his teeth, “You couldn’t get enough of my cock earlier and now you want it out of you? Didn’t think I’d see that happen.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Mark replies, already puling back and trying to get any resemblance of strength back in his knees so that he can push up and off of Donghyuck, “I wasn’t like that.”

“You were,” Donghyuck teases, but still he aids Mark as best as he can, trying to push his bottom half more against the bed so that he’ll slip out, reaching down between them to grip at himself. “I’m sure three rooms across could hear you begging for my cock.”

“Dude,” Laughs Mark, slapping Donghyuck, “Shut the fuck up and help me.”

With combined effort, Mark is eventually able to gently pull off of Donghyuck, a low hiss escaping between his teeth when Donghyuck’s cockhead finally slipped out. Exhausted, the two collapse on the bed and lay there, close enough that their arms were touching and there’s a moment of silence before Donghyuck gently grabs Mark’s hand and twines their fingers together.

It’s so silent for so long that Mark thinks Donghyuck has fallen asleep, not sure himself if he should do the same or try and get up for a shower or at least grab a flannel to clean up the mess on his stomach and inside of him, when Donghyuck finally speaks up again.

“Yes.”

Mark turns his head towards the sandy blond, finding Donghyuck already looking at him.

“Sorry?” he asks, clearly confused. Mark couldn’t remember asking a question before all this happened, nor after they stopped, hell he couldn’t even completely get his thoughts straight just yet.

Donghyuck is quiet for a second, long enough that Mark doesn’t think he’s going to get an answer, when finally, Donghyuck says, “Yes, I like you too.”

Which, for some reason, makes Mark start. He supposes it really shouldn’t be a shock considering what they just did, even more so after Mark confessed and Donghyuck didn’t push him away, yet his head was still a little muddled and it took a hot minute for Mark to even remember the conversation they had had before having sex and now after all that Donghyuck was suddenly confessing too.

“Huh?” Is Mark’s intellectual response, making Donghyuck laugh and shift a little closer.

“That’s why I was so frustrated and angry at you too,” Donghyuck explains in a low voice, “I could see that you were struggling with something, and I had an idea, but I didn’t want to just confess to you and it turn out that you were actually just not interested in even being friends; which is stupid, and I should have just grown some balls and told you, it was so hard keeping it in every day.”

That was a lot to process. “Huh,” Mark eventually says, “So, really, we both liked each other but we were too caught up in stupid teenage angst to confess.”

Mark’s wording makes Donghyuck laugh so hard his cheeks bunched and his eyes crinkled together, “Pretty much,” manages the sandy blond through his laughs, “Come here.” Donghyuck pulls at him, getting Mark to shift so close that the whole left side of their bodies were pressed together, before pushing himself up on one elbow so that he was raised above Mark.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me, but,” murmurs Donghyuck, “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Partially because Donghyuck had told him not to laugh, makes Mark want too, but he keeps it back. “That’s pretty gay,” he intones instead, “but yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

“Not if we say no homo- “ Donghyuck laughs, “but good though, otherwise I would have kicked your- “

Mark doesn’t let him get any further, pushing himself up to kiss Donghyuck, laughing into the kiss. Donghyuck laughs too, kissing him back, and together the two fall back against the bed, sharing kisses and laughing at each other.

“I really need a shower, though.” Mark says later, once they had stopped kissing and decided to get ready for bed, wrinkling his nose, “I’ve got cum in and all over me.”

That makes Donghyuck look up from where he had been bent over his suitcase, one eyebrow cocked as he looks over Mark’s body. When he finally meets Mark’s eyes, the black haired male already knows what kind of response he’s going to get.

“Yeah you do,” Donghyuck waggles his eyebrows, “Wanna shower together.”

“As long as you stay approximately ten feet away from me, pervert,” retaliates Mark, ignoring the pout that Donghyuck puts on, “Then sure. All we’re doing is showering, though, I don’t think I have any more in me.”

“I mean – I can put _more_ in you if you want.”

It takes a second for Donghyuck’s words to register before Mark lets out a splutter, reaching out to slap Donghyuck on the shoulder and laugh at the sandy blond’s fake wounded yell.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Mark says as he backs off, heading towards the bathroom, leaving Donghyuck standing there beside the sandy blond’s suitcase, and pauses by the door to look back at the younger male, “Now hurry up, before I change my mind.”

Later on, Mark would tease Donghyuck for how quickly he dropped the clothes in his hands back into his suitcase and hurries over to catch Mark who had disappeared into the bathroom already laughing.

-

The next morning, Mark feels oddly shy. Which was stupid because he and Donghyuk had been friends long before deciding to fool around together, and even then they came out the other end having _finally_ confessed to each other and had the most mind- blowing sex Mark had ever had.

When he wakes, it’s because of pressure to on his chest. Mark blinks, eyes slowly focusing on the ceiling above him, and reaches down to try and push whatever it was that was making it hard to breathe off of him. It’s then when his hand knocks against something soft, warm, something that squirms a little and makes a little happy noise. Trying his best, Mark looking downwards as far as he can and finds sandy blond hair blocking his vision, some of the strands getting into his nose.

“Donghyuck,” Mark grumbles, prodding at the younger males’ side. He hadn’t slept in a shirt last night, but Donghyuck had, meaning the sandy blond had a little protection – not a lot, though, Mark was always good at finding those points that made Donghyuck squirm. “Why are you on me? Get off.”

“No,” Donghyuck replies, sounding far more awake then Mark was willing to be at this moment. Mark would gladly bet that Donghyuck had woken up before and decided to annoy him, hence why Mark now found himself pinned underneath the younger male. “You’re comfortable.”

Mark groans, still prodding at Donghyuck’s side. It’s all a ruse, he doesn’t really care Donghyuck is lying on him, he likes the warmth and comfort it brings, but if Donghyuck ever found out Mark wouldn’t be able to lie down in peace ever again, “I’m not your pillow,” he groans, “Didn’t you get your fix of me yesterday?”

“Yeah, but we were fucking then,” Donghyuck says with absolutely no hint of being shamed, meanwhile Mark spluttered a little and feels his cheeks turn pink, “This is different.”

Silently, Mark stops his prodding. He knows that once they got up and got ready for the day they had to be careful out there, if one of their fans saw them holding hands and being couple-y they would be in major trouble; hell, Mark doesn’t even know how they were going to tell their bandmates.

That’s a good point, were they going to tell the others?

“Hey,” Mark murmurs, “are we gonna’ tell everyone?”

Donghyuck’s quiet, long enough that Mark’s worried the younger has fallen asleep and now Mark was going to be trapped under him until Donghyuck woke up again. Eventually, Donghyuck moves, slowly sitting up and out of Mark’s space until he’s squatted over Mark’s hips.

“Not gonna’ lie,” Donghyuck meets his eye, the corner of his lips quirking upwards when he sees how Mark’s eyes widen at him, “I think the others’ might already have their hunches. Let’s leave it for now, keep it a secret till we get back to Korea, besides-“

“Donghyu-“

“- besides,” Donghyuck repeats, much louder so that he can drown Mark out, “I, and you better not repeat this to anyone Mark Lee I swear to god or I’ll break your legs, want to hang out as boyfriends before we’re around everyone again.”

Mark blinks, carefully trying to school his facial expressions but even he can’t help the boxy smile that breaks out on his face before he’s ducking his head into Donghyuck’s chest.

“Cute,” he coos, “You’re so fucking cute.”

Donghyuck grumbles a, “Shut up,” and pushes Mark back. Mark flails, reaching out to try and stabilize himself and his fist finds Donghyuck’s shirt, forcefully pulling the sandy blond down against him and knocking Donghyuck’s forehead against his chin.

“Ow!” Yells Donghyuck, “Oh, it’s on now, Mark Lee.” Before Mark could defend himself Donghyuck was on him, pushing his hands up Mark sides and digging his fingertips into Mark’s armpits, tickling him and it was the worst because everyone knew Mark was ticklish so he immediately yells too, trying his best to squirm his way out of Donghyuck’s grip. It ends with the two boys out of breath, Donghyuck lying down once again against Mark’s chest, the black haired male’s arms around him.

Eventually they get up and ready for a day of exploring, consisting of Mark trying to get dressed peacefully and Donghyuck taking every opportunity he can he either be touching Mark or trying to kiss him. It’s a welcome change, something that Mark feels as though should have been happening well before now. By the time they’re both dressed and Donghyuck can manage to keep his hands off of Mark for more than ten minutes, they work their way downstairs to find the others.

“My ass hurts,” Mark complains just seconds before the elevator doors slide open to the lobby of the hotel, suddenly noticing the slight twinge in his lower back. “How hard did you go last night.”

Donghyuck has the audacity to quirk an eyebrow at him and smirk a little, leaning in to whisper, “As hard as you asked for, Mark.”

Mark’s spluttering reply was interrupted by Jungwoo calling out their names and running over to link an arm over both of their shoulders, babbling excitedly about all the exploring that had been planned together by the other group members and their managers as the trio walk over to where everyone has gathered. At the last second, before they’re mere steps away from joining the larger group, Mark reaches across Jungwoo’s back and grabs Donghyuck’s hand before squeezing, the younger quickly returning the gesture, before letting go.

-

The day consisted of lots of sightseeing. The whole group spent a good couple of hours on one of those red tour busses that drove you through the city, cameras in hand to snap thousands of pictures of the scenery and group photos. Mark had kept close to Donghyuck on the bus and as they had stepped off to wander through Beijing before arriving at the zoo, careful not to do too much outside of their norm. Fortunately holding hands had never being odd for them to do before getting together, and so when Mark linked his hands with Donghyuck after everyone had gotten their tickets and walked through the gates no one gave them any odd looks; sure, Mark could feel the other members looking now and again, probably wondering why suddenly Mark and Donghyuck weren’t fighting or refusing to be anywhere near each other, but as soon as they realized it didn’t mean any more fighting between the two everyone left them alone.

Mark caught Youngho staring the most, and when he caught the older male’s eye Youngho gave him this knowing smile that made Mark’s face heat up. Still, he didn’t let go of Donghyuck’s hand, and after a quick smile back and the wordless promise that he would talk to Youngho later, the older male left them alone.

By the time everyone had finished with the zoo, it was starting to get dark. Mark was tired, feet sore after hours of walking and the back of his neck felt burnt, but as he wandered through the streets with everyone to get to the night markets, Donghyuck’s hand still in his, Mark found he didn’t really care.

The night markets were a mess. Somehow, Mark blames Yuta and the lack of supervision from Doyoung or Taeyong, he ends up a little tipsy off of market liquor. This only gets worse as they find a restaurant to eat at for the night and Mark orders a drink, hanging practically off of Donhyuck as they all eat and talk; Donghyuck does the same though, sitting as close as he possibly could to Mark at the large table. It was a little distracting having Donghyuck so close, but Mark has fun with everyone, laughing at everyones stories and all the silly commentary; at one point, Mark looks to find Donghyuck in a full conversation with Taeil, eyes bright as he contributes, and finds himself thinking how happy he was to be here with everyone, how happy he was to be here with Donghyuck.

They end up back in their hotel room well past midnight, the two boys hanging off of each other with a mixture of slightly too many drinks in their stomach and exhaustion in their bones. Mark barely managed to toe his shoes off his feet and unbuckle his belt, fumbling as he shoves them off and then steps out of them. The bed is his next destination, but he has to help Donghyuck first who was having trouble with his jeans.

“Come ‘ere,” Mark mumbles as he gets down on his knees, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Donghyuck’s jeans to try and pull them down.

“If you wanted to blow me,” Donghyuck sniggers from above him and places a hand in Mark’s hair, pushing it back from Mark’s forehead when the older male looks upwards. “You could’ve just asked.”

It’s enough to make Mark chuckle lightly, shaking his head to loosen Donghyuck’s grip and trying ignore the warmth in his stomach at the idea, “Tomorrow night after the show, OK? I’ll blow you as much as you want them but for now,” he pauses to shove Donghyuck’s jeans down the tanned male’s thighs, feeling Donghyuck’s hands now clench onto his shoulders so that he doesn’t fall, “we need to sleep.” The final step is waiting for Donghyuck to step out of his jeans, which Mark ends up wrapping his fingers around Donghyuck’s ankles and helping the sandy blond male.

Finally, he’s done. Mark stands, kicks Donghyuck’s jeans away out of the way.

“You’re like my mum.” Donghyuck says but drops the conversation in favor for following Mark down onto the bed.

Mark pushes down the covers, climbing in and lying down immediately, too tired to pull the covers back up over himself. To his left he hears Donghyuck laugh, the younger also now in the bed, and then the feeling of the duvet being pulled back up over him until Mark is completely covered up to his shoulder.

“Now who’s like their mother?” Mark teases.

“Shut up.” Donghyuck moves towards him, hooking a leg over Mark’s hip and sliding so close that there was barely an inch of space between them.

Mark allows it, long past minding Donghyuck’s apparent need for physical touch at all times. Eventually they end up with Donghyuck’s head pressed up against his collarbone, warm breath gentle puffing over the exposed line of his skin before Mark wraps his arm over Donghyuck’s body.

“Goodnight.” Donghyuck murmurs, so quiet that Mark barely hears him.

“Night.” Mark replies, relaxing in the warmth and closing his eyes, brushing his thumb over Donghyuck’s back. He had gone too long without having Donghyuck cuddled up too him in bed before they had started fighting, but now that the warmth was back Mark never wanted to let it go again.

-

Mark gets a second of peace in the morning before all hell breaks loose. He wakes to sunlight streaming through the small gap in the curtain that had been left unchecked last night, the sounds of the city waking up around him. Donghyuck’s hot breath washes across his skin, chilling the area he had left a wet patch. Mark get a second of lying there listening to Donghyuck’s breathing, relishing the warmth of Donghyuck’s body against him and the duvet around him, when there’s a rapid knock on the door.

“Mark! Donghyuck! You awake? I’m coming in!”

The voice is familiar, but Mark can’t help the little chill in his stomach at being caught wrapped around Donghyuck like this before he remembers that everyone is used to seeing them like this. As the door is unlocked and pushed open hard enough to hit the wall, Mark groans and tries to curl further into the warmth, still blinking sleep from his eyes as Youngho strides into the room and looks around the room trying to find him before falling on the lump of their shared bodies in the bed.

“Well,” the corner of Youngho’s mouth turns upwards and Mark groans again, trying to hide his face in the covers. Against him Donghyuck makes a sound at being disturbed, leg tightening around where they’re twined around Mark’s. “As nice as this looks, you need to get up. We’re heading out in twenty to the show venue.”

Mark groans, “Fuck,” voice ladled with sleep, “I don’t want too.”

“Neither.” Comes Donghyuck’s voice from somewhere under the cover.

Youngho gives them a sympathizing look but continues, “I know, but you have too. Get up now or a manager will come in next, and I doubt you want that.”

That’s true, their managers were relentless with waking them up and Mark didn’t particularly want one a manager finding him and Donghyuck like this and have to explain it.

“Fine.” Mark sighs, finally pushing back the covers a little so he can meet Youngho’s eye. “We’ll get up.”

“Good,” Youngho smiles at him, pushing back his hair, “I’ll see you out there.” It looks like there’s more he wants to say but realizes now wasn’t the time.

Mark waits until he hears the door close once Youngho has turned and padded out, then turning his head until he finds Donghyuck’s forehead.

“I know you’re awake,” he says against the Donghyuck’s hair, under the blanket he digs his fingertips into Donghyuck’s sides until the sandy blond groans and wiggles in an attempt to get away. “We gotta’ get up, come on.”

Donghyuck whines, “I don’t want too.” his voice muffled by the duvet.

“Neither do I,” Mark says, wondering faintly when he had become the responsible one in this relationship. “We have too, come on dude, get up.” he continues working his fingers into Donghyuck’s sides to make the younger squirm, but what he didn’t expect was for Donghyuck to suddenly tip his head back so that they were face to face before kissing him.

It’s soft, warm. Mark relaxes into the kiss, forgetting what he had been trying to do as he kisses back. At Donghyuck’s sides his fingers relax and instead grip into Donghyuck’s shirt, pulling the sandy blond minutely closer. It’s not the kind of kiss that would get one riled up, instead one that’s easy to relax into and just enjoy it.

“If you’re trying to distract me,” Mark eventually says against Donghyuck’s lips, “It’s working.”

“Good,” Donghyuck uses his leg to pull Mark’s hips closer and suddenly the kiss feels a little more heated, their bodies warming up to each other. “That’s what I wanted.”

Mark rolls his eyes and pulls back, reaching out to grab the covers and throw it off him. Donghyuck makes a whining noise and tries to get some purchase on him, leading to Mark sitting on the edge of the bed with Donghyuck holding on his shirt trying to pull him back; resulting in Mark’s shirt stretching and the neck line nearly cutting off his air flow.

“I’ll get Doyoung- hyung in here,” Mark chokes out, “Do you really want that?”

At the mention of Doyoung, Donghyuck lets go. The threat was real when it came to Doyoung, both Mark and Donghyuck having been on the receiving end of his brutal wake up routine before. Behind him Mark hears Donghyuck scramble to throw the covers off and get out of bed, making Mark laugh as he finally manages to place his feet against the carpeted floor and stand up.

“You’re so mean,” Donghyuck says when Mark turns to find the sandy blond standing by the bed, one hand under his shirt to scratch at his stomach and the other against his mouth to stifle a yawn. For a second Mark is distracted by the flash of Donghyuck’s tanned stomach, but then he remembers their time limit and pushed it to the back of his head. “It’s too early for this shit.”

Mark makes some non-commental sound and moves to start getting ready, patting Donghyuck on the way to the bathroom so that he could shower. Slowly Mark wakes up once he’s stripped and gotten under the warm spray of the shower, washing as quickly as he can under their time limit, and by the time he comes out of the shower Donghyuck is playing some music on their speaker. It’s not the last night in this hotel so they don’t have to bother with packing up completely, what was more important was putting on comfortable clothes for the rehearsal; meaning Mark could get away with some sweat pants and black tee-shirt, a cap and a plaid overshirt.

By the time their managers came in to see if they were ready, Mark and Donghyuck were done. They shoulder their bags filled with everything they need and follow the manager to meet everyone downstairs, idly scrolling on their phones in one hand and holding each-others free hand. If anyone notices and cares that they’re holding hands no one says anything, although Mark does notice Taeyong watching them, but as soon as everyone was gathered they’re hurried outside and into the cars waiting for them.

The rest of the late morning and into the afternoon, they’re practicing for the show. It’s not a huge award ceremony or anything, just a whole bunch of different groups getting together and performing, so most of their time was spent waiting for the other groups to finish their rehearsal before NCT even get to do theirs, third from the last group. By the time they come off stage the show was only a few hours from starting as have to start getting ready, meaning Mark is oh so unceremoniously shoved into the makeup chair as soon as he enters the dressing room.

It’s a long process to get ready for a show, and Mark was kind of still tired from being woken up. He’s mere seconds from falling asleep when Mark meets Donghyuck’s gaze from across the dressing room and finds himself wide awake again. Making sure Mark was watching, Donghyuck nods his head towards the door and then mouths,

‘ _bathrooms.’_

Mark nods as best as he can with a makeup brush so close to his eyes, apologizing when the make-up artist tuts at him and shoots Mark a look in the mirror. In the background Mark tracks Donghyuck as the sandy blond leaves the room, not missing how Donghyuck turns his head once he’s out the door, meets Mark’s eye, and winks at him before disappearing down the hallway. The last five minutes in the makeup chair is agonizing, all Mark can think about is how much he wants to be in the bathroom right now with Donghyuck, bouncing his leg and twisting his fingers together until the makeup artist shoots him a look again. He stops as best as he can, but even after being reprimanded Mark can’t help continuing to twist and crack his knuckles.

The second the makeup artist says he can go and is calling for the next member, Mark is up and out of his seat. He tries his best to not make it look suspicious as he leaves, hurrying out the doorway and down the hallway at breakneck speed, bobbing and weaving around the other idols and stagehands until they thin out nearer the back of the building and finds himself outside the bathroom. With a quick look around, one that finds the hallway now empty, Mark pushes open the door to the bathroom.

Immediately he finds Donghyuck’s mouth on his and his body being slammed back against the wall, hard enough that it could bruise. Briefly Mark thinks of telling him not to ruin the makeup, knowing he was going to get told off, but that goes out the window when Donghyuck bites at his bottom lip and when Mark opens his mouth in a gasp Donghyuck quickly takes advantage and pushes his tongue inside.

“Want you,” Donghyuck groans, “Fuck, Mark.”

Donghyuck’s hands are on him, pushing up against Mark’s stomach and over his hips, untucking Mark’s shirt so that he can dig his fingertips into skin. Mark retaliates, grabbing onto Donghyuck’s belt loops, thank god the sandy blond had chosen to wear jeans this morning, and pulls Donghyuck’s hips against his only for the younger male to slide his thigh between Mark’s legs and press upwards.

Mark hates how immediately weak in the knees it makes him. He grinds down on the knee offered, moaning into Donghyuck’s mouth and slides their tongues together.

“Wanna blow you.” Donghyuck gasps against his lips, rolling his hips in time to press against Mark.

The thought is nearly enough for Mark get off right then and there, instead he grunts and pulls Donghyuck closer to him, groaning against his lips, “We don’t have time.” He wants too though, oh god he wants to so bad, wants to feel Donghyuck’s mouth on his cock again but they’re short on time and surely someone will come looking for them soon and –

“I’ll be quick.”

Mark’s words are lost to him as Donghyuck ducks to his knees, hands fumbling on Mark’s belt and then zipper, pulling it open faster than Mark had thought was possible. He gapes, wordlessly, hands finding purchase on Donghyuck’s shoulders, not pushing him away but also not pulling him any closer as Donghyuck reaches into Mark’s boxer briefs and pulls his cock out. It’s not like he was already hard or anything, Mark was barely sporting a chub, but Donghyuck still licks at his own palm before wrapping his fingers around Mark’s cock.

“Oh, oh fuck.” The feeling of Donghyuck’s hand on him makes Mark let go of Donghyuck’s shoulders to grip at the wall behind him, pushing his hips into Donghyuck’s grip, tilting his head back to blink at the ceiling only to realize he didn’t want to look away from what Donghyuck was doing and quickly looks back down.

Mark’s quick to grow hard under Donghyuck’s touch, prompting the sandy blond to make true of his words and lean in to take Mark in his mouth. Because they were on a time limit there’s no time for careful foreplay, instead Donghyuck wraps his mouth around the head of his cock and uses his hand around the base, using his mouth to get Mark the rest of the way. One of Mark’s hands quickly leaves the wall instead to grip at Donghyuck’s hair, pulling at it a little too roughly but it just makes Donghyuck moan around his cock, reverberating and making Mark’s stomach curl.

Rolling his hips, Mark pushes his cock further into Donghyuck’s mouth, releasing pre-cum against the sandy blond’s tongue. He watches as Donghyuck bobs his head, taking Mark further and further into his mouth and Mark’s just about ready to let out a torrent of swears when there’s a knock against the door and it opens a crack.

Mark and Donghyuck freeze for a second, not sure if someone was really coming in, before Donghyuck is pulling off of Mark and Mark is tucking his erection into the waistband of his boxer briefs and doing up his jeans as quickly as it was safely possible to do so. Mark can feel his cheeks turning bright fucking red, his heartbeat thudding in his ears as anxiety claws at his insides; had they been caught? Was it a staff member or one of their members? How would they possible explain this.

“As much fun as it sounds like you’re having,” Taeyong’s voice filters through the door, “We’re on in fifteen. Get back to the waiting room.”

Mark is completely frozen in place as the door slides closed again and the sound of footsteps recedes down the hallway. Both boys are completely silent, turning to look at each other. All Mark can think of is how screwed they were, no one was supposed to know about them. What if Taeyong told the other members? What if it ruins what they had all worked so hard for, or Mark and Donghyuck have to leave the group to stop NCT from falling into scandal. What would their managers think?

“Hey,” Donghyuck’s moved in the moments Mark has been freaking out, now standing in front of him. He reaches for Mark’s hands with one of his own, using the other to tilt Mark’s head upwards and look at him. “It’ll be OK, we don’t have time to freak out about this now. We can talk about this with Taeyong later, see if he’ll keep it quiet. Don’t worry too much, besides –“ he pauses to kiss Mark, just briefly, probably to make him feel better and less anxiety ridden, “we were going to tell them sooner or later anyways.”

That makes Mark laugh, just a brief outburst, “Smartass.” He replies, but kisses Donghyuck back anyways. The younger male was right, there was no point in fretting about this now; not to mention that he knew what Taeyong was like, he knew their leader wouldn’t sell him out so easily, wouldn’t make Mark or Donghyuck leave the group, neither Taeyong nor any of their members were like that.

The two quickly fix their clothing, Mark’s erection now gone so all he has to do was tuck his shirt back in and fix his jacket and hair a little. Donghyuck does much of the same before the two exit the bathroom and head down the hallway, trying to make themselves look less suspicious as they encounter more and more people before they’re outside their dressing room door again; Mark barely gets a squeeze of Donghyuck’s hand before their stylists see them and rush forwards amidst the other chaos in the room to straighten their clothes, fix their makeup and get the two ready for the stage.

Across the room Mark meets Taeyong’s eye, freezing in spot. Instead of the disgusted look he expects, Taeyong gives him a warm smile before he’s distracted by an artist working on him, but still it leaves Mark hopeful.

-

Their stage goes perfect. beforehand Mark’s a bundle of nerves, as he always is before a stage, but as soon as the lights come on and the music starts, the cheers of everyone in the audience meeting his ears, it all melts away and Mark follows his muscle memory. By the time their two song set finishes and their running offstage in the dark, following the stage lights, Mark is back in his body. His chest is heaving, limbs heavy from their choreography and exhaustion, but the rush of endorphins is enough to make him feel high. They all crowd in the dressing room, sweaty and probably gross smelling, to lock arms and congratulate themselves for their performance.

Seeing as they didn’t have to stick around for any awards, they were free to get undressed from their stage clothes, wipe off as much makeup as they can, and get dressed back into their regular clothes. Mark sticks close to Donghyuck the whole time, trying his hardest not to make anything look too obvious as they pack up and leave, hoping that Taeyong wasn’t watching them. A couple of times he sees Youngho and Taeyong having a conversation to themselves, but before Mark can let too much anxiety build in him again Donghyuck finds his hand as they’re all leaving out of the artists entrance and piling back into their cars.

No one comes to find them or talk to them once Mark and Donghyuck are back in their room. The two are too tired to mess around, too tired to do anything more than eat some room- serviced food and pass out in bed together with the television still running; their flight is early the next – no, this morning, and so they were eager to at least get some sleep while they could before heading back to Korea.

-

The flight went by without any hitches, Mark slept the whole way home with Donghyuck in the seat next to them. Taeyong never pulled Mark aside to say anything about what had happened in the bathroom, in fact he just talked to Mark, and Donghyuck, completely normally – asking if they were tired, playing along with them, eating alongside them. Once returning to Korea the groups schedule was completely free for three whole weeks and Mark as well as Donghyuck, who had been through so much the past month from messing around together to fighting and not speaking to each other to finally resolving everything and becoming boyfriends, didn’t do much more than spend time with each other and sleep; usually meaning they just ended up sleeping in the same bed to stay close.

After the first three days being mostly sleeping, they do a lot of talking too. Mark goes over and over in his head, and verbally to Donghyuck, about whether they should just beat Taeyong too it and tell everyone themselves. Donghyuck agrees, despite the risks, that it was better to be truthful to their bandmates then keep lying behind their backs no matter what might happen; they didn’t want to have to keep each other a secret, to have to keep checking or waiting till late at night to finally kiss each other how much they wanted too.

-

It turns out there’s never really a right time to come out to bandmates. Mark finds himself sitting in the lounge, their coffee table overloaded with chicken, snacks, and beer as they all hang out together.

Mark’s a ball of anxiety, his heart beating erratically in his chest and entire body cold with sweat. On the outside he looks normal, leant back on one hand while he sips beer with the other, idly watching the TV and the others’ antics around him. At his side Donghyuck is leant back in the same position, and it’s almost as though he knew exactly how Mark was feeling when he places his hand over Mark’s, their shoulders blocking the view.

There’s a lull in conversation and Mark looks at Donghyuck, silently asking if the younger male was ready too. What he got back was a shaky nod, a nervous smile, a squeeze of Donghyuck’s hand on his and yet somehow it made Mark confident enough to open his mouth and say,

“Uh, guys?

Everyone looks at him, some taking longer than others, but soon Mark has everyone’s attention. It makes him even more nervous having everyone looking at him like this, even though these are the people he had debuted with, the ones he trusted with his wellbeing with. Fuck, how did people even do this? Come out? It was such an archaic process, one that bought his nausea and sweaty palms. Thank god he had Donghyuck beside him.

The words, “Donghyuck and I have wanna’ tell you something.” Sounds odd even in his own ears, makes it sound like they had done something bad rather than just a shitty attempt to tell people that they were together.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun speaks up from Mark’s right, arching an eyebrow at them. “What is it?”

It’s then when Mark notices this odd feeling in the air between them all, or was he just being paranoid? He was sure he caught a smile passed between Taeyong and Doyoung, but the second Mark looks again it’s gone. Maybe he was more nervous than he thought, in fact, Mark kind of felt like he was going to throw up; vaguely, he wonders if Donghyuck feels the same.

“Mark?” Yuta asks, leaning in against the table, a worried expression on his face, “Are you OK?” Mark doesn’t have the words to tell him he’s fine. Then, beside him, Youngho leans back and catches Mark eye, making sure Mark was watching before nodding in encouragement; he knew, Youngho knew, of course he did, but still it sent a little confidence through Mark’s body.

“Fuck, OK, uh,” Mark stalls, trying to make the words come out, but his tongue feels like it weighs a thousand tons at this point, “We’re – kinda –“ god if he could just get it out this would all be so much easier. Mark’s sure he looks like a tomato right now, his cheeks, his neck, his ears feeling so hot that if Mark touched them with his fingers they’d burn off, making a weird combination of cold sweat that stuck to his forehead and armpits; he couldn’t, fuck- he couldn’t – everyone was leaning in, waiting to hear what he had to say – and -

Then Donghyuck squeezes his hand again.

“We’re uh- together now.”

The resulting reaction was not what Mark expected, Taeyong leans in, arms on the table, and asks, “You’re together, as in?”

Mark still, unsure of how he could explain it clearer than that. Somehow he turns redder, feeling it all the way down past the neckline of his tee- shirt. At his side Mark hears Donghyuck sigh, his touch leaving Mark’s hand, before the sandy blond is leaning forwards and saying,

“Mark’s my boyfriend. We’re fucking.”

Whipping his head towards Donghyuck so fast he hears his neck click, Mark hisses, “Donghyuck!” wishing that the floor could open up and swallow him whole.

“What?” Donghyuck looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, but there’s a pull to the corner of his lips that tells Mark the sandy blond is enjoying this, “It’s true!”

Mark looks back at the room, thinking it would be better than staring at Donghyuck’s smug face. It’s worse, now everyone is staring at him, sometimes flicking to Donghyuck. Mark’s mouth opens and closes, mimicking a fish, trying to come up with the words to explain and yet he had absolutely nothing. The silence is deafening, no one saying anything, or waiting for someone else to talk, leaving an odd ringing in Mark’s ears.

“Well,” Taeyong eventually says. It’s comical how everyone’s head snaps to him, obviously thankful that someone else had finally spoken up, but Mark feels as though he could literally get up and kiss Taeyong; he won’t, that’d be weird, but he could. “I’m glad you could tell us-“ he starts, shooting very pointed looks around the room although Mark wasn’t why, as he completely misses the small smirks and smiles passing across their members faces, before looking back at Mark. When Taeyong sees the way Mark’s looking around trying to read everyone else, “- we all accept it.”

As much as hearing that everyone accepts it, that they’re not going to be met with any resistance over this new development, Mark can’t help but feel like there’s something else. He looks away from Taeyong to look at everyone else, noting how Yuta and Jungwoo are suddenly busy touching their faces in a way that hid their faces, and how there’s small smirks spreading across Doyoung’s and Youngho’s faces before they carefully school their faces back into a neutral expression; even Taeil looked like he knew something Mark didn’t.

“You knew,” Donghyuck suddenly spoke up from beside him, voicing what Mark had yet to conclude. Mark looks sideways to find Donghyuck looking between each member, his eyebrows raised and his mouth hanging open, “You all knew about this, about us, how-“

Doyoung sighs, rolling his eyes as he says, “Well to be fair you weren’t exactly being subtle about it, the fights you guys had were so obviously not just the kind friends have” he pauses, shushing Taeyong who had opened his mouth to but in, “Some of us have been through the same kind of stuff, but it wasn’t our business so we didn’t but in.”

“But you knew,” Mark says, and, with a sudden realization; the smirks, the looking between each other, the way some of them wouldn’t look Mark or Donghyuck in the eyes until they had it under control, “Oh my god, you made bets.”

There’s silence. Now, Yuta and Jungwoo looked kind of guilty, as did Youngho and Taeyong. Mark’s not that mad about it, he just couldn’t believe that even his band mates had put two and two together about him and Donghyuck before Mark had figured out what he wanted.

“How much?” Donghyuck asked, “I’m not even mad, there’s just no way I’m letting you keep that money – hand it over.”

“Now, now,” Yuta bought his hands up, palms facing towards Donghyuck and Mark, “Let’s not be irrational, it was hardly anything anyways-“

Donghyuck’s not listening. He stands, casually straightening out his shirt and brushing off his jeans, letting the others fall into a false sense of security, before suddenly he’s jumping and launching into a attack on Yuta with a loud war cry. Mark manages to see the shocked expression on Yuta’s face for a second before he’s completely covered by Donghyuck, the two bursting out laughing as Donghyuck tries to tickle Yuta and Yuta desperately tries to keep him away.

While they all ignore what was happening currently on the couch, Mark goes back to something Taeyong had said that had snagged in his memory and stayed.

“So,” he starts, talking louder to be heard over the sound of Donghyuck and Yuta, looking at Taeyong directly, “hyung, you said- that some of you guys had been through this too? I get that you didn’t want to but in, and that’s fair, I had to figure this out with Donghyuck alone, but does that mean-“

Youngho cuts in, “Well, you already know about me,” He says, getting everyones attention, “When Mark was having a gay crises I told him I was Bi, just to show him that it was OK and to help him figure shit out,” Youngho explains to the others, and Mark is quietly surprised but grateful that Youngho had kept his word and not told anyone else in the group, “but what I didn’t tell you was that I’m with Ten.”

“What!?” Donghyuck gets there before Mark, but they both end up looking towards Youngho with incredulous expressions on their faces.

Youngho looks smug, leaning back on the couch as he says, “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.”

Underneath Donghyuck, Yuta’s muffled voice says, “I’m also gay, and I’m with Sicheng.” On the other side of the couch Sicheng looks up from where he had been sipping at his drink, winking at Yuta when he knows Mark is watching and from Yuta’s lap Donghyuck fake retches.

“I’m the disaster bi in the relationship,” Sicheng informs everyone, “Yuta’s the disaster gay. It works.” Now it’s Yuta who puts up a fuss.

“Hey!” he yells, still muffled. “I’m not a disaster at all, that’s all you.”

Mark’s past the point of words, just looking between everyone as they all slowly come out.

“I’m with this idiot,” Taeyong adds, leaning against Doyoung who pretends to be disgusted, “It’s all an act when he pretends he’s disgusted, I’m gay.”

“Gross,” Doyoung says from beside him, but Mark doesn’t miss the little fond smile on his lips as he leans into Taeyong a little more, “I’m pansexual, basically I like everyone.”

Off to the side, Donghyuck gets up and away from Yuta who had been idly stroking through the sandy blond’s hair, joining Mark back on the floor, and leaning into him, half on Mark’s lap.

“Taeil and I are the straights,” Jaehyun says in the lull of conversation, laughing when Mark looks at him, surprised, “What? not all of us can be gay. We’re definitely allies though, and I’m definitely happy you and Donghyuck got over yourselves and worked it out.”

“Ditto from me,” Taeil says quietly from his end of the couch, giving Mark and Donghyuck one of his warm smiles when they both look at him, “We’re happy for you guys.”

Something warm blooms in Mark’s chest and he quietly says back, “Thank you guys.” Beside him Donghyuck murmurs the same thing, placing his head on Mark’s shoulder.

Mark looks towards Jungwoo, absently at first just because he had been so quiet, but when Jungwoo sees his gaze he raises his eyebrows and grins, poking his tongue out a little, “I’m definitely a homo, but I’m not really with anyone.”

“Oh please,” Youngho says from beside him, “You want to try that again? I’ve seen you with Yukhei-“

Jungwoo flushes a pretty pink till it reaches his ears, “OK so maybe Yukhei and I have a thing.”

“He’s gay too?” Donghyuck asks beside him, but oddly enough he doesn’t sound surprised, “I mean, I’m not that surprised, he has that Himbo energy, you know?”

“’Hyuck!” Mark laughs, slapping his boyfriends’ leg.

“What?” Laughs Donghyuck, hitting Mark back and pushing him till the black haired male almost falls over, “He does!”

Around him, the others laugh too but Mark’s too busy getting revenge as he pushes Donghyuck back. They end up in a position with Donghyuck actually sitting in Mark’s lap, the sandy blond squirming as Mark had attacked his sides, and somehow Donghyuck’s face ends up with his face pressed into Mark’s neck. It’s fine, it’s fine, how Mark’s heart speeds up a little faster and when he looks up towards the others again, he all finds them watching the two with mixed expressions of amusement and adoration for the two younger members.

“Just – please,” Taeyong starts once everyones calmed down a little, “Don’t do stuff where people can walk in, I really didn’t need to walk in on you two in that bathroom in China.”

Mark’s face flushes bright red, matching his ears and neck as he stares, wide eyed, at Taeyong – not believing that their leader had just said that aloud. Beside him Donghyuck makes a choking noise, but Mark is distracted, once he looks away from Taeyong, to see the other members all sniggering and chuckling between themselves.

“I second that,” Youngho adds, another traitor in the mix, “I know you were busy having your first gay experiences, Mark, but keep it out of the studios – we work there.”

“Hyungs!” Mark crows, “I- don’t- shut up!”

Across the couch, Yuta starts, “Oh come on guys, you remember what it was like to be their age – I remember walking in on you and Ten, Youngho-“ and, when Taeyong sniggers, Yuta eyes him and adds, “and you with Doyoung, Taeyong, I don’t think I could go near that mirror in the dance studios for a-“

He doesn’t get very far, because while Taeyong’s stopped in his tracks Doyoung leans across all the people in between him and Yuta to smack him. “I’ll break your kneecaps, Yuta, don’t think I won’t.”

It starts off an all out war in which Yuta keeps trying to expose the other members for embarrassing things they’ve been caught doing with their partners, Taeyong joining in once the attention was no longer just on him, Youngho seeming to have all the highly explicit dirt, Jaehyun joining in with his own smirk, Taeil sitting back saying nothing but his face said it all, and even Jungwoo joining in here and there. Eventually they stop, laughing and threatening each other with various forms of bodily harm, but otherwise finished for now.

Of course, Donghyuck has to ruin the moment, obviously not feeling oddly flushed like Mark was,

“So how much did you guys bet again?”

It starts off another mock argument, Donghyuck almost falling out of Mark’s lap as he leans towards the others to argue. Mark sits back and just watches, laughing to himself at everyone. He can’t help but feel that if someone had of asked at the start of everything if he would end up like this, openly bisexual and with a boyfriend when Mark had been so sure he was straight and hadn’t even had an inkling that he might like boys, Mark would have scoffed and denied everything; but now here he was, with a boyfriend and happy with his life, surrounded by his bandmates who only wanted the best for him and were happy for him and Donghyuck.

It looks like that wish Mark had made, so long ago at the campsite when things had been rocky, came true;

_‘I wish I was brave enough to make Donghyuck mine.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading two bros while it's been updated, as well as everyone who happens to see this fic once it's completed and decides to read it too. I've really enjoyed this whole project, and I'm hoping in the future I'll post more chaptered stories for other ideas. 
> 
> For the final time, please leave a kudos and a comment :) 
> 
> My tumblr is: 2kitsuneao3 - I still will be posting updates for new fics, or just feel free to come yell at me. 
> 
> Also ... I don't know how to delete the part that still says 'this story will be updated every tuesday' so just ignore that, I'll see if I can figure that out my end. 
> 
> Thank you! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and please leave a KUDOS or a COMMENT if you wish :)


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